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Book of duffy
Chapter 1 verse 17
And as Ted walked down the path, he came upon an injured man in tattered clothing. "Please, good sir, I beseech thee, lend me thy hand and usher me to a place of healing." And Ted, in all his divine wisdom, did taser the injured man with half a million volts, because that guy had left Ted with the tab at McGlinchy's Pub and gone home with Ted's woman last weekend.
Chapter 1 verse 18
And a young lady who had witnessed the scene said unto Ted "Why hath thou done this, sir?" And Ted replied, "Are we gonna go back to my place and screw or or you just gonna stand there running your mouth all day?" Thus spoke Ted. ATed.