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Cast

  • Forest Green as Jean Stapleton
  • Outrageous Orange as Fozzie Bear
  • Beaver as Rowlf the Dog
  • Purple Heart as Floyd Pepper
  • Radical Red as Animal
  • Turquoise Blue as Zoot
  • Purple Plum as Trumpet Girl
  • Banana Mania as Nigel the Conductor
  • Milky Way, Black, Eerie Black, Black with Glitzy Gold Glitter, New Sneakers, Licorice, Leather Jacket, Fuchsia, Cotton Candy, Magenta, Cerise, Mauvelous, Salmon, Burnt Orange, Winter Sky, Atomic Tangerine, Razzle Dazzle Rose, Smashed Pumpkin and Princess Perfume as The Audience
  • Caribbean Green as Kermit the Frog
  • Tan as Statler
  • Tumbleweed as Waldorf

Lyrics

Caribbean Green: And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our special guest star, comedian, actress, singer and vey nice lady, Miss Forest Green.

Forest Green: Uh, gentlemen, lady...

Beaver: What?

Purple Heart: What seems to be the problem, Forest Green?

Forest Green: Well, uh, that music, it doesn't seem to be the right music. May l see it, please?

Beaver: Yeah, well, it seems normal to me.

Purple Heart: Yeah, just your ordinary, vey elaborate pretentious orchestration. What's it called?

Forest Green: Elaborate Pretensions for Orchestras. Uh, couldn't we just do that nice, simple piece?

Purple Heart: Well, how about a nice, simple Latin American riff? (hums the conga)

Turquoise Blue: Arriba!

Purple Heart: No Latin stuff tonight.

Forest Green: No. No, thank you. It's that sweet, simple duet that l rehearsed with Outrageous Orange. Where is Outrageous Orange?

Beaver: l know how that one goes. It goes like this...

Forest Green: Oh, yes. Thank you. That's it.
(singing) Won't you play a simple melody
Like my mother sang to me
One with good old-fashioned harmony
Play a simple melody
Outrageous Orange? Outrageous Orange?


Outrageous Orange: Here I am, Forest Green.

Forest Green: You forgot something.

Outrageous Orange: Oh, I never forget.

Forest Green: Where's your ukulele?

Outrageous Orange: Oh, I forgot!

Forest Green: You're a dingbat.

Outrageous Orange: I was only kidding.
Go!
Musical demon
Set your honey a-dreamin'
Won't you play me some rag
Just change that classical nag
To some sweet beautiful drag


Forest Green: If you will play from a copy
Of a tune that is choppy
You'll get all my applause
And that is simply because
l want to listen to rag


Outrageous Orange: Musical demon
Set your honey a-dreamin'
Won't you play me some rag
Just change that classical nag
To some sweet beautiful drag
If you will play from a copy
Of a tune that is choppy
You'll get all my applause
And that is simply because
l want to listen to rag


Forest Green: Play a simple melody
Like my mother sang to me
One with good old-fashioned harmony
Play a simple melody


Outrageous Orange: Come on, everybody!

Forest Green: Musical demon
Set your honey a-dreamin'
Won't you play me some rag
Just change that classical nag
To some sweet beautiful drag
If you will play from a copy
Of a tune that is choppy
You'll get all my applause
And that is simply because
l want to listen to rag


Everyone: Won't you play a simple melody
Like my mother sang to me

Outrageous Orange: A little loudly now.

Everyone: One with good old-fashioned harmony
Play a simple melody

Outrageous Orange: Now you!

Forest Green: l want to listen to rag.

Outrageous Orange: Me! l want to listen to rag! Now eveyone!

Everyone: I wanna listen to rag!

Tan: Boy, that number was something else!

Tumbleweed: You mean it was good?

Tan: No, it was something else.

(both laughing)

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