• Gobo Fraggle as Kermit the Frog
  • Convincing John as Dr. Teeth
  • Philo as Statler
  • Gunge as Waldorf
  • Marjory the Trash Heap as Hilda


(Main stage. Gobo enters to applause.)

Gobo Fraggle: Thank you, thank you, thank you! All right! Here we are once again with another great show for you, with our special guest star, Mr. Sir Blunderbrain. And all of this — all of this is coming to you, by the way, from the Benny Vandergast Memorial Theater. Uh, we on The Fraggle Show owe everything to Benny. Including three months back rent. So in lieu of the rent, here's the fantastic Convincing John with "Money." Yeahhhh!

(Convincing John plays "Money" for the opening number. As the song reaches its climax, Convincing John pulls a lever on the side of his piano, and it acts as a lotto machine, pouring out bills and coins.)

Convincing John: Don't want no loving, don't want no kissing
Don't want no girl to call me honey
Don't want my name in the hall of fame
Just want a big fat pile of money
Give me that almighty dollar
For that lettuce, hear me holler
Give me buckets full of ducats
Let me walk around and wallow
In mazuma, el dinero
Wanna be a millionaire-oh
Give me money, money, money, money, money
I want that green ammunition
That's the stuff for which I'm wishing
Fill my closets with deposits
I'm a demon in addition
Give me shekels, give me pesos, let me see their smiling face-ohs
Money, money, money, money, money
Wanna get me a suit that's made out of loot
And whistle "The Wearing of the Green"
I've got that monetary-itis,
like to be just like King Midas
Want that golden touch is what I mean
Give me that old double eagle
Want that tender that is legal
And financially substantial
Any sum I can inveigle
Wanna live in regal splendor with that loving legal tender
Money, money, money, money, money
I'm a greenback collector,
I'm a paper-bill inspector
I'm a savage for that cabbage
Man, to me it's golden nectar
Pour that filthy lucre on me
Spread those loving germs upon me
Money, money, money, money, money
And if they ever plant trees of e pluribus unum
I wanna be the guy that they send out to prune 'em
Oh, give me money, money, Whoo, money, money, money

Philo: They don't write the old songs anymore.

Gunge: Nope. They only write new ones.

Philo: Yeah. Wha?

(Marjory the Trash Heap follows Convincing John past Gobo, carrying the prop money.)

Marjory the Trash Heap: Oh, Convincing John, you are one hip dude.

Gobo Fraggle: Nice number, nice number. Don't lose any of that money though.

Marjory the Trash Heap: Oh, I won't. I won't.

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