Parody Cast Members
- Grover as Sonic
- Big Bird as Mario
- Elmo as Tails
- Announcer as Himself
- Amy Rose, Cream the Rabbit, Vector, Charmy Bee, Big the Cat, and Rotor the Walrus as Quarantiners
- Mr. Snuffleupagus as Luigi
- Bert as Heavy
- Ernie as Bomb
- Count Von Count as Monkey Khan
- Cookie Monster as Shadow
[Mario is walking down the street, holding his stomach and looking pale.]
Mario: Ugh, I feel like I'm gonna blow chunks of food!
[Mario vomits all over the main apartment steps, and then collapses; a second later, Tails appears.]
Tails: Oh, no! Mario has the plumber flu! (Sonic shows up)
Sonic: The word of the day is: "quarantine".
[As the white word Quarantine shows up (and Sonic spells it, changing the letters to yellow), several quarantining people block off the place where Mario vomited and take Tails off-screen to safety.]
Sonic: Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E: "quarantine".
[The next shot is of Mario is lying in bed in a quarantining medical room and hooked to a heart rate monitor, and doctors are examining him.]
Mario: Luigi (coughs), is that you?
Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating. (they walk away, and Luigi shows up)
Luigi: Hi, Mario. I'm so sorry you're sick.
Mario: I'm scared, Luigi. Thank God you can't get it since you're not real.
[Mario then flatlines, and dies.]
Luigi: Yeah, thank G-
[Luigi chokes, dies, and vanishes in a cloud of dust. We then snap to Monkey Khan giving vaccines to Heavy, Bomb, and Shadow.]
Monkey Khan: One vaccine! (laughs) Two vaccines! (laughs)
[Shadow eats his own vaccine, and we snap to a separate bit with three dancing kids and one dead kid that holds a flower.]
Kids: (singing) One of these kids is not like the others. One of these kids is dead!
[The final shot pans up to the quarantine-taped Angel Island sign.]
Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letter CDC.
[We conclude with static as always.]