Parody Cast Members
- Grover as Thomas
- Big Bird as James
- Elmo as Percy
- Announcer as Himself
- Emily, Molly, BoCo, Duck, Edward, and Duck as Quarantiners
- Aloysius Snuffleupagus as Toby
- Bert as Donald
- Ernie as Douglas
- Count Von Count as Oliver
- Cookie Monster as Gordon
[James is chugging down the railroad, holding his stomach and looking pale.]
James: Ugh, I feel like I'm gonna blow chunks of coal!
[James vomits all over the main apartment steps, and then collapses; a second later, Percy appears.]
Percy: Oh, no! James has the train flu! (Thomas shows up)
Thomas: The word of the day is: "quarantine".
[As the white word Quarantine shows up (and Thomas spells it, changing the letters to yellow), several quarantining people block off the place where James vomited and take Percy off-screen to safety.]
Thomas: Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E: "quarantine".
[The next shot is of James is lying in bed in a quarantining medical room and hooked to a heart rate monitor, and doctors are examining him.]
James: Toby (coughs), is that you?
Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating. (they walk away, and Toby shows up)
Toby: Hi, James. I'm so sorry you're sick.
James: I'm scared, Toby. Thank God you can't get it since you're not real.
James then flatlines, and dies.]
Tob: Yeah, thank G-
[Toby chokes, dies, and vanishes in a cloud of dust. We then snap to Oliver giving vaccines to Donald, Douglas, and Gordon.]
Oliver: One vaccine! (laughs) Two vaccines! (laughs)
[Gordon eats his own vaccine, and we snap to a separate bit with three dancing kids and one dead kid that holds a flower.]
Kids: (singing) One of these kids is not like the others. One of these kids is dead!
[The final shot pans up to the quarantine-taped Island of Sodor sign.]
Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letter CDC.
[We conclude with static as always.]