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Ash and Friends: The Complete Season 1 is a spoof to Thomas and Friends: The Complete Season 1, with all twenty-six episodes told by George Carlin for US Audiences.

Cast

  • Ash Ketchum (from Pokemon) as Thomas
  • Yusei Fudo (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) as Edward
  • Marcus Damon (from Digimon: Data Squad) as Henry
  • Rick Wheeler (from F-Zero: GP Legend) as Gordon
  • Lan Hikari (from Mega Man: NT Warrior) as James
  • Nate Adams (from Yo-Kai Watch) as Percy
  • Kaito Tatsuno (from DinoZaurs) as Toby
  • Sonic The Hedgehog (from Sonic X) as Bertie
  • Kimba (from Kimba The White Lion) as Terence
  • Jenny and Jewels (from Bakugan) as Annie and Clarabel
  • Binka (from Shinzo) as Henrietta
  • Yugi Moto (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) as Sir Topham Hatt or the Fat Controller in UK
  • Melinda Glynn (from Wedding Peach) as Lady Hatt
  • Tony and Sara Goodman (from Flint The Time Detective) as Stephen and Bridget Hatt
  • Miss Yvette Woodgrove (from Pretty Cure) as Mrs. Kyndley
  • Beedrill as Troublesome Trucks
  • Arcanine as Coaches

Episodes

  1. Ash Gets Tricked
  2. Yusei Helps Out
  3. Come Out Marcus
  4. Marcus To The Rescue
  5. A Big Day For Ash
  6. Trouble For Ash
  7. Ash Saves The Day
  8. Lan Learns A Lesson
  9. Foolish Beedrill
  10. A Proud Day For Lan
  11. Ash and The Conductor
  12. Ash Goes Fishing
  13. Kimba The White Lion
  14. Ash and Sonic's Great Race
  15. Characters and Turntables
  16. Trouble In The House
  17. Nate Runs Away
  18. Marcus' Special Medicine
  19. The Flying Kipper
  20. Whistles and Sneezes
  21. Kaito Tatsuno
  22. Ash Breaks The Rules
  23. Lan In A Mess
  24. Rick Takes A Dip
  25. Down The Mine
  26. Ash's Christmas Party

Script

Ash Gets Tricked

  • George Carlin: Ash is a Pokemon Trainer, who lives in a big town on the land of Cartoons. He's a cheeky little trainer with black and white sneakers, a red cap, black hair and blue jeans. He's a fussy little character too. Always pulling coaches about ready for the big characters can take on long journeys. And when trains come in, he pulls the empty coaches away so that the big characters can go on rest. Ash thinks no character works has hard as he does. He loves playing tricks on them, including Rick the biggest and proudest character of all. Ash likes to tease Rick with his whistle.
  • Ash: Wake up, lazybones. Why don't you work hard like me?
  • George Carlin: One day after pulling the big express, Rick had arrived back on the sidings very tired. He was just going to sleep when Ash came up in his cheeky way.
  • Ash: Wake up, lazybones. Do some hard work for a change. You can't catch me!
  • George Carlin: And off he ran laughing. Instead of going to sleep again, Rick thought how he can back at Ash. One morning, Ash wouldn't wake up. His driver and fireman couldn't make him start. His fire went out and there was not enough steam. It was nearly time for the express. People are waiting, but the coaches weren't ready. At last, Ash started.
  • Ash: Oh dear, oh dear!
  • George Carlin: He yawned. He fussed into the station where Rick was waiting.
  • Rick: Hurry up, you!
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Ash: Hurry up yourself.
  • George Carlin: Replied Ash. Rick the proud character began making his plan to teach Ash a lesson for teasing him. Almost before the coaches had stopped moving, Rick reversed quickly and was coupled to the train.
  • Rick: Get in quickly, please!
  • George Carlin: He whistled. Ash usually pushed behind the big trains to help them start, but he was always uncoupled first. This time, Rick start so quickly they forgot to uncouple Ash. Rick's chance had come.
  • Rick: Come on, come on!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Rick to the coaches. The train went faster and faster. Too fast for Ash, he wanted to stop, but he couldn't.
  • Ash: Peep peep! Stop, stop!
  • Rick: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: Laughed Rick.
  • Coaches: You can't get away, you can't get away!
  • George Carlin: Laughed the coaches. Poor Ash was going faster than he had ever gone before. He was out of breath and his feet hurt him, but he had to go on.
  • Ash: I shall never be the same again.
  • George Carlin: He thought sadly.
  • Ash: My feet will be quite worn out.
  • George Carlin: At last, they stopped at the station. Ash was uncoupled and he felt very silly and exhausted. Next he went on to the turntable thinking of everyone laughing at him. And then he ran on to a siding out of the way.
  • Rick: Well, little Ash.
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Rick.
  • Rick: Now you know what hard work means, don't you?
  • George Carlin: Poor Ash couldn't answer. He had no breath. He just puffed slowly away to rest and had a long long drink.
  • Ash: Maybe I don't have to tease Rick to feel important.
  • George Carlin: Ash thought to himself. And he walked slowly home.

Yusei Helps Out

  • George Carlin: One day, Yusei was in the library where he lived with the other characters. They were all bigger than Yusei and boasted about it.
  • Rick: The driver won't choose you again.
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: He wants strong characters like us.
  • George Carlin: But the driver and fireman felt sorry for Yusei.
  • Driver: Would you like to come out today?
  • Yusei: Oh yes, please.
  • George Carlin: Said Yusei. So they lit his fire, made lots of steam and Yusei puff away. The other characters were very cross of being left behind. Yusei worked hard all day. The coaches thought he was very kind and the driver was very pleased.
  • Yusei: I'm going out again tomorrow.
  • George Carlin: Yusei told the other characters that night.
  • Yusei: What do you think at that?
  • George Carlin: But he didn't hear what they thought, for he was so tired and happy that he fell asleep at once. Next morning, Yusei woke up to find nothing had change. Rick was still boating.
  • Rick: You watch me, little Yusei, as I rush through with the express. That will be a splendid sight for you. Goodbye, little Yusei. Look out for me this afternoon.
  • George Carlin: Yusei went off to do some shunting. He like shunting. It was fun playing with Beedrill. He would come out quietly and gave them a push. Then he would stop, and the silly Beedrill will go bump into the each other.
  • Beedrill: Oh!
  • George Carlin: They cried.
  • Beedrill: Whatever is happening?
  • George Carlin: Yusei played till there were no more Beedrill. Then he stopped to rest. Presently, he heard a whistle. Rick was cross. Instead of pulling shiny new coaches, he was pulling a dirty freight train.
  • Rick: A freight train, a freight train, a freight train!
  • George Carlin: He grumbled.
  • Rick: The shame of it, the shame of it, oh, the shame of it!
  • George Carlin: Yusei laughed and went to find some more Beedrill. Then, there was trouble.
  • Porter: Rick can't get up the hill.
  • George Carlin: The porter called to Yusei's Driver.
  • Porter: Will you take Rick and push him please?
  • George Carlin: They found Rick halfway up, and very cross. His driver and fireman were talking to him severely.
  • Driver: You're not trying.
  • Rick: I can't do it!
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: The noisy Beedrill hold a character back so!
  • George Carlin: Yusei's driver came up.
  • Driver: We've come to push.
  • Rick: No use at all!
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Driver: You wait and see.
  • George Carlin: Replied Yusei's driver. They brought the train back to the bottom of the hill.
  • Yusei: I'm ready.
  • George Carlin: Said Yusei.
  • Rick: No good.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Rick. They pulled and pushed as hard as they could.
  • Rick: I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Rick.
  • Yusei: I will do it, I will do it, I will do it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Yusei. Yusei pushed and puffed and puffed and pushed as hard as ever he could. And almost before he realized it, Rick found himself at the top of the hill.
  • Rick: I've done it, I've done it, I've done it!
  • George Carlin: He said proudly. He forgot all about kind Rick and didn't say thank you. Rick was left out of breath and far behind, but he was happy because he had been so helpful. At the next station, he found that the driver and fireman were very pleased with him. The fireman gave him a nice long drink and the driver said...
  • Driver: I'll get out my paint tomorrow, and give you your beautiful coat of blue with red stripes, then you'll be the smartest character in the shed.

Come Out Marcus

  • George Carlin: Once a character taking some Arcanine was afraid of a few drops of rain. It went into a tunnel and squeaked through its funnel, and wouldn't come out again. The character's name is Marcus. His driver and fireman argued with him, but he would not move.
  • Marcus: The rain would spoil my lovely green paint and red stripes.
  • George Carlin: He said. The conductor blew his whistle till he had no more breath, and waved his flag till his arms ached, but Marcus still stayed in the tunnel and blew steam at him.
  • Marcus: I'm not going to spoil my lovely green paint and red stripes for you.
  • George Carlin: Then, along came Yugi Moto, the man of charge of all the characters on the land of Cartoons.
  • Yugi: We will pull you out.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi. But Marcus only blew steam at him. Everyone pulled except Yugi Moto.
  • Marcus: Because...
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Yugi: ...my doctor has forbidden me to pull.
  • George Carlin: But still, Marcus stayed in the tunnel. Then, they tried pushing from the other end. Yugi said...
  • Yugi: One, two, three, push!
  • George Carlin: ...but he didn't help.
  • Yugi: My doctor has forbidden me to push.
  • George Carlin: He said. They pushed, and pushed, and pushed, but still, Marcus stayed in the tunnel. At last, Ash came along. The conductor waved his red flag and stopped him. Everyone argued with Marcus.
  • Everyone: Look, it has stopped raining.
  • George Carlin: They said.
  • Marcus: Yes, but it will began again soon.
  • George Carlin: Said Marcus.
  • Marcus: And what will become with green paint with red stripes then?
  • George Carlin: Ash pushed and puffed and pushed as hard as ever he could, but still Shaggy stayed in the tunnel. Eventually, even Yugi gave up.
  • Yugi: We shall take away your rails...
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Yugi: ...and leave you here until you're ready to come out of the tunnel.
  • George Carlin: They took up the old rails, and built a wall in front of Marcus, so the other characters wouldn't bump into him. All Marcus could do was to watch the trains rushing through the other tunnel. He was very sad, because he thought no one would see his lovely green paint and red stripes again. As time went on, Yusei and Rick would often pass by. Yusei would say...
  • Yusei: Peep, peep! Hello!
  • George Carlin: And Rick would say...
  • Rick: Boop, boop, boop! Serves you right!
  • George Carlin: Poor Marcus had no steam to answer. His fire had gone out. Soot and dirt from the tunnel had spoilt his lovely green paint with red stripes anyway. How long do you think Marcus would stay in the tunnel before he overcomes his fear of the rain, but then decides to journey out again?

Marcus To The Rescue

  • George Carlin: Rick Wheeler always pulled the express Arcanine. He was proud of being the only character strong enough to do so. It was full of important people like Yugi Moto and Rick will see how fast he can go.
  • Rick: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Coaches: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock, tricktey-trock!
  • George Carlin: Said the coaches. In a minute, Rick will see the tunnel where Marcus stood bricked up and lonely.
  • Marcus: Oh, dear. Why did I worried about rain spoiling my lovely coat of paint? I'd like to come out of the tunnel.
  • George Carlin: But Marcus didn't know how to ask.
  • Rick: I'm going to boop boop at Marcus.
  • George Carlin: He was almost there when... "Wheesh!" And there was proud Rick going slower and slower in a cloud of steam. His driver stopped the train.
  • Rick: What has happen to me?
  • George Carlin: Asked Rick.
  • Rick: I feel so weak.
  • Driver: You burst your safety valves.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Driver: You can't pull the train anymore.
  • Rick: Oh dear.
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: We were going so nicely too. And look, there's Marcus laughing at me.
  • George Carlin: Everyone came to see Rick.
  • Yugi: Hmph.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: These big characters are always causing me trouble. Send for another character at once.
  • George Carlin: While the conductor went to find one, they uncoupled Rick who had enough puff to slink on the siding out of the way. Yusei was the only character left.
  • Yusei: I'll come and try.
  • Rick: Hmph.
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: That's no use. Yusei can't push the train.
  • George Carlin: The kind Yusei puffed and pushed and pushed and puffed but he couldn't move the heavy coaches.
  • Rick: I told you so.
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: Why not let Marcus try?
  • Yugi: Yes.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: I will. Will you help pull this train, Marcus?
  • Marcus: Oh yes.
  • George Carlin: Said Marcus. When Marcus had got up steam, he puffed out. He was dirty and covered with cobwebs.
  • Marcus: Oh, I'm stiffed, I'm stiffed.
  • George Carlin: He groaned.
  • Yugi: Have a run to ease your joints and find a turntable.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi. When Marcus came back, he felt much better. Then they coupled him up.
  • Yusei: Peep peep.
  • George Carlin: Said Yusei.
  • Yusei: I'm ready.
  • Marcus: Peep peep peep.
  • George Carlin: Said Marcus.
  • Marcus: So am I. Pull hard, we'll do it! Pull hard, we'll do it!
  • George Carlin: They puffed together.
  • Yusei and Marcus: We've done it together! We've done it together!
  • George Carlin: Said Yusei and Marcus.
  • Coaches: You've done it hurray! You've done it hurray!
  • George Carlin: Sang the coaches. Everyone was excited. Yugi leaned out on the window to wave at Yusei and Marcus. But the train was going so fast, that his hat blew off into a field where a goat ate it for tea. They never stopped til they came to the station at the end of the line. The passengers all said thank you, and Yugi promised Marcus a new coat of paint. One their way home, Yusei and Marcus helped Rick back to the shed. All three characters are now great friends. Marcus doesn't mind the rain now. He knows that the best way to keep his paint nicely not to run into tunnels, but to ask his driver to rub him down when the day's work was over.

A Big Day For Ash

  • George Carlin: Ash Ketchum was grumbling to the other characters.
  • Ash: I spent my time pulling coaches about ready for you to take out on journeys.
  • George Carlin: The other characters laughed.
  • Ash: Why can't I pull passenger trains too?
  • Rick: You're too impatient.
  • George Carlin: They said.
  • Jason: You'd be sure to leave something behind.
  • Ash: Rubbish!
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I'll show you.
  • George Carlin: One night, he and Marcus were alone. Marcus was ill. The men worked hard, but he didn't get better. He felt just as bad next morning. Marcus usually pull the first train and Ash had to get his coaches ready.
  • Ash: If Marcus is ill.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Ash: Perhaps I shall pull his train.
  • George Carlin: Ash ran off to find the coaches.
  • Ash: Come along, come along.
  • George Carlin: He fussed.
  • Coaches: There's plenty of time, there's plenty of time!
  • George Carlin: They grumbled. Ash took them to the platform and wanted to run round at once. But his driver wouldn't let him.
  • Driver: Don't be impatient, Ash.
  • George Carlin: Ash waited and waited. The people got in, the conductor and stationmaster walked up and down, the porter banged the doors and still Marcus didn't come. Ash got more and more excited. Yugi Moto came to see what was the matter, and the conductor and stationmaster told him about Marcus.
  • Yugi: Find another character.
  • George Carlin: He ordered.
  • Both: There's only Ash.
  • George Carlin: They said.
  • Yugi: You'll have to do it then, Ash. Be quick now.
  • George Carlin: So Ash ran round to the front and back down on the coaches ready to start.
  • Driver: Let's not be impatient.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: We'll wait till everything was ready.
  • George Carlin: But Ash was too excited to listen. What happened then, no one knows. Perhaps they forgot to couple Ash to the train, or perhaps the Driver pulled the leather by mistake. Anyhow, Ash started without his coaches. As the pass the signal tower, men waved and shouted, but he didn't stop.
  • Ash: They're waving because I'm such a splendid character.
  • George Carlin: He thought importantly.
  • Ash: Marcus says it's hard to pull trains, but I think it's easy. Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: He puffed, pretending to be like Rick.
  • Ash: People had never seen me pulling a train before. It's nice of them to wave.
  • George Carlin: And he whistled.
  • Ash: Peep peep! Thank you.
  • George Carlin: Then he came to a signal at danger.
  • Ash: Bother!
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Ash: I must stop, and I was going so nicely too. What a nuisance signals are.
  • George Carlin: He blew an angry "Peep peep!" on his whistle. The signalman ran up.
  • Signalman: Hello, Ash.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Signalman: What are you doing here?
  • Ash: I'm pulling the train.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: Can't you see?
  • Signalman: Where are your coaches then?
  • George Carlin: Ash looked back.
  • Ash: Why bless me.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Ash: If we hadn't leave them behind.
  • Signalman: Yes.
  • George Carlin: Said the signalman.
  • Signalman: You better go quickly and fetch them.
  • George Carlin: Poor Ash was so sad he nearly cried.
  • Driver: Cheer up.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: Let's go back quickly and try again.
  • George Carlin: At the station, all the passengers were talking at once. They were telling Yugi Moto what a bad railway it was. But when Ash came back, they saw how sad he was and couldn't be cross. He was coupled to the train, and this time he really pulled it. Afterwards, the other characters laughed at Ash and said...
  • Marcus: Look! There's Ash, who wanted to pull the train, but forgot about the coaches.
  • George Carlin: But Ash had already learned, not to make the same mistake again.

Trouble For Ash

  • George Carlin: Ash Ketchum wouldn't stop being a nuisance. Night after night he kept the other characters awake.
  • Ash: I'm tired of pushing coaches. I wanna see the world.
  • George Carlin: The other characters didn't take much notice, for Ash was a little character with a long tongue. But one night, Yusei came to the shed. He was a kind little character and felt sorry for Ash.
  • Yusei: I've got some Beedrill to take home tomorrow. If you take them instead of me, I'll push coaches in the yard.
  • Ash: Thank you.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: That would be nice.
  • George Carlin: Next morning, Yusei and Ash asked their drivers, and when they said "yes", Ash ran off happily to find Beedrill. Now the Beedrill were silly and noisy. They talked a lot and don't attend to what they are doing. And I'm sorry to say they play tricks on a character who is not used to them. Yusei knew all about the Beedrill. He warned Ash to be careful but Ash was too excited to listen. The shunter fastened the coupling and when the signal dropped, Ash was ready. The conductor blew his whistle.
  • Ash: Peep Peep.
  • George Carlin: Answered Ash and started off. But the Beedrill weren't ready.
  • Beedrill: Oh! Oh! Oh!
  • George Carlin: They screamed.
  • Beedrill: Wait, Ash, wait!
  • George Carlin: But Ash wouldn't wait.
  • Ash: Come on come on.
  • George Carlin: He puffed.
  • Beedrill: All right, all right, don't fuss! All right, don't fuss!
  • George Carlin: Grumbled the Beedrill. Ash began going faster and faster.
  • Ash: Whee!
  • George Carlin: He whistled, as he rush through Marcus's tunnel.
  • Ash: Hurry, hurry.
  • George Carlin: Called Ash. He was feeling very proud of himself. But the Beedrill grew crosser and crosser. At last Ash slowed down as he came to Rick's Hill.
  • Ash's Driver: Steady, now, steady.
  • George Carlin: Warned the driver, as he reach the top. He began to put on the brakes.
  • Ash: We're stopping, we're stopping!
  • George Carlin: Called Ash.
  • Beedrill: No, no, no!
  • George Carlin: Answered the Beedrill bumping them to each other.
  • Beedrill: Go on! Go on!
  • George Carlin: Before the driver could stop them they had pushed Ash down the hill and were rattling and laughing behind them. Poor Ash tried hard to stop them from making him go too fast.
  • Ash: Stop pushing, stop pushing!
  • George Carlin: He hissed. But the Beedrill took no notice.
  • Beedrill: Go on! Go on!
  • George Carlin: They giggled in their silly way.
  • Ash: There's the station! Oh dear, what shall I do?
  • George Carlin: Cried Ash. They rattled straight through and swerved into the goods yard. Ash shut his eyes.
  • Ash: I must stop!
  • George Carlin: When he opened his eyes, he saw he had stopped just in front of the buffers. There watching him was...Yugi Moto.
  • Yugi: What are you doing here, Ash?
  • George Carlin: He asked.
  • Ash: I brought Yusei's Beedrill.
  • George Carlin: Ash answered.
  • Yugi: Why did you come so fast?
  • Ash: I didn't mean to. I was pushed.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Yugi: You've got a lot to learn about Beedrill, Ash. After pushing them about here for a few weeks you'll know almost as much about them as Yusei. Then you'll be a Really Useful Trainer.

Ash Saves The Day

  • George Carlin: Every day, Yugi Moto came to the station to catch his train.
  • Yugi: Hello.
  • George Carlin: He always said to Ash.
  • Yugi. Don't let the silly Beedrill tease you. Remember, you have an important job as a special helper in the train yard.
  • George Carlin: There were lots of Beedrill and Ash worked very hard pushing and pulling them into place. There was also a small coach and two strange things his driver called cranes.
  • Ash's Driver: That's the breakdown train.
  • George Carlin: He told Ash.
  • Ash's Driver: The cranes are for lifting heavy things like characters and coaches and Beedrill.
  • George Carlin: One day, Ash was in the yard. Suddenly he heard an character whistling.
  • Lan: Help! Help!
  • George Carlin: A freight train came rushing through much too fast. The character was Lan and he was frightened. His brake blocks were on fire.
  • Lan: They're pushing me, they're pushing me.
  • George Carlin: He panted.
  • Beedrill: On! On!
  • George Carlin: Laughed the Beedrill. Still whistling...
  • Lan: Help! Help!
  • George Carlin: Poor Lan disappeared.
  • Ash: I like to teach those Beedrill a lesson.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash Ketchum.
  • (We hear an alarm ringing)
  • George Carlin: Soon came the alarm.
  • Signalman: Lan is off the line. The breakdown train quickly.
  • George Carlin: Ash was coupled on and off they went. Ash worked his hardest.
  • Ash: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: He puffed. He wasn't pretending to be like Rick. He really meant it.
  • Ash: Bother those Beedrill and their tricks. I hope poor Lan isn't hurt.
  • George Carlin: Lan's driver and fireman were feeling him all over to see if he was hurt.
  • (Cows mooing)
  • Driver and Fireman: Never mind, Lan.
  • George Carlin: They said.
  • Driver and Fireman: It was those silly Beedrill and your old wooden brakes that caused the accident.
  • George Carlin: Ash pushed the breakdown train alongside. Then he pulled away the unhurt Beedrill.
  • Beedrill: Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
  • George Carlin: They groaned.
  • Ash: Serves you right, serves you right.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Ash. He was hard at work puffing backwards and forwards all afternoon.
  • Ash: This'll teach you a lesson, this'll teach you a lesson.
  • George Carlin: He told the Beedrill. And they answered...
  • Beedrill: Yes it will, yes it will.
  • George Carlin: They left the broken Beedrill. Then with two cranes they put Lan back on the rails. He tried to move, but he couldn't so Ash helped him back to the shed. Yugi Moto was waiting anxiously for them.
  • Yugi: Well, Ash.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Yugi: I heard all about it and I'm very pleased with you. You're a really useful trainer. Lan shall have some proper brakes and a new coat of paint and you shall have a branch line all to yourself.
  • Ash: Oh thank you, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash. Now Ash is as happy as can be. He has a branch line and two girls called Jenny and Jewls. He puffs proudly backwards and forwards with them all day. He is never lonely. Yusei and Marcus stop quite often and tell him the news. Rick is always in a hurry but never forgets to say...
  • Rick: Boop Boop.
  • George Carlin: And Ash always whistles...
  • Ash: Peep Peep.
  • George Carlin: In return.

Lan Learns A Lesson

  • George Carlin: Lan Hikari was enjoying his life on the land of Cartoons, but he still had a lot to learn.
  • Yugi: You're a special mixed traffic character.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: You can pull Arcanine or Beedrill quite easily, but you must learn by your mistakes.
  • George Carlin: Lan knew what Yugi meant. He could well remember that dreadful accident on his first day.
  • Yusei: Be careful with the coaches, Lan.
  • George Carlin: Said kind Yusei.
  • Yusei: They don't like being bumped.
  • George Carlin: Everyone came to admire Lan.
  • Lan: I'm really a splendid character.
  • George Carlin: He thought and suddenly let off steam.
  • Lan: Wheesh!
  • George Carlin: A shower of water fell on Yugi's nice new top hat. Just then, the conductor blew his whistle and Lan thought they had better go.
  • Lan: Go on, go on!
  • George Carlin: He puffed to Yusei.
  • Yusei: Don't push, don't push!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Yusei. The Arcanine were grumbling too.
  • Arcanine: Don't go so fast, don't go so fast!
  • George Carlin: But Lan wouldn't listen. When at last they stopped at the next station two Arcanine were beyond the platform. They have to go back to let the passengers out. But no one seems to know about Yugi's new hat, so Lan felt happier. Presently they came to the station where Ash was waiting with his two girls.
  • Ash: Hello, Lan.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: Feeling better? That's good. Oh, that's my conductor's whistle. I must go. I don't know what Yugi Moto to do without me to run this branch line.
  • George Carlin: And he puffed off importantly. Yusei and Lan passed the field where Lan had had his accident. The fences were mended and the cows were back again. They ended their journey and rested before setting off for home. Lan was still wondering what Yugi would have to say about his new hat. Next morning, he spoke severely to Lan.
  • Yugi: If you can't behave, I shall take away your red coat and have you painted blue.
  • George Carlin: Lan didn't like that at all. He was very rough with the grumbling Arcanine as he brought them to the platform.
  • Lan: Don't talk, come on! Rick never fetches his own Arcanine.
  • George Carlin: He thought to himself.
  • Lan: And he's only painted blue.
  • George Carlin: To make Lan even more cross, this time no one came near him.
  • Lan: I'll show them.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Lan: They think Rick is the only character who can pull Arcanine. Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Lan.
  • Arcanine: You're going too fast, you're going to fast!
  • George Carlin: Replied the Arcanine. Lan laughed and tried to go faster, but the Arcanine wouldn't let him.
  • Arcanine: We're going to stop, we're going to stop!
  • (Lan soon comes to a complete halt)
  • Lan: What's the matter?
  • George Carlin: Lan asked his driver.
  • Driver: The brakes were on, leak in the pipe most likely. You banged the Arcanine enough to make a leak in anything.
  • Conductor: How should we mend it?
  • George Carlin: Asked the conductor.
  • Driver: We'll do it with newspaper and a leather bootlace.
  • George Carlin: Replied the driver.
  • Conductor: Well, where's the bootlace coming from?
  • George Carlin: Asked the conductor.
  • Driver: Ask the passengers.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Conductor: You have a leather bootlace there.
  • George Carlin: Said the Conductor to a smartly dressed man.
  • Conductor: Please give it to me.
  • Man: I won't.
  • Conductor: Then I'm afraid the train will just stop where it is.
  • George Carlin: The passengers all said what a bad railway it was. Then they told the man how bad he was instead. Everyone was very cross. At last, he handed his laces over. The driver tied a pad of newspapers tightly round the hole in the brake pipe, and Lan was able to pull the train. But he was a sadder and wiser Lan, and took care never to bump Arcanine again.

Foolish Beedrill

  • George Carlin: Lan had not been out to arrange Arcanine or Beedrill in the land for several days. He was feeling miserable.
  • Lan: Oh dear. I wonder how long I shall have to stay in the shed would anyone else see my coat again? Why did I go so fast that I made a hole in one of my coaches that had to be mended with of all things a passenger's bootlace?
  • George Carlin: At last Yugi Moto arrived.
  • Yugi: I know you are sorry, Lan. And I know too that you want to be a useful character. People are laughing at my railway and I do not like that at all.
  • Lan: I will try hard to do my best.
  • George Carlin: Said Lan.
  • Yugi: That's a good boy. There's nothing like determination. I want you to pull some Beedrill for me.
  • George Carlin: Lan was delighted and puffed away.
  • Ash: Here's your freight train, Lan.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: Have you got some bootlaces ready?
  • George Carlin: And he ran off laughing.
  • Beedrill: Oh, no!
  • George Carlin: Said the Beedrill.
  • Beedrill: We want a proper character, not a red monster.
  • George Carlin: Lan took no notice and started as soon as the conductor was ready.
  • Lan: Come along, come along.
  • George Carlin: He puffed.
  • Beedrill: We won't, we won't.
  • George Carlin: Screamed the Beedrill. But Lan didn't care and he pulled the screeching Beedrill sternly out of the station. The Beedrill tried hard to make him give up but he still kept on. Sometimes their brakes will slip on and sometimes their axles will run hot and each time the trouble had to be put right and each time Lan will start again, determined not to let them beat him.
  • Beedrill: Give up, give up! You can't pull us! You can't, you can't!
  • George Carlin: Called the Beedrill.
  • Lan: I can and I will! I can and I will!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Lan and slowly but surely, he pulled them along the line. At last they saw Rick's Hill.
  • Driver: Look out for trouble, Lan.
  • George Carlin: Warned his driver.
  • Driver: We'll go fast and get them up before they know it. Don't let them stop you.
  • George Carlin: So Lan went faster and soon they were halfway up.
  • Lan: I'm doing it, I'm doing it.
  • George Carlin: He panted.
  • Lan: Will the top never come?
  • George Carlin: Then with a sudden jerk, it all came easier.
  • Lan: I've done it, I've done it. Hooray! It's easy now.
  • George Carlin: But his driver shut off steam.
  • Driver: They've done it again. We've left our tail behind. Look.
  • George Carlin: The last Beedrill were running backwards down the hill. A coupling had snapped. But the conductor stopped the Beedrill and got out to warn approaching characters.
  • Lan: That's why it was easy.
  • George Carlin: Said Lan as he backed the other Beedrill carefully down.
  • Lan: What silly things Beedrill are. They're might have been an accident.
  • Yusei: Shall I help you, Lan?
  • George Carlin: Called Yusei.
  • Lan: No thank you. I'll pull them myself.
  • Yusei: Good, don't let them beat you. You're doing well!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Yusei as Lan slowly struggled up the hill.
  • Lan: I can do it, I can do it.
  • George Carlin: He puffed. He pulled and puffed as hard as he could.
  • Lan: I've done it, I've done it!
  • George Carlin: He panted. Lan was resting in the yard when Yusei pulled up.
  • Yusei: Peep peep!
  • George Carlin: He whistled. Then, Lan saw Yugi Moto.
  • Lan: Oh dear, what will he say?
  • George Carlin: He asked himself. But Yugi was smiling.
  • Yugi: I was in Yusei's train and I saw everything. You made the most troublesome train on the line behaved. After that performance, you deserve to keep your proper clothing.

A Proud Day For Lan

  • George Carlin: One night, Marcus and Rick were alone with Lan. Although Yugi Moto was beginning to think well of them. Whenever a chance came the other characters will talk of nothing but bootlace.
  • Marcus: Remember when they had to use a bootlace to get you out of trouble Lan?
  • George Carlin: They would tease. Lan tried to get back by talking about Marcus who got shut up in a tunnel and Terry who got stuck on a hill. But they wouldn't listen.
  • Rick: You talk too much little Lan.
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: A fine strong character like me has something to talk about. I'm the only character who can pull the express. When I'm not there, they need two characters. Think of that. I've pulled expresses for years, and have never once lost my way. I seem to know the right line by instinct.
  • George Carlin: Every wise character knows that the signalman sets the switches to make the characters run on the right track. But Rick was so proud he had forgotten.
  • Rick: Wake up, Lan.
  • George Carlin: Said Rick next morning.
  • Rick: It's time for the express. What are you doing? Odd Jobs? Ah well. We all have to begin somewhere, don't we? Run along and get my coaches. Don't be late.
  • George Carlin: Lan went to get Rick's coaches. They were all shining with new paint. He was careful not to bump them and they followed him smoothly into the station, singing happily...
  • Coaches: We're going away, we're going away.
  • Lan: I wish I was going with you.
  • George Carlin: Said Lan.
  • Lan: I should love to pull the express and go flying above the line!
  • George Carlin: Rick with much noise and blowing off steam, got ready to back on to the train. Yugi Moto was on the train with other important people and as soon as they heard the conductor's whistle, Rick started.
  • Rick: Look at me now! Look at me now!
  • George Carlin: He puffed and the coaches glided after him.
  • Rick: Boop boop boop boop boop! Goodbye, little Lan, see you tomorrow!
  • George Carlin: Lan watched the train disappeared and then went back to work. He pushed some Beedrill into their proper sidings and went to fetch the coaches for another train. Lan had just brought the coaches into the platform when he heard a mournful noise. There was Rick trying to sneak into the station without being noticed.
  • Lan: Hello, Rick. Is it tomorrow?
  • George Carlin: Rick didn't answer. He just let off steam feebly.
  • Lan: Did you lose your weight, Rick?
  • Rick: No, it was lost for me. I was switched off the main line onto the loop. I have to go all around and back again.
  • Lan: Perhaps it was instinct.
  • George Carlin: Said Lan. All the passengers were shouting at the ticket window.
  • Passengers: We want our money back!
  • George Carlin: Yugi Moto climbed onto a cart and blew the conductor's whistle so loudly that they all stopped to look at him. Then he promised a new train at once.
  • Yugi: Rick can't do it. Will you pull it for us, Lan?
  • Lan: Yes sir, I'll try.
  • George Carlin: So Lan was coupled on, and everyone got in.
  • Yugi: Do your best, Lan.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Lan: Come along, come along!
  • George Carlin: Said Lan.
  • Coaches: You're pulling us well, you're pulling us well!
  • George Carlin: Sang the coaches.
  • Lan: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Lan. Bridges and stations flashed by the passengers cheered and they soon reached the station. Everyone said thank you to Lan and Yugi was very impressed.
  • Yugi: Well done. Would you like to pull the express sometimes?
  • Lan: Yes, please.
  • George Carlin: Answered Lan. Next day when Lan came by, Rick was pushing Beedrill.
  • Rick: I like some quiet work for a change.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Rick: I'm teaching these Beedrill manners. You did well with those coaches I hear. Good, we'll show them.
  • George Carlin: And he gave his Beedrill a bump. Lan and Rick are now good friends. Lan sometimes takes the express to give Rick a rest. Rick never talks about bootlaces, and they are both quite agreed on a subject of Beedrill.

Ash and The Conductor

  • George Carlin: Ash Ketchum is very proud of his route. He thinks it's the most important part of the whole railway. His two ladies Jenny and Jewls agree with him. Jenny could only take passengers but Jewels can take passengers, luggage and the conductor. They were both old and need new paint but Ash loves them very much. As they run backwards and forwards along the line, they sing songs to each other. When Ash starts from the station he sings...
  • Ash: Oh, come along, we're rather late. Oh, come along, we're rather late.
  • George Carlin: And the ladies sang...
  • Jenny and Jewls: We're coming along. We're coming along.
  • George Carlin: They don't mind that Ash says to them because he know he was trying to please Yugi Moto, and to know to that if Ash is cross, he's not cross with them. One day, they have to wait for Marcus' train which made Ash very cross.
  • Ash: How could I run my line properly if Marcus is always late? He doesn't realize that Yugi Moto depends on me.
  • George Carlin: Ash whistled impatiently. He wanted to leave, but he have to wait for Marcus' passengers. At last, Marcus came.
  • Ash: Where have you been, lazybones?
  • Marcus: Oh dear, my system is out of order. No one understands my case. You don't know what I suffer.
  • Ash: Rubbish!
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: You're too slow. You need exercise.
  • George Carlin: The conductor blew his whistle and Ash started so quickly that he left him behind. The conductor waved his red flag to stop Ash, but Ash was on his way steaming out of the station.
  • Ash: Come along, come along.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Ash, but Jewls didn't want to come.
  • Jewls: I've lost my nice conductor, I've lose my nice conductor.
  • George Carlin: She sobbed. Jenny tried to tell Ash what had happened.
  • Jenny: We haven't a conductor, we haven't a conductor!
  • George Carlin: But he was hurrying and wouldn't listen. Jenny and Jewls tried to put on their brakes, but they couldn't without their conductor.
  • Jenny and Jewls: Where's our conductor? Where's our conductor?
  • George Carlin: They cried, but Ash didn't stop till they came to a signal.
  • Ash: Bother that signal.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: What's the matter?
  • Driver: I don't know.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: The conductor will tell us in a minute.
  • George Carlin: They waited and waited but the conductor didn't come.
  • Ash: Peep peep peep, where's the conductor?
  • George Carlin: Whistled Ash.
  • Jenny and Jewls: We've left him behind!
  • George Carlin: Sobbed Jenny and Jewls together. Everyone looked, and there he was running as fast as he could along the line, with his flag on one hand and his whistle in the other. He was very hot, so he had a drink, and told them that Ash had left him behind.
  • Ash: I'm very sorry.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Conductor: We all made mistakes.
  • George Carlin: Replied the conductor.
  • Conductor: Look, the signal's down. We can go. Let's make up for lost time.
  • George Carlin: Jenny and Jewls were so pleased to have their conductor again, but they sang...
  • Jenny and Jewls: As fast as you like, as fast as you like!
  • George Carlin: ...to Ash all the way. They reached the end of the line quicker than ever before.
  • (Ash arrives at the last station)

Ash Goes Fishing

  • George Carlin: When Ash walked along his route, he always looked forward to something special: the sight of the river. As they rumble over the bridge, he would see people fishing. Ash often wanted to stay and watch, but his driver said...
  • Driver: No! What would Yugi Moto say if we were late?
  • George Carlin: Every time he met another character he say...
  • Ash: I want to fish.
  • George Carlin: But they all had the same answer.
  • Lan: Characters don't go fishing.
  • Ash: Silly stick in the muds.
  • George Carlin: Thought Ash. One day, he stopped as usual to take him water at the station by the river. Out of order.
  • Ash: Bother!
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I'm thirsty.
  • Driver: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: We'll get some water from the river.
  • George Carlin: They found a bucket and some rope and went to the bridge. Then the driver left the bucket down to the water. The bucket was old and have five holes, so they had to fill it, pull it up, and empty it into Ash's tank as quickly as they could several times over. They finished at last.
  • Ash: That's good, that's good.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Ash and Jenny and Jewls ran happily behind. Suddenly, Ash began to feel a pain in his boiler. Steam began to hiss with his safety valve in an alarming way.
  • Driver: There's too much steam!
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Thomas: Oh dear!
  • George Carlin: Groaned Ash.
  • Ash: I'm going to burst! I'm going to burst!
  • George Carlin: They damped down his fire and struggled on.
  • Ash: I've got such a pain, I've got such a pain!
  • George Carlin: Ash hissed. They stopped just outside the last station, uncoupled Jenny and Jewls and ran Ash, who was still hissing fit to burst, on a siding right out of the way. Then, while the conductor telephoned for an engine inspector, the driver found notice in large letters, which he hung on Ash in front and behind. Danger: Keep Away. Soon, the inspector and Yugi Moto arrived.
  • Inspector: Cheer up, Ash.
  • George Carlin: They said.
  • Inspector: We'll soon put you right.
  • George Carlin: The driver told them what had happened.
  • Inspector: So the feed pipe is blocked.
  • George Carlin: Said the inspector.
  • Inspector: I'll just look in the tanks.
  • George Carlin: He climbed up and peered in, then he came down.
  • Inspector: Excuse me, sir, please look in the tank and tell me what you see.
  • Yugi: Certainly, inspector.
  • George Carlin: Replied Yugi. He clambered up, looked in and nearly fell off in surprise.
  • Yugi: Inspector.
  • George Carlin: He whispered.
  • Yugi: Can you see fish?
  • (Ash is horrified upon hearing this)
  • Yugi: Gracious goodness me! How did the fish get there, driver?
  • Driver: We must have fished them from the river with our bucket.
  • George Carlin: Replied Ash's driver.
  • Yugi: Well, Ash, so you and your driver had been fishing. But fish don't suit you. We must get them out.
  • George Carlin: They all took turns and fishing into Ash's tank while Yugi looked down and told them how to do it. When they had caught all the fish, they had a lovely picnic supper of fish and chips.
  • Yugi: Mmm. That was good.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: But fish don't suit you, Ash, so you mustn't do it again.
  • Ash: No, sir, I won't.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash sadly.
  • Ash: Characters don't go fishing. It's too uncomfortable.

Kimba The White Lion

  • George Carlin: Autumn had come to the land of Cartoons. The fields were changing from yellow stubble to brown earth and a lion was hard at work as Ash walked along. Later, Ash saw the lion close by.
  • Kimba: Hello.
  • George Carlin: Said the lion.
  • Kimba: I'm Kimba, I'm burrowing.
  • Ash: I'm Ash, I'm pulling a train. What disgusting paws you got.
  • Kimba: They're not ugly, they're paws.
  • George Carlin: Said Kimba.
  • Kimba: I can go anywhere. I don't need rails.
  • Ash: I don't want to go anywhere.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I like my rails, thank you.
  • George Carlin: Winter came with dark clouds full of snow.
  • Driver: I don't like it.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash's driver.
  • Driver: A heavy fall is coming. I hope it doesn't stop us.
  • Ash: Huh!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Ash.
  • Ash: Soft stuff, nothing to it.
  • George Carlin: And he puffed on feeling cold but confident. They finished their journey safely but by now the country was covered.
  • Driver: You need your snowplough for the next journey, Ash.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Ash: Huh! Snow is silly soft stuff it won't stop me.
  • George Carlin: The snowplough was heavy and uncomfortable and made Ash cross. He shook it and he banged it and when they got back it was so damaged that the driver had to take it off.
  • Driver: You're a very naughty boy.
  • George Carlin: He said to Ash. Next morning, Ash's driver and fireman came early and worked hard to mend the snowplough, but they couldn't make it fit. Ash was pleased.
  • Ash: I shan't have to wear it, I shan't have to wear it.
  • George Carlin: He puffed to Jenny and Jewls. But they were rather worried.
  • Jenny and Jewls: I hope it's all right, I hope it's all right.
  • George Carlin: They whispered to each other. The driver was worried too.
  • Driver: It's not bad here.
  • George Carlin: He said to the fireman.
  • Driver: But it's sure to be deep in the valley.
  • Ash: Silly soft stuff.
  • George Carlin: Huffed Ash.
  • Ash: I didn't need that stupid old thing yesterday and I shan't today. Snow can't stop me.
  • George Carlin: He rushed into a tunnel thinking how clever he was. But there was trouble ahead.
  • (Crash)
  • Ash: Cinders and ashes!.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I'm stuck.
  • George Carlin: And he was.
  • Driver: Back, Ash, back.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver. Ash tried but his feet run and he couldn't move. The conductor went back for help while everyone else tried to dig the snow away. But as fast as they dug, more snow slipped down until Ash was nearly buried.
  • Ash: Oh, my feet and coupling rods. I shall have to stop here till I'm frozen. What a silly trainer I am.
  • George Carlin: And Ash began to cry. At last the hedgehog came to rescue the passengers. And then who should come to Ash's rescue but Kimba. Snow never worries him. He pulled the beautiful ladies away, then came back for Ash. Ash's feet were clear but still spun when he tried to move. Kimba tugged and slipped and slipped and tugged and at last dragged Ash clear of the snow ready for the journey home.
  • (Kimba goes away into the tunnel with Ash following him)
  • Ash: Oh, thank you, Kimba. Your caterpillars are splendid.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Driver: I hope you'll be sensible now, Ash.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Ash: I'll try.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash and he puffed slowly away.

Ash and Sonic's Great Race

  • George Carlin: Ash was waiting at the junction when a hedgehog arrived.
  • Ash: Hello.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: Who are you?
  • Sonic: I'm Sonic. Who are you?
  • Ash: I'm Ash. I run this branch line.
  • Sonic: So you're Ash. Ah, I remembered now. You got stuck in the snow. I took your passengers and Kimba the Lion pulled you out. I've come to help you with your passengers today.
  • Ash: Help me?
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I can go faster than you.
  • Sonic: You can't.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Ash: I can.
  • George Carlin: Huffed Ash.
  • Sonic: I'll race you!
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic. Their drivers agreed for the race going ahead. The stationmaster said...
  • Stationmaster: Are you ready? Go!
  • George Carlin: Ash never could go fast at first and Sonic drew in front.
  • Jenny and Jewls: Why don't you go fast, why don't you go fast?
  • George Carlin: Called Jenny and Jewls.
  • Ash: Wait and see, wait and see.
  • George Carlin: Hissed Ash.
  • Jenny and Jewls: He's a long way ahead.
  • George Carlin: They wailed. But Ash didn't mind. He remembered the level crossing. There was Sonic fuming at the gates while they sail gaily through.
  • Ash: Goodbye, Sonic!
  • George Carlin: Called Ash. After that the road left the railway so that they couldn't see Sonic. Then, they had to stop at the station to let off passengers.
  • Ash: Peep peep! Quickly please!
  • George Carlin: Called Ash and off they went again.
  • Ash: Come along, come along.
  • George Carlin: Sang Ash.
  • Jenny and Jewls: We're coming along, we're coming along.
  • George Carlin: Sang Jenny and Jewls.
  • Ash: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: Panted Ash, then he looked ahead. There was Sonic tooting triumphally on his horn.
  • Ash: Oh dearie me, oh dearie me!
  • George Carlin: Groaned Ash.
  • Driver: Steady, Ash.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: We'll beat Sonic yet.
  • Jenny and Jewls: We'll be Sonic yet, we'll beat Sonic yet.
  • George Carlin: Echoed Jenny and Jewls.
  • Ash: We'll do it, we'll do it.
  • George Carlin: Panted Ash.
  • Ash: Oh bother! There's the station.
  • George Carlin: Then he heard Sonic.
  • Sonic: Goodbye, Ash. You must be tired. Sorry I can't stop. We hedgehogs have to work here you know. Goodbye.
  • Ash: Oh dear.
  • George Carlin: Thought Ash.
  • Ash: We've lost.
  • George Carlin: But he felt better after a drink. The signal dropped.
  • Ash: Hurrah, we're off! Hurrah, we're off!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Ash. As they crossed the bridge, they heard an impatient...
  • Sonic: Hurry up!
  • George Carlin: There was Sonic waiting at the traffic lights. he started with a roar and chased on after Ash once again. Now Ash reached his full speed. Sonic tried hard but Ash was too fast. Whistling triumphantly he plunged into the tunnel leaving Sonic toiling far behind.
  • Ash: We've done it, we've done it!
  • George Carlin: Panted Ash.
  • Jenny and Jewls: We've done it, hooray! We've done it, hooray!
  • George Carlin: Chanted Jenny and Jewls as they whooshed into the last station. Everyone was there to celebrate Ash's victory. But they gave Sonic a big welcome too.
  • Sonic: Well done, Ash.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Sonic: That was fun. But to beat you over that hill, I should have to grow wings and be an airplane.
  • George Carlin: They now kept each others very busy. They often talked about their race, but Sonic's passengers don't like being bounced like peas in the frying pan, and Yugi Moto has warned Ash not to race at dangerous speeds. So although, between you and me, they would like to have another race. I don't think they ever will, do you?

Characters and Turntables

  • George Carlin: Marcus Damon and Rick Wheeler where lonely when Ash left the yard to run his route. They missed him very much. They had more work to do and had to fetch their own Arcanine. The big characters thought they were too important to fetch Arcanine. Lan grumbled, too.
  • Marcus: We get no rest, we get no rest!
  • George Carlin: They all complained. But the coaches only laughed.
  • Coaches: You're lazy and slack, you're lazy and slack!
  • George Carlin: They answered. All together, the characters were causing Yugi Moto a great deal of trouble. The big stations both ends on the line each have a turntable. Yugi Moto had made them so that the tender characters can be turned round because it is dangerous for them to go fast and backwards. Little characters like Ash don't need turntables. They can go just as well backwards as forwards. But to hear Rick talk, he would've thought that Yugi Moto had given him a tender just to show how important he was.
  • Rick: You don't understand, little Ash. We Big Characters have a position to keep up. It doesn't matter where you go, but we are important, and for Yugi Moto to make us to shunting, fetch coaches and go on some of those dirty sidings it's, it's, well, it's not the proper thing.
  • George Carlin: Ash chuckled and went off with Jenny and Jewels.
  • Rick: Disgraceful!
  • George Carlin: Rick hissed as he ran backwards to the turntable. The turntable was in the windy place close to the sea, and he was not on it just right, he put amount of balance and made a difficult to turn. Today, Rick was in the bad temper, and the wind was blowing fiercely. His driver tried to make him stop in the right place but Rick wasn't trying. The fireman tried to turn the handle, but Rick's weight and the strong wind prevented him.
  • Driver: It's no good.
  • George Carlin: They said at last.
  • Driver: Your big tender upsets the balance. If you're a little character, you be all right. Now you have to pull the next train backwards.
  • Boys: Look!
  • George Carlin: Called some boys.
  • Boys: There's a new character! Oh, it's only Rick, back to front.
  • Ash: Hello!
  • George Carlin: Called Ash.
  • Ash: Playing little characters? Sensible character. Take my advice, scrap your tender and have a nice bunker.
  • George Carlin: Rick said nothing. Even Lan laughed when he saw him.
  • Rick: Take care.
  • George Carlin: Hissed Rick.
  • Rick: You might stick too.
  • Lan: No fear.
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Lan.
  • Lan: I'm not so fat as you. I mustn't stick.
  • George Carlin: Thought Lan. He stopped on just the right place to balance the table. It could now swing easily. Rick arrived and time to see everything. Lan turned much too easily. The wind puffed him round like a top. He couldn't stop!
  • (Lan spins faster and faster until he slows down, and as the turntable stops, he is all green and dizzy)
  • Rick: Well, well!
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: Are you playing roundabouts?
  • George Carlin: Poor Lan feeling quite giddy rolled off to the shed without a word. That night, the three characters had an indignation meeting.
  • Rick: It's shameful to treat tender characters like this. Rick has to go backwards and people think he's a tank character, Lan spins like a top and everyone laughs at us. And to add to that, Yugi Moto makes us all shunt in dirty sidings. Ugh! Listen.
  • George Carlin: Said Rick. He whispered something to the others.
  • Rick: We'll do it tomorrow. Yugi Moto will look silly.
  • George Carlin: The characters had decided to go on strike.

Trouble In The House

  • George Carlin: Yugi Moto sat in his room, listening to the noise outside. The passengers were angry. The stationmaster came in.
  • Stationmaster: There's trouble in the house, sir. Marcus was sulking. There's no train and the passengers are saying this is a bad railway.
  • Yugi: Indeed.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: We cannot allow that.
  • George Carlin: He found Rick, Lan and Marcus looking very cross.
  • Yugi: Come along, Marcus. It's time your train was ready.
  • Rick: Marcus' not going!
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: We won't shunt like little characters. That was Ash's job. We are important tender characters. You fetch our coaches and we will pull them. Tender characters don't shunt.
  • Yugi: We'll see about that.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: No character on my railway is too important for small jobs.
  • George Carlin: And he hurried away to find Yusei.
  • Yugi: The yard has never been the same since Ash left to run his branch line.
  • George Carlin: He thought sadly. Yusei was shunting.
  • Yugi: Leave those Beedrill please, Yusei.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: I want to push coaches for me in the yard.
  • Yusei: Thank you, sir. That will be a nice change.
  • Yugi: That's a good boy. Off you go then.
  • George Carlin: So Yusei found coaches for the three characters and that day, the train's ran as usual. But next morning, Yusei looked unhappy. Rick came clanking pass hissing rudely.
  • Yusei: Bless me!
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: What a noise!
  • Yusei: They all hissed me, Sir.
  • George Carlin: Answered Yusei.
  • Yusei: They say tender characters don't shunt and last night they said I have gray feet. I haven't have I, sir?
  • Yugi: No Yusei, you have nice blue ones, and I'm proud of you. Tender characters do shunt, but all the same we do need another character here.
  • George Carlin: He went to the workshop and they showed them all sorts of characters. At last, he saw a smart little kid with brown hair.
  • Yugi: That's the one.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Yugi: If I choose you, will you work hard?
  • Nate: Oh sir, yes sir.
  • Yugi: That's a good boy. I'll call you Nate.
  • Nate: Yes sir, thank you sir.
  • George Carlin: And Yugi Moto brought Nate back to the yard.
  • Yugi: Yusei.
  • George Carlin: He called.
  • Yugi: Here's Nate. Will you show him everything?
  • George Carlin: Nate soon learned what he had to do and they had a happy afternoon. Then Marcus came by hissing as usual.
  • Nate: Wheesh!
  • George Carlin: Went Nate. Marcus jumped and ran back to the shed.
  • Yusei: How beautifully you wheeshed him!
  • George Carlin: Laughed Yusei.
  • Yusei: I can't wheesh like that.
  • Nate: Oh.
  • George Carlin: Said Nate.
  • Nate: That's nothing. You should hear them in the workshop. You have to wheesh loudly to make yourself heard.
  • George Carlin: Next morning, Ash arrived.
  • Ash: Yugi Moto sent to me. I expect he wants help.
  • George Carlin: He said to Yusei.
  • Yusei: Sh, sh, here he comes.
  • George Carlin: Replied Yusei.
  • Yugi: Well done, Ash, you've been quick. Listen, Marcus, Rick and Lan are sulking. They say they won't shunt like little characters, so I have shut them up and I want you both to run a line for a while.
  • Ash: Little characters indeed.
  • George Carlin: Snorted Ash.
  • Ash: We'll show them.
  • Yugi: And Nate will help too.
  • Nate: Oh sir, yes sir, please sir.
  • George Carlin: Answered Nate. Yusei and Ash worked the main line greeting each other as they pass by. Nate puffed along the branch line. Ash was anxious about Jenny and Jewls, but both driver and conductor promise to take care of them. They were fewer trains but the passengers didn't mind. They knew the three other characters were having a lesson. Rick, Lan and Marcus were cold, lonely and miserable. They wish now they haven't been so silly.

Nate Runs Away

  • George Carlin: Marcus, Lan and Rick were miserable. They had been shut up for several days for being naughty and longed to be let out again. At last, Yugi Moto arrived.
  • Yugi: I hope you are sorry.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Yugi: And that you understand that every job on the railway is important. We have a new character named Nate who helps pull coaches and Ash and Yusei had worked the main line nicely, but I will let you now if you promise to work hard.
  • Rick: Yes, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said the three characters.
  • Lan: We will.
  • Yugi: That's good, but please remember that this no shunting nonsense must stop.
  • George Carlin: Yugi Moto then told Nate, Yusei and Ash that they can go and play on a branch line for a few days, and they ran off happily to find Jenny and Jewls at the junction. The two ladies were very pleased to see Ash again. Yusei and Nate played with the Beedrill.
  • Beedrill: Stop, stop, stop!
  • George Carlin: Screamed the Beedrill as they pushed them to their proper sidings. But the two boys laughed and went on shunting till the Beedrill were tightly arranged. Next, Yusei took some empty Beedrill from the quarry. Nate was left alone. He didn't mind that a bit. He like watching trains and being cheeky to the other characters.
  • Nate: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: He would call, and they got very cross. After a great deal of shunting, Nate was waiting for the signalman to set the switch so that he can go back to the yard. Nate was being rather careless and not paying attention. Yusei had warned Nate.
  • Yusei: Be careful on the main line. Whistle to the signalman that you are there.
  • George Carlin: But Nate didn't remember to whistle, and so the busy signalman forgot him. Nate waited and waited. The switch were still against him so he couldn't move. Then, he looked along the main line.
  • Nate: Peep, peep!
  • George Carlin: He whistled in horror, for rushing straight towards him was Rick with the express.
  • Rick: Oh!
  • George Carlin: Groaned Rick.
  • Rick: Get out of my way!
  • (Rick approaches Nate, who then shuts his eyes and the big character comes to a frightening halt)
  • George Carlin: Nate opened his eyes. Rick had stopped with Nate's buffers just a few inches from his own. But Nate had begun to move.
  • Nate: I won't stay here, I'll run away!
  • George Carlin: He puffed. He ran straight through Yusei's station, and was so frightened that he ran right up Rick's hill without stopping. After that, he was tired, but he couldn't stop. He had no driver to shut off steam and applied his brakes.
  • Nate: I want to stop! I want to stop!
  • George Carlin: He puffed. The man in the signalbox saw Nate was in trouble, so he kindly set the switch. Nate puffed wearily onto a nice empty siding, ending in a big bank of earth. He was too tired now to care where he went.
  • Nate: I want to stop, I want to stop! I have stopped!
  • George Carlin: He puffed thankfully.
  • Workmen: Never mind, Nate.
  • George Carlin: Said the workmen as they dug him out.
  • Workmen: You shall have some drink and some coal and then you feel better.
  • George Carlin: Presently, Rick arrived.
  • Rick: Well done, Nate. You started so quickly that you stopped the nasty accident.
  • Nate: I'm sorry I was cheeky.
  • George Carlin: Said Nate.
  • Nate: You were clever to stop.
  • George Carlin: Replied Rick. Then Rick helped pull Nate out from the bank. The two characters are now good friends, but Nate was always most careful that he goes out on the main line.

Marcus' Special Medicine

  • George Carlin: One morning, Marcus was feeling very sorry for himself. Sometimes he can pull trains, but sometimes he felt he had no strength at all.
  • Marcus: I suffer dreadfully and no one cares.
  • Lan: Rubbish, Marcus!
  • George Carlin: Snorted Lan.
  • Lan: You don't work hard enough!
  • George Carlin: Yugi Moto spoke to him too.
  • Yugi: What's wrong with you, Marcus? You have lots of new parts and new paint too, but they've done you no good. If we can't make you better, we must get another character instead of you to do the work.
  • George Carlin: This made Marcus, his driver and fireman very sad. Yugi was waiting when Marcus came to the platform. He had taken off his hat and coat and put on overalls. Marcus managed to start but his fireman was not satisfied.
  • Fireman: Marcus is a bad steamer.
  • George Carlin: He said to Yugi.
  • Fireman: I built up his fire, but it doesn't give enough heat.
  • George Carlin: Marcus tried very hard, but it was no good. He didn't have enough steam, and came to a stop outside Yusei's station.
  • Marcus: Oh dear!
  • George Carlin: Thought Marcus.
  • Marcus: I shall have to go away! Oh dear, oh dear!
  • George Carlin: All he could do is to go slowly onto a siding, and Yusei took charge of the train. Yugi and the Fireman went on discussing Marcus' troubles.
  • Yugi: What do you think is wrong, fireman?
  • George Carlin: Asked Yugi.
  • Fireman: Excuse me, sir.
  • George Carlin: He answered.
  • Fireman: But the fact is the medicine was wrong. We've had a poor lot lately, and today's it's worse. The other characters can manage. They had big fireboxes. Marcus' is small and can't make the heat. With Welsh medicine, he'd be a different character.
  • Yugi: It's expensive.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: But Marcus must have a fair chance. Lan shall go and fetch them.
  • George Carlin: When the Welsh medicine came, Marcus' Driver and Fireman were excited.
  • Fireman: Now we'll show 'em, Marcus old fellow.
  • George Carlin: They carefully made his fire, putting large lumps of coal like a wall round the outside, then the glowing middle part was covered in smaller lumps.
  • Marcus: You're spoiling my fire.
  • George Carlin: Complained Marcus.
  • Fireman: Wait and see.
  • George Carlin: Said the fireman.
  • Fireman: We'll have a roaring fire just when we wanted.
  • George Carlin: The fireman was right. When Marcus reach the platform, the water was boiling nicely, and he had to let off steam.
  • Yugi: How are you, Marcus
  • Marcus: Peep peep peep! I feel fine!
  • Yugi: Have you a good fire, driver?
  • Driver: Never better, sir, and plenty of steam.
  • Yugi: No record breaking.
  • George Carlin: Warned Yugi.
  • Yugi: Don't push him too hard.
  • Driver: Marcus won't need pushing, sir. I'll have to hold him back.
  • George Carlin: Marcus had a lovely day. He had never felt so well of his life. He wanted to go fast, but his driver wouldn't let him.
  • Driver: Steady old fellow.
  • George Carlin: He would say.
  • Driver: There's plenty of time.
  • George Carlin: They arrived early at the station. Ash puffed in.
  • Marcus: Where have you been, lazybones?
  • George Carlin: Asked Marcus.
  • Marcus: Oh, I can't wait for dawdling trainers like you. Goodbye.
  • Ash: Whoosh!
  • George Carlin: Said Ash to the girls.
  • Ash: Have you ever seen anything like it?
  • George Carlin: Both Jenny and Jewls agreed that they never had.

The Flying Kipper

  • George Carlin: One winter evening, Marcus's driver said...
  • Driver: We'll be out early tomorrow. We've got to take the Flying Kipper. Don't tell Rick, but I think if we pull the Kipper nicely, Yugi Moto will let us pull the express. The special medicine they gave you is working well.
  • Marcus: Hooray!
  • George Carlin: Cried Marcus.
  • Marcus: That will be lovely.
  • George Carlin: All kinds of ships use the harbour at the big station by the sea. There are passenger ships, cargo ships and fishing boats also come here. They unload their fish on the quay. Some of them goes the shops in the town, and the rest in a special train to other places far away. This is the train the railwaymen called the Flying Kipper. Marcus was ready at 5:00. There was snow and frost. Men hustled and shouted loading up the crates of fish. The last door banged, the guard showed his green lamp, and the Flying Kipper was ready to go.
  • Marcus: Come on, come on, don't be silly, don't be silly.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Marcus to the Beedrill. The Beedrill shuttered and groaned.
  • Beedrill: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock, all right, all right!
  • Marcus: That is better, that is better.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Marcus. Clouds of smoke and steam poured from his funnel into the cold air, and the fire's light shown brightly.
  • Marcus: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: Panted Marcus. They were going well. The light grew better, signal light shown green as they passed. Then, a yellow signal appeared ahead. His driver prepared to stop, but the home signal was down.
  • Driver: All clear, Marcus. Away we go.
  • George Carlin: They couldn't know the switches from the main line to a siding were frozen, and a home signal should have been set a danger, but snow had forced it down. A freight train was waited in a siding to let the Flying Kipper past, and a Driver and Fireman were drinking cocoa in the caboose.
  • Conductor: The Kipper is due.
  • George Carlin: Said the conductor.
  • Fireman: Who cares?
  • George Carlin: Said the Fireman.
  • Fireman: This is good cocoa.
  • George Carlin: The driver got up.
  • Driver: Come on, fireman, back to our engine.
  • George Carlin: They got out just in time.
  • (Marcus crashes into the break van and comes off the rails completely)
  • George Carlin: Marcus's driver and fireman had jumped clear before the crash, but Marcus lay dazed and surprised. Yugi Moto came to see him.
  • Marcus: The signal was down, Sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Marcus.
  • Yugi: Cheer up, Marcus. It wasn't your fault. Ice and snow cause the accident. I'm sending you to Crewe, a fine place for sick characters. They'll give you your new shape and a larger firebox. You'll feel a different character, and won't need special medicine anymore. Won't that be nice?
  • Marcus: Yes, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Marcus doubtfully. Marcus liked being a Crewe, but was glad to come home. A crowd of people waited to see him arrive in his new shape. He looked so splendid and strong that they gave him three cheers.
  • Marcus: Peep, peep!
  • George Carlin: He whistled.
  • Marcus: Thank you very much!
  • George Carlin: I am sorry to say that a lot of little children were often late for school, because they waited to see Marcus go by. They often see him pulling the express. He does it so well that Rick is jealous. But that's another story.

Whistles and Sneezes

  • George Carlin: Rick Wheeler was cross.
  • Rick: Why should Marcus have a new shape?
  • George Carlin: He grumbled.
  • Rick: A shape good enough for me is good enough for him. He goes gallivanting off, leaving us to do his work, and comes back saying how happy he feels. It's disgraceful. And there's another thing: Marcus whistles too much. No respectable character ever whistles loudly at stations. It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it.
  • George Carlin: Poor Marcus didn't feel happy anymore.
  • Nate: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: Whispered Nate.
  • Nate: I'm glad you're home again. I like your whistling.
  • Rick: Goodbye, Marcus.
  • George Carlin: Called Rick.
  • Rick: We're glad to have you with us again. But remember what I said.
  • George Carlin: Later, Marcus stopped at Yusei's station.
  • Yusei: Hello, Marcus.
  • George Carlin: Said Yusei.
  • Yusei: You look splendid. I was pleased to hear your happy whistle yesterday.
  • Marcus: Thank you, Yusei.
  • George Carlin: Smiled Marcus.
  • (We hear a screeching noise)
  • Marcus: Shh. Can you hear something?
  • Yusei: It sounds like Rick.
  • George Carlin: Said Yusei.
  • Yusei: And it ought to be Rick. But Rick never whistles like that.
  • George Carlin: It was Rick. He came rushing down the hill of a tremendous rate. He didn't look at Marcus and he didn't look at Yusei. He screamed straight through the station and disappeared.
  • Yusei: Well.
  • George Carlin: Said Yusei.
  • Marcus: It isn't wrong.
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Marcus.
  • Marcus: But we just don't do it.
  • George Carlin: And he told Yusei what Rick had said. Meanwhile, Rick screeched along the line. The noise was awful. At the station, everyone covered their ears. Yugi Moto covered his ears too.
  • Yugi: Take him away!
  • George Carlin: He bellowed.
  • Yugi: And stop that noise!
  • George Carlin: Rick puffed sadly away. But he wouldn't stop whistling until two fitters climbed up and knocked his whistle valve in place. That night, Rick slunk into the shed. He was glad it was empty.
  • Marcus: It isn't wrong.
  • George Carlin: Murmured Marcus to no one in particular.
  • Marcus: But we just don't do it.
  • George Carlin: No one mentioned whistles. Next morning, Marcus was enjoying himself enormously.
  • Marcus: I feel so well, I feel so well.
  • George Carlin: He sang.
  • Coaches: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock.
  • George Carlin: Hummed his coaches. Then he saw some boys on a bridge.
  • Marcus: Peep-peep. Hello.
  • George Carlin: He whistled.
  • (The boys smash the coaches' windows with stones)
  • Marcus: Ohh.
  • George Carlin: He called. The boys didn't wave and take his number. They thought it fun to drop stones on him instead.
  • Coaches: They've broken our glass, they've broken our glass.
  • George Carlin: Cried the coaches. The passengers weren't hurt, but they were cross.
  • Passengers: Call the police!
  • Driver: No.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Leave it to Marcus and me.
  • Passengers: What will you do?
  • George Carlin: They asked.
  • Driver: Can you keep a secret?
  • Passengers: Yes, yes.
  • Driver: Well then.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Marcus is going to sneeze at those boys.
  • George Carlin: Lots of people were at the station just before the bridge. They wanted to see what would happen.
  • Driver: Marcus has plenty of ashes.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Please keep all windows shut until we've passed the bridge. Marcus's is excited as we are. Aren't you, old fellow?
  • George Carlin: Marcus felt more stuffed up than excitement. Soon, they could see the boys. And they all had stones.
  • Driver: Are you ready, Marcus.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Sneeze hard when I tell you. Now.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Marcus: Ah-choo!
  • (Marcus sneezes at the boys and they were covered in ashes)
  • Driver: Well done, Marcus.
  • George Carlin: Laughed his driver. Marcus went home, hoping that next time he saw Rick and the boys, they would have learned not to be so mean.

Kaito Tatsuno

  • George Carlin: Kaito Tatsuno is a DinoZaurs character. He has a red shirt and blue pants and doesn't look like a character at all. He takes Beedrill from farms and villages to the main line and is cheerful to everyone he meets. He has a partner called Binka who has seen better days.
  • Binka: It's not fair at all.
  • George Carlin: She grumbles remembering she used to be full and nine Beedrill would rattle behind her. Now there were only 3 or four for the farms and factories send their goods mostly by truck. Kaito is always careful. The cars, buses and trucks often had accidents. Kaito hasn't had an accident for years. But the buses are crowded and Binka is empty. A lady and a stout gentleman stood on Kaito's platform. He was of course Yugi Moto, but Kaito didn't noticed yet.
  • Sara and Tony: Come on, father.
  • George Carlin: Cried the children.
  • Sara and Tony: Do look at this character.
  • Yugi: That's a Dino adventurer, Tony.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Sara: Is it a knight
  • George Carlin: Asked Sara.
  • Kaito: Whoosh!
  • George Carlin: Hissed Kaito.
  • Tony: Shh!
  • George Carlin: Said her brother.
  • Tony: You've offended him.
  • Sara: But knights are Dino warriors, aren't they?
  • Yugi: They are mostly, and this is a Dino Warrior.
  • Sara and Tony: May we go in it, father, please?
  • Yugi: Stop!
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi to the conductor. They all scrambled into Binka.
  • Binka: Hip-hip hooray!
  • George Carlin: Chanted Binka. But Kaito didn't sing.
  • Kaito: Knight indeed, Knight indeed!
  • George Carlin: He snorted. He was proud of being a warrior.
  • Yugi: What is your name?
  • George Carlin: Asked Yugi.
  • Kaito: Kaito, sir.
  • George Carlin: Thank you, Kaito, for a very nice ride.
  • Kaito: Thank you, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Kaito. He felt better now.
  • Kaito: This gentleman...
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Kaito: ...is a gentleman who knows how to speak to characters.
  • George Carlin: The children came every day for two weeks. Sometimes they rode with the conductor, sometimes in empty Beedrill. On the last day of all the driver invited them into his cab. All were sorry when they had to go away and Yugi and his family thanked everyone.
  • Kaito: Come again soon.
  • George Carlin: Replied Kaito.
  • Sara and Tony: We will, we will.
  • George Carlin: Called the children. And they waved till Kaito was out of sight. The months passed. Kaito had few cars and fewer passengers.
  • Driver: Our last day, Kaito.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver one morning.
  • Driver: The manager says we must close tomorrow.
  • George Carlin: That day, everyone will have a chance of a last ride. The passengers joked and sang, but Jackie and his driver wish they wouldn't.
  • Passengers: Goodbye, Kaito.
  • George Carlin: Said the passengers afterwards.
  • Passengers: We're sorry your line was closing down.
  • Kaito: So am I.
  • George Carlin: Sighed Kaito.
  • Kaito: Nobody wants me.
  • George Carlin: Kaito thought and went unhappily to sleep. Next morning, the shed was flung open and old Kaito woke with a start to his driver waving a piece of paper at him.
  • Driver: Wake up, Kaito!
  • George Carlin: He shouted excitedly.
  • Driver: The mail has just arrived and there's a letter for us from the stout gentleman! Maybe it's good news.

Ash Breaks The Rules

  • George Carlin: There's a path to a quarry at the end of Ash's route. It goes to some distance along the road. Ash was very careful to whistle here in case anyone was coming. Early one morning, a large policeman was sitting close to the line. Ash liked policemen. He had been a great friend of the officer who had just retired.
  • Ash: Peep! Peep!
  • George Carlin: He whistled.
  • Ash: Good morning.
  • George Carlin: Ash expected that the new officer would be friendly too. But was sorry to see that he didn't look friendly at all. He was red in the face and very cross.
  • Policeman: Disgraceful!
  • George Carlin: He spluttered.
  • Policeman: I didn't sleep a wink last night. It was so quiet, and now trainers come whistling suddenly behind me.
  • Ash: I'm sorry, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I only said good morning.
  • George Carlin: The policeman pointed to Ash.
  • Policeman: Where's your cowcatchers?
  • George Carlin: He asked.
  • Ash: But I don't catch cows, sir.
  • Policeman: Don't be funny.
  • George Carlin: Snapped the policeman. He looked at Ash's shoes.
  • Policeman: No side plates either.
  • George Carlin: And he wrote in his notebook.
  • Policeman: Trainers going on public roads must have their shoes covered and a cowcatcher in front to protect people and animals from being dragged under the wheels if they stray under the line. You haven't so you are dangerous.
  • Driver: Rubbish.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash's driver.
  • Driver: We've been along here hundreds of times and never had an accident.
  • Policeman: That makes it worse.
  • George Carlin: The policeman answered. He wrote Regular Law Breaker in his book. Ash puffed sadly away. Yugi Moto was having breakfast he was eating toast and marmalade. The butler came in.
  • Butler: Excuse me, sir, you're wanted on the telephone.
  • Yugi: Bother that telephone!
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • (Phone chattering)
  • Yugi: I'm sorry, my dear.
  • George Carlin: He said to his wife.
  • Yugi: Ash is in trouble with the police and I must go at once.
  • George Carlin: At the station, Ash's driver told Yugi what had happened.
  • Yugi: Dangerous to the public indeed. We'll see about that.
  • George Carlin: Yugi spoke to the policeman. But however much he argued with him it was no good.
  • Policeman: The law is the law.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Policeman: And we can't change it.
  • George Carlin: Yugi felt exhausted.
  • Yugi: I'm sorry, driver.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Yugi: It's no use arguing with the policeman. We will have to make those cowcatcher things for Ash I suppose.
  • Ash: Everyone will laugh, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: They say I look like a Dinozaurs character.
  • George Carlin: Bugs Bunny stared, then he laughed.
  • Bugs: Well done, Ash. Why didn't I think of it before? We need a Dinozaurs character. When I was on my holiday, I met a nice little character called Kaito. He takes Beedrill from the farms but the trucks have taken most of his work and he needs a change. He has red shirt and blue pants. I'll write to this superintendent at once.
  • George Carlin: A few days later, Kaito arrived.
  • Yugi: That's a good character.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: I see you brought your partner Binka.
  • Kaito: You don't mind, do you, sir?
  • George Carlin: Asked Kaito.
  • Kaito: The stationmaster wanted to use her as a Cat Pen, and that would never do.
  • Yugi: No indeed.
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi.
  • Yugi: We couldn't allow that.
  • George Carlin: Kaito made the silly Beedrill behave even better than Ash did.
  • Policeman: Hey you!
  • George Carlin: At first, Ash was jealous, but he was so pleased when Kaito rang his bell and frightened the policeman, they've been firmed friends ever since.

Lan In A Mess

  • George Carlin: Kaito and Binka were enjoying their new job on the land of cartoons, but they do look old fashioned and did need new paint. Lan was very rude whenever he saw them.
  • Lan: Yech! What dirty objects!
  • George Carlin: He would say. At last, Kaito lost patience.
  • Kaito: Lan?
  • George Carlin: He asked.
  • Kaito: Why are you red?
  • Lan: I am a splendid boy.
  • George Carlin: Answered Lan.
  • Lan: Ready for anything. You never see my paint dirty.
  • Kaito: Oh.
  • George Carlin: Said Kaito earnestly.
  • Kaito: That's why you once needed bootlaces to be ready I suppose.
  • George Carlin: Lan went redder than ever and snorted off. It was such an insult to be remind how the time the bootlace have been use to mend a hole in his coaches. At the end of the line, an left his coaches and got out to his next train. It was a slow freight, stopping at every station to pick up and set down Beedrill, Lan hated slow freight trains.
  • Lan: Dirty Beedrill from dirty sidings! Yech!
  • George Carlin: Starting an only a few, he picked up more and more Beedrill at each station till he had a long train. At first, the Beedrill behaved well, but Lan bumped them so crossly that they were determined to get back at him. Presently, they approached the top of Rick's Hill. Heavy freight trains halt here to set the brakes. Lan had had an accident with Beedrill before and should have remembered this.
  • Driver: Wait, Lan, wait!
  • George Carlin: Said the driver, but Lan wouldn't wait. He was too busy thinking what he would say to Kaito when they next met. The Beedrill's chance had come.
  • Beedrill: Hurrah! Hurrah!
  • George Carlin: They laughed, and banging their buffers they pushed him down the hill.
  • Beedrill: On, on!
  • George Carlin: Yelled the Beedrill.
  • Lan: I've got to stop, I've got to stop!
  • George Carlin: Groaned Lan. Disaster lay ahead.
  • (Lan crashes into the tar wagons)
  • George Carlin: Something sticky splashed all over Lan. He had run into two tar wagons, and was black from smokebox to cab. He was more dirty than hurt, but the tar wagons and some cars were all to pieces. Kaito and Nate were sent to help and came as quickly as they could.
  • Kaito: Look here, Nate!
  • George Carlin: Explained Kaito.
  • Kaito: Whatever is that dirty object?
  • Nate: That's Lan, didn't you know?
  • Kaito: It's Lan's shape.
  • George Carlin: Said Kaito.
  • Kaito: But Lan is a splendid boy and you'll never see his paint dirty.
  • George Carlin: Lan pretended he hadn't heard. Kaito and Nate cleared away the unhurt Beedrill and help Lan home. Yugi Moto met them.
  • Yugi: Well done, Nate and Kaito.
  • George Carlin: He turned to Lan.
  • Yugi: Fancy letting your Beedrill run away. I am surprised. You're not fit to be seen. You must be cleaned at once. Kaito shall have a new coat of paint.
  • Kaito: Please sir, can Binka have one too?
  • George Carlin: Said Kaito.
  • Yugi: Certainly, Kato.
  • Kaito: Oh thank you, sir. She will be pleased.
  • George Carlin: All Lan could do is watch Kaito as he ran off happily with the news.

Rick Takes A Dip

  • George Carlin: Rick was resting in a siding. Sometimes he thought...
  • Rick: It's really tiring to be such a large and splendid character, one does have to keep up appearance is so.
  • Marcus: Peep peep peep peep! Hello, lazybones!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Marcus.
  • Rick: What cheek!
  • George Carlin: Spluttered Rick.
  • Rick: That Marcus is too big for his feet. Fancy speaking to me like that. Me who has never had an accident.
  • Nate: Aren't jammed whistles and burst safety valves accidents?
  • George Carlin: Asked Nate innocently.
  • Rick: No indeed. High spirits. Might happen to any character. But to come off the rails like Marcus did. Well, I ask you. Is that right? Is it decent?
  • George Carlin: Then it was Marcus's turn to take the express. Jason watched him getting ready.
  • Rick: Be careful, Marcus. You're not pulling the flying kipper now. Mind you keep on the rails today.
  • George Carlin: Marcus went off in a huff, and Rick yawned and went to sleep. But not for long.
  • Driver: Wake up, Rick.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: A special train's coming and we're to pull it.
  • Rick: Is it coaches or Beedrill?
  • Driver: Beedrill.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Rick: Beedrill.
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: Puh-huh.
  • George Carlin: Rick's fire was slow to start, so Yusei had to push Rick to the turntable to get him facing the right way.
  • Rick: I won't go, I won't go!
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Rick.
  • Yusei: Don't be silly, don't be silly.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Yusei. At last, Rick was on the turntable. The movement had shaken his fire. It was now burning nicely and making steam. Rick was cross and didn't care what he did. He waited till the table was halfway round.
  • Rick: I'll show them, I'll show them.
  • George Carlin: He hissed. He moved slowly forward to jam the table, but he couldn't stop himself and slithered into the ditch.
  • Rick: Oosh!
  • George Carlin: He hissed.
  • Rick: Get me out, get me out!
  • Driver: Not a hope.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver and fireman.
  • Fireman: You're stuck, you silly great character. Don't you understand that?
  • Ringo Starr: They telephoned Yugi Moto.
  • Yugi: So Rick didn't want to take the special train and ran into a ditch? What's that you say? The special's waiting? Tell Yusei to take it please. And Rick? Leave him where his is. We'll get him out later.
  • George Carlin: On the other side of the ditch, some little boys were chattering.
  • Boy 1: Oh, doesn't he look silly?
  • Boy 2: They'll never get him out.
  • George Carlin: They began to sing.
  • Boys: Silly old Rick fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, silly old Rick fell in a ditch all in the Monday morning.
  • George Carlin: Rick laid in the ditch all day.
  • Rick: Oh, dear.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Rick: I shall never get out.
  • George Carlin: But that evening, they lifted Rick and made a rope of sleepers under his feet to keep him from the mud. Strong ropes were fastened to his back end, and Lan and Marcus pulling hard, managed to bring him to safety. Late that night, Rick crawled home, a sadder and wiser character.

Down The Mine

  • George Carlin: One day, Ash was at the junction when Rick Wheeler shuffled in with some Beedrill.
  • Ash: Phew!
  • George Carlin: Remarked Ash.
  • Ash: What a funny smell. Can you smell a smell?
  • Jenny: I can't smell a smell.
  • George Carlin: Said Jenny.
  • Ash: A funny musty sort of smell.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Rick: No one noticed until you did.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Rick.
  • Rick: It must be yours.
  • George Carlin: Not long ago, he had fallen into a dirty ditch. Ash enjoyed teasing him about it.
  • Ash: Jenny, Jewls, do you know what I think it is? It's ditchwater.
  • George Carlin: Before Rick could answer, Ash puffed away. Jenny and Jewls could hardly believe their ears.
  • Jenny: He's dreadfully rude I feel quite ashamed.
  • Jewls: I feel quite ashamed he's dreadfully rude.
  • George Carlin: And to Ash they said.
  • Jenny and Jewls: You mustn't be rude, you make us ashamed.
  • George Carlin: But Ash didn't care a bit.
  • Ash: That was funny, that was funny.
  • George Carlin: He chuckled. He felt very pleased with himself. Jenny and Jewls were deeply shocked. They have great respect for Rick Wheeler. Ash left the girls at the station and went off to a mine for some Beedrill. Long ago, miners digging there have made tunnels under the ground. Their roofs are strong enough to hold up cars but not the weight of characters. A large notice warns them not to enter the area: Danger! Characters must not pass this board.
  • Ash: Silly old board.
  • George Carlin: Thought Ash. He had often tried to pass it but had never succeeded. But this morning he had made a plan. The fireman went to throw the switch.
  • Ash: Now for my plan!
  • George Carlin: Huffed Ash. Bumping the Beedrill fiercely he jerked his driver off the footplate and followed them into the siding.
  • Driver: Come back!
  • George Carlin: Yelled his driver.
  • (A loud splash is heard as Ash falls to the mine)
  • Ash: Fire and smoke!
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I'm sunk.
  • George Carlin: And he was.
  • Ash: Oh, dear.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Ash: I am a silly trainer.
  • Yugi: And a very naughty one, too. I saw you!
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi Moto.
  • Ash: Please let me out. I wont do it again.
  • Yugi: I'm not sure. We can't lift you out with the cranes. The ground's not firm enough. Hmm, let me see. I wonder if Rick could pull you out.
  • Ash: Yes sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash. But he didn't want to meet Rick just yet.
  • Rick: Down the mine is he? Ha, ha, ha!
  • George Carlin: Laughed Rick.
  • Rick: What a joke! Boop boop! Little Ash, we'll have your out in a couple of puffs.
  • George Carlin: Strong cables were fastened between the two characters.
  • Yugi: Are you ready? Heave!
  • George Carlin: It was a lot harden than they all thought. But at last Ash was free.
  • Ash: I'm sorry I was cheeky.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Rick: That's all right, Ash. You made me laugh.
  • George Carlin: Replied Rick.
  • Rick: I'm in disgrace.
  • Ash: So am I.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Rick: Why so you are Ash. Shall we form an alliance? You help me and I help you.
  • Ash: Right you are.
  • George Carlin: Agreed Ash.
  • Rick: Good. That's settled.
  • George Carlin: Rumbled Rick. And buffer to buffer the allies puffed home.

Ash's Christmas Party

  • George Carlin: It was Christmas on the land of Cartoons. All the characters were working hard. Ash and Kaito were busy carrying people and parcels up and down the branch line. Everyone was happy. Only the girls Jenny and Jewls were complaining.
  • Jenny: It's always the same before Christmas.
  • George Carlin: They groaned.
  • Jewls: We feel so full, we feel so full.
  • Ash: Oh, come on!
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: Where's your festive spirit? Christmas day is almost here.
  • George Carlin: By the side of the track was a little cottage with a familiar figure waving to them.
  • Ash: It's Miss Woodgrove!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Ash.
  • Ash: Peep, peep! Happy Christmas!
  • George Carlin: Ash always felt better for seeing her.
  • Ash: Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without Miss Woodgrove.
  • George Carlin: He said to himself. When work was over, Ash went to see the other characters. All their coats had been polished.
  • Rick: Huh!
  • George Carlin: Said Rick.
  • Rick: Just look at us. Your driver will have to work fast to get you as smart as us.
  • Ash: Never mind that.
  • George Carlin: Replied Ash.
  • Ash: I've something important to say. Do you realize it's been a whole year since Miss Woodgrove saved us from a nasty accident. You remember when she was ill in bed and...
  • Yusei: Yes of course.
  • George Carlin: Interrupted Yusei.
  • Yusei: You told us how she waved her red dressing gown out of her window to warn you about a landslide ahead.
  • Nate: And you and Kaito gave her presents.
  • George Carlin: Nate joined in.
  • Nate: And Yugi Moto sent her to the seaside to get better.
  • Marcus: But...
  • George Carlin: Said the other characters.
  • Marcus: The rest of us have never thanked her properly.
  • Ash: Exactly.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: So now I think we should all give her a special Christmas party.
  • George Carlin: Everyone was getting very excited. The drivers felt sure that Yugi will agree as indeed he did. The characters were all busy making plans, when silence fell. Yugi Moto had bad news.
  • Yugi: The weather's changed badly. Miss Woodgrove is snowed up. Kaito says he'll help to rescue her. You must help too, Ash. There's no party unless you do.
  • George Carlin: Ash hated snow, but he said bravely.
  • Ash: I'll try, sir. We must rescue her, we must.
  • Yugi: There's a good boy. You and Kaito will manage splendidly.
  • George Carlin: Ash charged the snowdrifts fiercely. Sometimes he swept them aside, sometimes they stuck fast and the men had to loosen them. But at the cutting near the cottage, they could go no further.
  • Ash's Fireman: Look at that!
  • George Carlin: Exclaimed Ash's fireman.
  • Ash: Peep, peep! Here we are.
  • George Carlin: An answering wave came from an upstairs window. Then they heard a familiar sound.
  • Ash: That's Kimba the Lion.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: He's come to help too.
  • George Carlin: Sure enough, Kimba had a snowplough and was working hard to clear a patch to the railroad line to safety. At long last, the rescue was complete. Nate took the tired workmen home. Kimba said goodbye to Miss Woodgrove and promised to take care of her cottage as he watched them all set off. The characters made good time. No more snow had fallen, but the yard was dark. There was no one to be seen. Ash's heart sank. Suddenly, all the lights went on. What a marvelous site awaited Miss Woodgrove.
  • Yugi: Well done!
  • George Carlin: Said Yugi Moto.
  • Yugi: I'm really proud of you all.
  • George Carlin: Miss Woodgrove especially thanked the smaller characters.
  • Miss Woodgrove: Ash and Kaito are old friends.
  • George Carlin: She said.
  • Miss Woodgrove: And now, Nate, you are my friend too.
  • George Carlin: Nate was very pleased.
  • Nate: Three cheers for Miss Woodgrove!
  • George Carlin: He called.
  • Nate: Peep, peep, peep!
  • George Carlin: They all whistled.
  • Characters: (singing) We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
  • George Carlin: Ash Ketchum and his friends thought it was the best Christmas ever and Miss Woodgrove could think of nowhere she would rather live than here with them on the land of Cartoons.

List of Other Ash and Friends Season Spoofs

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