Best Unicorn Ever is the eighteenth episode of the nineteenth season of Spike the Dragon and Friends, and the two hundred and fifty-eighth episode overall. It is a parody of the Thomas and Friends episode, Best Engine Ever.
- Spike as Thomas
- Big Macintosh as Gordon
- Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
- Pipsqueak as Percy
- Rarity as Emily
- Mr. Cake as Connor
- Mrs. Cake as Caitlin
- Applejack as Marion
- Crescent Moon as Victor
- Shining Armor as Edward (cameo)
- Filthy Rich as Henry (cameo)
- The Passengers as Themselves
Narrator: "Mr. and Mrs. Cake are very fast unicorns, who love to have races as they take passengers back and forth from the mainland."
Mrs. Cake: (Giggles) "It looks like I'm going to win today!"
Mr. Cake: "Oh, we'll see about that!"
Narrator: "But then there was trouble."
Mrs. Cake: "Oh no!"
(Mrs. Cake quickly brakes and comes to a stop)
Mrs. Cake: "Phew!"
Mr. Cake: "Whoa! Nice emergency braking, Cup Cake!"
Rarity: "Sorry. I would have pulled out of the way, but I've gotten injured. I can't move."
Mrs. Cake: "That's nothing to be sorry about, Rarity. Everyone gets hurt sometimes."
Passenger #1: "What's the holdup?"
Passenger #2: "Why have we stalled?"
Passenger #3: "I'm already behind schedule."
Rarity: "Before you go, Mrs. Cake, um... perhaps you could just push me onto that siding up ahead?"
Mrs. Cake: "Um... don't worry, Rarity. I can switch paths to get past you."
Rarity: "But just a quick push."
Mrs. Cake: "Oh, no, no, it's fine. I've already done it."
Rarity: "But... but... I...."
Narrator: "It wasn't very long before Mrs. Cake came back again."
Rarity: "Oh. Hi, Mrs. Cake. Wait. Where are your buffaloes?"
Mrs. Cake: (Giggles) "I don't need any buffaloes. I'm taking you to the hospital. You didn't think I was going to leave you here stranded, did you?"
Mrs. Cake: (Giggles) "Is that who I think it is, Rarity?"
Rarity: "It's Mr. Cake!"
Mr. Cake: "Afternoon, ladies." (Laughs) "It looks like I'm gonna win again, Cup Cake."
Mrs. Cake: (Laughs) "The race is on!"
Rarity: "Wow, Mrs. Cake! This is fast!"
Mrs. Cake: "Fast? This isn't fast! But, well, you a bit heavier than my buffaloes."
Rarity: "Ugh! Heavier?"
Mrs. Cake: "No offense, Rarity, but you are a great big unicorn, like me!"
(Laughs) "We've got him! He's stopping."
(Laughs) "Too bad, Carrot Cake!"
Narrator: "It wasn't long before fast, strong Mrs. Cake had arrived at the hospital with poor injured Rarity. Rarity was very impressed by Mrs. Cake."
Rarity: (Giggles) "That was great, Mrs. Cake! You're amazing."
Mrs. Cake: "Amazing? Not really. Just born for speed, that's all."
Rarity: "She's so fast, Crescent Moon, it was incredible! She must be the best unicorn ever!"
Crescent Moon: "Honestly, Rarity, being fast isn't everything.
Rarity: "I know, but Mrs. Cake looks amazing too. Her shape is so sleek and smooth."
Crescent Moon: "That's just the pony baker design. Underneath all that, Mrs. Cake's just a pony like the rest of us."
Rarity: "Can't the doctors do anything to change my shape, Crescent Moon?"
Crescent Moon: "Why would you want to do that? You're a great pony, Rarity, just the way you are."
Narrator: "A few days later, Rarity was back at work on the main path again."
Mrs. Cake: "Hello, Rarity!"
Rarity: "Hi, Mrs. Cake."
Mrs. Cake: "Wow, you look as good as new. Did you get new fur?"
Rarity: "Just a touch-up. But no matter what they do, I'll never be as amazing as you."
Mrs. Cake: "What nonsense! You're a brilliant unicorn. And you get to pull all sorts of loads, whereas I almost always pull passengers. I wouldn't mind a bit more variety from time to time. Take care now."
Spike: "Hello, Rarity. Rarity? What's the matter?"
Rarity: (Sighs) "Mrs. Cake is better than me at everything."
Spike: "Everything? She can't be better than you at everything."
Rarity: "But she is, Spike. She really, really is."
Applejack: "Don't be silly, Rarity. Be proud of yourself. Lift your hat high and say, 'I'm a very special pony, and there's no other like me!'."
Rarity: "But I don't have a hat. And Mrs. Cake is better than me at everything."
Narrator: "The other animals knew Rarity was unhappy. But they didn't know how to cheer her up again."
Pipsqueak: "Oh! Would you like to delivery the mail for me, Rarity? That's a fun job."
Rarity: "No, thanks, Pipsqueak."
Cranky Doodle Donkey: "I know! You can be my back animal tomorrow. I'm heading up the coast to the Ponyville Beach."
Big Macintosh: (Laughs) "Of course, Cranky! Everybody wants to be your back animal."
Narrator: "Then, one day, Rarity had to make a delivery to the castle."
Mrs. Cake: "Hello, Rarity."
Rarity: "Mrs. Cake! Have you gotten hurt?"
Mrs. Cake: "No, but my driver thought he heard a strange sound, so he's just checking me over."
(Giggles) "Looks like you're going to be me back down the hill."
Narrator: "Rarity headed back down the steep hill again. But then there was trouble."
Mrs. Cake: "Help! Help! My hooves! My hooves have failed! Help! Look out, Rarity!"
Mrs. Cake: "I can't stop!"
(Mrs. Cake bumps into the back of Rarity)
Rarity: (Gasps) "I have to slow her down!"
(Rarity tries to stop Mrs. Cake, as they race down the hill)
Rarity: "Don't worry, Mrs. Cake! I've got you!" (Grunting)
(Rarity manages to bring Mrs. Cake to a stop)
Mrs. Cake: "Oh! Oh, Rarity! You're my hero!"
Narrator: "This time, it was Mrs. Cake who had to be taken to the hospital. And Rarity was very happy to be the pony who could take her there."
Mrs. Cake: "Ugh, this is why I don't do pushing. It always messes up my skirt."
Rarity: "Is that why you didn't push me onto the siding? Because of your skirt!"
Mrs. Cake: "Yes. Sorry about that. I wish I had strong front hooves like you. You were amazing today, Rarity. What a brave unicorn you are."
Rarity: "Everybody gets hurt sometimes, Mrs. Cake."
Mrs. Cake: "I'm so lucky to have a friend like you. Thanks for helping me."
Rarity: "And I'm lucky to have a friend like you, too."
Rarity and Mrs. Cake: (Laugh)