• Rudy Vallee Doozer as Joel Grey
  • Convincing John as Dr. Teeth
  • Poison Cackler as Gloat
  • Skenfrith as Droop
  • Flange and Wingut Doozer as Wayne and Wanda
  • Mokey Fraggle as Janice
  • Cantus the Minstrel as Zoot
  • Uncle Gobo as Jerry Nelson Muppet
  • Wembley Fraggle as Gonzo
  • Storyteller Fraggle as Mildred Huxtetter
  • The Old Gypsy Lady as Muppet Woman
  • Sprocket as Muppy
  • Fluffinella as Catgut
  • Mudwell the Mudbunny as Baskerville the Hound
  • Fragglettes as Pigs
  • Gobo Fraggle as Kermit the Frog
  • Philo as Statler
  • Gunge as Waldorf


(Main stage. Gobo enters in a tuxedo.)

Gobo Fraggle: Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pride and pleasure that yours truly, Gobo Fraggle, introduces the international star of stage and screen, Rudy Vallee Doozer.

(The curtain opens on a nightclub with various Fraggle Rock characters at tables.)

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Thank you, Kermit. I can't tell you what a pleasure it is for me to be here appearing in the Fraggle cabaret. Never have I entertained in such a place before. So unusual. So bizarre. The most incredible nightclub by far.

(He sings his signature song, "Willkommen", joined by the other Fraggle Rock characters.)

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome Fremde

Convincing John: Etranger

Poison Cackler: Stranger

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Glucklich zu sehen

The Old Gypsy Lady: Je suis enchantee

Flange and Wingut Doozer: Happy to see you.

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Bliebe, reste, stay Willkommen

Mokey Fraggle and Cantus the Minstrel: Bienvenue

Wembley Fraggle and Storyteller Fraggle: Welcome.

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Im cabaret

Everyone: Au cabaret
To cabaret

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Meine Damen und Herren.

Convincing John: Mesdames et Messieurs.

Poison Cackler: Ladies and gentlemen.

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Guten Abend.

Convincing John: Bonsoir.

Poison Cackler: Good evening.

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Wie gehts?

Mokey Fraggle: Comment ca va?

Cantus the Minstrel: Do you feel good?

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Ich bin euer Conferencier.

Mokey Fraggle: Je suis votre compere.

Gobo Fraggle: I am your host.

Rudy Vallee Doozer: I am your guest.

Gobo Fraggle: Gotcha.

Everyone: Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome.

Rudy Vallee Doozer: (singing) Im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret.
(spoken) Here life is beautiful. The customers are beautiful. Even the orchestra is beautiful. Have you ever seen such a beautiful orchestra? Well, maybe in a zoo. Even the dancers are beautiful, If your standards aren't too high.

Everyone: Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome Im cabaret, au cabaret
(softly) Wir sagen Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome Fremde, etranger

Wembley Fraggle: Stranger!

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Glucklich zu sehen.

Everyone: Je suis enchante

Rudy Vallee Doozer: Happy to see you

Everyone: Bliebe, reste, stay
Wir sagen
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome
Im cabaret
Au cabaret
To cabaret

Gunge: Ehh, another star in the tradition of the late, great Boris Klinger.

Philo: Boris Klinger?! (Gunge nods) Why, you old fool, Boris Klinger was the worst music-hall act to ever step onto the stage!

Gunge: In your opinion, maybe, but more than 2,000 people attended his final performance.

Philo: Yes, yes. Half of them brought the tar and the rest brought the feathers. Heh!

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