Thanks go to RonJeremy from the Bonetown Forums for providing the following content
WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS
Select New Game, and choose your race. It really doesnt matter what you pick, you will be swapping out of that skin soon enough.
* Remember your boss fight locations in each zone. You can return here and kill the same bosses as often as you like. You gain 20 drugs for the special ability the boss gave you each time you beat them.
The game begins with a stocky guy wearing a Butt Man T-shirt pissing on you while you sleep on the beach.
He's stoned or drunk and when he's done talking you will fight him. A few good hits with the left and right mouse buttons will knock him out.
Soon enough, Candy, a hot girl will approach you and give you the general concept of Bonetown.
She will tell you that in order to succeed in Bonetown you need to have a large ball size. You do this by beating up guys and assuming their identity. [Q]
When shes done talking, hit [TAB] and ask her for a blowjob. When youre done, hit [TAB] again and ask her for sex. To keep your ball sack fully charged (which means you will do more damage when you attack) you need to give a girl an orgasm. When you're done you will be told to see Uzi, who is located on the pier.
Just follow your map to the green dot.
Uzi is basically there to tell you that by drinking alcohol you can increase your ball size for a limited period.
He also shows you how to steal someones identity. Take the identity of the dude laying on the ground to progress. At the end of the pier is a save point, just hit [ENTER] whilst standing over the spinning floppy disk.
On your map you now have a blue star icon. Head down the pier and then left towards the blue star. This is the first mission.
Mission One - Save a CrackwhoreEdit
Firstly, once youre done chatting with Tricksy, you will see a pink dot and a red dot on your map. The pink dot is the person youre helping, the red dot is the enemy. Run over to the red dot and use the left and right mouse buttons to beat up the drug addict. H'ell drop some crack and a rolling pin. Use [Q] to equip the rolling pin.
Go back to Tricksy.
Next you will find that Tricksy has a pimp who wants to beat you up. Fight the pimp. Use the left mouse button for quick strikes and the right mouse button for power strikes. A good combo is left, left, right. Wait for the pimp to get up then smash him with another power strike. Repeat until he's down. Tricksy will reward you for your hard work. Mission complete.
Now head to the blue fist icon on your map. This is a boss that will drop a special ability for you to use. Make sure you have a full health bar before you fight any bosses. You will need full health and the extra power from a full ball sack to win most of them. Save your game after each mission as well. This helps prevent frustration later on if you die.
Boss Fight One - Dances with Pink ElephantsEdit
This guy drinks beer then throws the bottle at you. Use the nets on the tennis court to your advantage. When he takes a drink, jump over the net and hit him twice with quick hits then follow up with a power hit. Only initiate combat when he
takes a swig from his bottle. He will drop 20 beer bottles and your first special ability. This ability lets you hit others with the bottles and is very useful in many fights. Learn to use your special abilities as you wont get far in this game without them.
Hold down [Shift] and roll your mouse wheel up or down to select an ability. While holding [Shift] attack as per normal with the left mouse button.
All zones have three major objectives. 1. The Mission. 2. The Boss. 3. The Weed Pipe.
Weed Pipe Fight - Bruce, the Dancing QueerEdit
Head on over to the weed pipe logo, its located to the north of the map and is marked by a white smoke-like logo.
It's beyond the ferris wheel at the base of the mountain. Beat up Bruce and you will be rewarded with the $10 pipe. These pipes allow you to jump higher when you take weed. Bruce will drop a pink dildo, with a damage rating of 4, so make sure you equip this as its probably the best weapon you have encountered so far.
Head to the opposite end of the map where the blue star/yellow triangle is to go to the next zone.
As in each level of the game, there are "tokens" to find and collect. In Missionary Beach, the tokens are tickets. Your reward for collecting all 25 tokens is a special weapon (Carnival Mallet, +4 strength) that is usually stronger than most ordinary weapons you will find on the street.
Firm Wood ForestEdit
Head to the white disk in this zone and save your game first. For some reason, you come back to do the mission for Firm Wood Forest, but you can still do the weed/boss fight here. I recommend doing them now to help you for later. Head to the blue fist icon to begin.
Boss Fight Two - Aquaman, Latin SuperheroEdit
This guy is pretty easy to beat so long as you avoid his noctious breath attack. Two fast hits followed by a power hit will knock him down.
Follow in with a few power hits as he gets to his feet. Steal his scepter when he drops it and use that for a more powerful attack. The scepter has an attack rating of 5. He will run into the water and attack you from the opposite end of where he runs into the water so be aware of this. When you have beaten him you will get the Kaya Cloud, a move that stuns opponents for a brief period. Make sure you steal Aquamans identity. He has an attack bonus of 2 and a ball size of 3.
Head back over the bridge and save the game. Next head to the weed pipe icon
Weed Pipe Fight - White Jesus, Gods only sonEdit
Beat White Jesus up. Hes pretty easy and has no special abilities so just use the combo attack for this. Hell drop a pipe called The Sherlock, make sure you pick this up (walk over it).
Save game and proceed to the next mission star.
As in each level of the game, there are "tokens" to find and collect. In Firmwood Forest, the tokens are diamonds. Your reward for collecting all 25 tokens is a special weapon that is usually stronger than most ordinary weapons you will find on the street. A map of the location for all the diamonds in Firmwood Forest can be found on this site.
Home Land Trailer ParkEdit
Youre probably running low on health and ball power. Find a fat chick at the top of the hill and have sex/blowjob with her to regain your power.
You will need it. Save your game again when youre ready.
Mission Two - Jungle Cock FeverEdit
Talk to Uzi. Hell tell you to knock out all the Pigmies. Head to the pink dot on the map and take out the pigmies there. As you wipe out a group, a new group will emerge elsewhere. Make sure you replenish your ball/health by having sex/blowjob with the women at each Pigmie camp. Always keep your back against a wall when fighting multiple enemies. Use your special attacks to group them together then attack them with a melee weapon. Another easy way to defeat the pigmies is to run along a stone wall and jumping obstacles that are in the way. The pigmies will get stuck, and then you can attack them one at a time.
After the 4th attack you will be told to go to Uzis trailer, where you will find yet another much larger group of Pigmies. Use your stun attack to group them, then pummel them with your power attack. If you really suck at attacking them, head back to the first zone and repeatedly beat Dances with Pink Elephants.
Hell drop 20 beers each time. Beat him once, enter the club house, leave the club house and beat him again. When you have 60 beers or so, head back and use the bottle attack to smash the Pigmies. Enter Uzis house and take your reward when youre done.
Go back and save your game. The save point is at the start of the zone, where the pier is located.
Head to the blue fist for the boss fight.
Boss Fight Three - Abe Schnook The RabbiEdit
This dude uses a fire breathing attack so keep your distance from him. You will need to use your special attacks in combination with your power melee attack to beat him. Make good use of the bottle smash on the Rabbi, you will need his special move later on so persevere with this one. Once hes beaten, you gain the fire breathing special attack and 20 whiskeys.
There is no weed pipe in this zone, so replen health/balls, save your game and head back to Firm Wood.
Follow your map to the blue/yellow star. This will lead you back to Missionary Beach.
As in each level of the game, there are "tokens" to find and collect. In Homeland TrailerPark, the tokens are jugs. Your reward for collecting all 25 tokens is a special weapon that is usually stronger than most ordinary weapons you will find on the street. A map of the location for all the jugs in Homeland TrailerPark can be found on this site.
Go to the save point and save your game. If you fail here, at least you will be much closer for a retry. Head to the blue star when youre ready.
Mission Three - The Vagetarian ShowEdit
Your task is to get a carrot from the Mormons. A couple of Mormons will immediately run up and attack you. Beat them off with your weapon then head to the red/yellow dots on the map and take care of the rest. Once again, draw the group towards you by using your special attacks, then power hit them as a group. Keep your back to the wall and always make sure your enemies are in front of you. Take the carrot back to Marlin and Brandy. A short cut scene will occur followed by some Man agents that will attack you. You have to protect Marlin (the guy) while defeating the agents. Use the bottle attack to take them down, or stun them with the breath attack then pummel them with your weapon. Once theyre down, you will get your reward.
Where ever you defeat the Mormons is where the carrot drops. Once you pick it up, you lose your current weapon. Defeat the first 2 Mormon kids. Then run close to the group of Mormons, drawing out 2 more Morman kids. After defeating them, you want to circle around the buildings, so that you are heading towards the group of Mormans, AND THE BEACH. Have them follow you back to the vicinity of the two waiting for the carrot. Once you defeat all of the Mormons, you want to be just past the 2 waiting for the carrot if you are walking away from the "giant eye". Pick a fight with a passer-by, and let him hit you until you drop your weapon. Knock the guy out. Now go find a heifer, and have your way with her to get your health back. Go back, get the carrot, and give it to the couple. Now the MAN agents come out. Pick up your attack weapon that is now on the ground in your general vicinity, and beat the crap out of the MAN agents.
Follow the blue/yellow star to the next zone to continue.
Once again, save your game in Gabacho Heights and make your way to the blue star for the Mission.
Mission Four - Full Metal Jerk ItEdit
After the cut scene go to the Apartments and beat up the two guys standing at the entrance. You will need a lot of bottle attacks for this zone, so stock up on beer before entering the Apartments. (You may get a load error upon trying to get into the Apartments. ALT-TAB to the background and close the error box, then ALT-TAB back to the game to continue) As soon as the cut scene is over you need to immediately start hitting the bad asian dudes with your bottle attack. Make sure you have at least 60 bottles (beers) on you before entering, as this will make your task much easier. Dont move around much after the cutscene, just start spamming out the bottle attack at the asian guys nearest you. Hopefully you will get through this part without any problems. Leave the Apartments via the front door and a new cut scene will begin. Make sure you have your fire breathing special attack ready, with at least 60 Whiskeys on hand for the next part. As soon as the cut scene is over, back yourself into the doorway directly opposite the asian chick and repeatedly spam the fire breathing attack. Your job here is to prevent the fat American men from batting off on the Asian chick (bukkake style). It only takes 3 seconds for them to cum, so you have to set them on fire and keep the aggression on you and not the chick. Once you have defended her for 2 minutes you will be rewarded.
Head to the blue fist to continue the next boss battle. Save your game along the way.
Boss Fight Four - Joseph Smith, Founder of MormonismEdit
This guy packs a punch when he attacks. He also summons two Mormons to attack you. Rush him early and attack him repeatedly with the bottle attack. See if you can corner him into the side of the building. Ignore his cronies and just spam the bottle attack over and over at him. If youre fast enough, the cronies wont attack you and you will beat Joseph. His fart attack is extremely useful later in the game as it does a lot of damage and has a good range on it. Don't forget to take his idenity. He has an attack bonus of 5 and a ball size of 3.
Once you have beaten him, head to the side of the Waste Mart where the garden stuff is kept behind the fence. Jump the fence and you might find a shovel on one of the benches. You will need a weed to make the jump, and you will know its the right place if there is a Ganesh idle inside. Take the shovel, it has a long range and adds 8 to your attack.
For now the weed pipe boss is not reachable, so head to the next zone marked by the blue/yellow star. Its located at the bottom of the steps, on a small pier with a boat.
Replen balls/health and save game.
As in each level of the game, there are "tokens" to find and collect. In Gabacho Heights, the tokens are GANESH. Your reward for collecting all 25 tokens is a special weapon that is usually stronger than most ordinary weapons you will find on the street. A map of the location for all the Ganesh on Gabacho Heights can be found
on this site.
Havajo Indian ReserveEdit
Save game then head to the blue mission star. You will need a lot of whiskey for the next part. Go back and defeat Abe Schnook four times to stock up on whiskey. Just zoneout to reload him each time after you beat him.
Mission Five - Running of the JuicesEdit
Retrieve the skull. Go down and beat the crap out of the guy where the yellow/red dot is located on your map. Get the skull and bring it back to Chief Red Skull. Use the fart attack and your power attack to beat the Indians along the way. You dont have to beat all the Indians to pass this, you merely have to get back to the Chief with the skull. The Indians do drop a lot of whiskeys though, so if you want to stock up just let them run up to you and beat them with melee attacks. Unlike a lot of other missions, you can have sex/get a blowjob during these fights to replen your balls/health. After the cut scene, you will need patience. Do not race the others to the top, you will get your arse handed to you. Stay at a respectful distance behind them and let them beat you to the top. When you get to the top, theyll all be gathered around the totem pole. Burn them with your fire. They will fall down the mountain. Now turn so that your facing the same way that Pocacuntas is facing. Burn the aggressors as they try to attack you from the mountain path. Your task is to
reach one minute (in the black) and prevent the aggressors from reaching one minute (in the red). Just keep hitting them with flame breath and you shouldnt have any problems.
You take no damage from falling, so jump down the hill and save your game. Head around to the weed pipe icon.
Weed Pipe Fight - Jebediah Ketchum the MissionaryEdit
Beat this stiff to a pulp to get Chillum, the next weed pipe. You can now head back to Gabacho Heights and jump up the mountain to fight the next weed boss.
Make your way to the weed pipe icon on your map.
Weed Pipe Fight - DingerEdit
You will notice that the weed pipe boss is at the top of the mountain. You will need to position yourself on the fence, directly beneath the sloping angle that drops off from the ledge above you. Take some weed, and with a running jump you should be able to make it to the ledge. It may take several attempts so stock up on hash before
Beat the crap out of Dinger to get the B1 Bonger. His weapon has a damage rating of 7, so pick it up if you dont have the shovel anymore.
Save game and head back down to the blue star to continue.
Mission Six - A Royal Penis WhoopingEdit
Go get the object. The object is the yellow dot on your map, surrounded by the red dots.
You will be invisible for this part, however this does not mean you can walk right up to the Man agents. In fact what it means is that you will not be able to
use your weed or other drugs to assist in this mission. You can still use your special moves, you just cant do jumps or increase your speed whilst invisible.
Take on the Man Agents one at a time and getting past them is actually quite easy. Use your fart attack with a power melee attack for best effect. When you have beaten them, take the penis back to Poonjam.
After the cutscene go back to Havajo Indian Reserve.
Havajo Indian ReserveEdit
You must now beat all the black Indians (from India) while protecting the Indian Chief. There is a big red Indian that will try to take on the Chief and has more hit points than the others. Focus on beating him up first. If you fail, you dont have to redo the part in Gabacho Heights again, there will be a blue star in this zone. Stand over it and have another crack at the mission. My only tip is to follow the Chief around and spam special attacks at anyone that attacks him. When you have beaten down all the black Indians, you will be rewarded.
If the Red Indian takes no damage, try using the special Weapon given to you by Poonjam.
Go back through Gabacho Heights
Run to the bus stop and enter Nobbing Hill.
Save game and head back to the blue star to continue.
Mission Seven - Mexican Style De-VirginizingEdit
You must partake in an orgy. There are 4 rounds. After each round, a woman leaves but the same amount of guys remain. Your job here is to score with one girl without being interrupted by another guy. For the first three rounds, it's best to stake out one girl and eliminate only the guys competing for her. You don't need to bother about guys who are fighting over a different girl to the one you've staked out, they generally won't bother you once you start with her. For the final round, as there is only one girl remaining, you need to eliminate *all* of the other guys. Use your quick melee attacks and aim for the group as a whole, rather than singling out just one opponent. If you hit at an opponent while they are on the other side of a girl, you may miss them and give them a chance to score and end the mission, hence "area effect" power attacks (peyote, frog) work best at keeping your opponents from scoring with the girl. If you've beaten James T. Jerk and have the peyote power attack, this is the preferable option, as it doesn't throw you away from the girl. If you have about 20 peyote buttons saved up beforehand (you can get them by running back and forth along the beach and the spit of land that points to James T. Jerk's fight), then this phase of the mission will be easy. The mushroom power attack is also useful here, as it gives you a range and can take opponents health down very quickly. Once all four rounds are complete, you will have a cutscene. Use the break between each round to recover your health before moving on.
Dont let more than 2 Mexicans get deported. Now you have to race around and beat up all the Man agents before they beat up the Mexicans. If a Mexican is beaten hes considered deported. This part is tricky, and will require a couple of tries. Begin with all of the fights in your immediate area, then use crack to run as fast as possible to the other end of the map, near the big house on the hill, and deal with the fights there. This way you can protect the maximum number of Mexican dudes, as these two places contain the largest concentration of fights.
Hit them with your power attacks while they focus on the Mexican. The mushroom power attack is useful as it lets you stay a distance out of the fight, and do big damage. A weapon with both reach and strength - for example, a light sabre, or the black dildo-on-a-stick - is effective. It's important to keep yourself away from the Man agents fists, so don't get between him and your Mexican friend, or you'll be forced to waste precious seconds sharing the punches. Remember that the Mexicans will be fighting too, so stunning the agents with dope or peyote lightning attacks are good strategies for letting your friends get an advantage. Use crack to get between the different Mexicans getting attacked, but don't use Satan's crack blast attack - it actually slows you down in beating the Man agents. The goal for the first couple of fights should be to beat down the Man agents until they are at very low health, then let the Mexicans take care of them - this saves you some seconds in running to help the next Mexican guy. If the Mexican you're helping is low on health himself (as he will be in the later fights), take out the agent entirely. Then you need to knock out any remaining Man agents to end the mission - use the map to find the stragglers. You may lose two Mexicans this way, but as long as it is no more than two, you'll be okay. As the mission states, you cant let any more than 2 get beaten up. Once you have completed this, enjoy your reward.
Save and head to the blue fist icon.
Boss Fight Five - James T. JerkEdit
The blue fist icon is out on a stretch of beach. You will now do battle with a Star Trekesque guy wielding a light sabre. He has a powerful stun attack move that uses lightning.
Have around 15 mushrooms on you and hit him with the fart attack. If you land them, you will take him out without any problems. He summons Star Trek nerds to help him, so you will want to beat him as fast as you can. Make them run off by hitting with the fire attack then smash James with the fart attack for big damage. Alternatively, you could just pound him with melee attacks. Once hes down you will get the lighning attack, which is very useful in an upcoming mission.
Head to the weed pipe logo after you have replenished your balls/health and saved the game.
Weed Pipe Fight - Moses the Original GangsterEdit
Use quick attacks on Moses and pin him against the rock behind him. He goes down pretty easy. Take his tablet for a cool weapon and make sure you pick up The Ship bong.
Save your game and head to the next blue mission star in Nobbing Hill
Mission Eight - Bitches get it in the endEdit
Photograph all the pre rushes. Head to the 5 pink dots on your map and beat up the guys having sex with the pre-grad chicks. When youre done, head back and you will get a cut scene.
Now you have to do pretty much the same thing. Head to all 5 pink dots and beat up even more of the guys guarding the pre grads. The only difference is that you have to get a blowjob or have sex with each of the pre-grads after you have beaten the guys surrounding them.
Now you have to get the Tequila bottle from the Mexicans. Head to the yellow dots on your map to get it. Use your lightning attack and fart attack to take them out. You only need one bottle to bring back to the sorority chick (Britney), so once you have beaten one, use crack and sprint it back to her. One bottle isnt enough for this babe, so you have to now head back and get another.
Be prepared for more Mexicans this time. Stun them with your foul breath attack and beat them off with your weapon. Dont use all your lightning attack though, you will need it for the next part of this mission. Next you have to get yourself a bottle of tequila and take it to the party. Return to the Mexicans and group attack them. Your bottle attack is pretty useful here if youre not very good at using melee weapons. Head to the house on your map and enter. After the cut scene, you will want to get as many of the males in the house around you as possible. Keep spamming
your lightning attack to take out as many of the horny guys as you can. I recommend doing this with at least 40 peyotes on you. If you fail, dont fret you will just have to do this part again in the house, not the whole mission. If one of the guys gets close to Britney, you have 4 seconds to beat them off. When youre ready, leave the house.
Head to the blue/yellow star on your map.
Head to the blue fist icon to take on the boss fight and get his powerful attack.
Boss Fight Six - ButtmanEdit
Rush in quick and pin Buttman to the wall with the fart attack. It will take around 10-15 attacks to get him. His attack is pretty powerful, so be careful not to let him get too close to you. Once you have beaten him, you will get the awesome Toad Fart Bomb, which does group damage while knocking you away from danger. Take Buttmans form while youre here if its an upgrade - be quick though, his body will disappear fast.
Restore health/balls and save game.
Now head to the blue star for the next mission.
Mission Nine - Captain CoolEdit
You have to save Tina. Head to the pink dot and group attack everywhere there with your lighning attack and fart bomb attack. Dont let them gang up on you as you will quickly regret it. Once theyre all dead, you will be given the task to find Amy. Head to the next pink dot. After the cut scene you will be attacked. Either use your fart bomb to get away from the enemies, or hit them all with the lightning attack and wipe them out. Now you have to take Tina and Amy to the Man Office. Do not go the direct route to the Man office, you will be attacked by Man Agents that spawn out of nowhere and will continuously harass you. Instead, head in the opposite direction, toward the major road. When you hit the major road, follow it all the way around - in other words, run in the complete opposite direction of the Man Office. The road will eventually turn towards the Man Office. Stay on the footpath (where the grey wall is) and follow that up until youre almost parallell with the Man Office on your map. Up ahead you should see a black tunnel. On your map there is a small road on the left hand side of the road as you face the tunnel ahead. Turn and face that and you should be looking at a brown brick building. If you take any of the major roads that lead to the Man Office, you will get attacked. Follow this small road and you will discover a tunnel with a car park on the right side.
Enter this and follow it through to the end. You will be pretty close to the Man Office now, make a dash across to it. The girls will follow you. When you get to the Man Office, you have to beat a very tough Man Agent. Special attacks have no effect on him, so youre going to have to melee damage him with a weapon. Hit him with two quick attacks then a power attack. As he gets up, hit him with a new power attack. Each time he tries to recover, hit him with a power attack. Use mushrooms to stay invicible for a short period of time as this will help you out immensely. The Kaya Cloud does work though, so use it to stun him for a short period and hit him with a power attack.
If you want more protection, jump in the fountain with your melee weapon and strike him as he gets close to the fence. It takes longer but he can't reach you to hit you. OR you can have at least 40 weed on you, hit him with Kaya right off the bat and hit him when he's stunned, and then hit him with Kaya every time he gets up, it takes a while, but you can beat him if you go in with full health. each time he gets ups, smack him with a power attack or a combo of three hits. this was the way it worked for Me. its time consuming, but well worth the reward.
Once hes beaten, enjoy your well deserved reward.
Save your game.
Head to the next blue star to continue.
Mission Ten - Praise be to black JesusEdit
After the cut scene, go to the Reverend. Get the chicken leg and return it to Reverend Blackard. To do this easily, have around 50 peyotes on you and just run into the group and electrocute them all until they're dead. Otherwise, you're in for a tough fight. Try to drive the group back up towards the Reverend - away from the cars. If the Man Agents take it to their car, its mission over. If the black hoodlums take it to their car, its also game over. Once you have it, return it to the Reverend. Enjoy your reward.
Save your game.
Head to the RJ on your map.
After speaking to Ron, your new mission is to go and make a porno. Head back to Bonetown and make your way to the pink dots on your map. Beat off the Man Agents and perform a sexual act with 3 women to progress through the mission. When youre done, you have to steal a surveillance tape from inside the Man HQ. Work your way slowly down the passage way and take out the Man agents one at a time. There are around 20 of them in total. When you get to the end you will see the tape on the table. Take the Surveillance tape back to Ron. Beware of the remaining Agent that respawns in the building on the way out. When you leave the building, head to Rons Tower and enter. After the cut scene with Ron, you will have sex with five women. You have to make them orgasm faster than Ron does. When this is over, you fight Ron Jeremy. Hit him with lots of fart attacks (not the bomb) and power melee attacks and he shouldnt give you much grief. Your reward is Ron Jeremys body, so press Q and take his form. Ron has the biggest balls in the game.
You can find the fat robot woman and the sexy one in Downtown, so while we're here head over to the weed pipe icon and take some weed. There are several levels that look similar to a parking lot at the building with the weed pipe icon. When you jump up, you will see the fat robot chick on the second one from the top. Go have sex with her to get her leg as a reward. Its good, but the sexy robot girls leg is better. To find her, head due north from the weed pipe icon all the way up the road where it leads to a small car park at the foot of the mountains. The sexier robot girl will be waiting there. Have sex with her to get her leg, the best weapon in the game. Return to Nobbing Hill Find the biggest house in the southern part of the zone, behind it is a yellow marker on your map. Its the house you had to had sex with all the sorority girls to impress Britney in Mission Eight. Head towards the yellow marker and you will fall down a cliff and be at a small jetty. Take the boat here to Mushroom Marsh. Once you are there, you will see a blue fist icon on your map. Make your way towards it. First, you have to enter a Mine below some great rocks. If you think that you have reached a dead end, look above you. You will see an arrow on the ceiling. Take some weed and jump in direction of the arrow. This will take you to the exit of the mine. You will have to walk through another similar mine before you reach the save point. Save your game and enter the ruins. Some medieval guards will await you at the entrance and also inside. Overwhelm them by electroluting and hitting them with your weapon. After that you will need to use weed and make several big and precise jumps across water. If you drown you may restart behind the ruins. But take care of more guards, especially near bridges and behind the large mushrooms. Eventually you will make it to the blue fist icon. Behind the last bridge to Satan, you are safe until you climb the stairs. So fuck some of the chicks walking around to replenish your health.
Boss Fight Seven - SatanEdit
Head up the stairs to fight Satan. He charges you and can kill you in one hit if he lands a good charge on you. If you die, you will restart just below the steps, so dont fret if you suck at fighting. Make use of the lightning attack to stun followed by some strong melee hits with Your weapon when Satan is recovering. That will take him down without too many dramas. Don't try to switch between Your special attacks, as this will give Satan time to hit You. Satan has pretty good attack, but Ron Jeremys balls are bigger. You will be rewarded with the Charge attack when you have defeated Satan.
Inside Satan's temple, there seems to be a quick way back to the save point. But it's impossible to simply jump over the deep water in the cavern. Instead you have to use your newly gained charge attack in midair to pass the gape. If You drown, you restart before the bridge to Satan's temple, already having the Charge attack.
After defeating Satan, follow that way, go forward and you will see some women walking, continue and you will find Satan's Wife. Fuck her and she will give you the Gothic Mace, a very good weapon, but not better than the Robotic Leg. You may also do this before fighting Satan as it eventually shortens Your way.
Return to Downtown.
Weed Pipe Fight - Paramanda Nogahosomie Edit
Head to the weed pipe icon in Downtown. This is pretty hard to reach so read carefully. At the peak of the building with the weed icon on it is the Guru you need to fight for the Golden Bong. To get there, you must jump off two other buildings buildings. You can only make the jump with the bong from Nobbing Hill and Satans charge special move (Edit: you can also use Buttman's move, provided you jump backwards). Go the tall sword like building with the blue umbrellas out the front it. It is directly behind the building with the bong icon on it. Look at the building from the direction you came (the bong building). To the left of this building is another shorter building. Your objective is to get on top of that building. Look back at the sword like building on the left side and you will see it has a ledge you can easily jump to with weed. Jump up there. Now go to the center window, take some more weed and jump up and press forward towards the window. You will land on the ledge of the window. You need to take more weed then back away from the ledge untill you start to fall, hit jump and press forward to land on the ledge directly above it. (Alternatively, I found it easier to jump forward and use the Buttman move to fire back to the next ledge up). You will know its the right one because it has a token on it. Once youre there, take another weed and jump forward. Quickly scroll down while your at the peak of your jump and select the Satan charge to make it to the building across from you. If you land on the roof, you did well. It may take several attempts, dont stress about it just take your time and be patient. When you get on the roof, head towards the weed icon building. You have to repeat what you did before - take weed, jump, satan charge. Hopefully you will land on the weed icon building. You will find the Guru on top of the box before you. Kick his arse and take the Golden Bong. Don't fight him near the edge. I knocked him off, then had to climb up again for the bong.
Head to the blue star. This is the final mission.
Mission Eleven - The Man IslandEdit
**Warning** Have lots of drugs on you before doing this. Id recommend at least 100-150 of each type!
Before you hit enter on the blue star, use some weed then immediately walk on the blue star. When the mission begins, hit jump and forward. Jump again and clear the fence before you. This will prevent you from getting hammered by the Man Agents guarding the gateway to Man Island. Run up the road and be ready to beat the Man Agents as they come for you down the direction your heading. You can do one of two things here. Beat the Man Agents up on your way to the pier or simply take weed and jump over them, then use crack and run past them. Once you reach the pier at the blue star, you will be taken to Man Island.
A Man Agent will attack you when you get there, beat him up and proceed up the road. More Agents will attack, keep beating them up until you reach the building at the end of the road. Enter the door, and be careful of the Man Agents that will attack you inside. Clear out the whole place of Man Agents. Take the steps all the way to the bottom once you have beaten up all the Man Agents. There will be 3 pipes at a dead end. The final weed pipe can be found here. Make sure you get it, as you cant finish the game without it!
Head back up the stairs and enter the small room to the left. Jump down into the water and stand on the round concrete pillar in the water. Take some weed and press jump. This will put you in a new room up above. Beat up the Man Agent here and take the weed behind the pillar in the room in front of you. Now stand on the new concrete disk and take some more weed and jump. You can drown here, so be careful to keep jumping towards the building on your left.
Enter the door and beat up the Man Agent inside. As you enter the room, stand near the second tube from the right and take some more weed and jump. You should be trying to land on top of the tube. Jump again, but be careful of the two Man Agents at the top. Take them out and proceed outside. There are more Man Agents outside, take out as many as you can to get to the other side of the river.
Run to the end of the buildings on this side of the river and use the tubes at the end to get to the other side of the river. Take out more Man Agents along the way. When you get to the other side. Take the steps up to the top of the hill. There should be a big building before you, take the left side and follow the walkway across to the other side. Pay the hooker for a blowjob and replen your health, then pay her again for sex to replen your balls.
Go back the way you came and make your way around the left. You will see above you is another walkway. On the left side of the building is a small alcove/awning that juts out with yellow lights on it. Take some weed and jump up there. Now, turn and face on an angle the walkway above you. Take more weed and jump towards the walkway. Hopefully you will land on it. Proceed down the walkway. Take out the two Man Agents on this walkway and make your way to side of the building before you. Now take some weed and repeat what you did before. You will be aiming for the alcove/awning with yellow lights on it. Beat the four Man Agents on this walkway and you will see a blue triangle (yellow on your map) in front of you. Walk over it to enter the Man Needle.
The Man NeedleEdit
When you step out, you will be outside an elevator. Behind the elevator is a Man Agent. Take him out and any other that gets in your way on this floor. There will be around 10 of them. About halfway around this corridor you will see a circulation vent cover that is skewed (not where it should be). Stand where it should be (near the wall) and look up. You will notice a hole here. Use your weed and jump up here. If you didnt get the pipe on Man Island, you will not make the jump. When you come out at the top you will notice there are about 7 agents waiting for you. Beat them up and head left where they were guarding. Run and jump to the other side of the hole that is before you. If you miss the jump and fall down the hole, stay aganst the far wall and you'll land on a ledge before you hit the water. Turn around and you'll see another ledge about halfway to the top from where you are. Use weed and get back out of the hole using these ledges. Continue when you make it to the other side. Fall down the hole at the end of the passageway.
The easiest way to beat this tough baddie is to use the Farting. Repeat it over and over again and he wont attack you. Make sure you have lots, cause this attack is very useful for the next fight as well.
The Mistress makes you beat a room full of all her slaves. Use the Lightning attack repeatedly and you should beat this without any problems.
Congrats, you have just finished BoneTown. Enjoy the spectacular ending. After the credits roll, you will resume the game in Downtown with all story missions reopened (Does not include the side missions) and the mistress will be added into the Fantasy Mode.