• Grover as The Aardvark
  • Big Bird as Pink Panther
  • Elmo as The Ant
  • Announcer as Himself
  • Pink Panther's Girlfriend, The Blue Racer, Simone Clouseau, Crazylegs Crane, Misterjaw, and The Dogfather as Quarantiners
  • Aloysius Snuffleupagus as Hoot Kloot
  • Bert as Tijuana Toad #1
  • Ernie as Tijuana Toad #2
  • Count Von Count as SM Clouseau
  • Cookie Monster as Charles Dreyfuss


[Pink Panther is walking down the street, holding his stomach and looking pale.]

Pink Panther: Ugh, I feel like I'm gonna blow chunks of hot dogs!

[Pink Panther vomits all over the main apartment steps, and then collapses; a second later, The Ant appears.]

Ant: Oh, no! Pink Panther has the panther flu! (The Aardvark shows up)

Aardvark: The word of the day is: "quarantine".

[As the white word Quarantine shows up (and Aardvark spells it, changing the letters to yellow), several quarantining people block off the place where James vomited and take Percy off-screen to safety.]

Aardvark: Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E: "quarantine".

[The next shot is of James is lying in bed in a quarantining medical room and hooked to a heart rate monitor, and doctors are examining him.]

Aardvark: Hoot Kloot (coughs), is that you?

Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating. (they walk away, and Toby shows up)

Hoot Kloot: Hi, Pink Panther. I'm so sorry you're sick.

Pink Panther: I'm scared, Toby. Thank God you can't get it since you're not real.

Pink Panther then flatlines, and dies.]

Hoot Kloot: Yeah, thank G-

[Hoot Kloot chokes, dies, and vanishes in a cloud of dust. We then snap to SM Clouseau giving vaccines to Tijuana Toad #1, Tijuana Toad #2, and Charles Dreyfuss.]

SM Clouseau: One vaccine! (laughs) Two vaccines! (laughs)

[Charles Dreyfuss eats his own vaccine, and we snap to a separate bit with three dancing kids and one dead kid that holds a flower.]

Kids: (singing) One of these kids is not like the others. One of these kids is dead!

[The final shot pans up to the quarantine-taped Sesame Street sign.]

Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letter CDC.

[We conclude with static as always.]

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