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Best of Kevin is an Ash & Friends spoof to Best of Edward. It is composed of two Season 1 episodes, four Season 2 episodes, one Season 3 episode, one Season 6 episode, and one Season 7 episode narrated by George Carlin, Alec Baldwin, and Michael Brandon for the US.

Description

Who's the awesome character on YTV? Ke-vin, Ke-vin! Following in the footsteps of Alex. Ash, Raimundo, Shaggy, Jackie, and even Terry, Kevin Keene jumps into the driver's seat with his own "Best Of..." video.

Cast

  1. Ash Ketchum as Thomas (Veronica Taylor)
  2. Kevin Keene as Edward (Matt Hill)
  3. Shaggy Rogers as Henry (Matthew Lillard)
  4. Terry McGinnis as Gordon (Will Friedle)
  5. Raimundo Pedrosa as James (Tom Kenny)
  6. Alexander "Alex" O'Connell as Percy (Chris Marquette)
  7. Jackie Chan as Toby (James Sie)
  8. Virgil Hawkins as Duck (Phil LaMarr)
  9. Donkey Kong as BoCo (Richard Yearwood)
  10. Sonic The Hedgehog as Bertie (Jason Griffith)
  11. Freakazoid as Terence (Paul Rugg)
  12. Heathcliff as Trevor (Mel Blanc)
  13. Steven Ketchum as Sir Topham Hatt (Dan Green)
  14. Bumpty The Penguin as Bill (Lainie Fraiser)
  15. Raphael The Raven as Ben (Phil LaMarr)
  16. Yoshi as Stepney (Andrew Sabiston)
  17. Suzy as Annie (Megan Hollingshead)
  18. Pietra as Clarabel (Carol Jacobanis)
  19. Rikochet as Skarloey (Carlos Alazraqui)

Episodes

  1. Kevin Helps Out
  2. Trouble In The Library
  3. Kevin, Heathcliff and The Really Useful Party
  4. A Miltank On The Line
  5. Sonic's Chase
  6. Saved From Scrap
  7. Kevin's Exploit
  8. Kevin The Really Useful Game Master
  9. Kevin's Brass Band

Transcript

Kevin Helps Out

  • George Carlin: One day, Kevin was in the library where he lived with the other characters. They were all bigger than Kevin and boasted about it.
  • Terry: The driver won't choose you again.
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Terry: He wants strong characters like us.
  • George Carlin: But the driver and fireman felt sorry for Kevin.
  • Driver: Would you like to come out today?
  • Kevin: Oh yes, please.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin. So they lit his fire, made lots of steam and Kevin puff away. The other characters were very cross of being left behind. Kevin worked hard all day. The coaches thought he was very kind and the driver was very pleased.
  • Kevin: I'm going out again tomorrow.
  • George Carlin: Kevin told the other characters that night.
  • Kevin: What do you think at that?
  • George Carlin: But he didn't hear what they thought, for he was so tired and happy that he fell asleep at once. Next morning, Kevin woke up to find nothing had change. Terry was still boasting.
  • Terry: You watch me, little Kevin, as I rush through with the express. That will be a splendid sight for you. Goodbye, little Kevin. Look out for me this afternoon.
  • George Carlin: Kevin went off to do some shunting. He like shunting. It was fun playing with Beedrill. He would come out quietly and gave them a push. Then he would stop, and the silly Beedrill will go bump into the each other.
  • Beedrill: Oh!
  • George Carlin: They cried.
  • Beedrill: Whatever is happening?
  • George Carlin: Kevin played till there were no more Beedrill. Then he stopped to rest. Presently, he heard a whistle. Terry was cross. Instead of pulling shiny new coaches, he was pulling a dirty freight train.
  • Terry: A freight train, a freight train, a freight train!
  • George Carlin: He grumbled.
  • Terry: The shame of it, the shame of it, oh, the shame of it!
  • George Carlin: Kevin laughed and went to find some more Beedrill. Then, there was trouble.
  • Porter: Terry can't get up the hill.
  • George Carlin: The porter called to Kevin's Driver.
  • Porter: Will you take Kevin and push him please?
  • George Carlin: They found Terry halfway up, and very cross. His driver and fireman were talking to him severly.
  • Driver: You're not trying.
  • Terry: I can't do it!
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Terry: The noisy Beedrill hold a character back so!
  • George Carlin: Kevin's driver came up.
  • Driver: We've come to push.
  • Terry: No use at all!
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Driver: You wait and see.
  • George Carlin: Replied Kevin's driver. They brought the train back to the bottom of the hill.
  • Kevin: I'm ready.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Kevin.
  • Terry: No good.
  • George Carlin: Grumbled Terry. They pulled and pushed as hard as they could.
  • Terry: I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Terry.
  • Kevin: I will do it, I will do it, I will do it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Kevin. Kevin pushed and puffed and puffed and pushed as hard as ever he could. And almost before he realized it, Terry found himself at the top of the hill.
  • Terry: I've done it, I've done it, I've done it!
  • George Carlin: He said proudly. He forgot all about kind Kevin and didn't say thank you. Kevin was left out of breath and far behind, but he was happy because he had been so helpful. At the next station, he found that the driver and fireman were very pleased with him. The fireman gave him a nice long drink and the driver said.
  • Driver: I'll get out my paint tomorrow, and give you your beautiful coat of blue with red stripes, then you'll be the smartest character in the shed.

Trouble In The Library

  • George Carlin: Steven sat in his laboratory listening to the noise outside. The passengers were angry. The stationmaster came in.
  • Stationmaster: There's trouble in the library, sir. Shaggy was sulking. There's no train and the passengers are saying this is a bad railway.
  • Steven: Indeed.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven.
  • Steven: We cannot allow that.
  • George Carlin: He found Terry, Raimundo and Shaggy looking very cross.
  • Steven: Come along, Shaggy. It's time your train was ready.
  • Terry: Shaggy's not going!
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Terry: We won't shunt like little characters. That was Ash's job. We are important tender characters. You fetch our coaches and we will pull them. Tender characters don't shunt.
  • Steven: We'll see about that.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven.
  • Steven: No character on my railway is too important for small jobs.
  • George Carlin: And he hurried away to find Kevin.
  • Steven: The yard has never been the same since Ash left to run his branch line.
  • George Carlin: He thought sadly. Kevin was shunting.
  • Steven: Leave those Beedrill please, Kevin.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven.
  • Steven: I want to push coaches for me in the yard.
  • Kevin: Thank you, sir. That will be a nice change.
  • Steven: That's a good boy. Off you go then.
  • George Carlin: So Kevin found coaches for the three characters and that day, the train's ran as usual. But next morning, Kevin looked unhappy. Terry came clanking pass hissing rudely.
  • Steven: Bless me!
  • George Carlin: Steven.
  • Steven: What a noise!
  • Kevin: They all hissed me, Sir.
  • George Carlin: Answered Kevin.
  • Kevin: They say tender characters don't shunt and last night they said I have gray feet. I haven't have I, sir?
  • Steven: No Kevin, you have nice blue ones, and I'm proud of you. Tender characters do shunt, but all the same we do need another character here.
  • George Carlin: He went to the workshop and they showed them all sorts of characters. At last, he saw a smart little kid with orange hair.
  • Steven: That's the one.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Steven: If I choose you, will you work hard?
  • Alex: Oh sir, yes sir.
  • Steven: That's a good boy. I'll call you Alex.
  • Alex: Yes sir, thank you sir.
  • George Carlin: And Steven brought Alex back to the yard.
  • Steven: Kevin.
  • George Carlin: He called.
  • Steven: Here's Alex. Will you show him everything?
  • George Carlin: Alex soon learned what he had to do and they had a happy afternoon. Then Shaggy came by hissing as usual.
  • Alex: Wheesh!
  • George Carlin: Went Alex. Shaggy jumped and ran back to the shed.
  • Kevin: How beautifully you wheeshed him!
  • George Carlin: Laughed Kevin.
  • Kevin: I can't wheesh like that.
  • Alex: Oh.
  • George Carlin: Said Alex.
  • Alex: That's nothing. You should hear them in the workshop. You have to wheesh loudly to make yourself heard.
  • George Carlin: Next morning, Ash arrived.
  • Ash: Steven sent to me. I expect he wants help.
  • George Carlin: He said to Kevin.
  • Kevin: Sh, sh, here he comes.
  • George Carlin: Replied Kevin.
  • Steven: Well done, Ash, you've been quick. Listen, Shaggy, Terry and Raimundo are sulking they say they won't shunt like little characters, so I have shut them up and I want you both to run a line for a while.
  • Ash: Little characters indeed.
  • George Carlin: Snorted Ash.
  • Ash: We'll show them.
  • Steven: And Alex will help too.
  • Alex: Oh sir, yes sir, please sir.
  • George Carlin: Answered Alex. Kevin and Ash worked the main line greeting each other as they pass by. Alex puffed along the branch line. Ash was anxious about Suzy and Pietra, but both driver and conductor promise to take care of them. They were fewer trains but the passengers didn't mind. They knew the three other characters were having a lesson. Terry, Raimundo and Shaggy were cold, lonely and miserable. They wish now they haven't been so silly.

Kevin, Heathcliff and The Really Useful Party

  • George Carlin: Heathcliff the Cat is old fashioned, but he doesn't care. He knows that he is really useful, like his friend Kevin Keene. Early one morning, Heathcliff was chuffing about the Vicarage Orchard. He had important news for Kevin.
  • Heathcliff: The Vicar says that not all children are able to have holidays by the sea, so he's having a garden party to raise money for his seaside trip. I'm going to be the star attraction.
  • George Carlin: Chattered Heathcliff.
  • Heathcliff: Giving rides to all the visitors. The Vicar is putting up posters all about it.
  • Kevin: I'd like to help too.
  • George Carlin: Sighed Kevin.
  • Kevin: But without my rails, I wouldn't be much good at the garden party.
  • George Carlin: It was a beautiful day but Kevin was worried.
  • Kevin: I wish there was something I can do for a party.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Kevin: I'd like to be helpful like Heathcliff.
  • George Carlin: Kevin's driver laughed.
  • Driver: You're helpful in your own way, and that's on the railway.
  • George Carlin: Next day, it was Heathcliff's turn to look disappointed. He had bad news.
  • Heathcliff: The Vicar's been so busy that he forgot to put up the posters. Now no one will know about the party.
  • George Carlin: But Kevin had an idea.
  • Kevin: Don't worry.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Kevin: Everything is going to be all right.
  • George Carlin: Then he explained to his driver.
  • Kevin: The Vicar can paste his posters on my cab and coaches, so wherever I go, they'll go too.
  • Driver: Well done, Kevin.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: I'm sure Steven would agree.
  • George Carlin: As indeed he did. Kevin steamed happily to the stations collecting his passengers.
  • Passengers: Look!
  • George Carlin: They said.
  • Passengers: The Vicar is holding a party. We must go do that.
  • George Carlin: Later Heathcliff was resting in the orchard shed when Sonic rolled by.
  • Sonic: Hello, Heathcliff. Why are you dozing there like an old stick-in-the-mud?
  • Heathcliff: I'm not dozing, I'm resting.
  • George Carlin: Replied Heathcliff. Then he told Sonic about the Vicar's party.
  • Sonic: I'll be there too.
  • George Carlin: Boasted Sonic.
  • Sonic: I'm not sure people would wanna ride on a cat after traveling in the smart blue hedgehog like me.
  • George Carlin: The party day arrived. It had rained heavenly during the night and the orchard grove was soaked.
  • Heathcliff: Rain and mud won't spoil my day.
  • George Carlin: Said Heathcliff.
  • Driver: No indeed.
  • George Carlin: Agreed his driver.
  • Driver: We'll stay on the road then we won't get bogged down.
  • George Carlin: Heathcliff was soon busy trending up and down the quiet country lane, carrying lots of laughing children. He was just turning the corner when he heard Bertie.
  • Sonic: Hello, old timer. I'm taking everyone to the party. People have come from all other the island.
  • George Carlin: Heathcliff gave Sonic a cheerful whistle, and turned backed toward the orchard. Then there was trouble.
  • Sonic: Help, I'm stuck!
  • George Carlin: Shouted Sonic. His feet had sunk deep in the orchard mud. Freakazoid arrived just in time.
  • Freakazoid: I'm the one who has to plough fields.
  • George Carlin: Laughed Freakazoid.
  • Freakazoid: We better get you out of here.
  • George Carlin: Using strong ropes, Freakazoid and Heathcliff pulled Sonic cleared the mud.
  • Heathcliff: This will teach Sonic a thing or two.
  • George Carlin: Heathcliff chuffered to himself. At last, Sonic was on the road again.
  • Sonic: Thank you, Heathcliff. You're not a stick-in-the-mud at all.
  • Heathcliff: No.
  • George Carlin: Smiled Heathcliff.
  • Heathcliff: But you were. Just for a little while.
  • George Carlin: That evening, the Vicar arrived to see Kevin and his driver.
  • Vicar: Thanks to your good idea about the posters. Hundreds of people payed to come to the party. We've raised lots of money for the children.
  • George Carlin: Kevin was very pleased and Heathcliff fell happily asleep thinking of all the children who would now get to the seaside at last.

A Miltank On The Line

  • George Carlin: Kevin was getting old. His bearings were worn, and he clanked as he puffed along. He was taking empty Beedrill to a market town. The sun shone, birds sang, but Kevin was heading for trouble.
  • Kevin: Come on! Come on!
  • George Carlin: He puffed.
  • Beedrill: Oh! Oh!
  • George Carlin: Screamed the Beedrill. Kevin puffed and clanked, the Beedrill rattled and screamed. Some Miltank were grazing near by. They were not used to trains. The noise and smoke disturbed them. As Kevin clanked by, they broke through the fence and ran across the line. A coupling was broken and some Beedrill were left behind.
  • (Miltank mooing)
  • George Carlin: Kevin felt a jerk, but didn't take much notice. He was used to Beedrill.
  • Kevin: Bother those Beedrill!
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Kevin: Why can't they come quietly?
  • George Carlin: He was at the next station before either he or his driver realized what had happened. When Terry and Shaggy heard about the accident, they laughed and boasted.
  • Terry: Fancy allowing Beedrill to break your train! They wouldn't dare do that to us. We'd show them!
  • George Carlin: Old Jackie was cross.
  • Jackie: You couldn't help it, Kevin. They've never met Miltank. I have, and I know the trouble they are.
  • George Carlin: Some days later, Terry rushed through Kevin's Station.
  • Terry: Boop boop! Mind the Miltank! Hurry, hurry!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Terry.
  • Pets: Don't make such a fuss! Don't make such a fuss!
  • George Carlin: Grumbled his pets. A long stretch a line lay ahead. In the distance was a bridge. It seemed to Terry that there was something on the bridge. His driver thought so too.
  • Terry's Driver: Whoa, Terry!
  • George Carlin: He said, and shut off steam.
  • Terry: Pooh!
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Terry: It's only a Miltank! Shooh! Shooh!
  • George Carlin: He moved slowly on to the bridge, but the Miltank wouldn't "Shooh"! She had lost her calf, and felt lonely.
  • Miltank: Mooooh!
  • George Carlin: She said sadly. Everyone tried to send her away, but she wouldn't go. Shaggy arrived.
  • Shaggy: What's this? A Miltank? I'll soon settle her. Be off! Be off!
  • Miltank: Mooooh!
  • George Carlin: Shaggy backed away nervously.
  • Shaggy: I don't want to hurt her.
  • George Carlin: At the next station, Shaggy's Conductor told them about the cow, and warned the signalman that the line was blocked.
  • Porter: That must be Bluebell.
  • George Carlin: Said a porter.
  • Porter: Her calf is here, looking for her mother. Alex will take her along.
  • George Carlin: At the bridge, Bluebell was very pleased to her calf again, and the porter led them away.
  • Shaggy: Not a word.
  • Terry: Keep it secret.
  • George Carlin: Whispered Terry and Shaggy to each other. They felt rather silly, but the story soon spread.
  • Kevin: Well, well, well!
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Kevin.
  • Kevin: Two big characters afraid of a Miltank.
  • Terry: Afraid? Rubbish.
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Terry: We didn't want the poor thing to hurt herself by running up against us. We stopped so as not to excite her. You see what mean, my dear Kevin.
  • Kevin: Yes, Terry.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin. Terry felt somehow that Kevin "saw" only too well.

Sonic's Chase

  • George Carlin: One morning, Kevin was waiting to pick up passengers from Ash Ketchum.
  • Kevin: Peep peep! We're late! Where is Ash? He doesn't usually make us wait.
  • Fireman: Oh dear, what can the matter be?
  • George Carlin: Sanged the fireman.
  • Fireman: Johnny's so longer...
  • Driver: Never you mind abot Johnny.
  • George Carlin: Laughed the driver.
  • Driver: Just you climb on the cab and look for Ash. Can you see him?
  • Fireman: No.
  • George Carlin: Replied the fireman.
  • Fireman: There's Sonic the Hedgehog in the terriying hurry. No need to bother with him though. Likely, he's on the coach tour of something.
  • George Carlin: He clambered down.
  • Sonic: Stop, stop! I've got Ash's passengers!
  • George Carlin: Wailed Sonic, roaring up to the gates. It was no good. Kevin was gone.
  • Sonic: Bother.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Sonic: Bother Ash's fireman not coming to work today. Why did I promise to help the visitors catch the train?
  • Driver: That will do, Sonic.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: A promise is a promise and we must keep it.
  • Sonic: I'll catch Kevin or bust.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Sonic: Oh, my gears and axles!
  • George Carlin: He groaned, toiling up the hill.
  • Sonic: I'll never be the same bus again. Hooray, hooray! I see him!
  • George Carlin: Cheered Sonic as he reached the top.
  • Sonic: Oh, no! Kevin's at the station! No, he stopped at the crossing. Hooray, hooray!
  • George Carlin: Sonic toured down the hill.
  • Passengers: Well done, Sonic!
  • George Carlin: Shouted his passengers.
  • Passengers: Go it!
  • George Carlin: Sonic skitted into the yard.
  • Sonic: Wait, wait!
  • George Carlin: Cried Sonic. He was just in time to see Kevin puffed away.
  • Sonic: I'm sorry.
  • George Carlin: Said Sonic.
  • Passengers: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: Said the passengers.
  • Passengers: After him quickly. Third time lucky you know. Do you think we'll catch em at the next station, driver?
  • Driver: There's a good chance.
  • George Carlin: Replied his driver.
  • Driver: Our road keeps close to the line and we can climb hills better than Kevin. I'll just make sure.
  • George Carlin: He spoke to the stationmaster. Sonic and the passengers waited impatiently.
  • Driver: Yes! We'll do it this time.
  • George Carlin: Said the driver.
  • Passengers: Hooray!
  • George Carlin: Called the passengers, as Sonic chased after Kevin once more.
  • Pets: This hill is too steep, this hill is too steep!
  • George Carlin: Grumbled the pets as Kevin snorted in front. They reach the top at last and ran smoothly into the station.
  • Kevin: Peep!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Kevin.
  • Kevin: Get in quickly please.
  • George Carlin: The conductor blew the whistle and Kevin's driver looked back. But the flag didn't wave, Then he heard Sonic. Everything seem to happy at once, and the stationmaster told the conductor and driver what had happened.
  • Kevin: I'm sorry about the chase, Sonic.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Sonic: My fault.
  • George Carlin: Replied Sonic.
  • Sonic: Late at junction. You didn't know about Ash's passengers.
  • Kevin: Peep peep! Goodbye, Sonic! We're off!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Kevin.
  • Passengers: Three cheers for Sonic!
  • George Carlin: Called the passengers. Sonic raced back to tell Ash that all was well.
  • Ash: Thank you, Sonic, for keeping your promise.
  • George Carlin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: You're a very good friend indeed.

Saved From Scrap

  • George Carlin: Steven works his characters hard, but they are very proud when he calls them really useful.
  • Kevin: I'm going to the scrapyard today.
  • George Carlin: Kevin called to Ash.
  • Ash: What? Already? You're not that old.
  • George Carlin: Replied Ash cheekily. Ash was only teased him. The scrapyard was full of rusty old cars and machinery. They are broken into pieces, loaded into Beedrill and Kevin pulls them to the steelworks where they are melted down and used again. Today, there was a surprise waiting for Kevin in the yard. It was a cat.
  • Kevin: Hello.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin You're not broken and rusty. What are you doing here?
  • Heathcliff: I'm Heathcliff. They're going to break me up next week.
  • Kevin: What a shame.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Heathcliff: My driver says I only need some paint, polish and oil to be as good as new, but my owner says I'm old fashioned.
  • George Carlin: Kevin snorted.
  • Kevin: People say I'm old fashioned, but I don't care. Steven says I'm a useful character. What work did you do?
  • Heathcliff: My owner will send us from farm to farm. We threshed corn, hauled logs and did lots of other work. The children loved to see us.
  • George Carlin: Heathcliff shut his eyes, remembering.
  • Heathcliff: Oh, yes. I like children.
  • George Carlin: Kevin set off for the station.
  • Kevin: Broken up, what a shame. Broken up, what a shame. I must help Heathcliff, I must.
  • George Carlin: He thought of all his friends who liked characters. But strangely none of them would have room for a cat at home.
  • Kevin: It's a shame, it's a shame.
  • George Carlin: He hissed. Then...
  • Kevin: Peep! Peep! Why didn't I think of him before.
  • George Carlin: There on the platform was the very person.
  • Charles: Hello, Kevin. You look upset. What's the matter, Charlie?
  • George Carlin: He asked the driver.
  • Driver: There's a cat in the scrapyard, professor. He'll be broken up next week. Bluster Kong says he never drove a better character.
  • Kevin: Do save him, sir. He saws wood and gives children rides.
  • Charles: We'll see.
  • George Carlin: Replied the professor. Bluster Kong came on Saturday.
  • Bluster Kong: The reverend's coming to see you, Heathcliff. Maybe he'll buy you.
  • Heathcliff: Do you think he will?
  • George Carlin: Asked Heathcliff?
  • Bluster Kong: He will when I lit your fire and clean you up.
  • George Carlin: The professor and his two boys arrived that evening. Heathcliff hadn't felt so happy for months. He chuffered about the yard.
  • Charles: Show your paces, Heathcliff.
  • George Carlin: Said the professor. Later he came out of the office, smiling.
  • Charles: I've got him cheap, Heathcliff, cheap.
  • Bluster Kong: Did ye hear that Heathcliff?
  • George Carlin: Cried Bluster.
  • Bluster Kong: The reverend's saved you and you'll live at the vicarage now.
  • Heathcliff: Peep! Peep!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Heathcliff. Heathcliff's home was in the Vicarage Orchard, and he sees Kevin every day. His paint is spotless and his brass shines like gold. Heathcliff likes his work but his happiest day is the church fair. With a wooden seat bolted to his bunker, he chuffers round the orchard giving rides to children. Long afterwards, you will see him shut his eyes, remembering.
  • Heathcliff: I like children.
  • George Carlin: He whispers happily.

Kevin's Exploit

  • George Carlin: Sonic the Hedgehog was giving some visitors a tour of the land of YTV. It was their last afternoon, and Kevin was preparing to take them to meet Bumpty and Raphael. He found it hard to start the heavy train.
  • Shaggy: Did you see him straining?
  • George Carlin: Asked Shaggy.
  • Raimundo: Positively painful.
  • George Carlin: Remarked Raimundo.
  • Terry: Just pathetic.
  • George Carlin: Grunted Terry.
  • Terry: He should give up and be preserved before it's too late.
  • Virgil: Shut up!
  • George Carlin: Burst out Virgil.
  • Virgil: You're all jealous. Kevin's better than any of you.
  • Donkey Kong: You're right, Virgil.
  • George Carlin: Said Donkey Kong.
  • Donkey Kong: Kevin's old, but he'll surprised us all.
  • Kevin: I've done it, we're off! I've done it, we're off!
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin, as he finally puffed out of the station. Bumpty and Raphael were delighted to see the visitors. They loved being photographed. Later, they take the party to the China Clay Works in the break van special. Everyone have a splendid time, and the visitors were most impressed. Then, Kevin took the visitors home. On the way, the weather changed. Wind and rain buffered in Kevin. His sanding gear failed, and his fireman rode in front dropping sand on the rails by hand. Suddenly, Kevin's feet slipped fiercely and with a shrieking crack, something broke. The crew inspected the damage. Repairs took some time.
  • Driver: One of your crank pins broke, Kevin.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: We've taken your side rods off. Now you're like an old fashioned man. Can you get these people home? They must start back tonight?
  • Kevin: I'll try, sir.
  • George Carlin: Promised Kevin. Kevin puffed and pulled his hardest. But his feet kept slipping, and he couldn't start the heavy train. The passengers were anxious. The driver, fireman and conductor went along the train, making adjustments between the coaches.
  • Driver: We've loosened the couplings, Kevin. Now you can pick up your coaches one by one, just as you do with Beedrill.
  • Kevin: That'll be much easier.
  • George Carlin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin: Come on!
  • George Carlin: He puffed, and moved cautiously forward. The first coach moving help to start the second and the second help the third.
  • Kevin: I've done it, I've done it!
  • George Carlin: Puffed Kevin.
  • Driver: Steady, boy.
  • George Carlin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: Well done, boy! You've got them, you've got them!
  • George Carlin: And he listened happily to Kevin's steady beat, as he forced slowly but surely ahead. At last, battered, wearly, but unbeaten, Kevin steamed in. Shaggy was waiting for the visitors with the special train.
  • Kevin: Peep peep!
  • George Carlin: Steven angrily pointed to the clock, but excited passengers cheered and thanked Kevin, his driver and fireman. Virgil and Donkey Kong saw to it that Kevin was left in peace. Terry and Raimundo remain respectfully silent.

Kevin The Really Useful Game Master

  • Alec Baldwin: The characters on the land of YTV are good at different things. Terry is a very good express, Alex is good at carrying the mail and when Kevin is not hauling Beedrill, he is very good at being a back character. When characters have heavy loads, Kevin buffers up behind and helps push. But Kevin is old. Some characters think this makes him unreliable.
  • Terry: Kevin is a useless old steam-pot.
  • Alec Baldwin: Terry sniffed.
  • Terry: He should be retired.
  • Alex: But he doesn't have tires.
  • Alec Baldwin: Alex said.
  • Ash: Retired.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: Means taken out of service.
  • Terry: And not a moment too soon.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Terry. And the other big characters agreed with him, but Alex was very upset. Later, his driver asked him why he looked so glum. Alex told him about Kevin.
  • Alex: The big characters don't think he's useful anymore.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said. Alex's driver saw Steven and told him what Alex had said.
  • Steven: I will attend to the matter immediately.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Steven. Steven had a plan.
  • Steven: The new loop line is completed.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said to Kevin.
  • Steven: I want you to teach Yoshi how to run it properly.
  • Kevin: But sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: He asked.
  • Kevin: Who will look after the Beedrill?
  • Steven: Virgil will do your work.
  • Alec Baldwin: Steven replied. When the other characters heard Virgil was going to help them, they were pleased.
  • Shaggy: Virgil is very reliable.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Shaggy.
  • Terry: It makes no difference to me.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Terry pompously.
  • Terry: I don't need a back character.
  • Alec Baldwin: And he wheeshed away. Kevin enjoyed working with Yoshi. It was great fun delivering passengers to stations in the beautiful countryside. But Virgil was not happy. The Beedrill were playing their silly games.
  • Beedrill: Virgil should play with other ducks cause he's no good at pulling Beedrill. Quack, quack, quack, quack. Hold back, hold back.
  • Alec Baldwin: They giggled. Virgil found himself going slower, and slower, and slower. Halfway up Terry's Hill, his wheels stopped all together. Virgil was stuck.
  • Virgil's Driver: Oh, no.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said his driver.
  • Virgil's Driver: This is Terry's line.
  • Alec Baldwin: Terry's guard phoned the signalman to warn him.
  • Signalman: It's too late to switch Terry to the middle line.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said the signalman.
  • Signalman: You'll have to flag him down.
  • Alec Baldwin: Terry saw the guard.
  • Terry: If I stop on this hill, I'll never get started again.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said crossly and he buffered up to Virgil. Terry tried to set off again, but his feet spun and spun.
  • Terry's Driver: It's no use. We need a back engine.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said the driver.
  • Terry's Driver: I'll send for Kevin.
  • Alec Baldwin: Terry was cross. Kevin was excited. He was going to be a back engine for two trains. Kevin cheerfully buffered up and the strange train set off. They chuffed gently into the station.
  • Boy: Look at that!
  • Alec Baldwin: Laughed a boy.
  • Boy: The back character must be the strongest and the best.
  • Alec Baldwin: Terry was embarrassed. Steven spoke severly to Terry.
  • Steven: You have set rude things about Kevin. He proved today that he is useful reliable and very helpful.
  • Alec Baldwin: Terry felt very ashamed. The next morning, Terry apologized.
  • Terry: Thank you for helping me Kevin.
  • Alec Baldwin: Puffed Terry.
  • Terry: You really are a useful game master.
  • Kevin: It's good to be back.
  • Alec Baldwin: Kevin chuffed happily. Steven's plan had worked. There was no more talk about Kevin retiring.

Kevin's Brass Band

  • Michael Brandon: Summer is a busy time on the land of YTV. Vacationers have so much to see and do. There are trips to the seaside, balloon rides in the country and the brass band playing in the park. One morning, Kevin was in a hurry. He didn't even stop to say hello to Yoshi. Ash was pleased to see Kevin.
  • Ash: What's up? Your smile's as broad as your smokebox.
  • Kevin: I'm on my way to pick up the brass band.
  • Michael Brandon: Replied Kevin.
  • Kevin: The concert is tomorrow night.
  • Ash: Don't crack your smokebox.
  • Michael Brandon: Teased Ash. Kevin couldn't wait to hear the brass band play their wonderful music. He was so excited about meeting the brass band that he didn't notice the giant crane. It was unloading a huge ship's boiler. Suddenly, the crane swung the boiler and knocked Kevin right off the track. Bowser had been watching.
  • Bowser: You useless little characters are always in the way.
  • Michael Brandon: Poor Kevin. Steven came inmediately.
  • Steven: We will take you to the fitters yard and Sonic will have to meet the brass band instead of you.
  • Michael Brandon: Kevin was sad. That night a raging storm rolled in. The fitters worked through the night trying to mend Edward. The rain pelted down. Now Kevin felt sad and very dammed. Morning came and Steven arrived.
  • Kevin: Please sir.
  • Michael Brandon: Pleaded Kevin.
  • Kevin: Will the fitters be finished soon?
  • Steven: Not soon enough and the band can't wait. I'm sorry Kevin, Sonic will take them to the concert.
  • Michael Brandon: Kevin felt worse than ever. Sonic collected the brass band and set off inmediately. He bummed cheerfully along the country roads. But there was trouble ahead. Last night, storm had flooded the road. Sonic's driver decided to take a shortcut. But it was very muddy. Sonic's shoes did not like the mud. They scooted, they skated, they slid, they slipped.
  • Sonic: I'm stuck!
  • Michael Brandon: He groaned.
  • Sonic: (grunts)
  • Michael Brandon: Sonic revved his engine, but his shoes spun round and round. He couldn't budge. The brass band were worried.
  • Leader: We musn't be late for our concert. Tune up your tuba.
  • Michael Brandon: Cried the leader of the band.
  • Leader: We'll call for help.
  • Michael Brandon: By now Kevin was mended and hooked up to his coaches.
  • Kevin's Driver: I can hear music.
  • Michael Brandon: Said his driver.
  • Kevin: That's not music.
  • Michael Brandon: Wheeshed Kevin.
  • Kevin: That's an alarm.
  • Michael Brandon: And they raced off to the rescue. The musicians were delighted to see their old friend, so was Sonic.
  • Kevin: I'll get you to the concert in time!
  • Michael Brandon: Kevin cried.
  • Bandsmen: Thank you.
  • Michael Brandon: Said the worried bandsmen. That night, the concert was a great success. Everyone loved the music, especially Kevin.

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