Parody Cast Members

  • Grover as Thomas
  • Big Bird as James
  • Elmo as Percy
  • Announcer as Himself
  • Emily, Molly, BoCo, Duck, Edward, and Duck as Quarantiners
  • Aloysius Snuffleupagus as Toby
  • Bert as Donald
  • Ernie as Douglas
  • Count Von Count as Oliver
  • Cookie Monster as Gordon


[James is chugging down the railroad, holding his stomach and looking pale.]

James: Ugh, I feel like I'm gonna blow chunks of coal!

[James vomits all over the main apartment steps, and then collapses; a second later, Percy appears.]

Percy: Oh, no! James has the train flu! (Thomas shows up)

Thomas: The word of the day is: "quarantine".

[As the white word Quarantine shows up (and Thomas spells it, changing the letters to yellow), several quarantining people block off the place where James vomited and take Percy off-screen to safety.]

Thomas: Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E: "quarantine".

[The next shot is of James is lying in bed in a quarantining medical room and hooked to a heart rate monitor, and doctors are examining him.]

James: Toby (coughs), is that you?

Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating. (they walk away, and Toby shows up)

Toby: Hi, James. I'm so sorry you're sick.

James: I'm scared, Toby. Thank God you can't get it since you're not real.

James then flatlines, and dies.]

Tob: Yeah, thank G-

[Toby chokes, dies, and vanishes in a cloud of dust. We then snap to Oliver giving vaccines to Donald, Douglas, and Gordon.]

Oliver: One vaccine! (laughs) Two vaccines! (laughs)

[Gordon eats his own vaccine, and we snap to a separate bit with three dancing kids and one dead kid that holds a flower.]

Kids: (singing) One of these kids is not like the others. One of these kids is dead!

[The final shot pans up to the quarantine-taped Island of Sodor sign.]

Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letter CDC.

[We conclude with static as always.]