Benji "Hallway" Milanowski
From Scratchpad
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[edit] Origins
Benji "Hallway" Milanowski is a Psuedo-Jew. He joined the Ship of Fools in 2003.
[edit] First Show
Benji's first show was a Coffee at the Crossroads show. Coffee at the Crossroads was an event sponsored by and held at a local church.
[edit] Officer Positions
Benji served as Treasurer under Captain Paul "CMG" Kuliniewicz from (date) to (date). We're still looking for the hookers.
Benji was also commissioned as the Ship's first Sergeant under Captain Ryan "T-Rex" Garwood during the first Hanukkah Gift Exchange. When questioned about the promotion, Ryan responded:
Benji is an incredibly talented and capable individual. I felt as though he exemplified the ideal model for our group of improvisationalists, setting an example for them to look up to and live up to. A sargeant is the NCO whose sole job is to command a squad on a day-to-day basis and oversee them in their tasks. He's my right hand man, and my Second. When I need things to get done, I turn to him and he's always ready with a salute and a notepad.
[edit] The Yogate Scandal
During the Kuliniewicz Administration, Benji was implicated in the scandal around Naked Yogurt Time, and continues to uphold his position on the matter. Benji was accused of consuming yogurt naked by his roommate and then captain, Paul Kuliniewicz. Benji denied the accusations and maintains that he was simply eating the yogurt in his work-out shorts.
At a later date, Paul was accused of similar actions by Benji.
[edit] Alternate Nicknames
Benji is one of the only Fools with an ever changing nickname. When Benji wrote his bio on the Ship of Fools website he implemented the nick name "Sea Doc" to correspond with the other seafaring nicknames of the other Fools. Benji was rarely, if ever, addressed as Sea Doc. During the same evening when Paul "CMG" Kuliniewicz was named CMG, Benji had several nicknames suggested to him including Phies (a contraction of Four-Eyes) and Steve. None of these nicknames were well received and much like Sea Doc, were rarely used. Benji is currently and often addressed as Hallway or occasionally Sergeant.
[edit] Emails
In a true Strong Bad fashion, Benji has long been known to be the writer of emails to the group's Email List. Before any modification of our regular Weekly meeting, such as a different time or location, or to alert the group of any shows coming up, Benji writes a humorous non-spam email reminder. Often, this email follows a theme related to the closest holiday, show, or current event and features many Wikipedia links. A staple of these emails is the hyphenated-signature-at-the-end such as:
- Benji “I-wish-I-had-better-non-sequitur-jokes” Milanowski
- Benji “I-haven’t-forgotten-my-promise-to-provide-patently-ridiculous-ideas” Milanowski
- Benji “Service Always, Clothing Optional” Milanowski (In regards to SoF T-Shirts)
[edit] Accomplishments
- Winner of the Dr. Know It All Award (2006, 2007).
- Co-Winner of the Huzzah! Performer of the Year Award (2006).
- Winner of the Human Pyramid Award (2007).
- Graduating Senior Award: The Jabba-Jabba Award (2006), The Gregory House Award (2007).
- To date, the only Graduating Senior twice over
- Is a formidable Gay Chicken opponent
- Once convinced two girls to make out using semantics.
- Having the letters of "ninja" and "wiki" in his name.
[edit] Improv Strengths and Weaknesses
- Favorite games: 3 Things, Scenes From A Hat, World's Worst, Dating Game & Party Quirks, Oxygen Deprivation
- Strengths: Guessing games, mime and gibberish, Fun Facts
- Weaknesses: History of a Thing, Questions Only, Word Rations, Accents (though he will still use them)
[edit] Personal Life
Benji is often known to carry around a Leatherman multi-tool, a flashlight, and other MacGuyver-esque items on his person. He is a collector of ecclectic items including a cane with a sword in it, a Nalgene water bottle with custom cut Camelbak straw, and a PEZ dispensor in the shape of a pistol. In addition to his strange allure to the eccentric Benji also has an affinity for playing Pac Man and Tetris and will often reference old arcade and 8-bit NES games. One of Benji's more prominent examples of this was a PowerPoint presentation about how Pac Man would look if painted by different artists. Much to the chagrin of Andy "Quasar" Ober Benji performs magic tricks.
Benji initially went to Purdue for electrical engineering but changed his degree and dropped out of Army ROTC after his freshman year to general health sciences and forensics. He received his first degree in Forensic Science from Purdue University in 2006. He currently is enrolled in an accelerated Nursing program for his second degree. Is frequently seen studying at the Village Coffee Shop, wearing headphones, biking, or some combination thereof. He is the Second of Ryan Garwood. He is from Valparaiso, Indiana and lives with three very fine ladies in his Chauncey apartment. Benji worked part time in the Purdue Flow Cytometry lab from 2003 until his graduation in 2006. Benji also worked as a camp counselor at Camp Calcium during the 2006 summer.
