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- Jerry as Doug Funnie
- Frank as Roger Klotz
- Linda as Patti Mayonnaise
- Porkchop (from Doug) as Himself
- Thomas as Skeeter Valentine
- Tommy Pickles (from Rugrats) as Dale Valentine
- Randy Marsh (from South Park) as Lamar Bone
- Mimmi as Beebe Bluff
- Edna Krabappel (from Simpsons) as Mrs. Wingo
- Liane Cartman (from South Park) as Day Care Teacher
- Sheila Broflovski (from South Park) as Woman 1
- Alice Mitchell (from Dennis the Menace) as Woman 2
- Mrs. Tubby Bear (from Noddy's Toyland Adventures) as Nurse
- Big Bob Pataki (from Hey Arnold!) as Photographer
- Billy West - Jerry and Frank
- Constance Shulman - Linda
- Fred Newman - Porkchop, Thomas, Tommy Pickles and Photographer
- Doug Preis - Randy Marsh
- Alice Playten - Mimmi
- Doris Belack - Edna Krabappel and Nurse
- Becca Lish - Day Care Teacher, Woman 1 and 2
- Jerry: Whatever happened to Big Nose?
- Jerry: Let's see. If A equals how my big nose is now and B is the rate it grows per year, then by the time I finish college.
- Thomas: Whoa, a nose with a college degree. Cool man.
- Mrs. Cartman: Your brother said the word cool ten times today. And he said the word man six times.
- Thomas: Cool, man!
- Tommy: Hiya, big nose! Big nose, big nose!
- Frank: Smart little brother, you got there. Isn't that right, Mr. Schnoz?!
- Frank: I have an idea for you. Why don't you get two pictures taken: one for you, and on for that nose of yours!
- Linda: Your nose poked my eye out, Jerry! Call an ambulance! Help! Ow!
- Thomas: Hey, Jerry. I just had my picture taken. And you know what's really cool? I can still see the little spots under my eyes. I'm gonna miss 'em when their gone.
- Mimmi: So, Linda, how do you think your picture came out?
- Linda: Who knows?
- Jerry: Knows, see, their making fun of me!
- Thomas: Huh?
- Mimmi: And that girl in front of me, she was so nosy!
- Jerry: See, they did it again!
- Thomas: Did what, man?
- Linda: I think some people should just keep their big noses out of other people's business.
- Jerry: Big nose, did you hear that?
- Thomas: Hey, don't get your nose bent out of shape.
- Jerry: That's it, I'm outta here!
- Randy: Absolutely last call for picture takes. That means you, Jerry!
- Jerry: I think I'm sick.
- Mrs. Tubby Bear: What's your story?
- Jerry: I have.. uh.. Turkey pox?
- Mrs. Tubby Bear: You'e the fourth kid today to pull that one on me. Try again, Mister.
- Jerry: Uh, the Kangaroo Flu?
- Mrs. Tubby Bear: Nooooooo..
- Jerry: I had an allergic reaction to beets?
- Jerry: I think I'll go get my picture taken now?
- Mrs. Tubby Bear: Bingo!
- Tommy: Big nose!