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Best of Virgil is Pikachufreak's Netflix Spoof to Best of Duck. It has four Season 2 episodes, four Season 3 episodes and one Season 4 episode narrated by George Carlin for the US audiences.

Cast

  1. Kevin Keene as Edward (Matt Hill)
  2. Shaggy Rogers as Henry (Matthew Lillard)
  3. Terry McGinnis as Gordon (Will Friedle)
  4. Raimundo Pedrosa as James (Tom Kenny)
  5. Alexander "Alex" O'Connell as Percy (Chris Marquette)
  6. Jackie Chan as Toby (James Sie)
  7. Virgil Hawkins as Duck (Phil LaMarr)
  8. Ozzy Jones as Donald (Phil LaMarr)
  9. Drix Koldriliff as Douglas (Jeff Bennett)
  10. Richie Foley as Oliver (Jason Marsden)
  11. Ken of the Pokemon Mystery Club as Diesel (Marc Thompson)
  12. Yoshi as Stepney (Andrew Sabiston)
  13. Frederick J. Dukes as Class 40 (Michael Dobson)
  14. Sonic The Hedgehog as Bertie (Jason Griffith)
  15. Superman as Harold (Tim Daily)
  16. Lance Alvers as Bulgy (Christopher Grey)
  17. Steven Ketchum as Sir Topham Hatt (Dan Green)
  18. Ash Ketchum as Thomas (Veronica Taylor)
  19. Donkey Kong as BoCo (Richard Yearwood)
  20. Bailey as Annie (Emily Niebo)
  21. Marina as Clarabel (Lisa Ortiz)
  22. Rikochet as Skarloey (Carlos Alazraqui)
  23. Ramon "Gug" Gugleano as Sir Handel (Carlos Alazraqui)
  24. Casey Matthews as Rusty (Andrew Decker)
  25. Heathcliff as Trevor (Mel Blanc)

Episodes

  1. Virgil Takes Charge
  2. Pop Goes Ken
  3. Ken's Devious Deed
  4. A Close Shave For Virgil
  5. Ozzy's Hamster
  6. Ken Does It Again
  7. All At Sea
  8. Lance Alvers
  9. Bowled Out

Transcript

Virgil Takes Charge

  • Alex: Do you know what?
  • George Carlin: Asked Alex.
  • Terry: What?
  • George Carlin: Grunted Terry.
  • Alex: Do you know what?
  • Terry: Silly!
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Terry: Of course I don't know what. If you don't tell me what what is.
  • Alex: Steven says that the work in the yard is too heavy for me. He's getting a bigger character to help me.
  • Raimundo: Rubbish!
  • George Carlin: Said Raimundo.
  • Raimundo: Any character could do it. If you work hard and chatterless, this yard would be a sweeter, a better and a happier place.
  • George Carlin: Alex went off to get some pets.
  • Alex: That stupid old traffic light.
  • George Carlin: He thought. He was remembering the time he misunderstood a traffic light and gone backwards instead of forwards.
  • Alex: No one listens to me now. They think I'm a silly little kid and order me about. I'll show them, I'll show them.
  • George Carlin: But he didn't know how. By the end of the afternoon, he felt tired and unhappy. He brought some pets to the station.
  • Steven: Hello, Alex.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven.
  • Steven: You look tired.
  • Alex: Yes sir, I am sir. I don't know if I'm standing on my head or on my feet.
  • Steven: You look the right way up to me.
  • George Carlin: Laughed Steven.
  • Steven: Cheer up. The new character is bigger than you and can properly do the work alone. Would you like to help build my new harbour? Ash and Jackie will help too.
  • Alex: Oh yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
  • George Carlin: The new character arrived.
  • Steven: What's your name?
  • George Carlin: Asked Steven.
  • Virgil: Montague, sir, but I'm usually called Virgil. They say I waddle. I don't really, sir, but I like Virgil better than Montague.
  • Steven: Good. Virgil it shall be. Here, Alex, show Virgil around.
  • George Carlin: The two characters went off together. Soon they were very busy. Raimundo, Terry and Shaggy watched Virgil quietly doing his work.
  • Shaggy: He seems a simple sort of character.
  • Raimundo: We'll have some fun and order him about.
  • Shaggy, Terry and Raimundo: (quacking noises) Wheesh!
  • George Carlin: Smoke billowed everywhere. Alex was cross, but Virgil took no notice.
  • Virgil: They'll get tired of it soon. Do they tell you to do things, Alex?
  • Alex: Yes they do.
  • George Carlin: Answered Alex.
  • Virgil: Right.
  • George Carlin: Said Virgil.
  • Virgil: We'll soon stop that nonsense.
  • George Carlin: He whispered something.
  • Virgil: We'll do it later.
  • George Carlin: Steven was looking forward to hot buttered toast for tea at home. Suddenly, he heard an extroitnary noise.
  • Shaggy, Terry and Raimundo: Wheesh! (snorting noises)
  • Steven: Bother!
  • George Carlin: He said and hurried to the yard. Virgil and Alex calmly sat on the switches outside the shed, refusing to let the characters in. Terry, Raimundo and Shaggy were furious.
  • Steven: Stop that noise!
  • George Carlin: Bellowed Steven.
  • Terry: They won't let us in!
  • George Carlin: Hissed Terry.
  • Steven: Virgil, explain this behavior.
  • Virgil: Beg pardon, sir, but I'm a teenager. We do our work without fuss, but begging your pardon, sir. Alex and I will be glad if you like to inform these, um, characters that we only take orders from you.
  • (Raimundo and Terry blew their whistles loudly)
  • Steven: Quiet!
  • George Carlin: Said Steven.
  • Steven: Alex and Virgil, I am pleased with your work today, but not with your behavior tonight. You have caused a disturbance.
  • George Carlin: Terry, Shaggy and Raimundo sniggered.
  • Steven: As for you.
  • George Carlin: Thundered Steven.
  • Steven: You've been worse. You made a disturbance. Virgil is quite right. This is my railway and I give the orders.
  • George Carlin: After Alex went away, Virgil was left to manage alone. He did so...easily!

Pop Goes Ken

  • George Carlin: Virgil is very proud of being a teenager. He talks endlessly about it. But he works hard, too, and makes everything go like clockwork. It was a splendid day. The Beedrill and Arcanine behaved well. The passengers even stopped grumbling. But the characters didn't like having to bustle about.
  • Virgil: There are two ways of doing things.
  • George Carlin: Virgil told them.
  • Virgil: The teenager way, or the wrong way. I'm a teenager and...
  • Shaggy, Terry and Raimundo: Don't we know it!
  • George Carlin: They groaned. The characters were glad when the visitor came. He purred smoothly towards him. Steven introduce him.
  • Steven: Here is Ken. I have agreed to give him a trial. He needs to learn. Please teach him, Virgil.
  • Ken: Good morning.
  • George Carlin: Purred Ken in an oily voice.
  • Ken: Please to meet you, Virgil. Is that Raimundo and Shaggy and Terry too? I am delighted to meet such famous characters.
  • George Carlin: The silly characters were flattered.
  • Characters: He has very good manners.
  • George Carlin: They murmured.
  • Characters: We're pleased to have in our yard.
  • George Carlin: Virgil had his doubts.
  • Virgil: Come on!
  • George Carlin: He said. Ken purred after him.
  • Ken: Your worth Ste...
  • Virgil: Steven to you.
  • George Carlin: Ordered Virgil. Ken looked hurt.
  • Ken: Your worthy Steven thinks I need to learn. He is mistaken. We villains don't need to learn. We know everything. We come to a yard and improvement. We are revolutionary.
  • Virgil: Oh!
  • George Carlin: Said Virgil.
  • Virgil: If you are revo-thingummy, perhaps you would collect my Beedrill while I fetch Terry's Arcanine.
  • George Carlin: Ken delighted to show off, purred away. When Virgil returned, Ken was trying to take some Beedrill from a siding. They were old and empty. They've not been touch for a long time. Ken found them hard to move. Pull! Push! Backwards! Forwards!
  • Beedrill: Oh! Oh!
  • George Carlin: The Beedrill groaned.
  • Beedrill: We can't! We won't!
  • George Carlin: Virgil watched with interest. Ken lost patience.
  • Ken: Grrr!
  • George Carlin: He roared, and gave a great heave. The Beedrill jerked forward.
  • Beedrill: Ohhh!
  • George Carlin: They screamed.
  • Beedrill: We can't! We won't!
  • George Carlin: Some of their brakes snapped, and the gear jammed in the sleepers.
  • Ken: Grrrr!
  • Virgil: Ha, ha, ha!
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Virgil. Ken recovered and try to push the Beedrill back, but they wouldn't move. Virgil ran quietly around to collect the other Beedrill.
  • Virgil: Thank you for arranging these, Ken. I must go now.
  • Ken: Don't you want this lot?
  • Virgil: No thank you.
  • George Carlin: Ken gulped.
  • Ken: And I've taken all this trouble? Why didn't you tell me?
  • Virgil: You never asked me. Besides.
  • George Carlin: Said Virgil.
  • Virgil: You were having such fun being revo-whatever-it-was-you-said. Goodbye.
  • Ken: Grrrr!
  • George Carlin: Ken had to help the workmen clear the mess. He hated it. All the Beedrill were laughing and singing at him.
  • Beedrill: Beedrill are waiting in the yard, tackling them with ease'll, show the world what I can do, gaily boasts Ken, in and out he creeps about, like a big black weasel, when he pulls the wrong Beedrill out, Pop goes Ken!
  • Ken: Grrr!
  • George Carlin: Growled Ken, and scuttled away to sulk in the shed.

Ken's Devious Deed

  • George Carlin: Ken of the Pokemon Mystery Club was sulking. The Beedrill would not stop singing rudely at him. Virgil was horrified.
  • Virgil: Shut up!
  • George Carlin: He ordered, and bumped them hard.
  • Virgil: I'm sorry our Beedrill were rude to you, Ken,
  • George Carlin: Ken was still furious.
  • Ken: It's all your fault. You made them laugh at me.
  • Shaggy: Nonsense.
  • George Carlin: Said Shaggy.
  • Shaggy: Virgil would never do that. We characters have our differences, but we never talked about them to the Beedrill. That would be dis...dis...
  • Terry: Disgraceful.
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Raimundo: Disgusting.
  • George Carlin: Put in Raimundo.
  • Shaggy: Despicable.
  • George Carlin: Finished Shaggy. Ken hated Virgil. He wanted him to be sent away, so he made a plan. He was going to tell lies about Virgil. Next day, he spoke to the Beedrill.
  • Ken: I see you like jokes. You made a good joke about me yesterday. I laughed and laughed. Virgil told me one about Terry. I'll whisper it. Don't tell Terry I told you.
  • George Carlin: And he sniggered away.
  • Beedrill: Ha, ha, ha!
  • George Carlin: Guffawed the Beedrill.
  • Beedrill: Terry will be cross with Virgil when he knows. Let's tell him and get back at Virgil for bumping us.
  • George Carlin: They laughed rudely at the characters as they went by. Soon Terry, Shaggy and Raimundo found out why.
  • Terry: Disgraceful.
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Raimundo: Disgusting.
  • George Carlin: Put in Raimundo.
  • Shaggy: Despicable.
  • George Carlin: Finished Shaggy.
  • Shaggy: We cannot allow it.
  • George Carlin: They consulted together.
  • Shaggy: Yes.
  • George Carlin: They said.
  • Shaggy: He did it to us, we'll do it to him and see how he likes it.
  • George Carlin: Virgil was tired out. The Beedrill had been cheeky and troublesome. He wanted a rest in the shed. The three characters barred his way.
  • Terry, Raimundo and Shaggy: Hooosh!
  • Raimundo: Keep out!
  • Virgil: Stop fooling.
  • George Carlin: Said Virgil.
  • Virgil: I'm tired.
  • Terry, Raimundo and Shaggy: So are we.
  • George Carlin: Hissed the characters.
  • Terry, Raimundo and Shaggy: We're tired of you. We like Ken. We don't like you. You tell tales about us to the Beedrill.
  • Virgil: I don't!
  • Terry, Raimundo and Shaggy: You do!
  • Virgil: I don't!
  • Terry, Raimundo and Shaggy: You do!
  • George Carlin: Steven came to stop the noise.
  • Terry: Virgil called me a galloping sausage!
  • George Carlin: Spluttered Terry.
  • Raimundo: Rusty red scrap-irons!
  • George Carlin: Hissed Raimundo.
  • Shaggy: I'm old square wheels!
  • George Carlin: Fumed Shaggy.
  • Steven: Well, Virgil?
  • George Carlin: Virgil considered.
  • Virgil: I only wish sir.
  • George Carlin: He said gravely.
  • Virgil: That I thought of those names myself. If the dome fits...
  • Steven: (clearing throat)
  • Terry, Raimundo and Shaggy: He made Beedrill laugh at us.
  • George Carlin: Accused the characters. Steven recovered. He been trying not to laugh himself.
  • Steven: Did you, Virgil?
  • Virgil: Certainly not, sir. No character will be as mean as that.
  • George Carlin: Ken lurked up.
  • Steven: Now, Ken, you heard what Virgil said.
  • Ken: I can't understand it, sir, to think that Virgil of all characters. I'm dreadfully grieved, sir, but no nothing.
  • Steven: I see.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven. Ken squirmed and hope he didn't.
  • Steven: I'm sorry, Virgil, but you must go to Kevin's station for a while. I know he'll be glad to see him.
  • Virgil: As you wish, sir.
  • George Carlin: Virgil trundled sadly away, while Ken smirked with triumph.

A Close Shave For Virgil

  • George Carlin: Virgil Hawkins walked sadly to Kevin's station.
  • Virgil: It's not fair.
  • George Carlin: He complained.
  • Virgil: Ken has been telling lies about me and made Steven and all the characters think I'm horrid.
  • George Carlin: Kevin smiled.
  • Kevin: I know you weren't, and so does Steven. You wait and see. Why don't you help me with these Beedrill?
  • George Carlin: Virgil felt happier with Kevin, and set to work at once. The Beedrill were silly, heavy and noisy. The two characters have to work hard pushing and pulling all afternoon. At last, they reached the top of the hill.
  • Virgil: Goodbye!
  • George Carlin: Whistled Virgil, and rolled gently over the crossing to the other line. Virgil love coasting down the hill, running easily with the wind whistling past. Suddenly...
  • Virgil: It was the conductor's warning whistle.
  • Beedrill: Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!
  • George Carlin: Laughed the Beedrill.
  • Beedrill: We've broken away, we've broken away! Chase him, bump him, throw him off the rails!
  • George Carlin: They yelled.
  • Driver: Hurry, Virgil, hurry!
  • George Carlin: Said the driver. They raced through Kevin's station, but the Beedrill were catching up.
  • Driver: As fast as we can, then they'll catch us gradually.
  • George Carlin: The driver was gaining control.
  • Driver: Another clear mile and we'll do it. Oh, glory, look at that!
  • George Carlin: Raimundo was just pulling out on they're line through the station ahead. Any minute, there could be a crash.
  • Driver: It's up to you now, Virgil.
  • George Carlin: Cried the driver. Virgil put every ounce of wait and steam against the Beedrill.
  • Virgil: It's too late!
  • George Carlin: Virgil groaned. He veered into a siding where Wario had sent off shop. He was shaving a customer.
  • (Crash!)
  • George Carlin: The silly Beedrill were knocked their conductor off his van, and left him far behind after he had whistled a warning. But the Beedrill didn't care. They were feeling very pleased with themselves.
  • Virgil: Beg pardon, Sir.
  • George Carlin: Gasped Virgil.
  • Virgil: Excuse my intrusion.
  • Wario: No I won't.
  • George Carlin: Said Wario.
  • Wario: You frightened my customers! I'll teach you!
  • George Carlin: And he lathered Virgil's face all other. Poor Virgil! Ash was helping to pull the Beedrill away when Steven arrived.
  • Wario: I do not like characters popping through my walls.
  • George Carlin: Fumed Wario.
  • Steven: I appreciate your feelings.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Steven.
  • Steven: But you must know that this character and his crew had prevented a serious accident. It was a very close shave.
  • Wario: Oh.
  • George Carlin: Said Wario.
  • Wario: Oh! Excuse me.
  • George Carlin: He filled the basin of water to wash Virgil's face.
  • Wario: I'm sorry. I didn't know you were been a brave character.
  • Virgil: That's all right, sir. I didn't know that either.
  • Steven: You were very brave indeed.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven.
  • Steven: I'm proud of you.
  • George Carlin: Steven watched the rescue operation, then he had more news to Virgil.
  • Steven: And when you are properly washed and mended, you are coming home.
  • Virgil: Home, sir? Do you mean the yard?
  • Steven: Of course.
  • Virgil: But sir, they don't like me. They like Ken.
  • Steven: Not now. I never believed Ken, so I sent him packing. The characters were sorry and want you back.
  • George Carlin: A few days later when he came home, there was a really rousing welcome for Virgil Hawkins.

Ozzy's Hamster

  • George Carlin: Virgil Hawkins works hard in the hallways at the Cartoon University. Sometimes, he pulled coaches. Sometimes he pushed Beedrill. But whatever the work, Virgil got the job done without fuss. One day, Virgil was resting in the shed when Steven arrived.
  • Steven: Your work in the yard had been good. Would you like to have a branch line to your own.
  • Virgil: Yes please, sir.
  • George Carlin: Replied Virgil. So Virgil took charge of his new branch line. The responsibility delighted him. The line runs along a coast by sandy beaches till it meets a port were big ships come in. Virgil enjoyed exploring every curve and corner of the line. Sea breezes swirled his smoke high into the air and his green paint glistened in the sunlight.
  • Virgil: This is just like being on holiday.
  • George Carlin: He thought.
  • Driver: Well you know what they say.
  • George Carlin: Laughed his driver.
  • Driver: A change is as good as a rest.
  • George Carlin: Soon, Virgil was busier than ever. Steven was building a new station at the port. Virgil pulled the heavy Beedrill whenever they were needed. Sonic looked after Virgil's passengers and the other characters helped too. But the work took a long time. Noise and dust filled the air.
  • Jackie: Don't worry.
  • George Carlin: Whistled Jackie.
  • Jackie: The station is nearly finished.
  • Virgil: And on time, too.
  • George Carlin: Said Virgil thankfully. Virgil felt his responsibility deeply and talked endlessly about it.
  • Virgil: You don't understand, Ozzy, how much Steven relies on me.
  • Ozzy: Och aye.
  • George Carlin: Muttered Ozzy sleepily.
  • Virgil: I'm a teenager, and I...
  • Ozzy: Quack, quack, quack.
  • Virgil: What?
  • Ozzy: You heard. Quack, quack you go. Sounds like you had an egg layed. Now wheesh and let a cell sleep.
  • Virgil: Quack yourself!
  • George Carlin: Said Virgil indignantly. Later, he spoke to his driver.
  • Virgil: Ozzy says I quack, as if I laid an egg.
  • Fireman: Quack do you?
  • George Carlin: Pondered his fireman. He whispered something to Virgil and his driver. They were going to play a joke on Ozzy and pay him back for teasing Virgil. The characters were busy for the rest of the day and nothing more was said. Not even a quack. But when at last, Ozzy was asleep, Virgil's driver and fireman popped something into his water tank. Next morning when Ozzy for water, he found that he had an unexpected passenger aboard. A small white hamster popped out of his water tank.
  • Ozzy: Now look who's behind this.
  • George Carlin: Laughed Ozzy. The hamster was tamed, she shared the fireman's sandwiches and rode in the tender. The other characters enjoyed teasing Ozzy about her. Presently, she grew tired of travelling and hopped off to the station and there she stayed. That night, Ozzy's driver and fireman got busy and in the morning when Virgil's crew arrived to look him over they laughed and laughed.
  • Driver: Look, Virgil. Look what's under your bunker. It's a nest box with an egg in it.
  • George Carlin: Ozzy opened a sleepy eye.
  • Ozzy: Well, well, well. You must've laid it in the night, Virgil. All are for yours.
  • George Carlin: Then Virgil laughed too.
  • Virgil: You win, Ozzy. It did take a clever character to get the better of you.
  • George Carlin: There's a pond near the hamster station. Here she often swims and welcomes the trains as they passed by. The stationmaster calls her Tori. But to everyone else, she is always Ozzy's Hamster.

Ken Does It Again

  • George Carlin: Virgil and Alex enjoyed working at the university, pulling and pushing Beedrill with cargo to and from the hallways. But one morning, the characters were exhausted. The harbour was busier than ever. Steven promised that another character would be found to help them.
  • Alex: Huh. It's about time.
  • George Carlin: Said Alex.
  • Virgil: I ached so much I can hardly get my wheels to move.
  • George Carlin: Agreed Virgil. They waited for the character to arrive. It came as a shock when he did.
  • Ken: Good morning.
  • George Carlin: Squirmed Ken in his oily voice. The two characters had not work with Ken for a long time.
  • Virgil: What are you doing here?
  • George Carlin: Gasped Virgil.
  • Ken: Your worth Ste...er, Steven sent me. I hope you are please to see me again. I have to shunt some dreadful tiresome Beedrill.
  • Alex: Shunt where?
  • George Carlin: Said Alex suspiciously.
  • Ken: Where? Why from here to there.
  • George Carlin: Purred Ken.
  • Ken: And then again from there to here. Easy, isn't it?
  • George Carlin: With that, Ken as if to make himself clear bumped some Beedrill hard.
  • Beedrill: Ooh!
  • George Carlin: Screamed the Beedrill.
  • Ken: Grrr!
  • George Carlin: Growled Ken. Alex and Virgil were horrified. They did not trust Ken at all. They refuse to work and did not leave their shed. Steven was enjoying his tea and iced bun when the telephone rang.
  • Steven: So there's trouble in the harbour yard? I'll be there right away.
  • George Carlin: Ken was working loudly and alone. Cargo lay on the key. Ships and passengers were delayed. Everyone was complaining about Steven's Railway. Alex and Virgil were sulking in their shed.
  • Steven: What's all this?
  • George Carlin: Demaded Steven.
  • Alex: We're on strike, sir.
  • George Carlin: Said Alex nervously.
  • Virgil: Yes.
  • George Carlin: Added Virgil.
  • Virgil: Beg pardon, sir, but we don't work with Ken, sir. You said you sent him packing, sir.
  • Steven: I have to give Ken a second chance.
  • George Carlin: Replied Steven.
  • Steven: I'm trying to help by bringing Ken here. Now you must help me he is the only character available.
  • George Carlin: Alex and Virgil went sadly back to work. Next day, things were no better. Ken's driver did not put on his brakes on properly and Ken started to move. He went bump straight into Alex.
  • Ken: Wake up there, Alex.
  • George Carlin: Scowled Ken.
  • Ken: You have work to do.
  • George Carlin: He didn't even say he was sorry to Alex. Later, Ken bumped the Beedrill so hard that the loads went everywhere.
  • Alex: What would Steven say?
  • George Carlin: Gasped Alex.
  • Virgil: He won't like it.
  • George Carlin: Said Virgil.
  • Ken: So who's going to tell you I wonder? Two goody-goody tattletales like you I suppose?
  • George Carlin: Alex and Virgil did not wanna be tattletales, so they said nothing. Ken thinking he can getting away from his bad behavior was ruder than ever. Next day, he was shunting Beedrill full of China Clay. He banged the Beedrill hard into the buffers, but the buffers weren't secure. The silly Beedrill were sunked! Steven heard the news. The Beedrill were hoisted safely from the sea but the clay was lost. Steven spoke severly to Ken.
  • Steven: The harbour master has tell me anything. Things weren't much better here before you arrived. I shall not be inviting you back. Now Virgil and Alex, I hope you don't mind having handle the work by yourselves again.
  • Alex: Oh no, Sir.
  • Virgil: Yes please, Sir.
  • George Carlin: Replied the characters. Whistling cheerfully, they puff back to work while Ken sulk slowly away.

All At Sea

  • George Carlin: Alex and Virgil like working at the Cartoon University. On a clear summer's night, there's no better place to be. The big ships bring passengers. Cargo ships carry machinery and other things. Virgil and Alex puffed backwards and forwards with the crates of cargo as they are loaded and unloaded by the keyside. One morning, Virgil and Alex noticed that the horizon was packed with sails flapping against the blue sky.
  • Virgil: I wish I could sail to faraway lands.
  • George Carlin: Sighed Virgil.
  • Alex: Characters can't go sailing.
  • George Carlin: Snorted Alex.
  • Alex: Because characters can't float.
  • George Carlin: Virgil still had his dreams. Suddenly, they were rudely interrupted.
  • Superman: Wakey, wakey.
  • George Carlin: Hovered Superman.
  • Virgil: I'm looking at the boats.
  • George Carlin: Replied Virgil.
  • Superman: That's the regatta. Lots of boats, lots of races. Great fun. I hover around in case I'm needed.
  • Virgil: Do you go to the horizon?
  • George Carlin: Asked Virgil.
  • Superman: Yes and beyond.
  • Alex: I didn't know there was a beyond.
  • George Carlin: Whispered Alex.
  • Virgil: Do you go to other places at sea?
  • George Carlin: Continued Virgil.
  • Superman: Certainly. I can land on ships you know. Anywhere, anytime. Goodbye.
  • George Carlin: Virgil sighed. He went on talking about the regatta all day. Alex lost patience.
  • Alex: Well, Virgil, I rather had my wheels on solid ground. Our rails can take us to all the places we can ever wish to see.
  • (We hear a siren wailing)
  • Virgil's Driver: That's an emergency.
  • George Carlin: Called Virgil's driver.
  • Virgil's Driver: I'll check with the harbourmaster.
  • George Carlin: He returned with bad news.
  • Virgil's Driver: A man taking part in the regatta had hurt his hand. We're to take him to the hospital at the next station. Superman's bringing him now. Come on.
  • (Virgil hurries to the scene just in time to see Superman land)
  • Superman: Good to see you again, Virgil.
  • George Carlin: Whirred Superman as he landed carefully on the platform. The man was gently helped to safety.
  • Superman: My job is to stay at sea in case of other emergencies. Otherwise I will take this gentleman to hospital myself. Must fly. Goodbye.
  • George Carlin: Virgil set off on his journey. Soon he was steaming well and his wheels were thundering along the track. When they reached the station, the man thanked everyone and Sonic got ready to take him to the hospital.
  • Sonic: You look splendid flying along the line, Virgil.
  • George Carlin: Bloat Sonic.
  • Sonic: No wonder they called you a teenager.
  • Virgil: Thank you, Sonic. Alex's right.
  • George Carlin: He thought to himself.
  • Virgil: Characters are happiest when their feet are firmly on the rails.
  • George Carlin: That night, Alex and Virgil stayed a little longer at the key. The air was warm and the sea calmed.
  • Virgil: There's a shooting star.
  • George Carlin: Said Virgil.
  • Alex: Don't be daft.
  • George Carlin: Laughed Alex.
  • Alex: It's Superman. Look, he's hovering overhead.
  • George Carlin: Something fluttered down towards Virgil. His driver caught it.
  • Virgil's Driver: It's a flag from the regatta. Superman's giving it to you as a present, Virgil.
  • Virgil: That was kind of Superman.
  • George Carlin: Whispered Virgil.
  • Virgil: He may have whirly arms instead of wheels. But he seems to understand just what a character needs.
  • George Carlin: Virgil still wonders about the lands beyond the horizon. But I think he knows that, sometimes, the best travels are those we can only dream about. Don't you?

Lance Alvers

  • George Carlin: It was a special holiday on the land of Netflix. Sonic the Hedgehog was working harder than ever before. All the characters were busy too. Virgil was waiting for his next journey. Near him stood a bad guy. But he didn't look friendly like Sonic. The bad guy growled as he gazed at the happy passengers.
  • Lance: Stupid nonsense.
  • George Carlin: He grumbled.
  • Lance: I wouldn't have brought them if I've known. I did have a breakdown or something.
  • Virgil: I'm glad you didn't.
  • George Carlin: Smiled Virgil.
  • Virgil: You had spoiled their fun.
  • Lance: Bah! Enjoyment is all you characters lived for. One day railways will be ripped up.
  • George Carlin: Virgil felt shocked at such an idea.
  • Virgil: We have a friend called Sonic and he's a hedgehog. But he likes the railway. Sometimes he teases us about it, but he'd never want to see it ripped up.
  • Lance: Heh!
  • George Carlin: Growled the bad guy.
  • Lance: I know Sonic. He's too small in size to be in any use.
  • George Carlin: Virgil took no notice.
  • Virgil: That bus is silly.
  • George Carlin: He thought as he steamed away. At the junction, Virgil told Richie all about him.
  • Richie: I call him Lance.
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Richie and then he puffed happily away. But that afternoon when the two characters met again, Richie was no longer laughing.
  • Richie: Lance's friend had come.
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • Richie: He's rude too. He's taking Lance's passengers home and leaving Lance free to steal ours.
  • Virgil: But he can't.
  • George Carlin: Objected Virgil.
  • Richie: Lance says he can get them to the big station before us.
  • Virgil: Rubbish!
  • George Carlin: Replied Virgil.
  • Virgil: It's much farther by road.
  • Richie: Yeah.
  • George Carlin: Continued Richie.
  • Richie: But Lance says he knows a shortcut.
  • George Carlin: That evening, the characters were preparing for the homeward rush.
  • Virgil: Where are the passengers?
  • George Carlin: They wondered.
  • Richie: Look!
  • George Carlin: Shrilled Richie.
  • Richie: Look at Lance. He's a mean scarlet deciever.
  • George Carlin: Lance was wearing a large sign saying: Railway Bus.
  • Lance: Yaa boo snubs.
  • George Carlin: He jeered as he roared away.
  • Virgil: Come on.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Virgil to his coaches.
  • Virgil: Let's see what he's up to.
  • George Carlin: Virgil wanted to get back at Lance, but he wasn't sure how. Then in the distance, Virgil saw a man waving a red flag. That meant danger. The line here crosses a narrow road and there was Lance wedged firmly under the bridge.
  • Virgil: So this was his shortcut.
  • George Carlin: Chuckled Virgil.
  • Passengers: He tricked us.
  • George Carlin: Shouted Lance's passengers.
  • Passengers: He said he was a railway bus, but he wouldn't accept our return tickets. He wanted us to think railways are no good.
  • George Carlin: Virgil's crew examined the bridge.
  • Virgil's Crew: It's risky, but we must help the passengers.
  • Virgil: Passengers are urgent.
  • George Carlin: Agreed Virgil. Virgil slowly and carefully set off across the bridge. Lance wailed as he felt the bridge quiver.
  • Lance: (groaning) Stop!
  • George Carlin: He shouted.
  • Lance: It might fall on me.
  • Virgil: That would serve you right for telling lies.
  • George Carlin: Said Virgil. But the bridge didn't collapse. Virgil made good time and all the passengers caught their trains. The bridge is now mended, but not unfortunately Lance and his ways. He never learned sense. He's a henhouse and his lies can do no harm. The hens never listened to him anyway.

Bowled Out

  • George Carlin: Yoshi's visit to Steven's town was coming to an end.
  • Steven: We shall miss you.
  • George Carlin: Said Steven. Then he turned his attention to all the other characters.
  • Steven: My railway was very busy but I'm pleased with you, but you need help. A diesel was all was available. Please do your best to avoid any, uh, ahem, disturbances.
  • Virgil: What does that mean?
  • George Carlin: Whispered Virgil.
  • Raimundo: That means this diesel is difficult.
  • George Carlin: Snapped Raimundo. And he was. The diesel surveyed the shed.
  • Frederick: Not bad. I've seen worse. At least you're all clean.
  • George Carlin: The characters glared.
  • Frederick: It's not your fault, but Steven should scrap you and get characters like me. A fill of oil, a touch of a start and I'm off. No bother, no waiting. They had to fuss round you for hours before you're ready.
  • George Carlin: The characters were furious! Next morning, they held an indignation meeting around the turntable.
  • Terry: Disgraceful!
  • Raimundo: Disgusting!
  • Shaggy: Despicable!
  • Ozzy: To say such things to us.
  • George Carlin: Cried Ozzy and Drix.
  • Drix: It's too teach him a lesson we be wanting. But how do we do it?
  • George Carlin: Their chance came sooner and they expected. The diesel was purring comfortable. An inspector watch the fitter making final adjustments. The wind tugged the inspector's hat. The diesel was ready.
  • Frederick: Look at me, Virgil and Yoshi. Now I'll show you something.
  • George Carlin: He rolled proudly toward his coaches. Then, it happened.
  • (Frederick starts to make bad sounds and breaks down)
  • George Carlin: Shaking and spluttering, the diesel stopped. Meanwhile the inspector was looking for his hat. The diesel seethed through furious. Virgil and Yoshi pushed him back to the shed.
  • Inspector: My hat!
  • George Carlin: Explained the inspector.
  • Inspector: You've sucked it through your air intake!
  • Steven: Bother your hat. The heavy trains' due out. You have to take it, Virgil, Yoshi, will you help please?
  • Yoshi: Thank you, sir.
  • George Carlin: Cried Yoshi.
  • Yoshi: I like a good long run on my last day.
  • George Carlin: The characters were soon ready.
  • Steven: Terry will take over from halfway so get the train in there. Good luck.
  • Yoshi: Don't worry.
  • George Carlin: Smiled Yoshi.
  • Yoshi: We'll get there and be early too.
  • George Carlin: The cavalcade moved carefully over the rails and out to the open line.
  • Yoshi: Now for a sprint.
  • George Carlin: Puffed Yoshi.
  • Virgil: I'm ready when you are.
  • George Carlin: Replied Virgil. Soon they were whizzing through Kevin's station. At next, they charged at Terry's Hill beyond. They felt the drag of the heavy coaches here. It was hard work. At last they were running smoothly along the line toward the big station.
  • Terry: Hello, you're early!
  • George Carlin: Said Terry.
  • Terry: That's one of the headlamp for old diesel.
  • Yoshi: Raimundo says he's sick as boiler sludge and sulking in the shed.
  • Terry: Serves him right were saying were out of date!
  • George Carlin: And Terry chortled away. Next day, everyone came to say goodbye to Yoshi.
  • Characters: Come back and see you soon!
  • George Carlin: Whistled the characters.
  • Yoshi: And you're always welcome at my bluebell railway too.
  • George Carlin: Replied Yoshi. Then he puffed away. What about diesel? He'd slipped out when no one was looking. But he left two things behind: a rather nasty smell and a battered bowler hat.

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