[Open to Jason’s House outside, cut to inside Jason, Alex, Ed and Sarah are all sitting one the couch, they all sigh of boredom, Alvin Comlix walks into the room with a can of Root Beer in hand]
Alvin Comlix: Hey kids, why are you inside watching a blank screen on the TV. Your moms not home.
Alvin Comlix: So! Oh, come on there has to be something you want to do.
[Cut to the door of sissy’s room, Sissy walks up to the door ready to turn the handle but Jason suddenly opens it hitting her head and bouncing her back. Cut back to Couch]
Jason: Nope, nothing I can think of.
Alvin Comlix: well, ok. But it’s a Beautiful day outside, you guys should go outside.
[Walks out of room, kids all yawn]
Ed: Hey I got an idea, lets see what that idiot SkullHead is up to.
Jason: hey yeah, Come on guys.
[cut to inside of Mr. SkullHead’s house, the kids walk in the door with Alex last, just as Alex enters a bowling ball fly’s at him and hits him in the head and he falls]
Alex: Oh my god, They Killed Alex!
[Alex gets up]
Alex: I’m not dead yet.
Jason: Oh, well ok then.
[The kids walk over to Mr. SkullHead whose sitting on a small table reading the once and Future King]
Sarah: Hey, Mr. SkullHead what’s up?
Mr. SkullHead: nothing.
Mr. SkullHead: Yes, that’s why I’m reading a vary important book, now go away!
Alex: What, There's no monsters attacking today?
Mr. SkullHead: No!
Sarah: No ghosts causing Trouble?
Mr. SkullHead: No!
Jason: No Zombie uprisings?
Mr. SkullHead: No!
Ed: No Satellite Reception?
Mr. SkullHead: Well yes, but for the heck of it, No! Now Get Out!
[Kids turn and Start leave]
Jason: God, what’s his problem today.
Ed: Oh please he always Acts like this!
[Ash Opens the door and walks in all panicked, the kids walk out the door and close it, Ash walks up to Mr. SkullHead]
Ash: SkullHead? SkullHead I need help!
Mr. SkullHead: God, what do you want man.
Ash: SkullHead, I can’t take it any more! The nightmares, [Picks up SkullHead and starts shaking him, Mr. SkullHead Drops his book] I can’t go on like this!
Mr. SkullHead: What are you talking about Man!
Ash: ok, ok… [Puts Mr. SkullHead down]…It’s about All my Vietnam Buddies, They all died long ago, and today’s the anniversary…
Mr. SkullHead: So.
Ash: SkullHead, I need you to do me a favor….
Mr. SkullHead: Well what ever it is I wont do it!
Ash: Mr. SkullHead, Can you…. Wake the Dead.
[Mr. SkullHead suddenly opens his Eyeless eye Sockets wide-open he dose nothing but look at Ash for a moment]
Mr. SkullHead: do you know… what you are asking me.
Ash: What’s the problem is it too much!
Mr. SkullHead: Did I ever tell you about the Incident at, [gulps] Raccoon City!
[Cut to a Street in Raccoon City, Mr. SkullHead’s rolling backwards down the street firing a machine gun; we hear moans from several Zombies who are being shot. Cut back to SkullHead’s house]
Ash: Wow, it must have been bad for you.
Mr. SkullHead: Are you kidding, [Starts Smiling] I loved it, Come On lets go get my Syth!
[Mr. SkullHead Turns around and Rolls off the table, When he hit’s the floor he makes a large Crash and is Crystal Ball membrane Cracks, Water starts to spit out]
Mr. SkullHead: Ah, darn it, not again!
[Cut to street, Jason, Sarah, Ed, and Alex are sitting on the edge of the pavement, they Yawn]
Ed: Guys, What are we going to do. We can't just sit here all day and do nothing.
Alex: we could go see a movie.
[Everyone stairs at him for a moment then, suddenly starts laughing]
Jason: That’s funny Alex, with what money.
Alex: I' don't know, do you have any money?
[Laughing gets louder]
Alex: could you guys stop laughing!
Sarah: sorry but that was just funny.
Ed: Hey, I got an idea!
Ed: we can go and T-P our old elementary school principal's house.
Jason: Boo ya. Come on!
[Cut to cemetery, there is a large monument dedicated to Ash's Buddies. Ash and Skull head come in to the shot]
Mr. SkullHead: ok, is this the place!
Ash: yes, yes it is. Oh god, I can still remember it like it was yesterday.
[Ash looks up into space and starts remembering events from the past, we hear the voices of his buddies]
Vietnam Ash (Voice): Hey guys, who wants to play Uno?
Vietnam Eric (Voice): Oh, cool I haven’t played that in a wile.
Vietnam Neil (Voice): Hey Guys were Under Attack!
Vietnam Bones (Voice): The Enemy!
Vietnam Charlie (Voice): My God their zombies!
Vietnam Eric (Voice): Take them out!
[Sounds of gunfire]
Vietnam Ash (Voice): See this! This is my Boom Stick!
[Sounds of gunfire]
Vietnam Charlie (Voice): [screams]
Vietnam Ash (Voice): Charlie! [Echoes]
[Ash suddenly snaps out of it]
Ash: SkullHead, lets finish this!
Mr. SkullHead: Finish! But we haven’t even started!
Ash: oh yeah, Well start all ready!
Mr. SkullHead: Ok, but hold on I need to get my mood flowing!
[SkullHead starts specking in Jamaican Voodoo, the sky darkens. suddenly lightning starts striking the ground, cut to Jason, Ed, Alex, and Sarah walking down the street, they are holding allot of toilet paper, suddenly the lightning starts up where they are]
Ed: Oh, what the heck is going on!
Jason: It's go to be something involving my uncle, SkullHead, and something about Vietnam.
Sarah: How do you know that?
Jason: Because it's been about 2 weeks since his, last brake down.
Alex: Yeah good poi...
[Alex is suddenly struck by lightning and is turned into a dog]
Ed: Oh, son of a witch!
[Cut Back to SkullHead and Ash, SkullHead stops speaking Jamaican]
Mr. SkullHead: Ash! Now you must say the magic Words, They are Clatto… Verata… and Nicto! Ash do you understand!
Ash: Yes I do. Just stop babying me! Um, Right…. Clatto… Verata… N... Necktie... Nickel...
Mr. SkullHead: [starts staring at Ash] Ash?
Ash: Nervous… Nimrod… Nanny… Nonunion… Noun…
Mr. SkullHead: ASH!
Ash: Nocks… Nicky….Nook… It's an "N" word; it's definitely an "N" word!
Mr. SkullHead: Ash says the darn words, now!
Ash: Um, Right…. Clatto…. Verata…. Ni…..Ni…. [Sneezes]
[The Sneeze Echo's, suddenly the ground starts to open]
Mr. SkullHead: Ash you idiot! It's Nicto you moron! NICTO!
[Suddenly the sky goes Black, cut to the pet cemetery, Dead cats start to rise out of the grave, they walk and limp over to Ash and SkullHead, they spot both of them]
Mr. SkullHead: He did it! [Points syth at ash]
[The zombie Cats try to attack ash but he shoots one with his shotgun]
Ash: Now listen up, you Zombie Rodents. See this? This... is… my… Boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. K-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right; this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right.
Mr. SkullHead: You got all that from K-mart?
Ash: Well the bullets I got From E-bay, but that’s another story.
[Zombie Cats start hissing at Ash and SkullHead]
Mr. SkullHead: Ash I think we should get out of here.
Ash: Good idea, the smell is awful!
[The zombie Cats attack as Ash and SkullHead make a run for it, cut to the kids, they have dropped the Toilet Paper and started looking up at the sky]
Sarah: Jason, is this something that normally happens?
Jason: No, but so what, this is cool!
[Ed looks down and sees the army of zombie cats]
Ed: oh Shitake Mushrooms.
[The others also look down and see the cats]
Dog Alex: [Barking] Oh god, it had to be cats!
[The zombie cats' hiss and meow at the kids, they kids run away, cut to Jason's house, Ash and SkullHead get inside and lock the door, they breathe heavily. Sissy walks down the stairs]
Sissy: Hi uncle Ash.
Ash: Hey Sissy can you keep a secret?
Mr. SkullHead: Please.
Mr. SkullHead: Please.
Mr. SkullHead: Please.
Mr. SkullHead: Please!
Ash: Will you keep a secret for 1 buck?
Ash: Good tell your parents that if they see Zombie cat's and blame this on me, tell them to blame the boy first. You'll get your money later.
[Sissy walks off; a knock comes from the front door. SkullHead, and Ash panic]
Ash: Oh, Crap!
Mr. SkullHead: Ash what are we going to do!
Ash: don't worry I got this!
[Ash takes out a small gun and hides it behind his back, then opens the door. Officer P. I. Gamming is standing outside]
Ash: Officer Gamming how do you do.
[Wile the two are talking a man is walking behind Officer P. I. Gamming and is attacked by 4 zombie cats and is killed]
Officer P. I. Gamming: oh hi Ash. Say someone said that you were up by the cemetery earlier today. Is that true, I heard roomers, I did.
Ash: Oh, that’s funny; I've been here all day. Isn't that right SkullHead.
SkullHead: ho yeah sure. Just here and not trying to rise the dead.
Officer P. I. Gamming: Oh, Ok, Just wanted to know.
Ash: Well now you do.
Officer P. I. Gamming: ok well bye-bye.
Ash: goodbye officer.
[Ash closes the door and Officer P. I. Gamming walks over to the dead body]
Officer P. I. Gamming: Hey, you cats be careful now, don't get hit by a car.
[Officer P. I. Gamming walks off, cut to the kids running from the zombie cats; Dog Alex starts to slow down until he is attacked by the cats]
Sarah: No! Alex!
Jason: Oh my god, they killed Alex!
Dog Alex: [Barking] I'm not dead yet!
[Dog Alex starts barking and the zombie cats jump up frightened]
Ed: oh good job Alex!
Jason: Quick, into my house.
[The Kids run inside and lock the door; they then see SkullHead and Ash sitting]
Jason: ok, start talking!
Ash: what! This is not my fault!
Mr. SkullHead: did you say the words right!
[Mr. SkullHead looks at him angrily for a moment]
Ash: Ok, so I was off by a syllable.
Mr. SkullHead: You sneezed!
Jason: Ok you two shut up! First of all, we got to kill off all of the zombie cats, and then we have to fix Alex.
[Suddenly Dog Alex Jumps up in fright]
Jason: Opps, I mean, turn him back to normal!
Mr. SkullHead: Forget it! I put them down once; I'm not doing it again!
[Suddenly zombie cats smash thought the door, but they can only fit there heads in, Ash takes his chainsaw hand and cuts there heads off]
Mr. SkullHead: ok you win!
Ash: you guys get to the roof, Ill take care of the beasts.
Everyone else: ok!
[Everyone but ash heads up stairs; Ash suddenly realizes what he said]
Ash: Dang it!
[Cut to the roof, the kids, and Mr. SkullHead are standing on the roof the house is surrounded by zombie cats, SkullHead starts speaking Jamaican Voodoo]
Jason: ok lets hope this works.
Ed: oh yeah, because it would be bad if zombie cats took over the world. But not zombie people, No they are just dead people.
Dog Alex: [barking] Ed shut up!
[Suddenly SkullHead stops talking, then a large green bolt of lighting comes out of his syth, it goes up and hits the clouds, suddenly it start raining, the zombie cats start to waist away, the kids start cheering]
Mr. SkullHead: well this has been fun. Not like the time at that one mall.
[Cut to a mall, a few people are fighting off zombies, but they are all quickly killed, cut to Haven, the 4 dead people show up at the gate. Suddenly SkullHead (As the grim Reaper) Shows up and grabs one of the people]
Mr. SkullHead: hold it, Your not dead yet, you just got bit is all!
[SkullHead pulls him under the cloud floor, cut to Jason's front yard, the kids and SkullHead get down from the roof, and Ash comes outside]
Ash: Well, were never doing something like this again.
Jason: Good, now for Alex.
Mr. SkullHead: Right!
[SkullHead lifts his syth and points it at Dog Alex, He zaps Him but Alex turns into a Caveman]
Jason: OH MY GOD!
Mr. SkullHead: Well that’s good. I'm going home.
Ed: same here, this is just too much for me.
[Ed and SkullHead go off]
Jason: Hey wait Guys come Back!
Sarah: Hey, I think my soups are on now!
Ash: same with my hunting show!
[Ash goes into the house and Sarah walks away]
Jason: Guys… Guys… Fine forget you all! Come on Alex lets go smash the TV.