Parody Cast Members
- Grover as Larry
- Big Bird as Bob
- Elmo as Junior
- Announcer as Himself
- Petunia Rhubarb, Mom Asparagus, Percy Pea, Dad Asparagus, Pa Grape, and Mr. Lunt as Quarantiners
- Aloysius Snuffleupagus as Mr. Nezzer
- Bert as Jimmy Gourd
- Ernie as Jerry Gourd
- Count Von Count as Archibald
- Cookie Monster as Scallion #1
[Bob is walking down the street, holding his stomach and looking pale.]
Bob: Ugh, I feel like I'm gonna blow chunks of food!
[Bob vomits all over the main apartment steps, and then collapses; a second later, Junior appears.]
Junior: Oh, no! Bob has the veggie flu! (Larry shows up)
Larry: The word of the day is: "quarantine".
[As the white word Quarantine shows up (and Larry spells it, changing the letters to yellow), several quarantining people block off the place where Bob vomited and take Percy off-screen to safety.]
Larry: Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E: "quarantine".
[The next shot is of Bob is lying in bed in a quarantining medical room and hooked to a heart rate monitor, and doctors are examining him.]
Bob: Mr. Nezzer (coughs), is that you?
Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating. (they walk away, and Mr. Nezzer shows up)
Mr. Nezzer: Hi, Bob. I'm so sorry you're sick.
Bob: I'm scared, Toby. Thank God you can't get it since you're not real.
Bob then flatlines, and dies.]
Mr. Nezzer: Yeah, thank G-
[Mr. Nezzer chokes, dies, and vanishes in a cloud of dust. We then snap to Archibald giving vaccines to Jimmy Gourd, Jerry Gourd, and Scallion #1.]
Archibald: One vaccine! (laughs) Two vaccines! (laughs)
[Scallion #1 eats his own vaccine, and we snap to a separate bit with three dancing kids and one dead kid that holds a flower.]
Kids: (singing) One of these kids is not like the others. One of these kids is dead!
[The final shot pans up to the quarantine-taped Sesame Street sign.]
Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letter CDC.
[We conclude with static as always.]