- Pa Gorg as Sam the Eagle
- Flange and Wingnut Doozer as Wayne and Wanda
(Main stage. Pa Gorg stands on the proscenium.)
Pa Gorg: As all of us right-thinking people know, Flange and Wingnut Doozer are the only truly uplifting act on this whole questionable program. So, with a sense of … awesome pride, I present the singing team of Flange and Wingnut Doozer with "Goody Goody." (runs off) Oh, goody goody.
(The curtain opens on them.)
Flange Doozer: So you met someone who set you back on your heels … (knocks her over) Goody Goody!
(She scowls at him as the curtain closes.)