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Ash Ketchum and Friends: Ash and His Friends Help Out is Pikachufreak's spoof to Thomas and His Friends Help Out, each containing five Season 1 episodes, three Season 2 episodes and three Season 3 episodes narrated by George Carlin.

Cast

  • Ash Ketchum (from Pokemon) as Thomas
  • Peter Venkman (from Ghostbusters) as Edward
  • Shaggy Rogers (from Scooby-Doo) as Henry
  • Jason Lee Scott (from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers) as Gordon
  • Leonardo "Leo" San Juan (from Legend Quest) as James
  • Kevin Whitney (from Krypto The Superdog) as Percy
  • Tai Kamiya (from Digimon) as Toby
  • Fauna and Lana Harrison (from Twinkle Star Sprites) as Annie and Clarabel
  • Harriet Sanders (from Mermaid Melody) as Henrietta
  • Earthworm Jim (from Earthworm Jim) as Terence
  • Sonic The Hedgehog (from Sonic X) as Bertie
  • Bugs Bunny (from Looney Tunes) as Sir Topham Hatt
  • Virgil Hawkins (from Static Shock) as Duck
  • Ozzy Jones and Drix Koldriliff (from Ozzy and Drix) as Donald and Douglas
  • Turbo (from Turbo FAST) as Trevor
  • Superman (from Superman: The Animated Series) as Harold

Episodes

  1. Peter Helps Out
  2. Foolish Beedrill
  3. Ash, Kevin and The Mail
  4. Ash Breaks The Rules
  5. Down The Mine
  6. Kevin's Promise
  7. Trouble In The House
  8. Ozzy and Drix
  9. Saved From Scrap
  10. Sonic's Chase
  11. Ash and Kevin's Mountain Adventure

Script

Peter Helps Out

  • George Carlin: One day, Peter was in the shed where he lived with the other characters. They were all bigger than Peter and boasted about it.
  • Jason: The driver won't choose you again.
  • George Carlin: Said Jason.
  • Jason: He wants strong characters like us.
  • George Carlin: But the driver and fireman felt sorry for Peter.
  • Driver: Would you like to come out today?
  • Peter: Oh yes, please.
  • George Carlin: Said Peter. So they lit his fire, made lots of steam and Peter puff away. The other characters were very cross of being left behind. Peter worked hard all day. The coaches thought he was very kind and the driver was very pleased.
  • Peter: I'm going out again tomorrow.
  • George Carlin: Peter told the other characters that night.
  • Peter: What do you think at that?
  • George Carlin: But he didn't hear what they thought, for he was so tired and happy that he fell asleep at once. Next morning, Peter woke up to find nothing had change. Jason was still boating.
  • Jason: You watch me, little Peter, as I rush through with the express. That will be a splendid sight for you. Goodbye, little Peter. Look out for me this afternoon.
  • George Carlin: Peter went off to do some shunting. He like shunting. It was fun playing with Beedrill. He would come out quietly and gave them a push. Then he would stop, and the silly Beedrill will go bump into the each other.
  • Beedrill: Oh!
  • George Carlin: They cried.
  • Beedrill: Whatever is happening?
  • George Carlin: Peter played till there were no more Beedrill. Then he stopped to rest. Presently, he heard a whistle. Jason was cross. Instead of pulling shiny new coaches, he was pulling a dirty freight train.
  • Jason: A freight train, a freight train, a freight train!
  • George Carlin: He grumbled.
  • Jason: The shame of it, the shame of it, oh, the shame of it!
  • George Carlin: Peter laughed and went to find some more Beedrill. Then, there was trouble.
  • Porter: Jason can't get up the hill.
  • George Carlin: The porter called to Peter's Driver.
  • Porter: Will you take Jason and push him please?
  • George Carlin: They found Jason halfway up, and very cross. His driver and fireman were talking to him severely.
  • Driver: You're not trying.
  • Jason: I can't do it!
  • George Carlin: Said Jason.
  • Jason: The noisy Beedrill hold a character back so!
  • George Carlin: Peter's driver came up.
  • Driver: We've come to push.
  • Jason: No use at all!
  • George Carlin: Said Jason.
  • Driver: You wait and see.
  • George Carlin: Replied Peter's driver. They brought the train back to the bottom of the hill.
  • Peter: I'm ready.
  • George Carlin: Said Peter.
  • Jason: No good.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Jason. They pulled and pushed as hard as they could.
  • Jason: I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Jason.
  • Peter: I will do it, I will do it, I will do it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Peter. Peter pushed and puffed and puffed and pushed as hard as ever he could. And almost before he realized it, Jason found himself at the top of the hill.
  • Jason: I've done it, I've done it, I've done it!
  • George Carlin: He said proudly. He forgot all about kind Peter and didn't say thank you. Peter was left out of breath and far behind, but he was happy because he had been so helpful. At the next station, he found that the driver and fireman were very pleased with him. The fireman gave him a nice long drink and the driver said...
  • Driver: I'll get out my paint tomorrow, and give you your beautiful coat of blue with red stripes, then you'll be the smartest character in the shed.

Foolish Beedrill

  • George Carlin: Leo had not been out to arrange Arcanine or Beedrill in the yard for several days. He was feeling miserable.
  • Leo: Oh dear. I wonder how long I shall have to stay in the shed would anyone else see my coat again? Why did I go so fast that I made a hole in one of my coaches that had to be mended with of all things a passenger's bootlace.
  • George Carlin: At last Bugs Bunny arrived.
  • Bugs: I know you are sorry, Leo. And I know too that you want to be a useful character. People are laughing at my railway and I do not like that at all.
  • Leo: I will try hard to do my best.
  • George Carlin: Said Leo.
  • Bugs: That's a good boy. There's nothing like determination. I want you to pull some Beedrill for me.
  • George Carlin: Leo was delighted and puffed away.
  • Ash: Here's your freight train, Leo.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: Have you got some bootlaces ready?
  • George Carlin: And he ran off laughing.
  • Beedrill: Oh, no!
  • George Carlin: Said the Beedrill.
  • Beedrill: We want a proper character, not a red monster.
  • George Carlin: Leo took no notice and started as soon as the conductor was ready.
  • Leo: Come along, come along.
  • George Carlin: He puffed.
  • Beedrill: We won't, we won't.
  • George Carlin: Screamed the Beedrill. But Leo didn't care and he pulled the screeching Beedrill sternly out of the station. The Beedrill tried hard to make him give up but he still kept on. Sometimes their brakes will slip on and sometimes their axles will run hot and each time the trouble had to be put right and each time Leo will start again, determined not to let them beat him.
  • Beedrill: Give up, give up! You can't pull us! You can't, you can't!
  • George Carlin: Called the Beedrill.
  • Leo: I can and I will! I can and I will!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Leo and slowly but surely, he pulled them along the line. At last they saw Scott's Hill.
  • Driver: Look out for trouble, Leo.
  • George Carlin: Warned his driver.
  • Driver: We'll go fast and get them up before they know it. Don't let them stop you.
  • George Carlin: So Leo went faster and soon they were halfway up.
  • Leo: I'm doing it, I'm doing it.
  • George Carlin: He panted.
  • Leo: Will the top never come?
  • George Carlin: Then with a sudden jerk, it all came easier.
  • Leo: I've done it, I've done it. Hooray! It's easy now.
  • George Carlin: But his driver shut off steam.
  • Driver: They've done it again. We've left our tail behind. Look.
  • George Carlin: The last Beedrill were running backwards down the hill. A coupling had snapped. But the conductor stopped the Beedrill and got out to warn approaching characters.
  • Leo: That's why it was easy.
  • George Carlin: Said Leo as he backed the other Beedrill carefully down.
  • Leo: What silly things Beedrill are. They're might have been an accident.
  • Peter: Shall I help you, Leo?
  • George Carlin: Called Peter.
  • Leo: No thank you. I'll pull them myself.
  • Peter: Good, don't let them beat you. You're doing well!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Peter as Leo slowly struggled up the hill.
  • Leo: I can do it, I can do it.
  • George Carlin: He puffed. He pulled and puffed as hard as he could.
  • Leo: I've done it, I've done it!
  • George Carlin: He panted. Leo was resting in the yard when Peter pulled up.
  • Peter: Peep peep!
  • George Carlin: He whistled. Then, Leo saw Bugs Bunny.
  • Leo: Oh dear, what will he say?
  • George Carlin: He asked himself. But Bugs Bunny was smiling.
  • Bugs: I was in Peter's train and I saw everything. You made the most troublesome train on the line behaved. After that performance, you deserved to keep your red coat.

Ash, Kevin and The Mail

  • George Carlin: At night, when the other characters are tucked away in their rooms, you can still hear the faraway call of a character's whistle and the proper sound of feet moving. This is the sound of the mail delivery. One train is pulled by Ash, and the other by Kevin, as the loads are too heavy for one character to do the work alone. The mail is loaded into Beedrill at the harbour and the characters pull their trains through the silent stations delivering their precious loads. One a clear night, a big shiny moon brightens their journey, but often Ash and Kevin can even see the stars. But whenever the weather, lamps along the track always light their way. One night, Kevin was waiting at the junction. The main line train was late. At last, Shaggy arrived.
  • Shaggy: Sorry.
  • George Carlin: He puffed.
  • Shaggy: The mail boat from the main line was delayed.
  • Driver: Come on, Kevin.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: Let's make up for lost time.
  • George Carlin: Kevin hurried along as quickly as he could. But the sun was already rising as he finish his work.
  • Kevin: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: Thought Kevin.
  • Kevin: It's nice be up in about, when it's the start of a new day and there's no one else around.
  • George Carlin: Kevin was not alone for long.
  • Kevin: Bother!
  • George Carlin: Thought Kevin.
  • Kevin: It's that dizzy-thing Superman.
  • Superman: Good morning.
  • George Carlin: Whirled Superman.
  • Superman: I only said railways were out of date, but you're so slow with the mail. You should give everyone their stamps back.
  • George Carlin: Kevin was too tired to explain.
  • Kevin: Bird brain.
  • George Carlin: He muttered.
  • Virgil: Good morning, Kevin.
  • George Carlin: Called Virgil.
  • Virgil: You're up early this morning.
  • Kevin: No, you're wrong.
  • George Carlin: Sighed Kevin.
  • Kevin: I'm back, tired and late.
  • George Carlin: He rolled up to the shed and fell asleep, almost before his buffers touched the bar. His driver decided to set off early that evening. Ash was waiting at the station.
  • Ash: Thank goodness I have a chance to speak to you. Driver says the person in charge of the post has complained to Bugs Bunny about the delay last night.
  • Kevin: But that wasn't my fault.
  • George Carlin: Replied Kevin.
  • Ash: I know.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: And so does Bugs Bunny, but this post person wouldn't listen. Tonight, we'll just have to be quicker than ever before.
  • George Carlin: The characters were just leaving when they heard a familiar buzzing.
  • Superman: I say, you two, there's news flying about.
  • Kevin: Where?
  • George Carlin: Puffed Kevin crossly.
  • Superman: All other the place. They're going to scrap the mail train and use me instead. Wings work wonders you know. Always.
  • Ash: Rubbish.
  • George Carlin: Huffed Ash. That night, everything ran like clockwork. Ash and Kevin steamed through the stations making good time everywhere they went. At a station, Ash notice the man looking cold and worried. He had missed his train home.
  • Driver: We can give you a ride.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash's driver.
  • Ash's Driver: But it'll be rather uncomfortable.
  • Man: Thank you.
  • George Carlin: Said the man.
  • Man: Anything's better than sitting here.
  • George Carlin: The next afternoon, Kevin past the airfield and saw Superman.
  • Kevin: Hello, lazywings. Are you too tired to fly today?
  • Superman: The wings are too strong.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Superman.
  • Superman: I've been grounded.
  • Kevin: You need rails.
  • George Carlin: Laughed Kevin.
  • Kevin: They work wonders you know. Always.
  • George Carlin: That night, Bugs Bunny show the two characters a letter. It was from the man who missed his train.
  • Bugs: He thinks you are both splendid, and everyone says that the post train is the pride of the line.

Ash Breaks The Rules

  • George Carlin: There's a path to a quarry at the end of Ash's route. It goes to some distance along the road. Ash was very careful to whistle here in case anyone was coming. Early one morning, a large policeman was sitting close to the line. Ash liked policemen. He had been a great friend of the officer who had just retired.
  • Ash: Peep! Peep!
  • George Carlin: He whistled.
  • Ash: Good morning.
  • George Carlin: Ash expected that the new officer would be friendly too. But was sorry to see that he didn't look friendly at all. He was red in the face and very cross.
  • Policeman: Disgraceful!
  • George Carlin: He spluttered.
  • Policeman: I didn't sleep a wink last night. It was so quiet, and now trainers come whistling suddenly behind me.
  • Ash: I'm sorry, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I only said good morning.
  • George Carlin: The policeman pointed to Ash.
  • Policeman: Where's your cowcatchers?
  • George Carlin: He asked.
  • Ash: But I don't catch cows, sir.
  • Policeman: Don't be funny.
  • George Carlin: Snapped the policeman. He looked at Ash's shoes.
  • Policeman: No side plates either.
  • George Carlin: And he wrote in his notebook.
  • Policeman: Trainers going on public roads must have their shoes covered and a cowcatcher in front to protect people and animals from being dragged under the wheels if they stray under the line. You haven't so you are dangerous.
  • Driver: Rubbish.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash's driver.
  • Driver: We've been along here hundreds of times and never had an accident.
  • Policeman: That makes it worse.
  • George Carlin: The policeman answered. He wrote Regular Law Breaker in his book. Ash puffed sadly away. Bugs Bunny was having breakfast he was eating toast and marmalade. The butler came in.
  • Butler: Excuse me, sir, you're wanted on the telephone.
  • Bugs: Bother that telephone!
  • George Carlin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • (Phone chattering)
  • Bugs: I'm sorry, my dear.
  • George Carlin: He said to his wife.
  • Bugs: Ash is in trouble with the police and I must go at once.
  • George Carlin: At the station, Ash's driver told Bugs Bunny what had happened.
  • Bugs: Dangerous to the public indeed. We'll see about that.
  • George Carlin: Bugs Bunny spoke to the policeman. But however much he argued with him it was no good.
  • Policeman: The law is the law.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Policeman: And we can't change it.
  • George Carlin: Bugs Bunny felt exhausted.
  • Bugs: I'm sorry, driver.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Bugs: It's no use arguing with the policeman. We will have to make those cowcatcher things for Ash I suppose.
  • Ash: Everyone will laugh, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: They say I look like a character.
  • George Carlin: Bugs Bunny stared, then he laughed.
  • Bugs: Well done, Ash. Why didn't I think of it before. We want a character. When I was on my holiday, I met a nice little character called Tai. He takes Beedrill from the farms but the trucks have taken most of his work and he needs a change. He has brown hair and black eyes. I'll write to this superintendent at once.
  • George Carlin: A few days later, Tai arrived.
  • Bugs: That's a good cat.
  • George Carlin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: I see you brought your partner Harriet.
  • Tai: You don't mind, do you, sir?
  • George Carlin: Asked Tai.
  • Tai: The stationmaster wanted to use her as a hen house, and that would never do.
  • Bugs: No indeed.
  • George Carlin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: We couldn't allow that.
  • George Carlin: Tai made the silly Beedrill behave even better than Ash did.
  • Policeman: Hey you!
  • George Carlin: At first, Ash was jealous, but he was so pleased when Tai rang his bell and frightened the policeman, they've been firmed friends ever since.

Down The Mine

  • George Carlin: One day, Ash was at the junction when Jason shuffled in with some Beedrill.
  • Ash: Phew!
  • George Carlin: Remarked Ash.
  • Ash: What a funny smell. Can you smell a smell?
  • Fauna: I can't smell a smell.
  • George Carlin: Said Fauna.
  • Ash: A funny musty sort of smell.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Jason: No one noticed until you did.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Jason.
  • Jason: It must be yours.
  • George Carlin: Not long ago, he had fallen into a dirty ditch. Ash enjoyed teasing him about it.
  • Ash: Fauna, Lana, do you know what I think it is? It's ditchwater.
  • George Carlin: Before Jason could answer, Ash puffed away. Fauna and Lana could hardly believe their ears.
  • Fauna: He's dreadfully rude I feel quite ashamed.
  • Lana: I feel quite ashamed he's dreadfully rude.
  • George Carlin: And to Ash they said.
  • Fauna and Lana: You mustn't be rude, you make us ashamed.
  • George Carlin: But Ash didn't care a bit.
  • Ash: That was funny, that was funny.
  • George Carlin: He chuckled. He felt very pleased with himself. Fauna and Lana were deeply shocked. They have great respect for Jason Lee Scott. Ash left the girls at the station and went off to a mine for some Beedrill. Long ago, miners digging there have made tunnels under the ground. Their roofs are strong enough to hold up cars but not the weight of characters. A large notice warns them not to enter the area: Danger! Characters must not pass this board.
  • Ash: Silly old board.
  • George Carlin: Thought Ash. He had often tried to pass it but had never succeeded. But this morning he had made a plan. The fireman went to throw the switch.
  • Ash: Now for my plan!
  • George Carlin: Huffed Ash. Bumping the Beedrill fiercely he jerked his driver off the footplate and followed them into the siding.
  • Driver: Come back!
  • George Carlin: Yelled his driver.
  • (A loud splash is heard as Ash falls to the mine)
  • Ash: Fire and smoke!
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I'm sunk.
  • George Carlin: And he was.
  • Ash: Oh, dear.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Ash: I am a silly trainer.
  • Bugs: And a very naughty one, too. I saw you!
  • George Carlin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Ash: Please let me out. I wont do it again.
  • Bugs: I'm not sure. We can't lift you out with the cranes. The ground's not firm enough. Hmm, let me see. I wonder if Jason could pull you out.
  • Ash: Yes sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash. But he didn't want to meet Jason just yet.
  • Jason: Down the mine is he? Ha, ha, ha!
  • George Carlin: Laughed Jason.
  • Jason: What a joke! Boop boop! Little Ash, we'll have your out in a couple of puffs.
  • George Carlin: Strong cables were fastened between the two characters.
  • Bugs: Are you ready? Heave!
  • George Carlin: It was a lot harden than they all thought. But at last Ash was free.
  • Ash: I'm sorry I was cheeky.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Jason: That's all right, Ash. You made me laugh.
  • George Carlin: Replied Jason.
  • Jason: I'm in disgrace.
  • Ash: So am I.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Jason: Why so you are Ash. Shall we form an alliance? You help me and I help you.
  • Ash: Right you are.
  • George Carlin: Agreed Ash.
  • Jason: Good. That's settled.
  • George Carlin: Rumbled Jason. And buffer to buffer the allies puffed home.

Kevin's Promise

  • George Carlin: Every summer, the land of Cartoons was very busy. Holidaymakers love to sight see. When the weather is fine, there is no better place to visit. Some people like to go to the mountains, others like the valleys. Children love the seaside. One morning, Ash was strolling along the line that runs by the coast. His two girls, Fauna and Lana, were packed with children going to the beach. Everyone was happy. Kevin was taking some Beedrill to the Cartoon University.
  • Kevin: Hello, Ash. You look cheerful. I wish I can take children today instead of Beedrill.
  • Ash: They're in the vicar's Sunday school.
  • George Carlin: Explained Ash.
  • Ash: I'm busy this evening, but the stationmaster says I can ask you to take the children home.
  • Kevin: Of course I will.
  • George Carlin: Promised Kevin. Later, Kevin saw Superman.
  • Superman: Sorry, Kevin. Can't talk. I'm on high alert.
  • Kevin: Why?
  • Superman: Bad weather's due. My help's always needed. Might how you go, Kevin.
  • Kevin: Huh.
  • George Carlin: Huffed Kevin.
  • Kevin: As long I got rails to run on, I can go anywhere and any weather anyhow. Goodbye.
  • Peter: Be careful.
  • George Carlin: Warned Peter.
  • Peter: There's a storm coming.
  • Kevin: A promise is a promise.
  • George Carlin: Thought Kevin.
  • Kevin: No matter what the weather.
  • George Carlin: The children had a lovely day, but by tea time, dark clouds loomed ahead. Fauna and Lana are glad when Kevin arrived. He was just in time. The rain streamed down Kevin's boiler.
  • Kevin: Ugh!
  • George Carlin: He shivered and thought of his nice dry shed. Kevin struggled on past coastal villages and into the countryside. The river was rising fast.
  • Kevin: I wish I could see, I wish I could see!
  • George Carlin: Complained Kevin as he battled against the rain. More trouble lay ahead.
  • (Kevin falls into the water and inside him, the fire gets sloshed)
  • Kevin: Oh!
  • George Carlin: Hissed Kevin.
  • Kevin: The water's sloshing my fire!
  • George Carlin: Kevin's driver and fireman had to find some more firewood.
  • Fireman: I'll have some of your floor boards, please.
  • George Carlin: Said the fireman to the conductor.
  • Conductor: I only swept the floor this morning.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled the conductor and he still help. Soon, Kevin's fire was burning well. He felt warm and comfortable again. Then he saw Superman.
  • Kevin: Oh dear.
  • George Carlin: Thought Kevin.
  • Kevin: Superman's coming to laugh at me.
  • George Carlin: Something floated onto Kevin's boiler.
  • Kevin: Ow!
  • George Carlin: Explained Kevin.
  • Kevin: He needed throw things.
  • Driver: It's a parachute!
  • George Carlin: Laughed his driver.
  • Driver: Superman's dropping hot drinks from us.
  • Kevin: Thank you, Superman.
  • George Carlin: Whistled Kevin.
  • Superman: Good to be at service.
  • George Carlin: Replied Superman as buzzed away. The water lapped Kevin's feet. Kevin was losing steam again, but he plunged bravely on.
  • Kevin: I promised.
  • George Carlin: He panted.
  • Kevin: I promised.
  • George Carlin: He meant one more big effort, and at last exhausted by triumph, he brought the train home.
  • Ash: Well done, Kevin!
  • George Carlin: Cheered Ash.
  • Ash: You kept your promise, despite everything!
  • George Carlin: Bugs Bunny arrived in Superman. First, he thanked the men, then Kevin.
  • Bugs: Superman told me you are a wizard. He said he can beat you at somethings, but not a been on submarine. I don't know what you get onto sometimes, but I do know that you're a really useful kid.
  • Kevin: Oh sir.
  • George Carlin: Whispered Kevin happily.

Trouble In The House

  • George Carlin: Bugs Bunny sat in his office listening to the noise outside. The passengers were angry. The stationmaster came in.
  • Stationmaster: There's trouble in the house, sir. Shaggy was sulking. There's no train and the passengers are saying this is a bad railway.
  • Bugs: Indeed.
  • George Carlin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: We cannot allow that.
  • George Carlin: He found Jason, Leo and Shaggy looking very cross.
  • Bugs: Come along, Shaggy. It's time your train was ready.
  • Jason: Shaggy's not going!
  • George Carlin: Said Jason.
  • Jason: We won't shunt like little characters. That was Ash's job. We are important tender characters. You fetch our coaches and we will pull them. Tender characters don't shunt.
  • Bugs: We'll see about that.
  • George Carlin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: No character on my railway is too important for small jobs.
  • George Carlin: And he hurried away to find Peter.
  • Bugs: The yard has never been the same since Ash left to run his branch line.
  • George Carlin: He thought sadly. Peter was shunting.
  • Bugs: Leave those Beedrill please, Peter.
  • George Carlin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: I want to push coaches for me in the yard.
  • Peter: Thank you, sir. That will be a nice change.
  • Bugs: That's a good boy. Off you go then.
  • George Carlin: So Peter found coaches for the three characters and that day, the train's ran as usual. But next morning, Peter looked unhappy. Jason came clanking pass hissing rudely.
  • Bugs: Bless me!
  • George Carlin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: What a noise!
  • Peter: They all hissed me, Sir.
  • George Carlin: Answered Peter.
  • Peter: They say tender characters don't shunt and last night they said I have gray feet. I haven't have I, sir?
  • Bugs: No Peter, you have nice blue ones, and I'm proud of you. Tender characters do shunt, but all the same we do need another character here.
  • George Carlin: He went to the workshop and they showed them all sorts of characters. At last, he saw a smart little kid with brown hair.
  • Bugs: That's the one.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Bugs: If I choose you, will you work hard?
  • Kevin: Oh sir, yes sir.
  • Bugs: That's a good boy. I'll call you Kevin.
  • Kevin: Yes sir, thank you sir.
  • George Carlin: And Bugs Bunny brought Kevin back to the yard.
  • Bugs: Peter.
  • George Carlin: He called.
  • Bugs: Here's Kevin. Will you show him everything?
  • George Carlin: Kevin soon learned what he had to do and they had a happy afternoon. Then Shaggy came by hissing as usual.
  • Kevin: Wheesh!
  • George Carlin: Went Kevin. Shaggy jumped and ran back to the shed.
  • Peter: How beautifully you wheeshed him!
  • George Carlin: Laughed Peter.
  • Peter: I can't wheesh like that.
  • Kevin: Oh.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin: That's nothing. You should hear them in the workshop. You have to wheesh loudly to make yourself heard.
  • George Carlin: Next morning, Ash arrived.
  • Ash: Bugs sent to me. I expect he wants help.
  • George Carlin: He said to Peter.
  • Peter: Sh, sh, here he comes.
  • George Carlin: Replied Peter.
  • Bugs: Well done, Ash, you've been quick. Listen, Shaggy, Jason and Leo are sulking. They say they won't shunt like little characters, so I have shut them up and I want you both to run a line for a while.
  • Ash: Little characters indeed.
  • George Carlin: Snorted Ash.
  • Ash: We'll show them.
  • Bugs: And Kevin will help too.
  • Kevin: Oh sir, yes sir, please sir.
  • George Carlin: Answered Kevin. Peter and Ash worked the main line greeting each other as they pass by. Kevin puffed along the branch line. Ash was anxious about Fauna and Lana, but both driver and conductor promise to take care of them. They were fewer trains but the passengers didn't mind. They knew the three other characters were having a lesson. Jason, Leo and Shaggy were cold, lonely and miserable. They wish now they haven't been so silly.

Ozzy and Drix

  • George Carlin: Ozzy and Drix are cells and have arrived from the City of Hector to help Bugs Bunny, but only one character had been expected. The cells meant well, but did cause confusion. Bugs Bunny had given them numbers, Ozzy 9 and Drix 10, but he was still planning to send one character home. There was Elmer Fudd in the yard that had taken a dislike to Drix. Things always went wrong when he had to take it out. His trains were late and he was blamed. Drix began to worry. Ozzy, his friend, was angry.
  • Ozzy: You're a muckle nuisance!
  • George Carlin: Said Ozzy.
  • Ozzy: It's to leave you behind I'd be wanting.
  • Elmer: You can't!
  • George Carlin: Said Elmer.
  • Elmer: I'm essential!
  • Ozzy: Och are you?
  • George Carlin: Ozzy burst out.
  • Ozzy: You're nothing but a screeching and a noise when all set is done. Spite Drix, would ya? Take that!
  • Elmer: Ow! Ooh!
  • George Carlin: Cried Elmer.
  • Ozzy: There's more coming should you misbehave.
  • George Carlin: Elmer behave better after that. Until one day, Ozzy had an accident. The rails were slippery. He couldn't stop in time.
  • (Ozzy crashes into the signal box)
  • George Carlin: Ozzy wasn't hurt, but Bugs Bunny was most annoyed.
  • Bugs: I am disappointed, Ozzy. I didn't expect such, er, clumsiness from you. I had decided to send Drix back and keep you.
  • Ozzy: I'm sorry, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Ozzy.
  • Bugs: I should think so, too. You have upset my arrangements. Now Leo will have to help you with the goods work, while you have your tender mended. Leo won't like that.
  • George Carlin: Bugs Bunny was right. Leo grumbled dreadfully about extra work.
  • Drix: Anyone would think.
  • George Cralin: Said Drix.
  • Drix: That Ozzy had had his accident on purpose. I heard tell about a character and some tar wagons.
  • Leo: Shut up!
  • George Carlin: Said Leo.
  • Leo: It's not funny.
  • George Carlin: He didn't like to be remind about his own accident.
  • Drix: Well, well, well! Surely, Leo, it wasn't you. You didn't say.
  • George Carlin: Leo didn't say. He slouched sulkily away.
  • Elmer: Leo is cross!
  • George Carlin: Sniggered Elmer.
  • Elmer: We'll try to make him crosser still!
  • Beedrill: Hold back!
  • George Carlin: Giggled the Beedrill to each other. Leo did his best, but he was exhausted when they reached Peter's station. Luckily, Drix was there.
  • Leo: Help me up the hill, please!
  • George Carlin: Panted Leo.
  • Leo: These Beedrill are playing tricks.
  • Drix: We'll show them.
  • George Carlin: Said Drix. Slowly but surely, the snorting characters forced the Beedrill up the hill. But Leo was losing steam.
  • Leo: I can't do it, I can't do it!
  • Drix: Leave it to me!
  • George Carlin: Shouted Drix. The conductor was anxious.
  • Conductor: Go steady! Elmer's breaking!
  • (Drix smashes Elmer to bits)
  • George Carlin: Elmer was in pieces. No one had been hurt, and soon Peter came to clear the mess. Bugs Bunny was on board.
  • Bugs: I might have known it would be Drix.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Peter: Drix was grand, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Peter.
  • Peter: Leo had no steam left, but Drix worked hard enough for three. I heard him from my yard.
  • Bugs: Two would have been enough.
  • George Carlin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: I want to be fair, Drix, but I don't know. I really don't know.
  • George Carlin: Bugs Bunny was making up his mind about which character to send away, but that's another story.

Saved From Scrap

  • George Carlin: Bugs Bunny works his characters hard, but they are very proud when he calls them really useful.
  • Peter: I'm going to the scrapyard today.
  • George Carlin: Peter called to Ash.
  • Ash: What? Already? You're not that old.
  • George Carlin: Replied Ash cheekily. Ash was only teased him. The scrapyard was full of rusty old cars and machinery. They are broken into pieces, loaded into Beedrill and Peter pulls them to the steelworks where they are melted down and used again. Today, there was a surprise waiting for Peter in the yard. It was a snail.
  • Peter: Hello.
  • George Carlin: Said Peter.
  • Peter: You're not broken and rusty. What are you doing here?
  • Turbo: I'm Turbo. They're going to break me up next week.
  • Peter: What a shame.
  • George Carlin: Said Peter.
  • Turbo: My driver says I only need some paint, polish and oil to be as good as new, but my owner says I'm old fashioned.
  • George Carlin: Peter snorted.
  • Peter: People say I'm old fashioned, but I don't care. Bugs Bunny says I'm a useful character. What work did you do?
  • Turbo: My owner will send us from farm to farm. We threshed corn, hauled logs and did lots of other work. The children loved to see us.
  • George Carlin: Turbo shut his eyes, remembering.
  • Turbo: Oh, yes. I like children.
  • George Carlin: Peter set off for the station.
  • Peter: Broken up, what a shame. Broken up, what a shame. I must help Turbo, I must.
  • George Carlin: He thought of all his friends who liked characters. But strangely none of them would have room for a snail at home.
  • Peter: It's a shame, it's a shame.
  • George Carlin: He hissed. Then...
  • Peter: Peep! Peep! Why didn't I think of him before.
  • George Carlin: There on the platform was the very person.
  • Charles: Hello, Peter. You look upset. What's the matter, Charlie?
  • George Carlin: He asked the driver.
  • Driver: There's a snail in the scrapyard, professor. He'll be broken up next week. Bluster Kong says he never drove a better character.
  • Peter: Do save him, sir. He saws wood and gives children rides.
  • Charles: We'll see.
  • George Carlin: Replied the professor. Bluster Kong came on Saturday.
  • Bluster Kong: The reverend's coming to see you, Turbo. Maybe he'll buy you.
  • Turbo: Do you think he will?
  • George Carlin: Asked Turbo.
  • Bluster Kong: He will when I lit your fire and clean you up.
  • George Carlin: The professor and his two boys arrived that evening. Turbo hadn't felt so happy for months. He chuffered about the yard.
  • Charles: Show your paces, Turbo.
  • George Carlin: Said the professor. Later he came out of the office, smiling.
  • Charles: I've got him cheap, Bluster, cheap.
  • Bluster Kong: Did ye hear that, Turbo?
  • George Carlin: Cried Bluster.
  • Bluster Kong: The reverend's saved you and you'll live at the vicarage now.
  • Turbo: Peep! Peep!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Turbo. Now Turbo's home was in the Vicarage Orchard, and he sees Peter every day. His paint is spotless and his brass shines like gold. Turbo likes his work but his happiest day is the church fair. With a wooden seat bolted to his bunker, he chuffers round the orchard giving rides to children. Long afterwards, you will see him shut his eyes, remembering.
  • Turbo: I like children.
  • George Carlin: He whispers happily.

Sonic's Chase

  • George Carlin: One morning, Peter was waiting to pick up passengers from Ash Ketchum.
  • Peter: Peep peep! We're late! Where is Ash? He doesn't usually make us wait.
  • Fireman: Oh dear, what can the matter be?
  • George Carlin: Sanged the fireman.
  • Fireman: Johnny's so longer...
  • Driver: Never you mind abot Johnny.
  • George Carlin: Laughed the driver.
  • Driver: Just you climb on the cab and look for Ash. Can you see him?
  • Fireman: No.
  • George Carlin: Replied the fireman.
  • Fireman: There's Sonic the Hedgehog in the terriying hurry. No need to bother with him though. Likely, he's on the coach tour of something.
  • George Carlin: He clambered down.
  • Sonic: Stop, stop! I've got Ash's passengers!
  • George Carlin: Wailed Sonic, roaring up to the gates. It was no good. Peter was gone.
  • Sonic: Bother.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Sonic: Bother Ash's fireman not coming to work today. Why did I promise to help the visitors catch the train?
  • Driver: That will do, Sonic.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: A promise is a promise and we must keep it.
  • Sonic: I'll catch Peter or bust.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Sonic: Oh, my gears and axles!
  • George Carlin: He groaned, toiling up the hill.
  • Sonic: I'll never be the same bus again. Hooray, hooray! I see him!
  • George Carlin: Cheered Sonic as he reached the top.
  • Sonic: Oh, no! Peter's at the station! No, he stopped at the crossing. Hooray, hooray!
  • George Carlin: Sonic toured down the hill.
  • Passengers: Well done, Sonic!
  • George Carlin: Shouted his passengers.
  • Passengers: Go it!
  • George Carlin: Sonic skitted into the yard.
  • Sonic: Wait, wait!
  • George Carlin: Cried Sonic. He was just in time to see Kevin puffed away.
  • Sonic: I'm sorry.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Passengers: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: Said the passengers.
  • Passengers: After him quickly. Third time lucky you know. Do you think we'll catch 'em at the next station, driver?
  • Driver: There's a good chance.
  • George Carlin: Replied his driver.
  • Driver: Our road keeps close to the line and we can climb hills better than Peter. I'll just make sure.
  • George Carlin: He spoke to the stationmaster. Sonic and the passengers waited impatiently.
  • Driver: Yes! We'll do it this time.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Passengers: Hooray!
  • George Carlin: Called the passengers, as Sonic chased after Peter once more.
  • Pets: This hill is too steep, this hill is too steep!
  • George Carlin: Grumbled the pets as Peter snorted in front. They reach the top at last and ran smoothly into the station.
  • Peter: Peep!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Peter.
  • Peter: Get in quickly please.
  • George Carlin: The conductor blew the whistle and Peter's driver looked back. But the flag didn't wave, Then he heard Sonic. Everything seem to happy at once, and the stationmaster told the conductor and driver what had happened.
  • Peter: I'm sorry about the chase, Sonic.
  • George Carlin: Said Peter.
  • Sonic: My fault.
  • George Carlin: Replied Sonic.
  • Sonic: Late at junction. You didn't know about Ash's passengers.
  • Peter: Peep peep! Goodbye, Sonic! We're off!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Peter.
  • Passengers: Three cheers for Sonic!
  • George Carlin: Called the passengers. Sonic raced back to tell Ash that all was well.
  • Ash: Thank you, Sonic, for keeping your promise.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: You're a very good friend indeed.

Ash and Kevin's Mountain Adventure

  • George Carlin: If someday, you should see Ash Ketchum walking happily along the line, he may be on his way to a village nestled deep in the heart of the land of Cartoons. One November morning, Ash whistled to all his friends.
  • Ash: It's nearly Thanksgiving and I'll bring you lots of letters and parcels.
  • George Carlin: But then, an early snowstorm came. The land was covered with thick snow. The characters found work difficult. Some had to help clear snow from the track and workmen hacked away at the frozen banks of ice. Ash and Kevin were collecting important mail for Thanksgiving.
  • Ash: Driver says there's of mail for the village.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I'll need an extra car for it all.
  • George Carlin: Kevin was feeling left out.
  • Kevin: It's not fair, you're not leaving any mail for me.
  • George Carlin: But Kevin's chance had come.
  • Ash's Driver: There's been a change of plan.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash's driver.
  • Ash's Driver: Bugs Bunny needs us at the big station. Kevin, you are to take Ash's train to the village.
  • George Carlin: Kevin was delighted, but Ash was sad.
  • Ash: I won't be able to say happy Thanksgiving to all my friends.
  • Kevin: Don't worry.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin kindly.
  • Kevin: I'll do it for you.
  • Ash: It's not the same.
  • George Carlin: Sighed Ash. Kevin was making good time on his way to the village when suddenly...
  • Kevin's Driver: What's that?
  • George Carlin: Called his driver. There ahead was a fogman by the line. He was holding a red light.
  • Fogman: The village is cut off by the snow.
  • George Carlin: He shouted.
  • Fogman: We need snowploughs, workmen and a superhero. Leave your cars on the sidings and go back quickly.
  • George Carlin: Kevin was soon steaming to Superman's airfield.
  • Kevin: Peep, peep!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Kevin.
  • Kevin: Wake up, lazy-wings, the mountain villagers need your help. They're stranded.
  • Superman: With so.
  • George Carlin: Replied Superman.
  • Superman: I like an emergency to keep me warm.
  • George Carlin: And he flew away.
  • Kevin: Now.
  • George Carlin: Sighed Kevin.
  • Kevin: What's next?
  • George Carlin: Suddenly, there was Ash with Earthworm Jim and the works train.
  • Ash: Come on, Kevin.
  • George Carlin: Whistled Ash.
  • Ash: Follow me.
  • George Carlin: The two characters battled their way through the snow. At last, they reached the village. Superman was already there busily dropping food for Thanksgiving dinner to the people below. Jim quickly got to work.
  • Jim: Lovely stuff.
  • George Carlin: He said as he pushed the snow aside.
  • Villagers: Well done, Kevin. Well done, Ash.
  • George Carlin: Cheered the villagers.
  • Ash: Kevin, I just remembered. Your mail train is still back at the siding isn't it?
  • George Carlin: Kevin hurried back to fetch it. Just then, Tai arrived with Harriet.
  • Tai: We've brought lots of hot drinks and food for the villagers.
  • George Carlin: He whistled. That night all the characters had gone back to the sheds, except Tai. The villagers had made a plan to thank the characters. They loaded paint pots and parcels into Harriet and then they set off through the moonlit countryside. All the characters were fast asleep in the sheds as Tai ran silently into the yard. He had no idea what the villagers were going to do, but he knew it was going to be a big surprise. When the characters woke the next morning they could not believe their eyes. The sheds had been repainted and decorated. The characters whistled in delight and everyone agreed that it was a really happy Thanksgiving.

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