Nick: eggtimer, eggy, ducky
AuthServ-name: eggtimer
Access level pre-drama: 0
Current access level: 200
this box: v d e

The eggtimer bot (or colloquially eggy) was originally written as a mIRC-script by amb. When something with "egg" was said in the channel, eggy would read a line from quotes.txt and say it. Eggy had, at that time, functions, starting with quote_ - quote_add to add quotes, quote_num to get number of quotes, quote_get to get a certain quote by ID, and others. Some would only be available to the creator, amb, but most functionality was available to everyone.

Then, one day, Mortal asked amb for the quotes.txt. He originally had no intent to use it for any programmatical purpose, but then, he wanted to use it to make a bot, not constricted by the evil proprietaryth of mIRC.

The choice of language fell on PHP. Mortal had a conversation with Lachmoewe discussing about making the bot, and Lachmoewe told him he once downloaded a so called k.Bot, which didnt work for him (he couldn't program in php the moment he downloaded it). Mortal modified the bot, and gave it support for all kinds of fancy things.

Now, eggtimer is a part-time chatbot (Mortal runs it on his desktop computer, ain't got no fancy server box), serving many purposes.


Functionality is added to eggtimer through modules. They're included when needed - the module.command.*.php files are called when the bot is mentioned in a function-like way. Functions can be called in a lot of ways:

  1. eggtimer, function args.
  2. function args, eggtimer.
  3. oh hey eggy, function args.
  4. other variations using various supported interjections.

A quick dump of functions:

<user> eggtimer, help
<eggtimer> Please enter help <manpage|modulename> for more info. These manual
 pages exist: issuingcommands, sourcecode. These modules exist: aaaaa, access,
 addquote, auth, bc, bellonsay, clear, draw, echo, echochar, eval, find, fortune,
 gameoflife, givevoiceop, google, gtfo, help, highlight, infodump, join, lastquote,
 loggrep, make, md5, names, nick, part, php, pwned, quotenum, reverse, roll, rot13,
 say, sentenceparser, set, setsetting, stfu, tell, template, thetime, thx, upload,
 uptime, when, whoami, whoareyou.

The "manpages" are simply manpage.*.txt files which can be read. The other commands are the names of the module.command.*.php files - for some of them, additional help is available, for example:

<user> eggy, help find
<eggtimer> To perform a new search, "find [OR/AND/NOT] <words>". 
 You can only search for alpha-numeric characters, and the search 
 is case-insensitive. After the search is performed, use the function 
 "['show' ['me']] ['search'] 'result' ['no'|'#'|'number'] <number>".

Of course, eggy has kept his quote-functionality as well.

<Pii_> NO EGGY
<eggtimer> Did somebody call for a really hairy plumber?
<Mortable> O RLY EGGY
<eggtimer> shutupshutshutupshutup SHUT THE FUCK UP


Eggy appears to be sentient, though only when you're not talking about it.

<amb> eggy waht r u doin <eggtimer> Hay guys, how do I spalled?
<Nirrti> eggy do you love Mortable? <eggtimer> BOW CHICKA BOW WOW
feb 03 22:02:24 <martabla>      eggy in love person
feb 03 22:02:25 <eggtimer>      <Mortable> "I'm not in love with a gender I'm
  in love with a person" NO YOU FUCKING TURN ON DICKS SO GB2GAIA
  <amb> >"I LIEK PENIS" <amb> FIXED
feb 03 22:02:27 <martabla>      eggy find in love person
feb 03 22:02:27 <eggtimer>      martabla: <Mortable> "I'm not in love with a
  gender I'm in love with a person" NO YOU FUCKING TURN ON DICKS SO GB2GAIA
  <amb> >"I LIEK PENIS" <amb> FIXED
feb 03 22:02:30 <martabla>      OH WAIT
feb 03 22:02:31 <martabla>      FUCK
feb 03 22:02:34 <martabla>      SENTIENT
feb 04 18:47:31 <Mortal>        but you could connect to one
feb 04 18:47:32 <kenthebear|away>       YOU CAN USE MINE
feb 04 18:47:42 <kenthebear|away>       CONNECT TO ME EGGY
feb 04 18:47:42 <eggtimer>      IM A DIRTY DIRTY EGG
feb 23 21:35:01 <Mortal>        eggy, claw or root fossil?
feb 23 21:35:01 <eggtimer>      THERE IS ONLY THE CLAW
feb 23 21:35:11 <Mortal>        ALRIGHT, THE CLAW IT IS
feb 23 21:35:12 <gubment>       WHAT.
feb 23 21:35:16 <gubment>       eggy claw
feb 23 21:35:16 <eggtimer>      ps fuck u don't mess around wit us
feb 23 21:35:19 <gubment>       :OOOOOOOOOO
feb 23 21:35:23 <gubment>       WAS THAT PLANNED MORTAL
feb 23 21:35:24 <Mortal>        SENTIENT
mar 24 19:45:57 <Pii_>  HEY EGGY GRUNT'S MOM WANTS YOU
mar 24 19:45:58 <eggtimer>      <3
mar 24 19:46:07 <Pii_>  SENTIENT I SAY
20:29:29 <Mortal> !k eggtimer byes
20:29:30 <eggtimer> excuse me wtf ru doin
20:29:30 * eggtimer was kicked by ChanServ ((Mortal) byes)
apr 02 00:24:54 <Nutemo>        eggy draw Lars
apr 02 00:24:55 <eggtimer>      <Lars> >"I LIKE PENIS" <Lars> FIXED

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