• Fanboy as Stan Marsh
  • Kyle Bloodworth-Thomason as Kyle Broflovski
  • Sigmund The Sorcerer as Eric Cartman
  • Chum Chum as Kenny McCormick
  • Yo as Wendy Testaburger
  • Lupe as Bebe Stevens
  • Duke as Clyde Dovoman
  • Mr. Hank Mufflin as Mr. Garrison


  • Mr. Hank Mufflin: Okay Children, let's start the day with a few math problems. What is five times two?, Come on children, don't be shy. Just give it your best shot. Yes, Duke?
  • Duke: Twelve, man?
  • Mr. Hank Mufflin: Okay. Now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete stupid. Anyone?, Come on, don't be shy.
  • Kyle Bloodworth-Thomason: I think I know the answer, Mr. Mufflin.
  • Sigmund The Sorcerer [Mocking Kyle]: I zink I know ze answer, Mr. Mufflin.
  • Kyle Bloodworth-Thomason: Shut up, Showoff!
  • Sigmund The Sorcerer: Hey!, Don't call me showoff, you Elfing Constipator!
  • Mr. Hank Mufflin: Sigmund!, Did you say the F-word???
  • Sigmund The Sorcerer: Constipator?
  • Kyle Bloodworth-Thomason: No, he is talking about elf. You can't say that in school, you Elfing Showboat.
  • Mr. Hank Mufflin: Kyle!
  • Sigmund The Sorcerer: Vhy ze elf not?
  • Mr. Hank Mufflin: Sigmund!
  • Fanboy: Dude, you just said elf again!
  • Mr. Hank Mufflin: Purple Kid!
  • Chum Chum: Elf.
  • Mr. Hank Mufflin: Talking Racoon!
  • Sigmund The Sorcerer: Vhat's ze big deal?, It doesn't hurt anybody. Elf, elfity, elf, elf, elf.
  • Mr. Hank Mufflin: How would you like to go see the school counselor?!
  • Sigmund The Sorcerer: How vould you like to cut right to ze schnitzel?
  • [The Class Gasp]
  • Mr. Hank Mufflin: What did you say?!
  • Sigmund The Sorcerer: Oh, I'm very sorry. Actually, Vhat I said vas. [Sigmund picks up a Megaphone, turns it on, and speaks] "How vould you like to cut right to ze schnitzel, Mr. Mufflin?!"
  • Fanboy: Oh man, Dude.

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