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Ash and His Friends' YTV Stories is an Ash & Friends spoof to Thomas and His Friends' Sodor Stories. It is composed of one Season 1 episode and nine Season 2 episodes narrated by George Carlin for the US.

Cast

  1. Ash Ketchum as Thomas (Veronica Taylor)
  2. Kevin Keene as Edward (Matt Hill)
  3. Shaggy Rogers as Henry (Matthew Lillard)
  4. Terry McGinnis as Gordon (Will Friedle)
  5. Raimundo Pedrosa as James (Tom Kenny)
  6. Alexander "Alex" O'Connell as Percy (Chris Marquette)
  7. Jackie Chan as Toby (James Sie)
  8. Virgil Hawkins as Duck (Phil LaMarr)
  9. Ozzy Jones as Donald (Phil LaMarr)
  10. Drix Koldriliff as Douglas (Jeff Bennett)
  11. Bumpty The Penguin as Bill (Lainie Fraiser)
  12. Raphael The Raven as Ben (Phil LaMarr)
  13. Donkey Kong as BoCo (Richard Yearwood)
  14. Lexi Bunny as Daisy (Jessica DiCicco)
  15. Sonic The Hedgehog as Bertie (Jason Griffith)
  16. Bailey as Annie (Carol Jacobanis)
  17. Marina as Clarabel (Lisa Ortiz)
  18. Princess Kitana as Henrietta (Cree Summer)
  19. Beedrill as Troublesome Trucks
  20. Elmer Fudd as The Spiteful Break Van (Billy West)
  21. Steven Ketchum as Sir Topham Hatt (Dan Green)

Episodes

  1. Yelling and Sneezes
  2. Sonic's Chase
  3. Alex and The Traffic Light
  4. Ozzy and Drix
  5. The Deputation
  6. Lexi Bunny
  7. Alex's Predicament
  8. The Kongsel
  9. Wrong Road
  10. Kevin's Exploit

Transcript

Yelling and Sneezes

  • George Carlin: Terry was cross.
  • Terry: Why should Shaggy have a new shape?
  • George Carlin: He grumbled.
  • Terry: A shape good enough for me is good enough for him. He goes gallivanting off, leaving us to do his work, and comes back saying how happy he feels. It's disgraceful. And there's another thing: Shaggy whistles too much. No respectable character ever whistles loudly at stations. It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it.
  • George Carlin: Poor Shaggy didn't feel happy anymore.
  • Alex: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: Whispered Alex.
  • Alex: I'm glad you're home again. I like your whistling.
  • Terry: Goodbye, Shaggy.
  • George Carlin: Called Terry.
  • Terry: We're glad to have you with us again. But remember what I said.
  • George Carlin: Later, Shaggy stopped at Kevin's station.
  • Kevin: Hello, Shaggy.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin: You look splendid. I was pleased to hear your happy whistle yesterday.
  • Shaggy: Thank you, Kevin.
  • George Carlin: Smiled Shaggy.
  • (We hear a screeching noise)
  • Shaggy: Shh, shh. Can you hear something?
  • Kevin: It sounds like Terry.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin: And it ought to be Terry. But Terry never whistles like that.
  • George Carlin: It was Terry. He came rushing down the hill of a tremendous rate. He didn't look at Shaggy and he didn't look at Kevin. He screamed straight through the station and disappeared.
  • Kevin: Well.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Shaggy: It isn't wrong.
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Shaggy.
  • Shaggy: But we just don't do it.
  • George Carlin: And he told Kevin what Terry had said. Meanwhile, Terry screeched along the line. The noise was awful. At the station, everyone covered their ears. Steven covered his ears too.
  • Steven: Take him away!
  • George Carlin: He bellowed.
  • Steven: And stop that noise!
  • George Carlin: Terry puffed sadly away. But he wouldn't stop whistling until two fitters climbed up and knocked his whistle valve in place. That night, Terry slunked into the shed. He was glad it was empty.
  • Shaggy: It isn't wrong.
  • George Carlin: Murmured Shaggy to no one in particular.
  • Shaggy: But we just don't do it.
  • George Carlin: No one mentioned whistles. Next morning, Shaggy was enjoying himself enormously.
  • Shaggy: I feel so well, I feel so well.
  • George Carlin: He sang.
  • Coaches: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock.
  • George Carlin: Hummed his coaches. Then he saw some boys on a bridge.
  • Shaggy: Peep-peep. Hello.
  • George Carlin: He whistled.
  • (The boys smash the coaches' windows with stones)
  • Shaggy: Ohh.
  • George Carlin: He called. The boys didn't wave and take his number. They thought it fun to drop stones on him instead.
  • Coaches: They've broken our glass, they've broken our glass.
  • George Carlin: Cried the coaches. The passengers weren't hurt, but they were cross.
  • Passengers: Call the police!
  • Shaggy's Driver: No.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Shaggy's Driver: Leave it to Shaggy and me.
  • Passengers: What will you do?
  • George Carlin: They asked.
  • Passengers: Can you keep a secret?
  • Shaggy: Yes, yes.
  • Shaggy's Driver: Well then.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Shaggy's Driver: Shaggy is going to sneeze at those boys.
  • George Carlin: Lots of people were at the station just before the bridge. They wanted to see what would happen.
  • Shaggy's Driver: Shaggy has plenty of ashes.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Shaggy's Driver: Please keep all windows shut until we haved passed the bridge. Shaggy's is excited as we are. Aren't you, old fellow?
  • George Carlin: Shaggy felt more stuffed up than excitement. Soon, they could see the boys. And they all had stones.
  • Shaggy's Driver: Are you ready, Shaggy.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Shaggy's Driver: Sneeze hard when I tell you. Now.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Shaggy: Ah-choo!
  • (Shaggy sneezes at the boys and they were covered in ashes)
  • Shaggy's Driver: Well done, Shaggy.
  • George Carlin: Laughed his driver. Shaggy went home, hoping that next time he saw Terry and the boys, they would have learned not to be so mean.

Sonic's Chase

  • George Carlin: One morning, Kevin was waiting to pick up passengers from Ash Ketchum.
  • Kevin: Peep peep! We're late! Where is Ash? He doesn't usually make us wait.
  • Fireman: Oh dear, what can the matter be?
  • George Carlin: Sanged the fireman.
  • Fireman: Johnny's so longer...
  • Driver: Never you mind abot Johnny.
  • George Carlin: Laughed the driver.
  • Driver: Just you climb on the cab and look for Ash. Can you see him?
  • Fireman: No.
  • George Carlin: Replied the fireman.
  • Fireman: There's Sonic the Hedgehog in the terriying hurry. No need to bother with him though. Likely, he's on the coach tour of something.
  • George Carlin: He clambered down.
  • Sonic: Stop, stop! I've got Ash's passengers!
  • George Carlin: Wailed Sonic, roaring up to the gates. It was no good. Kevin was gone.
  • Sonic: Bother.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Sonic: Bother Ash's fireman not coming to work today. Why did I promise to help the visitors catch the train?
  • Driver: That will do, Sonic.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: A promise is a promise and we must keep it.
  • Sonic: I'll catch Kevin or bust.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Sonic: Oh, my gears and axles!
  • George Carlin: He groaned, toiling up the hill.
  • Sonic: I'll never be the same bus again. Hooray, hooray! I see him!
  • George Carlin: Cheered Sonic as he reached the top.
  • Sonic: Oh, no! Kevin's at the station! No, he stopped at the crossing. Hooray, hooray!
  • George Carlin: Sonic toured down the hill.
  • Passengers: Well done, Sonic!
  • George Carlin: Shouted his passengers.
  • Passengers: Go it!
  • George Carlin: Sonic skitted into the yard.
  • Sonic: Wait, wait!
  • George Carlin: Cried Sonic. He was just in time to see Kevin puffed away.
  • Sonic: I'm sorry.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Passengers: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: Said the passengers.
  • Passengers: After him quickly. Third time lucky you know. Do you think we'll catch em at the next station, driver?
  • Driver: There's a good chance.
  • George Carlin: Replied his driver.
  • Driver: Our road keeps close to the line and we can climb hills better than Kevin. I'll just make sure.
  • George Carlin: He spoke to the stationmaster. Sonic and the passengers waited impatiently.
  • Driver: Yes! We'll do it this time.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Passengers: Hooray!
  • George Carlin: Called the passengers, as Sonic chased after Kevin once more.
  • Pets: This hill is too steep, this hill is too steep!
  • George Carlin: Grumbled the pets as Kevin snorted in front. They reach the top at last and ran smoothly into the station.
  • Kevin: Peep!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Kevin.
  • Kevin: Get in quickly please.
  • George Carlin: The conductor blew the whistle and Kevin's driver looked back. But the flag didn't wave, Then he heard Sonic. Everything seem to happy at once, and the stationmaster told the conductor and driver what had happened.
  • Kevin: I'm sorry about the chase, Sonic.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Sonic: My fault.
  • George Carlin: Replied Sonic.
  • Sonic: Late at junction. You didn't know about Ash's passengers.
  • Kevin: Peep peep! Goodbye, Sonic! We're off!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Kevin.
  • Passengers: Three cheers for Sonic!
  • George Carlin: Called the passengers. Sonic raced back to tell Ash that all was well.
  • Ash: Thank you, Sonic, for keeping your promise.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: You're a very good friend indeed.

Alex and The Traffic Light

  • George Carlin: Alex works in the hallways at the Cartoon University. He loves playing jokes, but they can get him into trouble. One morning, he was very cheeky indeed.
  • Alex: Peep peep! Hurry up, Terry, the train's ready.
  • George Carlin: Terry thought he was late.
  • Alex: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
  • George Carlin: Laughed Alex and showed him a train of dirty Beedrill. Terry thought how he can pay Alex back for teasing him. Next it was Raimundo's turn.
  • Alex: Stay in the shed today, Raimundo. Steven will come and see you.
  • Raimundo: Ah!
  • George Carlin: Thought Raimundo.
  • Raimundo: Steven knows I'm a fine boy. He wants me to pull the special train.
  • George Carlin: Raimundo's driver and fireman could not make him move. The other characters grumbled dreadfully. They had to do Raimundo's work as well as their own. At last, the inspector arrived.
  • Inspector: Show a wheel, Raimundo. You can't stay here all day.
  • Raimundo: Steven told me to stay here. He sent a message this morning.
  • Inspector: He did not. How could he? He's away for a week.
  • Raimundo: Oh.
  • George Carlin: Said Raimundo.
  • Raimundo: Oh. Where's Alex?
  • George Carlin: Alex had wisely disappeared. When Steven came back, he was cross with Raimundo and Alex for causing so much trouble. But the very next day, Alex was still being cheeky.
  • Alex: I say, you characters, I'm to take some Beedrill to Ash's junction. Steven chose me specialy. He must know I'm a really useful kid.
  • Raimundo: More likely, he wants you out of the way.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Raimundo. Terry looked across to Raimundo. They were going to play a trick on Alex.
  • Terry: Raimundo and I were just speaking about traffic lights at the junction. We can't be too careful about traffic lights, but then I needn't say that to a really useful kid like you, Alex.
  • George Carlin: Alex felt flattered.
  • Raimundo: We've had spoken about backing traffic lights.
  • George Carlin: Put in Raimundo.
  • Raimundo: They need extra special care you know. Would you like me to explain?
  • Alex: No thank you, Raimundo.
  • George Carlin: Said Alex.
  • Alex: I know all about signals.
  • George Carlin: Alex was a little worried.
  • Alex: I wonder what backing traffic lights are.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Alex: Never mind, I'll manage.
  • George Carlin: He puffed crossly to his Beedrill and felt better. He came to a traffic light.
  • Alex: Bother, it's a danger.
  • George Carlin: The traffic light moved to show line cleared. It's arm moved up instead of down. Alex had never been that sort of signal before.
  • Alex: Down means go and up means stop. So upper still must mean go back. I know. It's one of those backing traffic lights.
  • Driver: Come on, Alex.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: Off we go. Stop! You're going the wrong way!
  • Alex: But it's a backing traffic light.
  • George Carlin: Alex protested and told him about Terry and Raimundo. The driver laughed and explained.
  • Alex: Oh, dear.
  • George Carlin: Said Alex.
  • Alex: Let's start quickly before they see us.
  • George Carlin: He was too late. Terry saw everything. That night, the big characters talked about signals. They thought the subject was funny. Alex thought they were being very silly.

Ozzy and Drix

  • George Carlin: Ozzy and Drix are cells, and have arrived from the City of Hector to help Steven, but only one character had been expected. The cells meant well, but did cause confusion. Steven had given them numbers, Ozzy 9 and Drix 10, but he was still planning to send one character home. There was Elmer Fudd in the yard that had taken a dislike to Drix. Things always went wrong when he had to take it out. His trains were late and he was blamed. Drix began to worry. Ozzy, his friend, was angry.
  • Ozzy: You're a muckle nuisance!
  • George Carlin: Said Ozzy.
  • Ozzy: It's to leave you behind I'd be wanting.
  • Elmer: You can't!
  • George Carlin: Said Elmer Fudd.
  • Elmer: I'm essential!
  • Ozzy: Och are you?
  • George Carlin: Ozzy burst out.
  • Ozzy: You're nothing but a screeching and a noise when all set is done. Spite Drix, would ya? Take that!
  • Elmer: Ow! Ooh!
  • George Carlin: Cried Elmer.
  • Ozzy: There's more coming should you misbehave.
  • George Carlin: Elmer behave better after that. Until one day, Ozzy had an accident. The rails were slippery. He couldn't stop in time.
  • (Ozzy crashes into the signal box)
  • George Carlin: Ozzy wasn't hurt, but Steven was most annyoed.
  • Steven: I am disappointed, Ozzy. I didn't expect such, er, clumsiness from you. I had decided to send Drix back and keep you.
  • Ozzy: I'm sorry, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Ozzy.
  • Steven: I should think so, too. You have upset my arrangements. Now Raimundo will have to help you with the goods work, while you have your tender mended. Raimundo won't like that.
  • George Carlin: Steven was right. Raimundo grumbled dreadfully about extra work.
  • Drix: Anyone would think.
  • George Carlin: Said Drix.
  • Drix: That Ozzy had had his accident on purpose. I heard tell about a character and some tar wagons.
  • Raimundo: Shut up!
  • George Carlin: Said Raimundo.
  • Raimundo: It's not funny.
  • George Carlin: He didn't like to be remind about his own accident.
  • Drix: Well, well, well! Surely, Raimundo, it wasn't you. You didn't say.
  • George Carlin: Raimundo didn't say. He slouched sulkily away.
  • Elmer: Raimundo is cross!
  • George Carlin: Sniggered Elmer Fudd.
  • Elmer: We'll try to make him crosser still!
  • Beedrill: Hold back!
  • George Carlin: Giggled the Beedrill to each other. Raimundo did his best, but he was exhausted when they reached Kevin's station. Luckily, Drix was there.
  • Raimundo: Help me up the hill, please!
  • George Carlin: Panted Raimundo.
  • Raimundo: These Beedrill are playing tricks.
  • Drix: We'll show them.
  • George Carlin: Said Drix. Slowly but surely, the snorting characters forced the Beedrill up the hill. But Raimundo was losing steam.
  • Raimundo: I can't do it, I can't do it!
  • Drix: Leave it to me!
  • George Carlin: Shouted Drix. The conductor was anxious.
  • Conductor: Go steady! Elmer's breaking!
  • (Drix smashes Elmer to bits)
  • George Carlin: Elmer was in pieces. No one had been hurt, and soon Kevin came to clear the mess. Steven was board.
  • Steven: I might have known it would be Drix.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Kevin: Drix was grand, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin: Raimundo had no steam left, but Drix worked hard enough for three. I heard him from my yard.
  • Steven: Two would have been enough.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven.
  • Steven: I want to be fair, Drix, but I don't know. I really don't know.
  • George Carlin: Steven was making up his mind about which character to send away, but that's another story.

The Deputation

  • George Carlin: Snow came early to the land of YTV. It was heavier than usual. Most characters hate snow. Ozzy and Drix were used to it. Couple back to back with the van between their tenders and the snowplough in their fronts, they set to work. They puffed backwards and forward patrolling the line. Generally, the snow slipped away fiercely, but sometimes they found deeper drifts. Presently, they came to a drift which was larger than most. They charged it, and were just backing for another try when...
  • Shaggy: Help, help!
  • Drix: Losh shakes, Ozzy! It's Shaggy! Don't worry yourself, Shaggy! Wait a while! We'll help you out!
  • George Carlin: Shaggy was very grateful. He saw all was not well. The cells were looking glum. They told him Steven was making a decision.
  • Ozzy: He'll send us away for sure.
  • Alex: It's a shame.
  • George Carlin: Said Alex.
  • Terry: A lot of nonsense about a broken signalbox.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Terry.
  • Raimundo: That Elmer Fudd too.
  • George Carlin: Put in Raimundo.
  • Raimundo: Good riddance. That's what I say.
  • Shaggy: The cells were splendid in the snow.
  • George Carlin: Added Shaggy.
  • Shaggy: It isn't fair.
  • George Carlin: They all agreed that something must be done, but none knew what. Alex decided to talk to Kevin about it.
  • Kevin: What you need...
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin: ...is a deputation.
  • George Carlin: He explained what that was. Alex ran back quickly.
  • Alex: Kevin says we need a depostation.
  • Terry: Of course.
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Terry: The question is...
  • Shaggy: What is a desperation?
  • George Carlin: Asked Shaggy.
  • Alex: It's when characters tell Steven something's wrong.
  • George Carlin: Said Alex.
  • Virgil: Did you say tell Steven?
  • George Carlin: Asked Virgil thoughtfully. There was a long silence.
  • Terry: I purpose.
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Terry: That Alex be our...um...disputation.
  • Alex: Me?!
  • George Carlin: Squeaked Alex.
  • Alex: I can't!
  • Shaggy: Rubbish, Alex.
  • George Carlin: Said Shaggy.
  • Shaggy: It's easy.
  • Terry: That's settled then.
  • George Carlin: Said Terry. Poor Alex wished it wasn't.
  • Steven: Hello, Alex. It's nice to be back.
  • George Carlin: Alex jumped.
  • Alex: Uh, yes sir, please sir.
  • Steven: You look nervous, Alex. What's the matter?
  • Alex: Please, sir, they made me a desperation, sir, to speak to you sir. I don't like it, sir.
  • George Carlin: Steven pondered.
  • Steven: Do you mean a deputation, Alex?
  • Alex: Yes sir, please sir. It's Ozzy and Drix. They say, sir, that if you send them away, sir, well, they'll be turned to scrap, sir. That would be dreadful, sir. Please, sir, don't send them away.
  • Steven: Thank you, Alex. That will do.
  • George Carlin: Later, Steven spoke to the characters.
  • Steven: I had a deputation. I understand your feelings and I give a lot of thought to the matter.
  • George Carlin: He paused impressively.
  • Steven: Ozzy and Drix, I hear that your work in the snow was good. You shall have a new coat of paint.
  • George Carlin: The cells were surprised.
  • Ozzy: Thank you, sir.
  • Steven: But your names will be painted on you. We'll have no more mistakes.
  • Drix: Thank you, sir. Uh, does this mean that the both of us?
  • George Carlin: Steven smiled.
  • Steven: It means...
  • George Carlin: But the rest of his speech was drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles. The cells were here to stay.

Lexi Bunny

  • George Carlin: Alex and Jackie were worried. Ash's recent accident had caused a great deal of trouble, and Steven was waiting for them with important news.
  • Steven: Here is Lexi Bunny, who has come to help while Ash is...indisposed.
  • Alex: Please, sir, will she go when Ash comes back, sir?
  • Steven: That depends.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven.
  • Steven: Meanwhile, however long she stays, I hope you will both make her welcome and comfortable.
  • Jackie: Yes, sir, we'll try, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said the characters.
  • Steven: Good. Run along now and show her the shed. She will want a rest after her journey.
  • George Carlin: Lexi was not easy to pleased. She shuddered at the engine shed.
  • Lexi: This is dreadfully smelly. I'm highly sprung, and anything smelly is bad for my swerves.
  • George Carlin: Next, they tried the carriage shed.
  • Lexi: This is better.
  • George Carlin: Said Lexi.
  • Lexi: But whatever is that rubbish?
  • George Carlin: The rubbish turned out to be Bailey, Marina and Kitana who were most offended.
  • Bailey, Marina and Kitana: We won't stay here to be insulted.
  • George Carlin: They fumed. Alex and Jackie had to take them away and spend half the night soothing their hurt feelings. The characters woke next morning feeling exhausted. Lexi, on the other hand, felt bright and cheerful.
  • Lexi: Oooh! Oooh!
  • George Carlin: She tooted, as she came out of the yard and back to the station.
  • Lexi: Look at me.
  • George Carlin: She purred to the passengers.
  • Lexi: I'm the latest bunny, highly sprung and right up to date. You won't want Ash's bumpy old Suzy and Pietra now.
  • George Carlin: The passengers waited for Lexi to start, but she didn't. She saw that the milk van was about to be coupled to her and was most indigment.
  • Lexi: Do they except me to pull that?
  • Lexi's Driver: Surely.
  • George Carlin: Said her driver.
  • Lexi's Driver: You can pull one van.
  • Lexi: I won't.
  • George Carlin: Said Lexi.
  • Lexi: Alex can do it. He loves messing about with Beedrill.
  • George Carlin: She began to shudder violently.
  • Lexi's Driver: Nonsense.
  • George Carlin: Said her driver.
  • Lexi's Driver: Come on now, back down.
  • George Carlin: Lexi lurched backwards. She was so cross that she blew a fuse.
  • Lexi: Told you.
  • George Carlin: She said and stopped. Everyone argued with her but it was no use.
  • Lexi: It's fitter's orders.
  • George Carlin: She said.
  • Passengers: What is?
  • Lexi: My fitter's a very nice man. He comes every week and exames me carefully. Lexi, he says, never never pull. You're highly sprung and pulling is bad for your swerves. So that's how it is.
  • George Carlin: Finished Lexi.
  • Stationmaster: Stuff and nonsense.
  • George Carlin: Said the stationmaster.
  • Shunter: I can't understand.
  • George Carlin: Said the shunter.
  • Shunter: Whatever made Steven send us such a feeble...
  • Lexi: Feeble? Feeble?!
  • George Carlin: Spluttered Lexi.
  • Lexi: Let me...
  • Passengers: Stop arguing!
  • George Carlin: Grumbled the passengers.
  • Passengers: We're late already.
  • George Carlin: So they uncoupled the van, and Lexi purred away feeling very pleased with herself. She can now enjoyed her journey.
  • Lexi: That's a good story.
  • George Carlin: She chuckled.
  • Lexi: I'll do just what work I choose, and no more.
  • George Carlin: But she said it to herself.

Alex's Predicament

  • George Carlin: Lexi Bunny's work in the countryside was full of surprises. But she was frightened of bulls and cows and she remained very lazy and stubborn. One day, Jackie brought Kitana to the Cartoon University where Alex was grumpily sorting.
  • Jackie: Hello, Alex. I see Lexi's left the milk behind again.
  • Alex: I had to make a special journey within I suppose. Anyone would think I've nothing to do.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Alex.
  • Jackie: Tell you what.
  • George Carlin: Replied Jackie.
  • Jackie: I'll take the milk, you fetch my Beedrill.
  • George Carlin: Their drivers and stationmaster agreed. Alex had never been to the quarry before. He began ordering the Beedrill about.
  • Alex: Hurry along.
  • George Carlin: He said. The Beedrill grumbled to each other.
  • Beedrill: This is Jackie's place! Alex's got no right to poke his head in here and push us around.
  • George Carlin: They whispered and pass the word.
  • Beedrill: Pay Alex back! Pay Alex back!
  • Alex: Come along.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Alex.
  • Alex: No nonsense.
  • Beedrill: We'll give him nonsense.
  • George Carlin: Giggled the Beedrill. But they followed so quietly that Alex thought they were under control. Suddenly, they saw a notice ahead: All Trains Stop To Pin Down Brakes.
  • Alex: Peep peep! Brakes, Conductor, please!
  • George Carlin: But before he could check them the Beedrill surged ahead.
  • Beedrill: On! On!
  • George Carlin: They cried.
  • Alex: Help! Help!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Alex. The man on duty at the crossing rushed to warn traffic with his red flag but was too late to switch Alex to the runaway sidings. Frantically trying to grip the rails Alex slid into the yard.
  • Alex: Peep! Peep! Look out!
  • (Alex crashed into the break van)
  • George Carlin: The break van was in smithereens. Alex's driver and fireman had jumped clear but Alex was stranded. Next day, Steven arrived. Jackie and Lexi had helped to clear the wreckage but Alex remained on his perch of Beedrill.
  • Steven: We must now try.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven.
  • Steven: To run a branch line with Jackie and a bunny. You have put us in an awkward predicament, Alex.
  • Alex: I am sorry, sir.
  • Steven: You must stay here till we are ready.
  • George Carlin: Continued Steven.
  • Steven: And you really must be more careful with Beedrill.
  • George Carlin: Alex sighed. The Beedrill groaned beneath his feet. He quite understood about awkward predicaments. Steven spoke severly to Lexi too.
  • Steven: My characters work hard. I send lazy characters away.
  • George Carlin: Lexi was ashamed.
  • Steven: However, Jackie says you worked hard after Alex's accident, so you shall have another chance.
  • Lexi: Thank you, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Lexi.
  • Lexi: I will work hard. Jackie says he'll help me.
  • Steven: Excellent. What Jackie doesn't know about branch line problems isn't worth knowing. But our Jackie's an experienced character.
  • George Carlin: Next day, Ash came back, and Alex was sent to be mended. Bailey and Marina were delighted to see Ash again and he took them to a run at once. All were now friends, and Jackie has taught Lexi a great deal. She shooed a cow the other day all by herself. That show's you, doesn't it?

The Kongsel

  • George Carlin: Bumpty and Raphael are a pair of birds. Each has four feet and tiny chimney and dome and a small squat cab. Their Beedrill are filled with China Clay. It is needed for pottery, paper, paint and many other things. The animals were now kept busy pulling the Beedrill for characters on the main line and for ships in the harbour. One morning, they arranged some Beedrill and went away for more. They returned to find them all gone. The animals were most surprised. Their drivers examine the patch of oil.
  • Driver: That's kongsel.
  • George Carlin: They said.
  • Bumpty: It's a what'll?
  • George Carlin: Asked Bumpty.
  • Raphael: A kongsel, I think.
  • George Carlin: Replied Raphael.
  • Raphael: There's a notice about them in our shed.
  • Bumpty: Coughs and sneezles spread kongsels.
  • Raphael: You had a cough in your smokebox yesterday. It's your fault the monkeysel came.
  • Bumpty: It isn't!
  • Raphael: It is!
  • Drivers: Stop arguing, you two.
  • George Carlin: Laughed their drivers.
  • Drivers: Let's go and rescue our Beedrill.
  • George Carlin: Bumpty and Raphael were horrified.
  • Bumpty: But the kongsel will magic us away like the Beedrill.
  • Drivers: He won't magic us.
  • George Carlin: Replied their drivers.
  • Drivers: We're more likely magic him. Listen, he doesn't know you're animals. So we'll take away your names and numbers and then this is what we'll do.
  • George Carlin: Puffing hard, the animals set off on their journey to find the monkey. They were looking forward to playing tricks on him. Creeping into the yard, they found the kong on a siding with missing Beedrill. Raphael hid behind, but Bumpty went bodly alongside. The kong looked up.
  • Donkey Kong: Do you mind?
  • Bumpty: Yes.
  • George Carlin: Said Bumpty.
  • Bumpty: I do. I want my Beedrill please.
  • Donkey Kong: These are mine.
  • George Carlin: Said the kong.
  • Donkey Kong: Go away.
  • George Carlin: Bumpty pretended not to be frightened.
  • Bumpty: You're a big bully.
  • George Carlin: He whimpered.
  • Bumpty: You'll be sorry.
  • George Carlin: He ran back and hid behind the Beedrill on the other side. Raphael now came forward.
  • Raphael: Beedrill stealer!
  • George Carlin: Hissed Raphael. He ran away too. Bumpty took his place. This went on and on till the kong's eyes nearly popped out.
  • Donkey Kong: Stop! You're making me giddy.
  • George Carlin: The two birds gazed at him.
  • Donkey Kong: Are there two of you?
  • Bumpty: Yes, we're birds.
  • Donkey Kong: I might have known it.
  • George Carlin: Just then, Kevin bustled up.
  • Kevin: Bumpty and Raphael, why are you playing here?
  • Bumpty: We're not playing.
  • George Carlin: Protested Bumpty.
  • Raphael: We're rescuing our Beedrill.
  • George Carlin: Squeaked Raphael.
  • Raphael: Even you don't take our Beedrill without asking, but this kongsel did.
  • Kevin: There's no cause to be rude.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin severly.
  • Kevin: This kong is a Metropolitan Vickers, kong electric type 2.
  • George Carlin: The birds were most impressed.
  • Bumpty: We're sorry, mister...er...
  • Donkey Kong: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: The kong smiled.
  • Donkey Kong: Call me Donkey Kong. I'm sorry I didn't understand about the Beedrill.
  • Kevin: That's all right then.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin: Now off you go, Bumpty and Raphael. Fetch Donkey Kong's Beedrill, then you take this lot. There's no real harm in them.
  • George Carlin: He said to Donkey Kong.
  • Kevin: But they're mattening at times.
  • George Carlin: Donkey Kong chuckled.
  • Donkey Kong: Mattening...
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Donkey Kong: ...is the word.

Wrong Road

  • George Carlin: Ash's route is important and so is Kevin's. But their tracks and bridges are not so strong as those on the main line. Steven does not allow the heavier main line engines like Terry to run on them. But one day, the way Terry was talking, he would have tought Steven had given this order for quite another reason.
  • Terry: It's not fair!
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Terry.
  • Kevin: What isn't fair?
  • George Carlin: Asked Kevin.
  • Terry: Letting branch line diesels pull main line trains.
  • Kevin: Never mind, Terry. I'm sure Donkey Kong will let you pull his Beedrill sometimes.
  • George Carlin: Terry spluttered.
  • Terry: I wont pull Donkey Kong's dirty Beedrill. I wont run on branch lines.
  • Kevin: Why not it will be a nice change.
  • Terry: Steven would never approve.
  • George Carlin: Huffed Terry.
  • Terry: Branch lines are vulgar.
  • George Carlin: Terry puffed away. Kevin chuckled and followed him to the station. Every evening the two characters pulled two fast trains from the station. Terry always leaves first with an express for the main line. Kevin follows five minutes later with his train for the branch line. Usually everything runs like clockwork. But tonight there was trouble. A Lady in a green floppy hat was saying goodbye to a friend. It was nearly time for Terry to start. The fireman looked back towards the conductor's van and saw something green waving.
  • Fireman: Right away, mate!
  • George Carlin: He thought the conductor had waved his flag. Terry started. Leaving luggage, his passengers and the conductor all standing on the platform. Everyone was very surprised and cross. To make matters worse, by the time Terry had been stopped and brought back, Kevin was already late with his train. So now, he set off first. But the signalman at the junction wasn't told about the change. By mistake, he sent Kevin along the main line. Terry was sent along the branch and arrived cold and cross on one of the sidings near the harbour. Next morning, Bumpty and Raphael peeped into the yard. There were no Beedrill for them but they didn't mind that. Teasing Terry will be much better fun.
  • Bumpty: What's that?
  • George Carlin: Asked Bumpty.
  • Raphael: Sheesh!
  • George Carlin: Whispered Raphael.
  • Raphael: It's Terry.
  • Bumpty: It looks like Terry, but it can't be. Terry never comes on the branch lines. He thinks they're vulgar.
  • George Carlin: Terry pretended he hadn't heard.
  • Raphael: If it isn't Terry.
  • George Carlin: Said Raphael.
  • Raphael: It's just a pile of Old Iron.
  • Bumpty: Which we better take it to the scrapyard.
  • Raphael: No Bumpty, this blocks used for scrap we'll take it to the harbour and dump it in the sea.
  • George Carlin: Terry was alarmed.
  • Terry: I am Terry. Stop, stop!
  • George Carlin: When Donkey Kong suddenly arrived, Terry thought him the most beautiful sight he had ever been.
  • Terry: Donkey Kong, my dear character, save me.
  • George Carlin: Donkey Kong quickly sized up the situation and threathened to take away the Beedrill he had brought for Bumpty and Raphael. This made the twin behave at once. Terry thought Donkey Kong was wonderful.
  • Terry: Those little demons. How do you do it?
  • Donkey Kong: Ah well.
  • George Carlin: Said Donkey Kong.
  • Donkey Kong: It's just a knack.
  • George Carlin: Terry still believed that Donkey Kong saved his life. But he knows the twins were only teasing. Don't we?

Kevin's Exploit

  • George Carlin: Sonic the Hedgehog was giving some visitors a tour of the land of YTV. It was their last afternoon, and Kevin was preparing to take them to meet Bumpty and Raphael. He found it hard to start the heavy train.
  • Shaggy: Did you see him straining?
  • George Carlin: Asked Shaggy.
  • Raimundo: Positively painful.
  • George Carlin: Remarked Raimundo.
  • Terry: Just pathetic.
  • George Carlin: Grunted Terry.
  • Terry: He should give up and be preserved before it's too late.
  • Virgil: Shut up!
  • George Carlin: Burst out Virgil.
  • Virgil: You're all jealous. Kevin's better than any of you.
  • Donkey Kong: You're right, Virgil.
  • George Carlin: Said Donkey Kong.
  • Donkey Kong: Kevin's old, but he'll surprised us all.
  • Kevin: I've done it, we're off! I've done it, we're off!
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin, as he finally puffed out of the station. Bumpty and Raphael were delighted to see the visitors. They loved being photographed. Later, they take the party to the China Clay Works in the break van special. Everyone have a splendid time, and the visitors were most impressed. Then, Kevin took the visitors home. On the way, the weather changed. Wind and rain buffered in Kevin. His sanding gear failed, and his fireman rode in front dropping sand on the rails by hand. Suddenly, Kevin's feet slipped fiercely and with a shrieking crack, something broke. The crew inspected the damage. Repairs took some time.
  • Driver: One of your crank pins broke, Kevin.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: We've taken your side rods off. Now you're like an old fashioned man. Can you get these people home? They must start back tonight?
  • Kevin: I'll try, sir.
  • George Carlin: Promised Kevin. Kevin puffed and pulled his hardest. But his feet kept slipping, and he couldn't start the heavy train. The passengers were anxious. The driver, fireman and conductor went along the train, making adjustments between the coaches.
  • Driver: We've loosened the couplings, Kevin. Now you can pick up your coaches one by one, just as you do with Beedrill.
  • Kevin: That'll be much easier.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin: Come on!
  • George Carlin: He puffed, and moved cautiously forward. The first coach moving help to start the second and the second help the third.
  • Kevin: I've done it, I've done it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Kevin.
  • Driver: Steady, boy.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: Well done, boy! You've got them, you've got them!
  • George Carlin: And he listened happily to Kevin's steady beat, as he forced slowly but surely ahead. At last, battered, wearly, but unbeaten, Kevin steamed in. Shaggy was waiting for the visitors with the special train.
  • Kevin: Peep peep!
  • George Carlin: Steven angrily pointed to the clock, but excited passengers cheered and thanked Kevin, his driver and fireman. Virgil and Donkey Kong saw to it that Kevin was left in peace. Terry and Raimundo remain respectfully silent.

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