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Cast

  • Gobo Fraggle as Kermit the Frog
  • Flutebird as Trumpeter
  • Philo as Statler
  • Gunge as Waldorf
  • Marlon Fraggle as Crazy Harry
  • Convincing John as Dr. Teeth
  • Feenie Fraggle as Floyd Pepper
  • Mokey Fraggle as Janice
  • Cantus the Minstrel as Zoot
  • Lanford as Animal

Lyrics

(Main stage. Gobo enters to applause.)

Gobo Fraggle: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello, everybody, and welcome to The Fraggle Show. Hey, we got a great show for you tonight, and our special guest is one of the funniest people in the business, Sidebottom. But right now, we'd like to open the show tonight on a high note —

(A Flutebird blows a trumpet in his ear. Meanwhile in the balcony …)

Philo: Well, that's better than opening it with a bang.

(Enter Marlon Fraggle, with a detonator.)

Marlon Fraggle: (laughing) Did somebody say "bang"?

Gunge: No!

(WHAP! Gunge karate-chops him.)

Marlon Fraggle: Aw, you can't win 'em all.

(WHAP! Gunge karate-chops him again.)

Gobo Fraggle: Will you hold it down up there, please? Right now let's get things started with Convincing John and the Electric Mayhem.

(Dissolve to the band; zoom out on Convincing John's teeth.)

Convincing John: Yeah, this is Convincing John, and it's time to boogie! Three, four!

(The band starts playing. During the song, several explosions happen on-stage.)

Convincing John: I'm gonna explode an atom bomb … (BOOM!)
And blow a hole in your soul.
I'm gonna explode an atom bomb, (BOOM!)
And blow a hole in your soul.
I'm gonna get through to you, baby,
Before I lose control!

(Solo.)

I'll break down your resistance with every trick in sight.
I know I'm gonna make you happy, baby —
I'm gonna light some dynamite!
… and blow open your heart. (BOOM!)
I'm gonna light some dynamite — (BOOM!)
And blow open your heart.
I'm gonna light some dynamite,
And blast a tunnel to your love!!
(BOOM!)


(The smoke from the last explosion makes them cough.)

Feenie Fraggle: That's heavy, man.

Lanford: I like that.

Philo: Well, that was a great number. I've always liked pantomime.

Gunge: That wasn't pantomime. Your hearing aid's busted again.

Philo: What?

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