- Calvin Throws a Tantrum is a fake Calvin & Hobbes episode, it aired on May 31, 2011.
Calvin and his parents go to a video store and Calvin sees a 2000 Barney's Dino Dancin' Tunes Lyrick Studios VHS tape. Calvin pleads for it, but his parents say "no". So Calvin starts bawling out a tantrum and his parents drag him out of the store and put him in his room as punishment. The next day, Calvin and his parents go to a toy store and Calvin sees a 2011 Hiro Train, Calvin whines for it but his parents say "No!" again, so Calvin starts to cry out another tantrum and the other kids laugh at him, so Mac and Frankie punishes poor Calvin and sends him to jail and never return until his parents give him harsh judgement. Mr. Herriman visits Calvin's parents and told them they did a good job defeating Calvin.
- Calvin's Mom
- Calvin's Dad
- Frankie (Policeman)
- Mac (Policeman)
- Bloo (cameo)
- Wilt (cameo)
- Eduardo (cameo)
- Coco (cameo)
- Madame Foster (cameo)
- Mr. Herriman (cameo)
- Susie (cameo)
- Calvin's Teacher (cameo)
- Moe (cameo)
Written by Frances "Frankie" Foster
- Narrator: One day, Calvin and his parents went to a video store, when they got to the video store, it happened. Calvin saw a 2000 Barney's Dino Dancin' Tunes Lyrick Studios Tape and then he went crazy!
- Calvin: May I please have that 2000 Barney's Dino Dancin' Tunes tape?
- Calvin's Mom: NO!
- Calvin's Dad: Never!
- Calvin: But.....But..BWAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!! I WANT THAT BARNEY'S DINO DANCIN' TUNES TAPE NOW!!!!!! NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!
- Calvin's Parents: NO CALVIN!!!!
- Calvin's Dad: And it's a f**king phony!!!! A F**KING PHONY!!!
- Calvin: Waaaaaaaah!!!!!! I WANT IT NOOOW!!!!!!!
- Narrator: And so Calvin was dragged out of the store and into his dark room for punishment.
- Calvin: Waaaaaah!!!!! It's too late to buy 2000 Barney's Dino Dancin' Tunes tape!!! TOO LATE!!!
- Narrator: The next day, Calvin and his parents went to a toy store with lots of retired Thomas trains, then Calvin got the gimmie gleam in his eyes.
- Calvin: WOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!! LOOK AT ALL THESE RETIRED TRAINS!!!!!! I REALLY WANT THAT 2011 HIRO TRAIN! May I have it, please?? Cause I really want that Barney's Dino Dancin' Tunes tape.
- Narrator: But Calvin's Parents said no again.
- Calvin's Mom: NO!!!!
- Calvin's Dad: And besides, those trains cost money.
- Narrator: And then Calvin began to sob out another tantrum.
- Calvin: But........BUT........WAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! I WANT THAT 2011 HIRO TRAIN!!!!!! I WANT IT NOW!!!!!! NOW!! NOW!!! NOW!!! Waaaaaahahahahah!!!!!
- Calvin's Parents: IF YOU KEEP THIS UP THEN ALL YOU WANT IS A SPANKING!!!!!!!
- Calvin: Waaaaaaaaah!!!!! NO!!! NO!!! NOOOOO!!!!!
- Narrator: But then the other kids started laughing at him.
- Narrator: Calvin's parents and people run away from Calvin throws a tantrum until the police arrive. Police officers toward Calvin and his family at the toy store.
- Mac the Policeman: (points at Calvin) Hey, What are you doing at the Toy store!?
- Calvin: My parent don't want me to drag me out to the store! You can't stop me!!!!! NOO!!!!!!
- Narrator: Calvin points to Mac and Frankie who are about the handcuff him.
- Calvin: I WANT TO GO HOME!
- Mac the Policeman: Shut up, I'm not going to let you do that I'll put handcuff on you.
- Narrator: the Police begun to handcuff Calvin.
- Frankie the Policewoman: Officer Mac, We need to put Calvin in jail, now.
- Narrator: Calvin was sent to the jail by the cops.
- Newspaper boy after newspaper come flying across the screen: Calvin Guilty! Calvin guilty!
- NARRATOR: News of Calvin's disgrace rocked the nation.
It seemed the courts were determined to make
an example of him. Of course his parents
tried to help him but they were blocked at
every turn. Why, they must have reopened
the case a dozen times. They appealed to
this court, that court, any court. But, the
desition stood. The case of Professeor Calvin Q. Calculus
- Frankie; There! You just stay here and think about what you did and how you can be useful.
- Calvin: But but--
- Mac: No butts, you will stay there until your parents learn how to treat you poorly.
- Calvin: How long will I stay here for?
- Frankie: Forever. Goodbye.
NARRATOR:Yes, once again it was a white Christmas and once again the melodies of Yule tied hung sweet upon the winters air. Hearts were gay and spirits high. Indeed in all the city there was but one spot untouched by the spirit of Christmas. The tower; grim monument to despair, cold cruel forbidding And, unfourtunaely the abobe of Calvin for a good many Christamses yet to come. Poor Calvin, alone with the memories of his wasted life not caring about anyone but himself. Oh what a fool he had been! He still remembered the first rule of Zugor rule #1: Don't need anyone but yourself. With many a pang there was the kindly face of Hobbes his tiger and his sage advice so often scorned. A tear for his mother too for his loyalty, his sypathy, his understanding. And Toad wept for his father too and all those little lectures so ofter laughed at. Within the confines of this miserable cell a new Calvin was born-a reformed Calvin repentant Calvin. Never againwould he let those mad foolish manias that had brought him to this sorry end! Calvin's Mom: Where's Calvin? Calvin's Dad: He wasn't at home when we left him at the stone. He's in jail. We're never gonna celebrate his birthday again! Calvin's Mom: We've not time to look for him. We'll just have to live without him.
Mr. Herriman: I'm so proud of you guys. You did a great job defeating Master Calvin. He is out of your life forever. You have proved to him that you guys are no longer friends but enemies.
Calvin's Dad: Are you glad Calvin's out of your life?
Calvin's Mom: Yes I sure.
Calvin's Dad: We did a great job casting Calvin out into the cold cruel world.
Narrator: And yes, he hopes he'll never be one of them. Stay tuned for the next episode of the series.
The scene where Calvin's dad says that it's a phony with an F word, has caused too many controversy. Since then, it has been cited as one of the most controversial episodes ever made. And this episode has been pulled from the series.