- Commander Alex Hopper as Eric Cartman
- Commander Stone Hopper as Kenny McCormick
- Cora Raikes as Wendy Testaburger
- Samantha "Sam" Shane as Carol McCormick
- Captain Nagata as Stan Marsh
- Cal Zapata as Kyle Broflovski
- Admiral Terrance Shane as Satan
- The U.S. Secretary of Defense as Jesus Christ
- Walter "Beast" Lynch as Randy Marsh
- Lieutenant Colonel Mick Canales as Mr. Mackey
- Dr. Nogrady as Craig Tucker
- Jimmy "Ordy" Ord as Chef
- Chief Engineer Hiroki as Terrance
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