[Open to Pet Shop, SkullHead is on the floor talking to the Pet Shop owner who's at a desk]
Mr. SkullHead: Look man, some one with my size needs a guard dog. A dog that can tear a human limb form limb!
Pet Shop owner: I'm sorry sir. I only sell cute dogs here.
Mr. SkullHead: Well, do you sell exotic pets?
Pet Shop owner: No.
Mr. SkullHead: What about pets with abnormal abilities!
Pet Shop owner: oh wait right here.
[The Pet Shop owner goes to a cage and brings something out, he places it in front of SkullHead. It's Taco!]
Pet Shop owner: This is a dog with just that.
Mr. SkullHead: Well what can it do!
Taco: Taco bell.
Mr. SkullHead: Hold on! Is this the taco bell dog!
Pet Shop owner: Yes, he is, He was fired because girl dogs kept talking to him.
Mr. SkullHead: How much!
Pet Shop owner: $8.00.
Mr. SkullHead: Sold!
[Cut to Jason's house, Jason is sitting down watching TV Alex, Zim, and Ash are there too. SkullHead walks in with taco on a leash]
Mr. SkullHead: hay Gang, What you think of my pooch!
Jason: you got a dog.
Mr. SkullHead: Not, just any dog. His name is Taco, and he can do something cool. [Turns to taco] Taco Speak!
Taco: Taco bell.
Ash: Good lord!
Alex: Hey, cool!
Jason: yeah… Cool.
Zim: what's the matter Jason, Jealous of his dog!
Jason: no, I just don't find it vary interesting. It's Just a dog.
Mr. SkullHead: It's not just a dog, it's the one dog [Close up on face, voice gets load] To Rule them all! [Return to normal]
Jason: Well that’s fine.
Mr. SkullHead: Ha, it's true you are Jealous!
Jason: No, I'm not…
Mr. SkullHead: Yes, you are, you’re so jealous, but go ahead try and proof your not!!!
Jason: Ok Fine, I'll get my own dog, and it will be even less interesting then yours!!! Just Watch!!!!
Alex: Well that was interesting. Well I'll go into the kitchen and make us a snack.
Ash: Oh, no you don't remember last time!
[Cut to Jason's kitchen, Alex is standing at a counter with stuff to make a sandwich, its dark outside the window, and the clock reads midnight]
Alex: Hello there, welcome to cooking with Alex, today we will be making a midnight sandwich, What you'll need is Baloney, Salami, Pepperoni, American cheese, wheat bread and… [Goes under the counter and pulls up a George Forman Grill] a George Forman Grill.
[Alex starts to make the sandwich, Words scroll across the screen as he makes it says [Brilliant Advertisement, Brilliant Advertisement, Brilliant Advertisement, and Also Buy Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy]; He finishes making the Sandwich and Puts it in the grill]
Alex: when done Put it in the grill, on high, and leave it in for about 12 minutes; however, I had one already made.
[Alex Pulls out a sandwich, suddenly the lights turn on and Ash walks into the room looking tired]
Ash: Alex what are you doing here late at night?
Alex: Hosting a cooking show.
Ash: To who [Looks at another counter and sees a monkey on it] you’re at the house this late a night to teach a monkey how to cook, don't you have your own house!
Alex: Well For number one, an audience is an audience…
Ash: Can't disagree with that…
Alex: And two, I did have a house, but my dad mi…
Ash: Hey is that my sandwich!
Alex: What! Are you saying that I'm some kind of Sandwich stealer, that I’m a sandwich thief, sir how dear you!
Ash: Get out of my house! Monkey attack!
Alex: It's not your house it's Jason's house!
[Monkey attacks Alex who runs off in pain; Ash Grabs the sandwich and starts to eat it]
Ash: Stupid Alex With his stupid Cooking show, all he ever dose is burn things. [Suddenly the George Forman Grill explodes into fire] Ah, darn it!
Alex: oh the pain!
[Cut to Jason's kitchen at the present time, Alvin Comlix is sitting at the table]
Jason: Dad, remember when you said I could get a pet?
Alvin Comlix: Yeah I remember, I said you could get a pet at anytime…
Jason: Right so, I'm off to the pet store…
Alvin Comlix: Just as long as it's not a dog, you mom dose not like dogs…
Jason: But dad…
Alvin Comlix: Now Jason, you know the reason you mom has a metal plate in her head that picks up radio waves is because as a kid she was attacked by a pack of dogs.
Jason: But dad…
Alvin Comlix: Jason!
Jason: oh fine, I'll get a cat.
Alvin Comlix: There's a good boy.
[Alex Walks away Mallory Comlex walks in clean the walls with a duster]
Mallory Comlex: it's the top of the 3rd inning with two outs and 2 men on base, the tigers better plan something, because they are looking doomed out there…Right you are Ted.
[Cut to pet store, Jason is standing with Sarah talking to the Pet Shop owner]
Pet Shop owner: So you want a cat.
Pet Shop owner: With a sad face,
Pet Shop owner: Odd Color.
Pet Shop owner: That is indestructible,
Pet Shop owner: And has a personality like the legendary Bill the cat,
Sarah: And it has to be orange.
Sarah: I like Orange cats.
Jason: Sarah this is going to be my cat…
Sarah: Do this and I'll pretend to be your girl Friend at the next school dance.
Jason: What she said, it has to be Orange.
Pet Shop owner: [Looks Frightened for a moment, but then has the face of shock] I wonder now, yes, an odd combination. [Pulls out a large Metal cage] This cat we have tried to fix over 15 times, never once has it worked. I think…This cat will do.
Jason: Ok thank you.
[Cut to Ed's backyard, SkullHead is playing Fetch with Taco, Alex, Ed, and Ash is sitting on a bench near by]
Ed: If I never see another stupid animal, it will be too soon.
Ash: I agree to that.
[Jason and Sarah so up]
Jason: Hey, people I got a new cat.
Alex: I thought you were getting a dog.
Ash: Na, His moms afraid of dogs.
Ed: Hence, the metal plat gags earlier in the episode.
Alex: oh yeah, nearly forgot about that.
Jason: Shut Up, I got a cat…
[Jason puts the metal cage down on the ground, he opens the door, from the darkness of the cage Phil the Cat emerges, he comes out and sits on the round for a moment he says nothing]
Jason: His name is Phil, he doesn't say much but he's even more stupid then Taco, See SkullHead I'm not jealous.
Mr. SkullHead: Bah, You’re sad Jason.
[Taco walks over to Phil, for a moment they do nothing]
Taco: Taco! [Starts Growling]
Sarah: Hey taco, leave Phil alone.
[Phil Jumps up to Sarah and turns his head to Taco]
Phil: [Blows Raspberry]
Taco: [Grows loader]
Alex: [walks over to taco] ok taco cut it out.
[Taco suddenly jumps on Alex and starts tarring him apart]
Jason: Oh my go, They Killed Alex!
Alex: I'm Not dead yet!
[Taco Jumps off of Alex and tries to attack Sarah but SkullHead pulls on his collar]
Mr. SkullHead: taco man, what's wrong with you. [Suddenly smells something] hey what's that smell. Smells yummy.
[Everyone starts smelling]
Ash: Smells Like taco meat.
Ed: Hey, they did open that new taco bell on the other end of town.
Everyone: Taco Bell!?
[Taco Suddenly Jumps over the fence]
Mr. SkullHead: Taco!
Ash: Come on, he will head east of here across town!
[Everyone leaves the backyard except for Phil]
[Cut to the outside of city hall, Gov. Adam West is standing at a microphone; Agent 1 and agent 2 are standing right next to him]
Gov. Adam West: As your new Governor, I say Taxis are too high, and they need to be lowered so you people will stop trying to get into my office and beat me up!
Agent 1: Good one sir!
[Suddenly Taco runs Past Adam West, fallowed by the gang, they push down Adam West as they run by]
Agent 2: Sir! stop right there you Assassins!
[Agent 1 and 2 pull out there guns and start shooting at the gang, suddenly Adam West stands up]
Agent 1: Sir Stay down we will get them.
Gov. Adam West: No need I have just the thing... In my... Utility Belt...
[Adam West Pulls out A bat-arrange and throws it, it hits Ash and he falls to the ground, Adam West and the Agents go up to him]
Gov. Adam West: So you thought you could get away with it. Well no one beats up Batman and lives to tell the tail! Agents shoot him!
[Agent 1 and 2 Pull out there guns and point them at Ash]
Ash: Ah butterfingers!
[Cut to Outside Ray’s Wood, Officer P. I. Gamming is looking at wooden Desks. Zim Is walking past with a bag when Taco Runs Past him, suddenly the gang also runs past him]
Zim: Ah Stupid Dog! Stupid Humans!
[Suddenly Officer P. I. Gamming realizes Zim is standing there, and that he’s an Alien]
Officer P. I. Gamming: Oh, My god! You’re an Alien!
Zim: Ah no officer, I’m a Simple Earth Child. He let me show you my school ID… [Takes out a Mind Wiper and Erases Officer P. I. Gamming’s Mind]…Ok Earther This never Happened got it! [Walks Away]
Officer P. I. Gamming: Ok… Bye-Bye Mr. Fireman.
[Cut to Outside Taco Bell, Taco is just about to jump thought the Doors when SkullHead and the others grab him and pull him back]
Taco: [Starts Growling]
Mr. SkullHead: Taco you do not want to go in there.
Ed: yeah think what they might do to ya!
Mr. SkullHead: They would use you as advertisement!
Ed: I thought there taco meat came from dogs?
[Everyone looks Wide-eyed at Ed for a moment]
Mr. SkullHead: Taco Please you have to here me…Taco…
[Taco suddenly flashbacks to when he was young, he’s at a Taco Bell Studios, the director puts a taco in front of him]
Director: Ok Kid, All you need to say is “Taco Bell…Good”, Ok go.
Director: Kid Say your line...
Director: Kid Line!
Director: Say something!
Taco: Taco [Barks]
Director: No, it’s “Taco Bell…Good”!
Taco: [Starts growling]
Director: Can someone get another dog in here!
[Cut back to Reality, Everyone is holding on to taco, suddenly taco Realizes What he has done and starts licking SkullHead]
Mr. SkullHead: Taco your Back!
[Everyone lets go]
Jason: well that’s good.
Ed: Yeah another moment and she would have dragged us in.
[Suddenly Ash walks over to the group, badly beaten]
Ed: Dude what happened to you?
Ash: For your sake, ask me when I’m in the mood.
Sarah: Well ok, but I wonder what turned Taco Back to normal.
Mr. SkullHead: Who cares, I’m just glad to have you back man!
Taco: Taco! [Starts Licking SkullHead]
Mr. SkullHead: ok Jason, You win man. I no longer think you’re jealous of me!
Jason: Well good!
Alex: Hey Where’s Phil the Cat?
Ash: I bet still in the yard wasting his life somehow.
[Cut to Jason’s back Yard, Phil Is Sitting on the ground, Suddenly He pulls an Old Soviet Union Guard Hat from his back and puts it on, Salutes and Blows Raspberry, The Soviet Flag Replaces the Background and Soviet Music Plays; it’s like this for a moment]