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Officer P. I. Gamming
Governor Adam West
PBS Man 1
Hotel owner Jareth Boyer
[Opens to Hell, a sign is in from that says Welcome to Hell below it says population 964,257,634,085,203,425,80…..(The last number keeps rising). Fire and brim stone everywhere, in the background are large mountains and volcano’s . Large booming music is playing, then it suddenly stops, two guys walk in and look at the sign that says welcome to hell. A large building crane appears and picks up the sign and drags it away, then returns with a sign that says Welcome to Deathland (Sub line is the same as before). Cut to Devil’s home. Devil is sitting on the sofa, when he speaks his voice is big.]
Devil: [sighs] I don’t see what’s the matter with he name of the underworld. Dang it the big guy can’t leave me alone for a second can he. [Goes over to the window to look over the land] I mean, I can’t help it if people like it down here!
[Cut to Deathland market place, hundreds of people are on the streets, all of different race, color and species. They all appear to be having a good time. Zombies are playing Music, children are having fun, small demons are chancing cats, and people are shopping, cut back to devils window]
Devil: It’s bad enough that I rule this land, and yet I have to deal with its problems, I need a vacation.
[Cut to Jason’s TV room, Zim and Sissy Comlix is sitting on the sofa watching Red Green]
Mr. Red: Tonight on the show we will be turning a car into a oven.
Mr. Red: Then we will turning some old piping into a Shotgun.
Zim: Even more Brilliant!
Mr. Red: Then we will turn some more useless crud into a weapon of mass destruction…
Zim: Please, Please say Nuclear Warhead!
Mr. Red: Then we will….
[Red green is interrupted by PBS Man 1]
PBS Man 1: Due to the fact that nobody watches this channel, we have been forced to cancel Red Green.
Sissy Comlix: Aw man.
[Zim just sits in shock]
Zim: Young earth worm, please leave the room.
Sissy Comlix: What, why?
Zim: I SAID LEAVE! LEAVE NOW BEFORE I GET EVEN MORE ANGRY!
[Sissy Comlix leaves the room, Zim stands up]
[Zim is cut off with a seen of bells ringing and house kicking a man, it then changes to a view of a Sticksvill Road, several people are standing and looking up, Governor Adam West and Agent 1 are also standing]
Governor Adam West: What on earth was that, mole men?
Agent 1: No sir, mole men make no sound at all.
Governor Adam West: Oh yeah, almost for got.
[Cut to hotel in San Francisco, Devil is standing by a desk, hotel owner is talking to him]
Hotel Owner: So mister Devil how long will you be checking in with us?
Demon: At least a week, Then I’m off to New York
Hotel Owner: Ok then, say will you be using cash or check?
Hotel Owner: Ok then, do you have a death wish?
Demon: Well I… Wait what?
Hotel Owner: Would you like a room on the top floor or the first floor?
[Cut to Jason’s home, Alvin Comlix, Mallory Comlix, and Sissy Comlix are all dressed nice]
Alvin Comlix: Jason! Hurry up, were going to be late for Church
Jason: Oh come on, after everything you seen you still believe in GOD!
Mallory Comlix: What do you mean?
Jason: The Grim Reaper, zombies, aliens, and Mole People? If there was a god you think he would prevent stuff like that.
Alvin Comlix: Jason I will not have you question our religion!
Jason: What religion is ours again?
Alvin Comlix: JUST HURRY UP!
[Cut to church, several people are sitting down. The Comlixs are sitting in the front row, the priest comes up to the alter to talk]
Priest: People, normally I talk about good will of men, and Peace. But to day I’ll talk about the lowness of Heck.
People in Church: [Gasps]
Priest: Heck is run by a low, dirty nasty bring, who if you met, you would die! He is a monster like noun other, I call him Steve, but his name is the Devil.
[Cut top San Francisco hotel, Devil is relaxing By the pool, suddenly Demon 1 appears in a puff of smoke]
Demon 1: Sir, sir. We have an emergency!
Devil: Oh tiny one, I do not want to deal with this today.
Demon 1: But sir…
Devil: Is World War 3 starting?
Demon 1: Not for another 25 years, but…
Devil: Has the plague returned?
Demon 1: Not for another 18 months, but…
Devil: Has William Shatner Invented, Permanent shampoo?
Demon 1: No Sir, not yet...
Devil: Then what ever it is, I’m not interested!
Demon 1: But Sir, It’s about Act 22,547,547!
Devil: [Suddenly looks in shock] What!
Demon 1: Sir Someone called you Steve!
Devil: [Angrily] WHAT!
[Cut Back to church, The priest is still ranting, when suddenly Devil appears. With his arrive Black smoke fills the room, a small volcano appears behind him]
Devil: People of this city! You have angered me!
People in Church: [Screams]
Devil: You are guilty of the Neutral act of 22,547,547! Small one hand me the scroll!
[Demon 2 fly’s up and hands Devil the scroll]
Demon 2: here you go boss.
Devil: [Reading] Who ever calls the devil by a terrible name, the one and his town will face the devils face and be fried to a crisp. The names include; Tim, Tom, Adam, Derek, David, Sam, Samantha, Lily, Carl, Ed, Edward, Eddy, and Steve!
People in Church: [Screams]
Jason: Oh man! This is Why I don’t believe in god!
[Devil notes what Jason said]
Devil: [Calmly] What, you don’t believe in god?
Devil: Please tell me, I want to know.
Jason: Oh, it’s a long story.
Devil: I got time, [Grabs a chair and sits down]
Alvin Comlix: Do it Jason, maybe he might not kill us.
Jason: Well ok, you see Mr. Devil…
[Cut to PBS Building, Zim is sneaking around the back, he enters a door, but soon comes face to face with two guards]
Zim: Foolish Earthiest! You think you can stop me, fear me, I know Kong Fu!
[A counter appears at the bottom of the screen, It shows the amount of guards Zim beats up. Zim beats up the two Guards, suddenly more and more guards appear, he beats all of them up, but more keep coming]
Zim: My god where are all of the earthers coming from!
[Zim continues to fight the guards, after about a minute of fighting he starts to clime the main stairs, still fighting guards, The count keeps climbing, cut back to church, Jason is still talking to devil]
Jason:… And then, the guy puts the stuff on my head, and all my hair Falls out!
Devil: My god, all of it!
Alvin Comlix: Wow I thought You were just going though a phase.
Devil: So tell me more.
Jason: Well, A few weeks later…
[Cut Back to PBS, Now on the top floor all that is visible is a door. Zim suddenly comes thought the door and puts a sofa in front of it, The counter on the bottom of the screen now has 527 guards on it, it blinks out. Zim sits on the sofa]
Zim: They Have the money to hire hundreds of guards, Yet they can’t keep Red Greed on the Air. No wonder no one watches them!
[Zim suddenly realizes that he’s in the PBS Boss’s office, he looks around, then he hears whimpering, he looks behind a certain to find PBS Boss]
Zim: What in the Spider-man!
PBS Boss: He’s growing stronger…
Zim: Who! WHO IS GROWING STRONGER!
PBS Boss: The… The puppet… The puppet…
PBS Puppet: Yes.
[Zim turns to see PBS Puppet sitting at the desk]
Zim: Grand maker of the celestial light!
PBS Puppet: What, Is it that hard to believe, we are the masters here.
Zim: By god’s Finger. It’s true. The Puppets control the Public broadcasting station
PBS Puppet: You mean Puppet Brainwashing Station.
Zim: Good Lord! That explains everything now, you got rid of Red Green because his show did not have the right ratings to bring in children, Your taking over the world. Starting with the next generation!
PBS Puppet: Yes It’s true, by now 30% of the population has been unaffected. There is nothing you can do to stop us! Not that you’ll be alive much longer anyway.
Zim: So, what’s that suppose to mean?
PBS Puppet: Take a look for yourself.
[Suddenly Hundreds of Ninjas, Guards, solder Puppets appear behind PBS Puppet, the counter reappears, this time with a thousands place on it, it’s at 527]
Zim: oh I see…
PBS Puppet: You didn’t think it would be that easy did you.
Zim: You know [Long pause] for a moment there [Long pause] I did.
PBS Puppet: Silly Rabbit…
Zim: …Tricks are…
PBS Puppet: …For kids.
[Zim and PBS Puppet stair at one another]
PBS Puppet: I have this cool music for you to die from.
Zim: Bring it.
[Matrix music starts playing, Zim jumps to fight the army of puppets, Cut back to church, Jason has just finished telling his story to devil]
Devil: My god, your life is bad…
Jason: You have no idea.
Devil: Well, I too have been given problems right from god, he forced me to rename my home.
Jason: What do you call it now?
Alvin Comlix: WHAT!
Governor Adam West: WHAT!
Agent 1: WHAT!
Mr. SkullHead: WHAT THE [Censored] HAVENS! !
Taco: taco bell!
[Every looks to the door to see SkullHead and Taco Walking in]
Mr. SkullHead: Today is just not my day.
Jason: Why what happened?
Mr. SkullHead: Well first your Stupid uncle gets me to bring a dead T-Rex to life…
Ash: [from distance] Did not!
Mr. SkullHead: Then I have to go to PBS because of some massacre, and now this. My God Can’t Things be normal around here for one day!
Devil: hmmmmm. You are right reaper. My presence here only makes thing more, unsettling. I must take leave, besides, I’m on vacation.
Demon 2: But sir, the law.
Devil: Who made up that silly law anyway?
Demon 1: You did sir.
Devil: Oh, well then um… Lets just pretend this never happened.
Mr. SkullHead: Agreed.
[Devil disappears and the building returns to normal]
Alvin Comlix: Well that’s the last time I go to church, come on gang Lets all go get ice cream.
[everyone leaves, but the priest enters the confession box, when everyone is gone Zim enters and also goes into the confession box]
Zim: forgive My earth father for I have sinned.
Priest: How have you sinned.
[the counter re appears It is now at 2461, the credits begin to roll but stop suddenly, cut to Ed and Alex standing by a highway, they are waiting for Jason]
Alex: I told you he would not pick us up.
Ed: he’ll be here.
Alex: yeah right, forget you dude, I’m heading home.
[Alex walks into the street, Suddenly a car comes by and runs him over, It was devils car, Ed just looks around realizing that Jason is not around to say his line]
Alex: [Weakly] not… dead yet.
[Cut to credits]