Parody Cast Members

  • Grover as Larry
  • Big Bird as Bob
  • Elmo as Junior
  • Announcer as Himself
  • Petunia Rhubarb, Mom Asparagus, Percy Pea, Dad Asparagus, Pa Grape, and Mr. Lunt as Quarantiners
  • Aloysius Snuffleupagus as Mr. Nezzer
  • Bert as Jimmy Gourd
  • Ernie as Jerry Gourd
  • Count Von Count as Archibald
  • Cookie Monster as Scallion #1


[Bob is walking down the street, holding his stomach and looking pale.]

Bob: Ugh, I feel like I'm gonna blow chunks of food!

[Bob vomits all over the main apartment steps, and then collapses; a second later, Junior appears.]

Junior: Oh, no! Bob has the veggie flu! (Larry shows up)

Larry: The word of the day is: "quarantine".

[As the white word Quarantine shows up (and Larry spells it, changing the letters to yellow), several quarantining people block off the place where Bob vomited and take Percy off-screen to safety.]

Larry: Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E: "quarantine".

[The next shot is of Bob is lying in bed in a quarantining medical room and hooked to a heart rate monitor, and doctors are examining him.]

Bob: Mr. Nezzer (coughs), is that you?

Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating. (they walk away, and Mr. Nezzer shows up)

Mr. Nezzer: Hi, Bob. I'm so sorry you're sick.

Bob: I'm scared, Toby. Thank God you can't get it since you're not real.

Bob then flatlines, and dies.]

Mr. Nezzer: Yeah, thank G-

[Mr. Nezzer chokes, dies, and vanishes in a cloud of dust. We then snap to Archibald giving vaccines to Jimmy Gourd, Jerry Gourd, and Scallion #1.]

Archibald: One vaccine! (laughs) Two vaccines! (laughs)

[Scallion #1 eats his own vaccine, and we snap to a separate bit with three dancing kids and one dead kid that holds a flower.]

Kids: (singing) One of these kids is not like the others. One of these kids is dead!

[The final shot pans up to the quarantine-taped Sesame Street sign.]

Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letter CDC.

[We conclude with static as always.]

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