Book of blackbeard
Chapter 1 verse 1
"An soo thar shall we slagg the lun songs that darr dandadrs eat in derr mournarn mist"
That is to say "Go fuck as many people as you can, even if it isn't your wife, even if it isn't a woman.
Making children to learn ted's ways is all that matters. Make the new world order for ted. Make an army for ted."
Chapter 1 verse 2
"An thar she Blow! Thar whale be Moby Dick! Thar is they spear srewing threw thar blubbar!"
That is to say "In the Middle Ages there was an over population of nerds.
These nerds ran rampent and ate all the cheetos.
Because of this they all starved and died, thus spreading a wave of stupitity on society."
Chapter 1 verse 3
blackbeard was a prophet of Ted
Chapter 1 verse 4
blackbeard was also angel of Ted
Chapter 1 verse 5
and he was the 666th angel of Ted
Chapter 1 verse 6
and he did the work of Ted by attacking the christian infidels