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Cast

  • Floyd Pepper (from The Muppets) as Hiram
  • Zoot (from The Muppets) as Burt
  • Sheldon J. Plankton (from SpongeBob SquarePants) as Oscar the Grouch
  • Leo Callisto (from Miles from Tomorrowland) as Luis
  • Leon (from The Puzzle Place) as Chris
  • Sportacus (from LazyTown) as Alan
  • Rick the Hamster (from Kirby) as Hamster
  • Brother Bear (from The Berenstain Bears) as Baby Bear
  • Peg (from Peg + Cat) as Zoe
  • Princess Jasmine (from Aladdin) as Leela
  • Mike (from Mike the Knight) as Green Anything Muppet boy
  • Summer Hugglemonster (from Henry Hugglemonster) as Pink AM Monster Girl

Lyrics

Sheldon J. Plankton: Not a song. No! No!

Floyd Pepper: Ha. Dirt's got food for plants to eat that you don't need to bake or broil.

Zoot: Yeah, dirt's that full of nutrients can also be called soil.

Floyd Pepper and Zoot: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Zoot: It's where you grow your plants.

Floyd Pepper and Zoot: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Floyd Pepper: Hey, you got some on your pants.

Sheldon J. Plankton: Can you stop singing about dirt?

Zoot: Sure.

Floyd Pepper and Zoot: Because now we're gonna rap about dirt.

Zoot: (beat boxing)

Floyd Pepper: It could be real mushy.
It could be real firm.


Zoot: (beat boxing) Yeah, take them to your home for a gerbil or a worm.

Floyd Pepper and Zoot: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Zoot: It makes a real nice house.

Floyd Pepper and Zoot: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Floyd Pepper: Hey, you got some on your blouse. Huh.

Sheldon J. Plankton: Not a key change! (groaning)

Floyd Pepper: You can find things in dirt if you dig a nice dirt hole.

Zoot: And here's a great dirt fact. Dirt's "tierra" in Espanol.

Floyd Pepper and Zoot: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Zoot: Stick your fingers in and mush.

Floyd Pepper and Zoot: Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Floyd Pepper: Hey, you got some on your tush.

Floyd Pepper and Zoot: Dirt.

Sheldon J. Plankton: That's it! Dirtballs is out of business!

Zoot: Oh, no. Well, what are we going to do now?

Floyd Pepper: (singing) Musical theater.

Floyd Pepper and Zoot: (singing) Give my regards to Broadway.
Remember me to Herald Square.

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