- Gobo Fraggle as Kermit the Frog
- Sidebottom as Marvin Suggs
- Inkspots as Muppaphones
(Main stage. Gobo enters to a fanfare and applause.)
Gobo Fraggle: Right now, friends, I am proud to present a group of performers that I personally discovered in the waiting room of a bus station in Toledo, Ohio. They weren't performing there, they were just waiting. But anyhow, let's bring 'em on with a big hand, Sidebottom and his Inkspots! Yaaay!
Sidebottom: Ole, ole, ole, ole, ole, ole! Thank you, thank you and gracias! Thank you! I am-ah the beloved-ah Sidebottom-ah! And now, presenting-ah, the performing members of-ah, the Inkspots!
(The Inkspots take their positions.)
Inkspots: (random) Move it, move it. Yeah, yeah. Another day, another headache. Mimimimimi …
Sidebottom: Attention! (they all fall silent) … Ahem. Tuning up.
(With his mallet, he whacks them, playing a scale of "OW"s. The "so" is off-key, so Sidebottom shifts it to the far left.)
Sidebottom: Oh, no. Move it, Sidebottom. Move it. move it, Sidebottom. Move it. Move it. Attention! (they all fall silent) … Ahem. Tuning up.
(In the second attempt, the "ti" is too high, so he switches them.)
Sidebottom: Move it, Lucy. Move it. Move it, move it, move it, move it. Attention! (they all fall silent) … Ahem. Tuning up.
(In the third attempt, he plays a perfect scale of "OW"s.)
Sidebottom: Yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes. Sidebottom, you've done it!
Inkspot: (whispering to another) Do you need a vacation? …
Inkspot: (gets whacked) OWWWWW!
Sidebottom: And now, "Lady of Spain."
Sidebottom: The song.
(Music swells up. He plays each note with his mallet, until a giant mallet knocks him out. The Inkspots conclude the song with one final harmonic note, and jump for joy.)