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This fad was started on Jan 19th: 2008 by the user KrakenEater with his story, "The tale of the One FC". This spawned a great number of spinoffs, ranging from simple one post short stories, to ungoeing ones such as "The tale of the DWDTG FC." by MadAudioMan. And the "Tale of the Ernten Was Wir Saen FC" by Dark Zoma (Ben).
Here is an archived list of some.
The tale of the DWDTG FC by MadAudioMan.
--PART 1-- Two gunshots rang out threw the night, SweetLikeGravy fell down dead, with two holes through his face. But at another place, at the same time our story begins...
Lo7 and k3v sat together, silently kissing. "k3v, we can't let anyone know..." "I know babe. But I can't let my feelings be restrained." "You're right... They'll have to accept us."
Then in a flurry of motion, k3v fell dead, a knife in his back, the figure that had threw it standing in the window.
"NOOO!" Screamed Lo7 as he sped after the figure...
--PART 2-- Musicman88 was walking to the bathroom after a hot, sticky hour of sex with Huskerz. As he walked in the room, he saw something weird in the mirror, A man behind it!
He slowly reached forward to touch the mirror... He was yanked up into the air and pulled into the very mirror itself!
- * *
Fritz had just finished syncing together the last two albums of FoB when he heard his trap catch something. He ran into his bathroom to check... And there on the floor lay the KOed form of Musicman88...
--PART 3-- Fritz had duct-taped Musicman88 into a chair. Then he shook him awake. "What... W-who are you.... FRITZ!" "Yes. Its me. Fritz. And I've brought you here for something." "You can burn in hell! I'll never do you a favor." "Normally you wouldn't. But I have a hostage."
Fritz hit a switch and a bookcase spun around to reveal a hidden, glass chamber. Inside was Huskerz.
"NO!" Screamed Musicman88. "Yes... Now, onto the favor..."
--PART 4-- Lo7's heart was pounding as he raced after k3v's killer. He had to catch him... The killer turned a corner and slid on a wet newspaper, giving Lo7 the chance to leap forward and knock the killer over, and get him pinned underneath him.
"Who the **** are you!" Lo7 said as he ripped the hood off the killer and saw someone he wouldn't of expected... "Shinwa?"
- * *
In SLG's house, his killer was raping his dead body.
--PART 5-- Eric had just finished cutting himself. Putting another mark in his arms to signify the days... "Its been 21 days and 8 hours since he stole my girl... 21 days and 8 hours he has avoided my vengeance..."
In his room, Eric began to formulate a plan... For vengeance.
- * *
USSJ stepped out of the shower to see her room as it usually was, the TV with GH3 set up, and the bot she used to FC One's solo. And a tub full of vibrators. But those could be saved for later.
She walked to her computer and decided to check up on GFaqs, but was alerted by an E-Mail alert. She went to check it...
--PART 6-- Rishi finished his bowl of Currie and went to his computer. A message alerting him of new E-Mail greeted him..
"Hmm, wonder who it could be from." He opened the e-mail and read it, the shocked look on his face describing little of the horror in the e-mail...
- * *
"Now Musicman88... I want him alive." "I know... You want me to bring you Lo7 and Shinwa alive." "Yes. Then you can have your girl." "Trust me Fritz, I'll get her back. Even if it meant I'd have to kill SLG." "Good for you." Fritz said before he watched Musicman88 depart.
His plan was all coming together.
- * *
"TRASHED AND SCATTERED AGAIN!" Sooth screamed as his audio file of A7X finished playing. He was busy listening to his metalcore as he trolled the Metal Boards.
"Hmm. Reccomend me Death Metal?" He muttered as he clicked on a topic. Proceeding to type...
"Listen to A7X, cuz they're tr00er then any cookie monster bands you'll find here." He looked over the message and posted it.
"That'll keep'em happy..." Sooth muttered as he began to open up his Rust In Peace CD as he heard the front door open. "Who is it?" He yelled out.
--PART 7-- As Musicman88 was preparing to leave Fritz's house. The door was broken down by two figures, armed to the teeth with guns, fiber-wires and grenades.
The taller, brazilian one ran in first making sure Fritz wasn't within range of his gun. "EL, come'on the coast is clear." xFreebird said to Electric Light, who soon came to him. "Fritz is in here right?" "Yeah. Probably up in his bedroom." "Ok. Lets move up."
The two ran towards the staircase...
- * *
Musicman88 had just recieved his instructions from Fritz when the door to his bedroom burst open. In the doorway stood Electric Light and xFreebird.
"DUCK!" Yelled EL as he let out a hailfire of gun shots towards Fritz. But Fritz was fast enough to move, and was soon in intense combat with xFreebird and EL. "Musicman88, get Huskerz and run!" EL shouted.
Musicman88 obliged and had gotten Huskerz nearly out the door when EL and xFreebird come running as fast as they could.
"What is it?" Musicman88 asked. "Its his robot! We've gotta run!"
And in the distance Musicman88 saw Fritz's house cracking apart as the gigantic form of r0kk_0n rose from it.
--PART 8-- Sooth had his A7X signed shotgun ready incase it was somebody bad... He had heard the door open, and nothing else. It was eerily quiet.....
He slid through the barely open bedroom door into the hallway, it was dark, but he had good eyesight. He was creeping towards the stairs when. BAM!
Cjjlpsp walked into the hallway from the bathroom Sooth had just passed. "Hey buddy!" CJ said as he poked Sooth in the back. "AAH WHAT THE **** WAS THAT **** AND **** AND ****! POPPING UP ****ING BEHIND ME OUT OF MY **** ROOM!" Sooth said with his usual tone. "Calm down Sooth. I've come here for a reason." "What the **** is it?" "Rishi and USSJ have already been told its going down, and I was sent to tell you in person." "Whats going down?" "Fritz is trieing to capture Lo7." "Why?" "We don't know yet. But me, USSJ and Rishi will need your help. We need to infiltrate Fritz's lair and try and find stuff about why he'd need Lo7." "Well... Fine then."
--PART 9-- Shinwa could barely breath as Lo7 slowly choked him to death. But then justaquickq, Shinwa's partner in crime and buttsex came to the rescue.
He kicked Lo7 off Shinwa and held him down.
"This him?" Jaqq asked. "Yep. Lo7. Just who Fritz needs." "Good. Lets get headed back to HQ then." Jaqq said before putting Lo7 to sleep with a rag soaked in sedative.
- * *
Sooth and Cjj had begun the trek to USSJ's house. In the downtown of New York, New York. They had finally arrived on her doorstep and knocked. Waiting for a reply.
Soon they heard footsteps and Rishi opened the door for them, a half eaten bowl of Currie in his hands.
"Ah. You're both here." "Yep. Now whats this about Lo7 being taken hostage?" Sooth asked. "Come in and I'll tell you both." Rishi said before inviting them to the dinner table.
USSJ walked into the room, sat down at the table with them and began to explain the situation...
- * *
Eric had gotten his stuff together and the plan to win back Huskerz and kill Musicman88 was running through his mind like clockwork.
"Soon... Soon..." He muttered to himself as he loaded his gun.
The tale of the Ernten Was Wir Saen FC by Dark Zoma (Ben).
Chapter 1: The Beginning.
It was a sunny afternoon in Rome, Italy. However, elsewhere, things were not going as well.
"Where am I?" Rishi thought to himself, coming back to consciousness. The room was dank and dark; he could barely see his hand in front of his face. Glancing at his watch, he realized that it had stopped working. Suddenly, a voice startled him.
"Greetings, everybody. I trust you are wondering why you're here."
Many shouts of surprise rang through the air, indicating that Rishi was not the only one who was stuck in this abandoned building. Trying to find the source of the voice, he realized it was coming from all directions.
"Each of you have recently had something terrible happen in your lives. In this labyrinth are five others, each of whom may have likely caused this unfortunate event to take place. Now is your chance to exact your revenge. Around every corner, you will find a weapon. Your goal is to be the last one to survive."
Panicking, Rishi suddenly remembered that his house had been set on fire. A chance to kill the one who had done this brought him to full attention. The voice continued...
"You may be surprised to find that you are all familiar with each other. Rishi's house was set on fire. Soothsayer was mugged in an underground subway. ElectricLight was framed in a robbery. eric_cartmen was cheated on. MadAudioMan's car was stolen. Menagus' bank account was mysteriously emptied. With this background information, the hunt begins. Good luck, gentlemen."
Meanwhile, in Rome, Lo7 bought a 360.
To be continued... Who committed which heinous act against who? Who will be the first to die? Will Ernten Was Wir Saen really ever be FC'd?
Chapter 2: First Blood!
"****ing awkward hammer on system!" yelled Lo7, throwing his Les Paul across the room in a raging fit. "Screw this, I'm going back to squeezing GH2!"
"Don't give up, sir Lorenzo, give it another chance, please?" pleaded Ismell, Lo7's butler.
Stumbling out of the room, Soothsayer found himself in a twisted network of tunnels and paths. How was he ever going to find anybody in this mess? But just as that thought ended, footsteps around the corner put him in his alert mode. Making sure not to make any noise, he quietly walked down the hallway.
"Wonder what this is," he muttered, seeing an object lying on the ground ahead of him. A large katana met his grip as he stared in awe. Taking a few practice swings, he figured it would be enough to be able to defend himself should the need arise. However, the footsteps now heading towards him caught him off guard. Turning around to come face to face with Rishi, Sooth looked very threatening indeed, even though it was out of self defense.
"Evening, Rishi." The two former friends stood facing each other like statues. To think, only last week, they had 5*'d TTFAF on co-op together and then went out to celebrate at the local pub. Rishi took a step towards Sooth.
"Don't move!" he yelled, brandishing the sword. Who to trust? But then, he remembered... "Your goal is the to be the last one to survive." Without thinking, Sooth swung the sword at his best friend. At the same time, Rishi dashed forward. In a moment that felt like it lasted an eternity, both stood still... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Seconds later, Soothsayer fell to the ground dead, with a silver dagger in his chest.
"I can't believe it was you. You broke my heart, dear friend." Rishi walked away from the body, not looking back.
"No, I think I'll play some GH2," said Lo7.
"Fine," muttered Ismell.
To be continued... Who will be the next to die? What sort of squeezing shenanigans will Lo7 get up to? Find out in the next chapter!
Chapter 3: The Radiant Lake
"Yes! Another 1st!" yelled Lo7, having just squeezed super-upper-bound-optimal-flaming-ultra-max-ticks-+12 on Mr. Fix It.
Sighing, Ismell checked off another song on the "To 1st" list that Lo7 had drawn up when he started learning how to squeeze.
"And that's why Ostriches are bald," explained USSJ to xfreebird.
"Wow, I never realized that radiation was the explanation to that one, I guess you learn something new every day."
A scream from the abandoned looking building they were walking by made both of them jump. It wasn't natural... it made the hairs on the back of their necks stand up. "CALL THE COPS!" yelled xfreebird.
Sooth opened his eyes and found him staring into nothing but white light. "Where am I?" he thought to himself. Looking around, he saw a figure, but couldn't make out a face.
"Welcome. My name is Ben. I assume you would like to know what you're doing here?"
"Yes, I would appreciate that, Ben. Also, am I dead?" Sooth looked at his hands; he seemed normal enough. There wasn't a silver dagger in his chest either.
"One question at a time, friend. But if you want the answers, you'll have to follow me." Beckoning to Sooth, he walked until a bright lake appeared. "Proof of your sincerity will have to be shown. If you can reach the bottom of this lake and retrieve the golden stone, I will answer your questions."
Sooth thought this over. "Sounds good," he said. "So I just have to grab the stone?"
"Yes," replied Ben. "There's swim trunks in that shed over there."
After changing into the trunks, Sooth dived into the lake. To his surprise, it was like swimming through air. He could keep his eyes open without them stinging, and it almost felt as if he could breathe...
Meanwhile, Ben ran into the shack and took Sooth's wallet from his jeans and ran off.
"Well, I'm first on GH2 now Ismell. What say you grab me a brew to celebrate."
"Yes sire," mumbled Ismell. "**** my life." he thought to himself.
Chapter 4: Just A Quick Question
Ismell walked to the refrigerator and picked up a beer for his master. Suddenly, an idea struck him...
"911 emergency service," answered the voice on USSJ's celphone. "Hi, we'd like to report a cold-blooded murder in the abandoned mental institute at 9th Line and Evergreen Boulevard. Also, we'd like to place an order for a dozen donuts, 4 Hawaiian, 4 double chocolate, and 4 Boston cream." "MURDER?! OH GOD, WE'LL BE RIGHT OVER! Would you like fries with that? Wait..."
Inside the labyrinth, eric_cartmen walked through the halls with a hacked off shotgun. "For Huskerz," he thought to himself. No one was going to mess with him. No one.
Turning a corner, he caught site of something lying on the ground. Upon closer inspection, he found Sooth lying dead with a dagger in his chest. "Sooth? Hey, buddy, wake up!" he panicked, slapping Sooth on the face and shaking him. How many more lives would have to be taken? How many more friends would lay dead before him? "Why?!!! WHYYY!!!!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. Suddenly, he heard something through the walls.
"CALL THE COPS!"
Dashing towards the wall where the voice came from, eric_cartmen listened harder. Behind him, MadAudioMan was closing in with an electric drill...
Ismell laid passed out on the ground after his one beer.
"Where is that damn butler?" thought Lo7 in his room. "Paid help these days..."
To be continued... up next, the showdown between MAM and eric_cartmen! And some EWWS FC progress.
Chapter 5: MadAudioMan: They call him Mad for a reason
"Son of a..."
Lo7 went downstairs to find Ismell inebriated and unconscious. Throwing him into bed, he decided to take a break from the hardcore GH and to take a nap on the couch.
MadAudioMan got closer to eric and fired up the drill. Turning to see what the sound was coming from, eric immediately lifted his gun and pointed it at his incoming attacker.
"Back! Or I'll fire!"
MadAudioMan didn't listen. Without a moment's hesitation, he rammed the drill right into eric's leg, to which eric yelled out in mangled pain.
"AGH!" Instinctively, he shot MadAudioMan in the stomach with his shotgun. When the two separated, eric was bleeding from the leg, and MadAudioMan had a large wound in his stomach.
"You know what, eric?" he said, looking at the wound. "I'm really MAD at you!" he finished and stormed off with his nose in the air. eric was speechless; moments later he pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and tied it tightly around the wound. "I'll win this thing yet!" he thought to himself.
Sooth had dove all the way to the bottom of the lake, only to find nothing. "I couldn't find the stone, are you sure it's there? Ben?"
When Ben was nowhere to be found, he went to the shed to get changed, only to find his new wallet missing. "Dammit! Not again!"
"Zzzz." said Lo7.
To be continued...
Chapter 6: Menagus Strikes Back
"NEW DLC PACK: ERNTEN WAS WIR SAEN! CATCHY GERMAN POP WITH GUITAR SOLOS!"
"**** you!" yelled the PS2 and Wii players from the comfort of their homes.
Menagus stayed in the room after hearing this voice announce this horrid game. He had never killed anyone before, and here he was, killing for his own survival... With a nervous sigh, he walked into the hallway. Turning a corner, he found on the ground an electric drill.
"This should get the job done," he thought to himself. Setting off into the darkness, he tried to make his footsteps as quiet as possible. And apparently, he succeeded, because MadAudioMan didn't realize Matt was behind him until he struck him in the back with the drill.
"AGH!" gasped MadAudioMan. "Matt! You... you bastard! I thought we were friends!"
"Every man for himself. I'm sorry... dear friend." And he really was; a whole childhood of memories was about to go down the drain, and the decider was the drill currently inches from MadAudioMan's head. "Goodbye."
But before Matt could do anything, MadAudioMan took the crowbar he had found and swung it at Matt's arm. "Not if I have something to say about it! Only the mother****er who stole my car would be so quick to murder me!"
Matt fell to the ground, and within seconds, MadAudioMan had snatched the drill, drilled it into Matt's stomach, and ran off.
"N...No! I... didn't! C... Car..." gasped Matt with his last breath. "This... can't be... it..."
And Matt knew no more.
To be continued...