• Commander Alex Hopper as Eric Cartman
  • Commander Stone Hopper as Kenny McCormick
  • Cora Raikes as Wendy Testaburger
  • Samantha "Sam" Shane as Carol McCormick
  • Captain Nagata as Stan Marsh
  • Cal Zapata as Kyle Broflovski
  • Admiral Terrance Shane as Satan
  • The U.S. Secretary of Defense as Jesus Christ
  • Walter "Beast" Lynch as Randy Marsh
  • Lieutenant Colonel Mick Canales as Mr. Mackey
  • Dr. Nogrady as Craig Tucker
  • Jimmy "Ordy" Ord as Chef
  • Chief Engineer Hiroki as Terrance

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