The RS Mr. Conductor and Friends version of Escape and Other Stories is a TV/Thomas parody of the Thomas UK video of the same name. It features ten third season episodes of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends narrated by Michael Angelis.


  • RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
  • Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
  • Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry
  • Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon
  • Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James
  • Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
  • Grandpa Dave (from Arthur) as Toby
  • Spike (from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) as Duck
  • Mario (from Mario) as Donald
  • Luigi (from Mario) as Douglas
  • GC Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Oliver
  • Tex (from Shining Time Station) as Bill
  • Rex (from Shining Time Station) as Ben
  • Mr. Burns (from The Simpsons) as Diesel
  • Roger Baxter (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as BoCo
  • Patty (from The Simpsons) as Annie
  • Selma (from The Simpsons) as Clarabel
  • Goombas (from Mario) as The Troublesome Trucks
  • Ten Cents (from TUGS) as Bertie
  • Sunshine (from TUGS) as Trevor
  • Fuzzy Lumpkins (from The Powerpuff Girls) as Bulgy
  • Budgie (from Budgie the Little Helicopter) as Harold
  • Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
  • Reverend Lovejoy (from The Simpsons) as The Vicar of Wellsworth
  • Quarry Manager (from TUGS) as The Quarrymaster
  • Fisher Biskit (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as The Other Railway Foreman
  • Lanolin (from Garfield/US Acres) as Henrietta (does not speak)
  • Toad (from Mario) as Toad (does not speak)
  • Flash Sentry (from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) as Flying Scotsman (not named; does not speak)
  • Meg (from Family Guy) as Mavis (cameo)
  • Carol Pewterschmidt (from Family Guy) as Lady Hatt (cameo)
  • Lil (from Rugrats) as Bridget Hatt (cameo)
  • Eustace (from Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Jeremiah Jobling (cameo)
  • Mrs. Twombly (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)
  • Lazy Luke (from Wacky Races) as Jem Cole (cameo)
  • Orson (from Garfield/US Acres) as Farmer Trotter (cameo)
  • Everyone else as Themselves


  1. Buzz Buzz
  2. All at Sea
  3. One Good Turn
  4. Big TV Characters
  5. Escape
  6. GC Mr. Conductor Owns Up
  7. Fuzzy Lumpkins
  8. Heroes
  9. Bart, Schemer and the Fruitful Day
  10. RS Mr. Conductor and Bart's Christmas Adventure


Buzz Buzz

Narrator: "Sunshine the Star Tug was enjoying his work in the vicarage orchard. Birds were singing, and apples were ripening on the trees. It was a lovely day."

Schemer: "Hello, Sunshine."

Narrator: "Said Schemer.

Schemer: "You look as bright and cheerful as my clothes."

Sunshine: "Oh, I am."

Narrator: "Replied Sunshine."

Schemer: "What's that noise?"

Narrator: "Asked Schemer."

Sunshine: "It's the bees.

Narrator: "Laughed Sunshine."

Sunshine: "They're all in these boxy things called beehives. I'm taking them to the station. Reverend Lovejoy says his bees make good honey, and he's giving some of them to his friends."

Narrator: "Just then, Roger Baxter hummed in."

Roger Baxter: "Take care, you two. Don't make the bees angry. They might sting you."

Narrator: "Schemer didn't like being told what to do by a Baxter, and he buzzed away."

Roger Baxter: "Goodbye, Sunshine."

Narrator: "Called Roger, and set off to see Spike at the next station.

Tex and Rex, the cowboy twins, were busy arranging goombas, but they scampered off when they saw Roger."

Roger Baxter: "I remember the first time I met those two."

Narrator: "Laughed Roger."

Roger Baxter: "They nearly made my eyes pop out. Edd soon put a stop to their games."

Spike: "Edd is the only one who can keep Tex and Rex in order."

Narrator: "Chuckled Spike."

Spike: "I sometimes call them 'The Bees'."

Roger Baxter: "A good name."

Narrator: "Replied Roger."

Roger Baxter: "They're terrors when they start buzzing around."

Narrator: "Schemer bustled in."

Schemer: "What's that, Spike?

Narrator: "He snorted."

Schemer: "Are you afraid of bees? They're only insects, after all, so don't let that buzzbox man tell you different."

Spike: "His name is Roger Baxter, and he didn't. We..."

Schemer: "I wouldn't care.

Narrator: "Interrupted Schemer."

Schemer: "If hundreds were swarming around. I'd just blow at them and make them buzz off."

Spike: "Buzz buzz buzz."

Narrator: "Retorted Spike.

The next morning, Schemer arrived at the station to collect his flowers. The passengers were excited, and keen to get on board. The platform was crowded, and the porter was in a hurry."

Porter: "Mind your backs."

Narrator: "He shouted.

Then, there was trouble. The beehive fell and broke open.

The station cleared like magic.

Schemer heard a familiar buzzing. The bees were too cold to be cross, so they buzzed around the fireman, hoping he'd mend their hive, but he didn't understand, nor did his driver, so the bees turned to Schemer. His body was nice and warm."

Schemer: "Buzz off! Buzz off!"

Narrator: "Hissed Schemer.

One bee burnt his foot."

Bee: "Ooh, aah, ooh! ooh!"

Narrator: "The bee thought Schemer burnt him on purpose.

So it stung Schemer right back on the nose."

Schemer: "EEEE!"

Narrator: "Whistled Schemer. He had had enough. So had his fireman and driver.

They didn't notice till too late that they had left all of their flowers behind. They tried everything to get rid of the bees.

First, they spun around on the turntable, but to no avail.

They tried washing them off, but the bees clung harder to Schemer's warm body.

Then they tried smoking them off by going through a long tunnel, but still, the bees wouldn't go away.

Schemer's Driver: "It's no good, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Schemer's Driver: "We'll just have to go back to the orchard, and fetch another hive."

Narrator: "Schemer's reply was drowned by the sound of buzzing.

Reverend Lovejoy was waiting anxiously for Schemer.

When he arrived, the bees swarmed straight into their new home."

Schemer's Driver: "Come on, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Schemer's Driver: "What you need now is a good hose-down."

Narrator: "Later that day, Schemer was resting in his house, when Reverend Lovejoy came to see him."

Reverend Lovejoy: "Thank you for saving my bees."

Narrator: "He said."

Reverend Lovejoy: "It's a pity it's not Christmas; then we could call you Schemer the Red-Nosed Man!"

Narrator: "Everyone laughed, even Schemer. But instead, they decided to call Schemer 'The Bees' Knees', which means they thought he was more useful than ever."

All at Sea

Narrator: "Bart and Spike like working at the harbor by the sea.

On a clear summer's night, there's no better place to be.

The big ships bring passengers, cargo ships carry machinery and other things. Spike and Bart puffed backwards and forwards with the crates of cargo as they are loaded and unloaded by the keyside.

One morning, Spike and Bart noticed that the horizon was packed with sails flapping against the blue sky."

Spike: "I wish I could sail to faraway lands."

Narrator: "Sighed Spike."

Bart: "Dragons can't go sailing,"

Narrator: "Snorted Bart."

Bart: "Because dragons can't float."

Narrator: "Spike still had his dreams.

Suddenly, they were rudely interrupted."

Budgie: "Wakey, wakey."

Narrator: "Hovered Budgie."

Spike: "I'm looking at the boats."

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Budgie: "That's the regatta."

Narrator: "Whirred Budgie."

Budgie: "Lots of boats, lots of races. Great fun. I hover around in case I'm needed."

Spike: "Do you go to the horizon?"

Narrator: "Asked Spike."

Budgie: "Yes, and beyond."

Bart: "I didn't know there was a beyond."

Narrator: "Whispered Bart."

Spike: "Do you go to other places at sea?"

Narrator: "Continued Spike."

Budgie: "Certainly. I can land on ships, you know. Anywhere, anytime. Goodbye."

Narrator: "Spike sighed.

He went on talking about the regatta all day. Bart lost patience."

Bart: "Well, Spike, I'd rather have my feet on solid ground. The ground can take us to all the places we could ever wish to see."

(Siren goes off)

Spike's Driver: "That's an emergency."

Narrator: "Called Spike's driver."

Spike's Driver: "I'll check with the harbor master."

Narrator: "He returned with bad news."

Spike's Driver: "A man taking part in the regatta has hurt his hand. We're to take him to the hospital at the next station. Budgie's bringing him now. Come on!"

Budgie: "Good to see you again, Spike."

Narrator: "Whirred Budgie, as he landed carefully on the platform. The man was gently helped to safety."

Budgie: "My job is to stay at sea in case of other emergencies. Otherwise I would take this gentleman to a hospital myself. Must fly, goodbye."

Narrator: "Spike set off on his journey. Soon, he was running well, and his feet were thundering along the ground.

When they reached the station, the man thanked everyone, and Ten Cents got ready to take him to the hospital."

Ten Cents: "You look splendid flying along the path, Spike."

Narrator: "Glowed Ten Cents."

Ten Cents: "No wonder they call you 'Baby Dragon'."

Spike: "Bart's right."

Narrator: "Spike thought to himself."

Spike: "Dragons are happiest when their feet are firmly on the ground."

Narrator: "That night, Bart and Spike stayed a little longer at the key. The air was warm, and the sea calm."

Spike: "There's a shooting star!"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Bart: "Don't be daft."

Narrator: "Laughed Bart."

Bart: "It's Budgie. Look, he's hovering overhead."

Narrator: "Something fluttered down overhead towards Spike.

His driver caught it."

Spike's Driver: "It's a flag from the regatta! Budgie's giving it to you as a present, Spike."

Spike: "That was kind of Budgie."

Narrator: "Whispered Spike."

Spike: "He may have whirly arms instead of legs, but he seems to understand just what a dragon needs."

Narrator: "Spike still wonders about the lands beyond the horizon, but he enjoys being with friends most of all and I think he knows that sometimes, the best travels are those we can only dream about. Don't you?"

One Good Turn

Narrator: "Tex and Rex are the most mischievous TV characters working on Mayor Adam West's land. They are kept busy pushing and pulling goombas up and down the road that runs from the china clay works to the harbor yard.

They like to have fun together and often play tricks and the workmen. But sometimes their teasing ways can get them into trouble.

One morning, Mayor West came to see them."

Mayor Adam West: "Important goods have arrived in the big yard. Tex and Rex, I need you to help the other TV characters."

Tex and Rex: "Oh, yes. Of course, sir."

Narrator: "Said the twins. They set off happily on their important mission.

Roger Baxter was resting in the yards when suddenly he heard a pair of familiar whistles."

Roger Baxter: "Hmm."

Narrator: "Sighed Roger."

Roger Baxter: "Here comes trouble."

Tex: "Mayor West told us you were tired."

Narrator: "Teased Tex."

Tex: "He asked us to take all your goombas for you."

Roger Baxter: "You two never stop, do you?"

Narrator: "Chuckled Roger."

Roger Baxter: "But I'm wise to your pranks, and we do need your help here."

Narrator: "The twins were soon busy pushing and pulling the goombas into place.

At last, the day's work was done.

The twins now became excited. They were going to use the turntable for the first time.

Tex went first."

Tex: "This is fun!"

Narrator: "He shrieked to Rex. He didn't want to move off at all. The foreman stopped the turntable."

Foreman: "Please make way for the other characters!"

Narrator: "He ordered.

Tex did so, but unfortunately, the foreman had accidentally stopped the turntable in the wrong place. Tex was on the wrong road, and there was Rex walking directly towards him. The characters came to a grinding halt.

They gazed grimly at each other."

Tex: "I was here first!"

Narrator: "Said Tex."

Rex: "But you're in my way!"

Narrator: "Protested Rex."

Rex: "You'll have to back up again."

Tex: " I won't!"

Rex: "You will!"

Tex: "I won't!"

Narrator: "Mayor West came to stop the noise."

Mayor Adam West: "If you don't behave, I shall not allow you here again!"

Narrator: "The next day, Rex was still grumpy."

Rex: "That Tex! Imagine getting in my way on the turntable. He's a really silly cowboy!"

Roger Baxter: "The way I heard it,"

Narrator: "Sighed Roger."

Roger Baxter: "It sounded like you were both to blame!"

Rex: "Pooh! You must have heard it all wrong!"

Narrator: "The twins grumbled about each other all day.

Even kind Edd lost patience."

Edd: "All this grumbling spreads bad atmosphere in the yard."

Roger Baxter: "You're quite right. And that's why I've come up with a plan."

Narrator: "Roger whispered his plan to Edd.

Then his driver told Mayor Adam West."

Mayor Adam West: "I'll start making arrangements right away."

Narrator: "The next morning, he called Tex and Rex into the yard."

Mayor Adam West: "Roger Baxter is taking a special load to the harbor. His regular heavy goods is waiting on the siding. You can take it together."

Rex: "But..."

Tex: "But..."

Narrator: "Protested Tex and Rex, who were still not speaking to each other."

Mayor Adam West: "Good! I knew I could rely on you two."

Rex: "I'll take the goods myself."

Narrator: "Huffed Rex."

Tex: "Go right ahead."

Narrator: "Said Tex.

Rex was attracted to the goods, but it was too heavy for him to move alone."

Tex: "Go on!"

Narrator: "Teased Tex."

Rex: "I can't!"

Narrator: "Said Rex.

Then suddenly, both twins laughed."

Tex: "I don't think we'll take turns this time, Rex."

Narrator: "Said Tex."

Tex: "I think we better pull together."

Narrator: "Rex was delighted. It was good to be helping each other.

Best of all, it was good to be friends again."

Big TV Characters

Narrator: "One morning, Garfield was in the yard eating a large meal."

Schemer: "That's the third meal you've had today, Garfield."

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Schemer: "Some might say you're being rather greedy."

Garfield: "I'm an important cat."

Narrator: "Replied Garfield."

Garfield: "Important cats need plenty of food, but I doubt that you would understand that, Schemer."

Narrator: "Schemer snorted and went about his work.

Later, Garfield was taking on water from a standpipe because the water fountain was under repair."

Spike: "I wouldn't drink too much of that water if I were you, Garfield. It might give you a stomach ache."

Garfield: "Pah!"

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "What's this? Educating Garfield Day? First Schemer, now you, Spike. Big TV Characters have needs! Little TV Characters are just annoying!"

Spike: "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Narrator: "Laughed Spike.

Later, Garfield came into the yard at the big station."

Garfield: "That's what I need."

Narrator: "Exclaimed Garfield. There, emerging out of the sheds, were two shiny carts."

Garfield: "Now if I had two carts of food,"

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Garfield: "I wouldn't need to stop so often, and I wouldn't have to listen to silly, little TV Characters."

Garfield's Driver: "Those carts belong to a visitor."

Narrator: "Replied his driver. Mr. Burns sidled up alongside."

Mr. Burns: "Everyone knows that carts are a mark of distinction, but I'm afraid that no amount of carts will save you in the end. We rich men are taking over, and we don't need carts of food to make us important. Not even one."

Narrator: "Garfield was most upset. He was feeling just the same next day."

Garfield: "I'm not happy."

Spike: "I know."

Narrator: "Said Spike brightly."

Spike: "It's stomach ache."

Garfield: "It's not stomach ache."

Narrator: "Protested Garfield."

Garfield: "It's,"

Homer: "Of course, it is."

Narrator: "Interrupted Homer."

Homer: "That water's bad. Your body must be full of sludge. Have a good wash out, then you'll feel a different cat."

Garfield: "Don't be vulgar!"

Narrator: "Huffed Garfield. He backed down onto his line of flowers hissing mournfully."

Mayor Adam West: "Cheer up, Garfield."

Narrator: "Said Mayor Adam West."

Garfield: "I can't, sir. Is it true what Mr. Burns said, sir?"

Mayor Adam West: "What does he say?"

Garfield: "That rich men are taking over."

Mayor Adam West: "Don't worry, Garfield. That will never happen on my land."

Garfield: "And one more thing, sir. Why did the visitor have two carts of food?"

Mayor Adam West: "Because he lives on a land with long distances between food areas."

Narrator: "Garfield felt better.

But Homer started complaining. He banged some goombas angrily."

Homer: "I always work hard enough for two!"

Narrator: "He puffed."

Homer: "I deserve another cart."

Narrator: "Spike whispered something to Mario. He was going to play a trick on Homer."

Spike: "Homer,"

Narrator: "He asked innocently."

Spike: "Would you like my carts?"

Homer: "Yours? What have you got to do with carts?"

Spike: "All right."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "The deal's off. Would you like them, Mario?"

Mario: "I wouldn't deprive you of the honor."

Narrator: "Replied Mario."

Spike: "It is a great honor."

Narrator: "Continued Spike thoughtfully."

Spike: "But I'm only a baby dragon. Perhaps Schemer might..."

Homer: "I'm sorry I was rude."

Narrator: "Said Homer hastily."

Homer: "How many carts have you? And when can I have them?"

Spike: "Ah, hmm. I have six, and you can have them this evening."

Homer: "Six lovely carts!"

Narrator: "Chortled Homer."

Homer: "What a splendid sight I'll be."

Narrator: "Homer was excited all day."

Homer: "Do you think it'll be alright?"

Narrator: "He asked for the umpteenth time."

Spike: "Of course."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "They're already now."

Narrator: "The other TV Characters waited where they can each get a good view.

But Homer wasn't a splendid sight at all. His six carts were very old, dirty and filled with sludge."

Voice: "Have a good wash out, Homer?"

Narrator: "Called a voice."

Voice: "That's right! You'll feel a different man now."

Narrator: "Homer was not sure, but he thought the voice belonged to Garfield."


Narrator: "One day, Edd was talking to Sunshine when Luigi steamed by. He was working with some goombas."

Luigi: "Come on, Edd! Stop gossiping in the sun when there's work to be done."

Narrator: "Later, Edd spoke to Luigi."

Edd: "Sunshine and I are old friends, and you and he have a lot in common too."

Luigi: "Och aye."

Narrator: "Quizzed Luigi."

Luigi: "And what would that be?"

Edd: "Death."

Narrator: "Said Edd quietly. Luigi gasped."

Luigi: "Don't mention that word! It makes my legs wobble!"

Edd: "It does the same to Sunshine."

Narrator: "Said Edd."

Edd: "He was being sent to the scrapyard, but Reverend Lovejoy and I saved him and now he's really useful again. Even so, Mayor Adam West certainly does need another TV Character here."

Luigi: "Aye, and quickly."

Narrator: "Sighed Luigi.

That night, Luigi was still working. He had taken the midnight goods load to a station at a faraway part of TV Land where only the villains worked. He was just shunting, ready for his return journey, when..."

Luigi: "That sounds like a conductor."

Narrator: "He thought. The hiss came again."

Luigi: "Who's there?"

Narrator: "Asked Luigi. A whisper came."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Are you a Mayor Adam West's TV Character?"

Luigi: "Aye, and proud of it."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Thank goodness. I'm GC Mr. Conductor, and I'm with my friend, Toad. We've run out of gold dust, and have no more energy."

Luigi: "But what are you doing?"

GC Mr. Conductor: "Escaping."

Luigi: "From what?"

GC Mr. Conductor: "Death."

Narrator: "Luigi shivered. Then, he remembered Edd's story about saving Sunshine."

Luigi: "I'll be glad to help you. It'll have look though that you're ready for death and I'm taking you away."

Narrator: "Their drivers and firemen agreed to help too. Everyone worked fast."

Luigi: "No time to turn around."

Narrator: "Panted Luigi."

Luigi: "I'll walk backwards. Come on."

Narrator: "But before they could clear the station, they were stopped."

Fisher Biskit: "Aha!"

Narrator: "Called Fisher Biskit."

Fisher Biskit: "A conductor, and a toad too. You can't take these."

Luigi's Driver: "Och, but they're all for us."

Narrator: "Said Luigi's Driver."

Luigi's Driver: "See for yourself."

Narrator: "Fisher Biskit looked all over GC Mr. Conductor."

Fisher Biskit: "Seems in order. Right away, guard."

Luigi: "That was a near thing."

Narrator: "Puffed Luigi."

GC Mr. Conductor: "We've had worst."

Narrator: "Replied GC Mr. Conductor, and they forged ahead.

It was daylight when their journey ended."

Luigi: "We're home!"

Narrator: "Cried Luigi."

Luigi's Driver: "Shhh!"

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Luigi's Driver: "There are the works. We'll find a place for GC Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "GC Mr. Conductor said"

GC Mr. Conductor: "Goodbye and thank you."

Narrator: "And Luigi puffed away.

The next day, Luigi told the other TV Characters all about GC Mr. Conductor."

Schemer: "Mayor West will have to know."

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Garfield: "Luigi should tell him at once."

Narrator: "Added Garfield."

Mayor Adam West: "Well, here he is."

Narrator: "Said a voice."

Mayor Adam West: "Now, what's this all about?"

Spike: "Beg pardon, sir, but we do need another TV Character."

Garfield: "Yes, sir."

Narrator: "Ventured Garfield."

Garfield: "A conductor, sir."

Mayor Adam West: "I'm afraid that unless one is saved from death, there's little hope."

Luigi: "But sir,"

Narrator: "Burst out Luigi.:

Luigi: "One has."

Mayor Adam West: "Yes indeed. And thanks to you, Luigi, he is now at our works. GC Mr. Conductor is just what we need for Spike's route."

Narrator: "Everyone cheered.

Now GC Mr. Conductor and Toad are mended and given new coats. Spike and GC Mr. Conductor are happy on their route. The others laughed at first and called it "The Little TV Character". Spike and GC Mr. Conductor were delighted, and so the little TV character it will always be."

GC Mr. Conductor Owns Up

Narrator: "On a clear day when the sky is blue and there is just enough breeze to blow the clouds away, you can stand on a big hill above the valley and watch Spike and GC Mr. Conductor far below, busily at work on Spike's route near the sea. The two TV Characters are very proud of their gleaming colors. GC Mr. Conductor often talks about the time that Luigi saved him from death."

GC Mr. Conductor: "If it wasn't for his help,"

Narrator: "GC Mr. Conductor would say."

GC Mr. Conductor: "I might have been caught when I ran away from the scrapyard, and I would never have come to live here on Mayor Adam West's land."

Narrator: "The other TV Characters all wanted to know about GC Mr. Conductor's adventures."

Homer: "Amazing!"

Narrator: "Remarked Homer."

Schemer: "GC Mr. Conductor..."

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Schemer: "has resource."

Garfield: "And sagacity."

Narrator: "Put in Garfield."

Bart: "What does that mean?"

Narrator: "Whispered Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I think..."

Narrator: "Replied RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "it's about being clever and wise."

Garfield: "He is..."

Narrator: "Finished Garfield."

Garfield: "an example to us all."

Narrator: "I'm sorry to say that GC Mr. Conductor became very puffed up in his head."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Homer says I'm amazing. He's right."

Narrator: "He said as he swooshed along the path.

One day, Mayor West came to see him."

Mayor Adam West: "You are doing well. Now, you must learn how to look after goombas."

Narrator: "Every wise TV Character knows that you cannot trust goombas. The other TV Characters warned GC Mr. Conductor, but he took no notice."

GC Mr. Conductor: "You think I can't manage!"

Narrator: "He said huffley."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Garfield knows better. He says I'm sagacious."

Spike: "You maybe good gracious or whatever you call it, but goombas can be troublesome and..."

Mario: "Say no more, Spike."

Narrator: "Interrupted Mario."

Mario: "It maybe a pity, but the wee conductor will just have to learn it for himself."

Narrator: "GC Mr. Conductor pulled some loaded goombas into a siding and pushed the empties to the chute.

Then he came back to take the loaded goombas away. But they were comfortable and didn't want to move."

Goombas: "What right has he to poke his head in here?"

Narrator: "They grumbled."

Goombas: "We want Spike!

Or Mario!

Or Luigi!"

GC Mr. Conductor: "Look sharp!"

Narrator: "Huffed GC Mr. Conductor."

Goombas: "That's not the way to speak."

Narrator: "Hissed the goombas."

Goombas: "We'll pay him out."

Narrator: "GC Mr. Conductor heard nothing. The goombas moved smoothly at first, then suddenly, GC Mr. Conductor felt them push forward.

His driver applied the brakes, but they were useless against the surging goombas."

Goombas: "On! On! On!"

Narrator: "Yelled the goombas. GC Mr. Conductor forged hard. But still they forced him on and on.

At last, the goombas grew tired."

GC Mr. Conductor: "I'm winning."

Narrator: "Gasped GC Mr. Conductor. But it was too late.


GC Mr. Conductor layed bruised and benuised, bunkered down in the turntable well. Spike survaved the damaged."

Spike: "Hello, GC Mr. Conductor. Are you being a good gracious conductor? Beg pardon, of course, but we really don't like this sort of surprise. Mario and Luigi will miss their turntable until it's mended."

Narrator: "That evening, GC Mr. Conductor was hauled gently to safety."

GC Mr. Conductor: "I'm sorry, sir."

Narrator: "He said to Mayor West."

GC Mr. Conductor: "I should've listen to Spike's advice. I don't feel good gracious or whatever it is. I just feel silly."

Mayor Adam West: "Well GC Mr. Conductor,"

Narrator: "Replied Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "Now you know the damage goombas can do."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Yes I do, sir."

Narrator: "Groaned GC Mr. Conductor."

GC Mr. Conductor: "I look like a load of scrap iron."

Mayor Adam West: "Ho, ho! Oh, I don't think so."

Narrator: "Laughed Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "But you do need to go to the Hospital to be healed."

Narrator: "The other TV Characters now felt sorry for GC Mr. Conductor."

Spike: "The route won't be the same without you."

Narrator: "Whistled Spike."

Spike: "Come back soon."

Narrator: "A few days later, GC Mr. Conductor did come back. His coat gleemed brighter than ever. He was a wiser conductor too and never made a mistake about goombas again."

Fuzzy Lumpkins

Narrator: "It was a special holiday in TV Land. Ten Cents the Tug was working harder than ever before.

All the TV Characters were busy too.

Spike was waiting for his next journey. Near him stood a pink creature, but he didn't look friendly like Ten Cents. The creature growled as he gazed at the happy passengers."

Fuzzy Lumpkins: "Stupid nonsense."

Narrator: "He grumbled."

Fuzzy Lumpkins: "I wouldn't have brought them if I'd known. I'd have had a breakdown or something."

Spike: "I'm glad you didn't."

Narrator: "Smiled Spike."

Spike: "You'd have spoiled their fun."

Fuzzy Lumpkins: "Bah! Enjoyment is all you TV Characters live for. One day, TV Land will be ripped up!"

Narrator: "Spike felt shocked at such an idea."

Spike: "We have a friend called Ten Cents, and he's a tug, but he likes TV Land. Sometimes he teases us about it, but he'd never want to see it ripped up."

Fuzzy Lumpkins: "Heh!"

Narrator: "Growled the creature."

Fuzzy Lumpkins: "I know Ten Cents. He's too small in size to be of any use."

Narrator: "Spike took no notice."

Spike: "That creature is silly."

Narrator: "He thought, as he steamed away.

At the junction, Spike told GC Mr. Conductor all about him."

GC Mr. Conductor: "I call him Fuzz Lumpkins!"

Narrator: "Chuckled GC Mr. Conductor, and then he puffed happily away.

But that afternoon, when the two TV Characters met again, GC Mr. Conductor was no longer laughing."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Fuzzy Lumpkins' friend has come."

Narrator: "He said."

GC Mr. Conductor: "He's rude, too! He's taking Fuzzy's passengers home, so as to leave Fuzzy free to steal ours."

Spike: "But he can't!"

Narrator: "Objected Spike."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Fuzzy says he can get them to the big station before us."

Spike: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Spike: "It's much further by road."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Yes,"

Narrator: "Continued GC Mr. Conductor."

GC Mr. Conductor: "But Fuzzy says he knows a shortcut!"

Narrator: "That evening, the TV Characters were preparing for the homeward rush."

Spike: "Where are the passengers?"

Narrator: "They wondered."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Look!"

Narrator: "Shrilled GC Mr. Conductor."

GC Mr. Conductor: "Look at Fuzzy! He's a mean, scarlet deciever!"

Narrator: "Fuzzy Lumpkins was wearing a large sign saying 'TV Land Creature'."

Fuzzy Lumpkins: "Yeah, boo, snubs!"

Narrator: "He jeered, as he roared away."

Spike: "Come on,"

Narrator: "Puffed Spike to his flowers,"

Spike: "Let's see what he's up to!"

Narrator: "Spike wanted to pay Fuzzy out, but he wasn't sure how.

Then, in the distance, Spike saw a man waving a red flag. That meant 'Danger'.

The line here crosses a narrow road, and there was Fuzzy Lumpkins, wedged firmly under the bridge."

Spike: "So this was his shortcut."

Narrator: "Chuckled Spike."

Passengers: "He tricked us!"

Narrator: "Shouted Fuzzy's passengers."

Passengers: "He said he was a TV Land Creature, but he wouldn't accept our return tickets! He wanted us to think TV Land was no good!"

Narrator: "Spike's crew examined the bridge."

Spike's Driver: "It's risky, but we must help the passengers."

Spike: "Passengers are urgent."

Narrator: "Agreed Spike. Spike slowly and carefully set off across the bridge. Fuzzy wailed as he felt the bridge quiver."

Fuzzy Lumpkins: "Stop!"

Narrator: "He shouted."

Fuzzy Lumpkins: "It might fall on me!"

Spike: "That would serve you right for telling lies."

Narrator: "Said Spike, but the bridge didn't collapse.

Spike made good time, and all the passengers caught their rides.

The bridge is now mended, but not unfortunately, Fuzzy Lumpkins and his ways. He never learned sense. He's a henhouse now, and his lies can do no harm. The hens never listen to them anyway."


Narrator: "One morning, Tex and Rex were busy at the quarry, pushing and pulling goombas into their proper places. The twins are cheeky and love playing tricks, but they were growing restless."

Rex: "Listen, Tex."

Narrator: "Said Rex."

Rex: "Can you hear something?"

Tex: "What sort of something?"

Narrator: "Asked Tex."

Rex: "Something different."

Narrator: "Replied Rex."

Tex: "I can't hear anything different."

Narrator: "Said Tex."

Rex: "Exactly."

Narrator: "Huffed Rex."

Rex: "Everything is the same, sounds the same, looks the same. What we need is a surprise."

Tex: "Surprise what?"

Narrator: "Asked Tex. Before Rex could answer, the quarry manager arrived."

Quarry Manager: "I have just received a message from Mayor Adam West. He wants you to go to the station at the harbor."

Tex: "I wonder what we've done wrong this time."

Narrator: "Said Tex anxiously."

Rex: "It must be you."

Narrator: "Replied Rex."

Tex: "Why me?"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Tex."

Tex: "I've not done anything."

Narrator: "Mayor West was waiting for them."

Mayor Adam West: "Edd is taking the children on a special trip today. I want you to go to the station and look after goombas there."

Tex and Rex: "We'll do our best, sir."

Narrator: "Said the twins.

Garfield spoke severely to them."

Garfield: "You must behave here. You're on the main road now."

Rex: "Actually, Garfield."

Narrator: "Giggled Rex."

Rex: "When we saw you, we thought this was the scrapyard."

Narrator: "Garfield was cross."

Garfield: "Just make sure that my flowers are ready for my evening run."

Narrator: "And he fumed away."

Tex and Rex: "This is easy."

Narrator: "They said to each other."

Tex and Rex: "We know all about goombas."

Narrator: "But I'm afraid they didn't."

Goombas: "No need for that."

Narrator: "Shouted the goombas, as the twins pushed them into place."

Goombas: "We'll show you around. We want to help."

Tex and Rex: "Thank you very much."

Narrator: "Said Tex and Rex. The goombas giggled and began their tricks.

Evening came. The yard was in a dreadful muddle. The twins had let the goombas tell them were to put things.

Garfield and the passengers waited impatiently outside the station while Tex and Rex tried to sort things out.

But by the time Garfield was ready to leave, it was very late, indeed.

Next day, the twins were working in the quarry again."

(Rocks start falling)

Tex: "That's a strange noise."

Narrator: "Gasped Tex."

Tex: "I've never heard a noise like that before."

Tex's Driver: "I have."

Narrator: "Whispered his driver nervously."

Tex's Driver: "It sounds like a rock slide to me."

Narrator: "Then came the alarm."

Quarry Managr: "Danger! Clear the quarry!"

Narrator: "Shouted the quarry manager. Workmen scrambled to the goombas."

Tex and Rex: "Thank goodness we're here."

Narrator: "Said the twins.

They were just puffing out of the quarry when,"

Workman: "Help! Wait for me!"

Narrator: "A workman had been left behind. Rex waited as the man climbed quickly on the goombas.

The twins left the quarry just in time.

(Rock slide continues)

Everyone was safe, but rubble lay all around."

Tex: "Oh dear!"

Narrator: "Said Tex."

Mayor Adam West: "This wasn't our fault. I hope Mayor West will understand."

Narrator: "And indeed, he did. The next day, he arrived with Edd."

Mayor Adam West: "Tex and Rex, you still have a lot to learn about goombas, don't you? But you acted quickly and bravely in an emergency. So three cheers for Tex and Rex, our heroes!"

Mayor Adam West and Workmen: "Hip, hip, hooray, hooray, hooray!"

Tex: "Oh thank you, sir."

Narrator: "Said Tex."

Tex: "Being called heroes, well, it's, it's,"

Rex: "It's a very nice surprise."

Narrator: "Laughed Rex."

Bart, Schemer and the Fruitful Day

Narrator: "It was a splendid morning in TV Land.

Schemer was feeling very pleased with himself. His clothes gleamed in the sunshine as he sped along the road. He reached the junction just as Bart puffed in with some goombas. Schemer was surprised to see him.

Schemer: "What are you doing here, Bart? You should be at the next station by now. You're late."

Bart: "I know."

Narrator: "Sighed Bart."

Bart: "These goombas have been troublesome all morning."

Schemer: "That's no excuse, Bart."

Narrator: "Snorted Schemer."

Schemer: "Nothing should stop us. Mayor Adam West relies on us to be on time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way."

Narrator: "And Schemer puffed importantly away."

Bart: "Bossy head!"

Narrator: "Muttered Bart.

Schemer arrived at the harbour. It was market day. The harbour yard was filled with the sweet smell of fruit from faraway lands. The fruit was delivered in big ships. Schemer watched the strawberries, oranges, melons, and bananas were carefully loaded into his goombas. Then he set off to the station on the main road.

On the way, he met RS Mr. Conductor."

Schemer: "Really reliable, that's me!"

Narrator: "Panted Schemer proudly."

Schemer: "Pity the same can't be said for Bart. Peep, peep! Goodbye!"

Patty and Selma: "What was that about?"

Narrator: "Gasped Patty and Selma."

RS Mr. Conductor: "That was trouble. Trouble for Schemer. Just wait and see."

Narrator: "Bart was back in the yard, and busy arranging things. He had the goombas in good order, and was making up for lost time.

But the stationmaster had bad news.

Bart's Driver: "What's happened?"

Narrator: "Asked Bart's Driver."

Stationmaster: "Schemer's feet have jammed. We need Bart's help right away."

Narrator: "Bart quickly set off to the rescue.

He found Schemer stuck on the road, and looking glum. Bart couldn't help laughing."

Bart: "Got yourself in a jam, eh, Schemer? What you might call a sticky situation?"

Schemer: "Be quiet!"

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Schemer: "It's not funny having jammed feet."

Bart: "And not very reliable, either."

Narrator: "Teased Bart."

Bart: "I am surprised you let it happen, Schemer. Nothing should stop us TV Characters."

Bart's Driver: "That's enough, Bart."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Bart's Driver: "Can you push these goombas?"

Bart: "Of course I can."

Narrator: "Grunted Bart."

Bart: "There is no time to lose. Schemer's done too much of that already."

Narrator: "Schemer angrily hissed steam as Bart was coupled to the goombas."

Bart: "Off we go!"

Narrator: "Said Bart."

Bart: "I'll have to go fast to get there in time. These big TV Characters are so unreliable."

Bart's Driver: "Be careful, Bart."

Narrator: "Called his driver, but Bart was in a hurry.

He didn't see that the sign had failed, and that he had been diverted into a siding.

Bart's Driver: "Look out, Bart!"

Narrator: "Shouted his driver, and applied the brakes, but it was too late!


The driver and fireman had jumped clear, but squashed fruit squirted all over Bart.

Mayor Adam West arrived."

Mayor Adam West: "Bart, you are not to blame for the sign failure, but I do not run a jam factory!"

Bart: "Yes sir, no sir!"

Narrator: "And Bart squelched sadly away.

That night, the house was silent. Schemer and Bart felt very sorry for themselves. At last, RS Mr. Conductor spoke."

RS Mr. Conductor: "You know,"

Narrator: "He said to no one in particular,"

RS Mr. Conductor: "There's more than one way to get jammed. We all learned that today."

Narrator: "Still, there was silence."

RS Mr. Conductor: "What's more."

Narrator: "Continued RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "We also learned that sometimes when TV Characters help each other out of a..'jam', things can still go wrong.

Narrator: "'So?', said a voice."

RS Mr. Conductor: "So."

Narrator: "Finished RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: That means we learned a lot today. And there for..."

Narrator: "Then came a chorus."

Other TV Characters: "We're really useful TV Characters after all!"

RS Mr. Conductor and Bart's Christmas Adventure

Narrator: "If someday you should see RS Mr. Conductor puffing happily along the path, he may be on his way to a village nestled deep in the heart of TV Land.

One December morning, RS Mr. Conductor called to all his friends."

RS Mr. Conductor: "It's nearly Christmas, and I'll bring you lots of letters and parcels."

Narrator: "But a week later, the storms came.

TV Land was covered in thick snow. The TV characters found work difficult. Some had to help clear snow from the roads, and workmen hacked away at the frozen banks of ice.

RS Mr. Conductor and Bart were collecting important post for Christmas."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Driver says there's lots of post for the village."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'll need an extra goomba for it all."

Narrator: "Bart was feeling left out."

Bart: "It's not fair. You're not leaving any post for me."

Narrator: "But Bart's chance had come."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "There's been a change of plans."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor's driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Mayor Adam West needs us at the big station. Bart, you are to take RS Mr. Conductor's load to the village."

Narrator: "Bart was delighted, but RS Mr. Conductor was sad."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I won't be able to say Happy Christmas to all my friends."

Bart: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "Said Bart kindly."

Bart: "I'll do it for you."

RS Mr. Conductor: "It's not the same."

Narrator: "Sighed RS Mr. Conductor.

Bart was making good time on his way to the village when suddenly,"

Bart's Driver: "What's that?"

Narrator: "Called his driver. There ahead was a fogman by the path. He was holding a red light."

Fogman: "The village is cut off by snow."

Narrator: "He shouted."

Fogman: "We need shovels, workmen and a helicopter. Leave your goombas in the siding, and go back quickly."

Narrator: "Bart was soon hurrying to Budgie's airfield."

Bart: "Wake up, lazywings! The mountain villagers need your help. They're stranded."

Budgie: "Whizzo!"

Narrator: "Replied Budgie."

Budgie: "I like an emergency to keep me warm."

Narrator: "And he buzzed away."

Bart: "Now."

Narrator: "Sighed Bart."

Bart: "What's next?"

Narrator: "Suddenly, there was RS Mr. Conductor with Sccoby Doo and the works trailer."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Come on, Bart."

Narrator: "Whistled RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Follow me."

Narrator: "The two TV characters battled their way through the snow.

At last, they reached the village. Budgie was already there busily dropping food for people and animals.

Scooby Doo quickly got to work."

Scooby Doo: "Lovely stuff!"

Narrator: "He said, as he pushed the snow aside."

Villagers: "Well done, Bart! Well done, Mr. Conductor!"

Narrator: "Cheered the villagers."

Villagers: "You're the best Santa Claus this village has ever had!"

Bart: "What's a Santa Claus?"

Narrator: "Asked Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Santa Claus is someone who drops presents down chimneys at Christmas time."

Narrator: "Bart looked at his head."

Bart: "I wonder if,"

RS Mr. Conductor: "No!"

Narrator: "Laughed RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Chimneys, Bart, not heads! Which reminds me, your post is still back at the siding, isn't it?"

Narrator: "Bart hurried back to fetch it.

Just then, Grandpa Dave arrived with Lanolin."

Grandpa Dave: "We've brought lots of hot drinks and food for the villagers."

Narrator: "He whistled.

That night, all the TV characters went back to the house, except Grandpa Dave. The villagers had made a plan to thank the TV characters. They gave Lanolin paint pots and parcels, then they set off through the moonlit countryside.

All the TV characters were fast asleep in the house as Grandpa Dave ran silently into the yard. He had no idea what the villagers were going to do, but he knew it was going to be a big surprise.

When the TV characters woke the next morning, they could not believe their eyes. The house had been repainted and decorated. Parcels lay everywhere. The TV characters cheered in delight, and everyone agreed that it was a really happy Christmas."

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