Dirty Objects, retitled Red Max in a Mess for American audiences, is the twenty-third episode of the first season of Sawtooth the Beaver and Friends. It is a parody of the Thomas & Friends episode Dirty Objects/James in a Mess.
- Red Max as James
- Professor Pat Pending as Toby
- Patricia Pending (A fan-character made by FlyingDuckManGenesis) as Henrietta
- Log Cars as Coaches
- Alligators as Troublesome Trucks
- An Animator as James' Driver
- Private Meekly as Percy
- The Announcer as Sir Topham Hatt
Narrator: "Professor Pat Pending and Patricia are enjoying their new job on Wacky Races Land, but they do look old fashioned and need new coats.
Red Max was very rude whenever he saw them."
Red Max: "Ugh. What dirty obects."
Narrator: "He would say.
At last, Professor lost patience."
Professor Pat Pending: "Red Max,"
Narrator: "He asked."
Professor Pat Pending: "Why are you red?"
Red Max: "I am a splendid pilot."
Narrator: "Answered Red Max."
Red Max: "Ready for anything. You never see me dirty."
Professor Pat Pending: "Oh,"
Narrator: "Said Professor innocently."
Professor Pat Pending: "That's why you once needed bootlaces to be ready, I suppose."
Narrator: "Red Max went redder than ever and snorted off. It was such an insult to be reminded of the time a bootlace had been used to mend a hole in his log cars.
At the end of the line, Red Max left his log cars and got ready for his next train. It was a slow goods, stopping at every station to pick up and set down alligators. Red Max hated slow goods runs."
Red Max: "Dirty Alligators from dirty sidings.
Narrator: "Starting with only a few, he pickled up more and more alligators at each station, till' he had a long line.
At first, the alligators behaved well, but Red Max had bumped them so crossly, that they were determined to pay him back.
Presently, they approached the top of Rufus' hill. Heavy goods racers halt here to pin down their brakes. Red Max had had an accident with Alligators before, and should have remembered this."
Red Max's Animator: "Wait, Red Max, wait!"
Narrator: "Said the animator, but Red Max wouldn't wait. He was too busy thinking what he'd say to Professor when they next met.
The Alligators' chance had come."
Alligators: "Hurrah! Hurrah!"
Narrator: "They laughed, and banging each other, they pushed him down the hill."
Alligators: "On! On! On!"
Narrator: "Laughed the alligators."
Red Max: "I've got to stop! I've got to stop!"
Narrator: "Groaned Red Max.
Through the station they thundered, disaster lay ahead."
"Something sticky splashed all over Red Max. He had run into two tar barrels, and was black from head to toe. He was more dirty than hurt, but the tar barrels and some Alligators were all to pieces.
Professor Pat Pending and Private Meekly were sent to help, and came as quickly as they could."
Professor Pat Pending: "Look here, Meekly,"
Narrator: "Exclaimed Professor."
Professor Pat Pending: "Whatever is that dirty object?"
Private Meekly: "That's Red Max, didn't you know?"
Professor Pat Pending: "It's red Max's shape,"
Narrator: "Said Professor."
Professor Pat Pending: "But Red Max is a splendid pilot, and you never see him dirty."
Narrator: "Red Max pretended he hadn't heard.
Professor and Meekly cleared away the unhurt alligators, and helped Red Max home.
The Announcer met them."
Announcer: "Well done, Meekly and Professor!"
Narrator: "He turned to Red Max."
Announcer: "Fancy letting your alligators run away, I am surprised. You're not fit to be seen, you must be cleaned at once!
Professor shall have a new coat."
Professor Pat Pending: "Please, sir, can Patricia have one, too?"
Narrator: "Said Professor."
Announcer: "Certainly, Professor."
Professor Pat Pending: "Oh, thank you, sir. She will be pleased!"
Narrator: "All Red Max could do was watch Professor as he ran off happily with the news."
- Footage Copyright: Hanna-Barbera/Warner Bros., Hit Entertainment