• Gobo Fraggle as Kermit the Frog
  • Boober Fraggle as Fozzie Bear
  • Wembley Fraggle as Gonzo
  • The Odd Old Man as Pops
  • Convincing John as Dr. Teeth
  • Feenie Fraggle as Floyd Pepper
  • Lanford as Animal
  • Mokey Fraggle as Janice
  • Murray the Minstrel as Lips
  • Cantus the Minstrel as Zoot
  • Large Marvin Fraggle as Beauregard
  • The World's Oldest Fraggle as Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
  • Henchy Fraggle as Beaker
  • Rumple Fraggle as Lew Zealand
  • Uncle Traveling Matt as The Swedish Chef
  • Sprocket as Rowlf the Dog
  • Morris Fraggle as Scooter
  • Wrench Doozer as Rizzo the Rat
  • Pa Gorg as Sam the Eagle
  • Brool the Minstrel as Lubbock Lou
  • The Wizard as Gramps
  • Storyteller Fraggle as Lou
  • Balsam the Minstrel as Zeke
  • Felix the Fearless as Slim Wilson
  • Gillis Fraggle as Bubba
  • Marlon Fraggle as Crazy Harry
  • Tosh Fraggle as Annie Sue
  • Baby Tree Creature as Gaffer
  • Architect Doozer, Flange Doozer and Rudy Vallee Doozer as Rats
  • Fragglettes as Chickens
  • Archbanger Fraggle as Louis Kazagger
  • Herkimer Fraggle as The Newsman


Gobo Fraggle: Oh, look. The Happiness Hotel. What do you think, guys?
Boober Fraggle: Ah. If that's the Happiness Hotel, I hate to see what the sad one looks like.
Gobo Fraggle: Excuse me.
The Odd Old Man: What?
Gobo Fraggle: We like a room.
The Odd Old Man: Really?
Gobo Fraggle: Yeah, we like to check in.
The Odd Old Man: Somebody's checking in.
Everyone: Somebody's checking in?

The Odd Old Man: Oh, there's no fire in the fireplace
There's no carpet on the floor
Don't try to order dinner
There's no kitchen anymore
But if the road's been kinda bumpy
And you need to rest a spell

Everyone: Well, welcome home
To Happiness Hotel

The Odd Old Man: Hey, how are you guys fixing to pay?
Gobo Fraggle: What are our choices?
The Odd Old Man: A: credit card. B: cash. C: sneak out in the middle of the night.
Boober Fraggle: We'll take C.
The Odd Old Man: Very popular choice.

Morris Fraggle: If you've got luggage keep it handy
But you're running out of luck
'Cause the bellhops ain't too organized
And the elevator's stuck

Wrench Doozer: Still if you don't mind friendly animals
And you can learn to stand the smell

Everyone: Well, welcome home
To Happiness Hotel

Gobo Fraggle: You know, I may be mistaken, but the bellhops look like Doozers.
Sprocket: You should see the chambermaids.

Everyone: Welcome home
(Welcome home)
Oh, welcome home
(Welcome home)
No matter where you wander
You will never do as well

Feenie Fraggle: Okay, the lobby's looking shabby
And it's got the wrong address

Convincing John: And the whole dang thing has been
condemned by American Express

Mokey Fraggle: Still the management is cheerful
Though the whole joint's gone to hell

Lanford: Well, welcome home to Happiness Hotel

Gobo Fraggle: You guys live here?
Feenie Fraggle: Yeah, but only between gigs.
So that means we've been here this time five years.

Mokey Fraggle: Yeah, but, you know,
our agent, he says...
things are really gonna break
as soon as we get our new glossies.

Lanford: Ah ah ah ah!
Gobo Fraggle: What's wrong with the drummer? He looks a little crazed.
Cantus the Minstrel: He's upset about missing the Rembrandt exhibit at the National Gallery.
Lanford: Rembrandt!

Sprocket: Oh there are bugs (there are bugs)
And there are lice (there are lice)

Morris Fraggle: Sure we have our little problems
But you'll never beat the price

Boober Fraggle: You've got every kind of critter
Wembley Fraggle: You've got every kind of pest
The Odd Old Man: But we treat them all as equals
Just like any other guest

Everyone: Though you're cleaner than the others
Still as far as we can tell
You'll fit right in to Happiness Hotel
Gobo Fraggle and Boober Fraggle: We'll fit right in
Everyone: to Happiness Hotel

Wembley Fraggle: Say cheese! (laughing)

Pa Gorg: You are all weirdos! Yuck!

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