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Barney's BJ VS. Bowser (script)

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(we open up and see Barney going in the school to find his book about friends)

  • Barney: (to viewer(s)) Hi, everybody! It's nice to see you again. I am finding my book about friends. (finds book) Oh, here it is. (turns to the first page) Here's a rhyme that I like from this one. Friends are forever, they are friendly, so they are smart. (hears Baby Bop's whistle) Did you know what sounded like? That sounded like Baby Bop. It's coming from outside. (Baby Bop enters)
  • Baby Bop: Hi, Barney. Watch ya' doing?
  • Barney: I was reading the book about friends.
  • Baby Bop: A book about friends? Cool! (they hear BJ's whistle)
  • Barney: That sounded like BJ too!
  • BJ: Hi everybody!
  • Barney & Baby Bop: Hi, BJ!
  • Barney: What are you doing?
  • BJ: I was the first one to be able to get sausage patties.
  • Baby Bop: You are the first one to get sausage patties?! Cool!
  • Barney: That's right, Baby Bop.
  • BJ: Say, I've got them from King Bowser Koopa!
  • Barney: King Bowser Koopa?!
  • BJ: Yep, I've got them from Bowser. (music for I Love Sausage Patties starts) The shapes for patties are circles. One kind of them is a sausage patty. It looks different from the other kinds. And they are really made from sausages. I Love Sausage Patties, they taste yummy. They are really great, they are good. I Love Sausage Patties, they are really cool. I would cook them in a grill. I would flip them around. Until they're all done. I would eat one of them. I Love Sausage Patties, they taste yummy. They are really great, they are good. I Love Sausage Patties, they are really cool. I would fall in love with one. I will go and marry it. It would be my wife. It would be my honey. I Love Sausage Patties, they taste yummy. They are really great, they are good. I Love Sausage Patties, they are really cool. I Love Sausage Patties, they taste yummy. They are really great, they are good. I Love Sausage Patties, they are really cool. (music ends) See, guys. I would eat them once I get them from Bowser.
  • Barney: That was great, BJ.
  • BJ: I would go now.
  • Baby Bop: That's exellent, BJ!
  • BJ: Yeah, Sissy, I would be careful.
  • Barney: Yes, you will.
  • BJ: I will try. I would go to Bowser's castle. I'll see ya later.
  • Barney: Take care, now.
  • (scene fades to BJ walking on the sand to Bowser's castle. Cut to three Bowsers at Bowser's castle)
  • Bowser: And so I told him, I said "Here. I'll sell you my sausage patties for only ten bucks." And this moron buys them! [the other two Bowsers laugh]
  • Red Bowser: Aw man! (BJ makes up his way to the Bowsers)
  • Bowser: Speak of the devil! What did you want?
  • BJ: Bowser, only ten dollars please.
  • Bowser: Uh, uh, I don't make returns.
  • BJ: Give me ten dollars.
  • Bowser: (furious) NO! I WON'T!! NOW, GET OUT!! (throws BJ out of the castle)
  • BJ: Woah! (lands on the sand on his knees)
  • Bowser: AND STAY OUT OF HERE!!
  • BJ: (gets up on his knees, covered in sand) Aw, yi-yi-yi! Ouch, my head...(puts his hat back on) I'm gonna get my revenge on you, Bowser. (stands up and brushes the sand off his knees, sneakers, arms and tummy) I'll show you that I will have revenge!
  • (cut to Bowser still on the castle. He hears knocking. It is BJ and Bowser opens the door)
  • BJ: Haha. I'm here to ruin your life and win!
  • Bowser: Get out!
  • BJ: No, I was just going to ruin your life and win.
  • Bowser: OUT!!
  • BJ: Sorry, Bowser. But I was going to ruin your life.
  • Bowser: I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!!
  • BJ: (furious) I'm gonna get that meanie! Hahaah.
  • (fade to Barney and Baby Bop outside the school)
  • Barney: BJ is a really cool friend.
  • Baby Bop: Yeah, Barney.
  • Barney: So, I should join him and Bowser on a chili carnival.
  • Baby Bop: Yeah.
  • Barney: That would be stu-u-pendous! It would be lots of fun,
  • (fade to BJ outside Bowser's castle. Black Bowser arrives with a box)
  • BJ: Hi, Black Bowser. Did you bring sausage patties?
  • Black Bowser: This should be for BJ, or Bowser. (leaves)
  • (BJ opens the box and we see a shock on his face. It was a molded sausage patty)
  • BJ: GWAAAAAAAAAAAAH! A molded sausage patty?! Ugh! I am gonna get that meanie!
  • (fade to BJ going for a walk)
  • BJ: I'm going for a walk. I'm going for a walk. I'm- (he spots Bowser) Hey, Bowser. What are you doing?
  • Bowser: I am on the sidewalk.
  • BJ: Haha. I'm here to ruin your life and win, ha ha!
  • Bowser: We must do This Little Piggy.
  • BJ: All right. (music for This Little Piggy starts as BJ gets on his knees to act like little piggy)
  • Bowser: This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed at home. This little piggy had roast beef. This little piggy had none. This little piggy went "wee wee wee" all the way home. (music ends)
  • BJ: That was cool.
  • Bowser: Good.

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