• Captain John Yossarian as Stan Marsh
  • Colonel Cathcart as Eric Cartman
  • Major Danby as Kenny McCormick
  • Lt. Nately as Chef
  • Dr. "Doc" Daneeka as Kyle Broflovski
  • Lt. Colonel Korn as Satan
  • Captain/Major Major as Jesus Christ
  • Capt. Fr. A.T. Tappman as Phillip
  • Nurse Duckett as Wendy Testaburger
  • 1st Lt. Dobbs as Mr. Mackey
  • 1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder as Craig Tucker
  • Brigadier General Dreedle as Phillip
  • Captain Orr as Terrance
  • Dreedle's WAC as Sheila Broflovski
  • First Sgt. Towser as Timmy
  • Captain "Aarfy Aardvark" as Randy Marsh

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