- Pa Gorg as Sam the Eagle
- Flange Doozer as Wayne
- Wingnut Doozer as Wanda
- Philo as Statler
- Gunge as Waldorf
(Main stage. Pa Gorg gives a speech.)
Pa Gorg: To ensure that the quality and moral content of this show is above reproach, I, Sam the American eagle, am proud to present the singing duet of Flange and Wingnut Doozer. (music swells up) Besides being tremendous singers, they are church people.
(Dissolve to Flange and Wingnut Doozer on a Southern hillside.)
Flange Doozer: Don't know why,
There's no sun up in the sky.
Stormy weather …
(BOOM! It thunders and rains on them.)
Gunge: I told you they were all wet. (Philo chuckles)