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A Cow On The Line Transcript is Pikachufreak's idea.

Description

  • Here's the full transcript to A Cow On The Line.

Characters

  • Edward
  • Henry
  • Gordon
  • Toby
  • Percy (does not speak)
  • Thomas (cameo)
  • James (cameo)

Transcript

Ringo Starr US version

  • Ringo Starr: Edward was getting old. His bearings were worn, and he clanked as he puffed along. He was taking empty cattle cars to a market town. The sun shone, birds sang, but Edward was heading for trouble.
  • Edward: Come on! Come on!
  • George Carlin: He puffed.
  • Cars: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
  • Ringo Starr: Screamed the cars. Edward puffed and clanked, the cars rattled and screamed. Some cows were grazing near by. They were not used to trains. The noise and smoke disturbed them. As Edward clanked by, they broke through the fence and ran across the line. A coupling was broken and some cars were left behind.
  • (Cows mooing)
  • Ringo Starr: Edward felt a jerk, but didn't take much notice. He was used to cattle cars.
  • Edward: Bother those cars!
  • Ringo Starr: He thought.
  • Edward: Why can't they come quietly?
  • Ringo Starr: He was at the next station before either he or his driver realized what had happened. When Gordon and Henry heard about the accident, they laughed and boasted.
  • Gordon: Fancy allowing cars to break his train! They wouldn't dare do that to us. We'd show them!
  • Ringo Starr: Old Toby was cross.
  • Toby: You couldn't help it, Edward. They've never met cows. I have, and I know the trouble they are.
  • (Edward's whistle toots and puffs away)
  • Ringo Starr: Some days later, Gordon rushed through Edward's Station.
  • Gordon: Boop boop! Mind the cows! Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Gordon.
  • Coaches: Don't make such a fuss! Don't make such a fuss!
  • Ringo Starr: Grumbled his coaches. A long stretch a line lay ahead. In the distance was a bridge. It seemed to Gordon that there was something on the bridge. His driver thought so too.
  • Gordon's Driver: Whoa, Gordon!
  • Ringo Starr: He said, and shut off steam.
  • Gordon: Pooh!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
  • Gordon: It's only a cow! Shooh! Shooh!
  • Ringo Starr: He moved slowly on to the bridge, but the cow wouldn't "Shooh"! She had lost her calf, and felt lonely.
  • Cow: Mooooh!
  • Ringo Starr: She said sadly. Everyone tried to send her away, but she wouldn't go. Henry arrived.
  • Henry: What's this? A cow? I'll soon settle her. Be off! Be off!
  • Cow: Mooooh!
  • Ringo Starr: Said the cow. Henry backed away nervously.
  • Henry: I don't want to hurt her.
  • Ringo Starr: At the next station, Henry's Conductor told them about the cow, and warned the signalman that the line was blocked.
  • Porter: That must be Bluebell.
  • Ringo Starr: Said a porter.
  • Porter: Her calf is here, looking for her mother. Percy will take her along.
  • (Percy's whistle toots)
  • Ringo Starr: At the bridge, Bluebell was very pleased to her calf again, and the porter led them away.
  • (Cows mooing)
  • Henry: Not a word.
  • Gordon: Keep it dark.
  • Ringo Starr: Whispered Gordon and Henry to each other. They felt rather silly, but the story soon spread.
  • (Crickets chirping; owl hoots)
  • Edward: Well, well, well!
  • Ringo Starr: Chuckled Edward.
  • Edward: Two big engines afraid of a cow.
  • Gordon: Afraid? Rubbish.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Gordon.
  • Gordon: We didn't want the poor thing to hurt herself by running up against us. We stopped so as not to excite her. You see what I mean, my dear Edward?
  • Edward: Yes, Gordon.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Edward. Gordon felt somehow that Edward "saw" only too well.

George Carlin version

  • George Carlin: Edward was getting old. His bearings were worn, and he clanked as he puffed along. He was taking empty cattle cars to a market town. The sun shone, birds sang, but Edward was heading for trouble.
  • Edward: Come on! Come on!
  • George Carlin: He puffed.
  • Cars: Oh! Oh!
  • George Carlin: Screamed the cars. Edward puffed and clanked, the cars rattled and screamed. Some cows were grazing near by. They were not used to trains. The noise and smoke disturbed them. As Edward clanked by, they broke through the fence and ran across the line. A coupling was broken and some cars were left behind.
  • (Cows mooing)
  • George Carlin: Edward felt a jerk, but didn't take much notice. He was used to cattle cars.
  • Edward: Bother those cars!
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Edward: Why can't they come quietly?
  • George Carlin: He was at the next station before either he or his driver realized what had happened. When Gordon and Henry heard about the accident, they laughed and boasted.
  • Gordon: Fancy allowing cars to break your train! They wouldn't dare do that to us. We'd show them!
  • George Carlin: Old Toby was cross.
  • Toby: You couldn't help it, Edward. They've never met cows. I have, and I know the trouble they are.
  • (Edward's whistle toots and puffs away)
  • George Carlin: Some days later, Gordon rushed through Edward's Station.
  • Gordon: Boop boop! Mind the cows! Hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Gordon.
  • Coaches: Don't make such a fuss! Don't make such a fuss!
  • George Carlin: Grumbled his coaches. A long stretch a line lay ahead. In the distance was a bridge. It seemed to Gordon that there was something on the bridge. His driver thought so too.
  • Gordon's Driver: Whoa, Gordon!
  • George Carlin: He said, and shut off steam.
  • Gordon: Pooh!
  • George Carlin: Said Gordon.
  • Gordon: It's only a cow! Shooh! Shooh!
  • George Carlin: He moved slowly on to the bridge, but the cow wouldn't "Shooh"! She had lost her calf, and felt lonely.
  • Cow: Mooooh!
  • George Carlin: She said sadly. Everyone tried to send her away, but she wouldn't go. Henry arrived.
  • Henry: What's this? A cow? I'll soon settle her. Be off! Be off!
  • Cow: Mooooh!
  • George Carlin: Henry backed away nervously.
  • Henry: I don't want to hurt her.
  • George Carlin: At the next station, Henry's Conductor told them about the cow, and warned the signalman that the line was blocked.
  • Porter: That must be Bluebell.
  • George Carlin: Said a porter.
  • Porter: Her calf is here, looking for her mother. Percy will take her along.
  • (Percy's whistle toots)
  • George Carlin: At the bridge, Bluebell was very pleased to her calf again, and the porter led them away.
  • (Cows mooing)
  • Henry: Not a word.
  • Gordon: Keep it secret.
  • George Carlin: Whispered Gordon and Henry to each other. They felt rather silly, but the story soon spread.
  • (Crickets chirping; owl hoots)
  • Edward: Well, well, well!
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Edward.
  • Edward: Two big engines afraid of a cow.
  • Gordon: Afraid? Rubbish.
  • George Carlin: Said Gordon.
  • Gordon: We didn't want the poor thing to hurt herself by running up against us. We stopped so as not to excite her. You see what I mean, my dear Edward?
  • Edward: Yes, Gordon.
  • George Carlin: Said Edward. Gordon felt somehow that Edward "saw" only too well.

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