Created by the user named GJO_Eccentric on the PWB.

1: Wake up

2: Really wake up

3: Okay, now wake up

4: Khali, you're fired

5: MVP, you're the new World Heavyweight Champion

6: Edge, you're the new co-owner of the World Heavyweight Championship

7: Stephanie, if you want to stay in this business, you have to have sex with me

8: Have sex with Stephanie

9: MVP and Edge turn on each other

10: MVP and Edge have an epic battle

11: Wow, that bump went badly...

12: Visit MVP in the hospital

13: Oh and by the way, Cena you're fired

14: Orton, you're the new WWE champion

15: No wait, make that Trips.

16: No, Orton.

17: Trips, definatly trips.

18: Y'know what? Jericho, get your ass back here

19: Appoint Jericho new WWE champion

20: ****, MVP died...

21: Go to MVPs funeral

22: Stephanie, if you want to stay in this business, you have to have sex with me

23: Have sex with Stephanie

24: Wait, I need a new US champ now. Well, ****

25: How about Matt Hardy?

26: Geez, all I said was I have an idea and he runs off to TNA

27: Call Brother Hardy von Matthews

28: Leave a message to Brother Hardy von Matthews

29: What do you mean, Mastes failed the drug test?!

30: Steroids? Orton?! Nah, get the **** out.

31: .... well I'll be damned, steroids and Orton....

32: Release Eugene for being on steroids so I can keep Orton

33: Release Cryme Tyme... just for the hell of it

34: Cade, your fired

35: Murdoch, your fired

36: Hmmm... yeah, and Striker too.

37: Fire the whole writing staff

38: Hire TNAs writing staff

39: Fire the whole writing staff

40: Be my own writer

41: Stephanie, if you want to stay in this business, you have to have sex with me

42: Huh... it worked the last two times

43: Fire Stephanie

44: Fire Triple H

45: Wait, keep Triple H

46: Call Hulk Hogan

47: Have Trips job to Hogan

48: SWERVE! Trips pins Hogan cleanly

49: Fire Hogan

50: Ah damn, forgot about the IC title...

51: Oh, still need a US champion...

52: This is harder than I thought it'd be...

53: Okay, Jeff, you go to Smackdown! and be the new US champion

54: Shelton, you're the new IC champion


56: Goddamnit, Hass, you're the new IC champion

57: Whaddya mean Jeff is injured?!

58: ooOOHHhh.... "injured". I got ya.

59: Send Jeff to the "injury" clinic

60: Wait, now Khali is injured?!

61: Wait, didn't I fire him?

62: No, I don't want to send him a get well soon card! I fired him!

63: Stephanie is suing me? ****!

64: I quit....

65: Sell WWE to TNA.

66: Hmm... TNA offered me 300 dollars

67: Is that a lot of money?

68: Ask JBL if that's a lot of money

69: JBL offered me 400 dollars

70: Wait a minute, that's a ripoff!

71: Fire JBL

72: Fire TNA

73: My lawyers told me I can't fire TNA. Why the **** not?

74: Fire my lawyers

75: Oh, time for RAW again. Jericho needs to defend the title.

76: Rematch with Cena!

77: Right.... I fired Cena....

78: Cena, you're rehired.

79: Title rematch! Cena/Jericho!

80: PSYCH! Hahaha Cena, you're fired.

81: What the ****? How do you mix up "Lawyer" with "Lawler?"

82: Well now I need a new commentator...

83: Tazz, go to RAW

84: In fact, Punk should go to RAW too

85: Except he's fired.

86: As of now.

87: Fire CM Punk

88: Hell, move the whole ECW roster to RAW

89: Oh! And move the whole RAW roster to Smackdown!

90: Fire Mark Henry

91: And while I'm at it, the whole Smackdown! roster should go to ECW!

92: And now that ECW isn't around any- ****!

93: Okay, here's an idea! Morrison, you're the new US champion

94: Morrison is the new US champion

95: Now....

96: Fire Morrison

97: Wait.... hang on, I was going somewhere with that...

98: Oh, right. RAW.

99: Jericho defends against..... Triple H!

100: Triple H tears his quad

101: Buy Triple H a new quad

102: Find out you can't buy quads

103: Stephanie, if you want to- right, restraining order.

104: Candice, if you want to keep your job, you have to have sex with me

105: Have sex with Mickie

106: Read the newspaper

107: Go back to school and learn how to read

108: Flunk school

109: Drop out of school

110: Read the newspaper

111: Jeff Hardy broke out of rehab? How do you break out of rehab? It isn't ****ing prison!

112: I need asprin...

113: Got a call back from Brother Hadrson von Matthews.

114: Call back Brother Hardson von Matthews

115: Why the hell is RVD answering the phone?

116: Who the hell is RVD?

117: Go to google

118: Google "RVD"

119: "Did you mean 'DVR'?"

120: No, I did not ****ing mean DVR!

121: Oh, right. He's still on the phone

122: Well ****, now's he's hung up on me.

123: Fire google.

124: Buy google.

125: Fire google.

126: Hire RVD, just for the hell of it.

127: What do you mean I don't have enough money?

128: We're the WW ****ing E! We have like, billions!

129: Huh? Well, I mean, who doesn't enjoy the daily hooker?

130: Wait a second.... I don't enjoy the daily hooker....


132: Fire my accountant

133: Suspend Ric Flair

134: Fire Big Daddy V

135: Go to court

136: Counter-sue Stephanie to get back some money

137: ???

138: Profit!

139: Ah, time for ECW...

140: We need a new ECW champion...

141: Well, I fired Morrison... fired CM Punk..... what to do....

142: I know!

143: Fire Tommy Dreamer

144: Now that that's out of my system

145: Give the ECW title to Elijah Burke

146: Have sex with Kelly

147: Have sex with the other Kelly

148: Find out that there's only one Kelly, but she named herself twice

149: Kinda like I "named" her twice

150: DAMN!

151: Fire Ron Simmons for writing on my to do list.

152: Book the Boogeyman vs. Hulk Hogan

153: Book the Miz vs. Hulk Hogan

154: Book Funaki vs. Hulk Hogan

155: Job Hulk Hogan to the Boogeyman

156: Job Hulk Hogan to the Miz

157: Job Hulk Hogan to Funaki

158: WHERE'S YOUR EGO NOW, *****?!

159: Compose myself

160: Win lawsuit, pleading insanity

161: Fire the judge

162: Find out the judge is a hot 26 year old former playboy bunny

163: Have sex with Britney Spears

164: Wow, I must have been hammered.

165: Get another call from Brother Hardson von Matthews

166: Answer the phone

167: Talk on the phone

168: Yell into the phone

169: Scream into the phone

170: Calm down a little

171: Find out what the stinging pain in my leg is


173: Call the police

174: Grab the phonebook

175: Look up the number for 9-1-1

176: Get mobbed by people for using an old overused joke

177: Uh yeah, police?

178: This guy broke out of rehab and now he's stabbed me in the leg with a pencil wrapped in a condom...


180: Just send over an ambulance!

181: I don't know, lead poisening?!

182: Well, yes, I suppose the condom would stop the lead from getting in my system...

183: But condoms don't always work

184: Just ask Stephanie

185: ?!

186: I GOT HUNG UP ON BY 9-1-1!

187: Fire 9-1-1

188: Answer the door

189: Find note nailed onto door

190: Read note nailed onto door

191: "I a..a-ahm way-ching yuh-ooh-ohh."

192: Either this guy can't spell, or I can't read.

193: Which I can't.

194: Bring note to Cole

195: Ask Cole to read the note to me.

196: Deny Cole's offer to carry my babies.

197: Cole says the note says "I am watching you."

198: Oh, okay.

199: Fire Cole.

200: Hmmm... lookin' a little low on commentators now...

201: Smackdown! has no commentators at all...

202: Where the hell did they go?

203: I didn't fire them!

204: Fire whoever reminded me that I fired them without my permission.

205: Write new storyline

206: Come up with storyline title

207: Batista's Title Shot

208: Take 23

209: "I want a rematch"

210: Hmmm... no, need something more original...

211: "I want you to give me a rematch."

212: Much better!

213: is someone watching me?

214: Look over shoulder

215: Look over other shoulder

216: Shrug, back to writing

217: Now, Batista will walk to the ring

218: And ask for a rematch

219: Again

220: Repeat parts 218 and 219

221: Repeat parts 218 and 219

222: Repeat parts 218 and 219

223: Repeat parts 218 and 219

224: Repeat parts 218 and 219 and 220 and 221 and 222 and 223

225: Okay, I swear to ****ing God that bush just moved

226: No, it is not the wind

227: Oh.... it was the wind

228: Find Edge

229: Ask Edge to say "Shut up Cole!"


231: Alright, I've booked six months worth of Smackdown! main events...

232: Still need a US title fix

233: Forgot about the cruiserweights

234: Well, everyone forgets about the cruiserweights

235: Hmmm... I must think! ...what would Vince do? (God rest his soul may he rest in peace)

236: That's it!

237: Give massive push to Orton

238: Oh, right. Working on the cruiserweights here.

239: Hmm... well, Jimmy Wang Yang is entertaining AND a good worker!

240: Give the cruiserweight title to Jimmy Wang Yang

241: Put my good ol' Wang in a title match with Moore

242: Rephrase the above sentence

243: Make that a Tables match!

244: Except with chairs too!

245: And... and ladders!

246: No, even better! Laddles!

247: The first ever Laddles, Tables and Chairs match!

248: No, no Orton! Don't poop in the laddle!

249: Damnit Orton! You ruined my big main event!

250: Give Orton a massive push

251: Hear weird noise

252: What is this weird noise I hear?

253: Open cloest door, slowly, to add suspense to an otherwise boring situation...

254: Watch Hass come out of the closet

255: Look inside the closet.....

256: Inside the closet is...

257: Nothing!

258: Then what was all that noise I heard?

259: And what's all this sticky white- nevermind... I don't wanna know.

260: Hear knock on door

261: Answer door

262: Greet Funaki

263: Try to understand just what the **** he's saying

264: As far as I make out, he says Burning Eagle bring running pain into house of fighting...

265: What the **** man, YOU'RE ASIAN, NOT INDIAN!

266: Change Funaki's gimmick to that of a Wise Indian

267: Fire Funaki

268: Run downstairs and ask someone normal to tell me what's going on

269: Have sex with Melina

270: Ask Melina what's going on

271: Yes, I know what sex is! WE JUST HAD IT!

272: I mean, what the hell was Funaki talking about?

273: No, Funaki is not my nickname for my junk! I mean the chinese guy who acts Indian!

274: Goddamnit, nevermind!

275: Fire Melina

276: Ask Batista what's going on

277: Rematch? What the **** for?

278: Well no **** basketball's don't hold grudges, what the hell are you even talking about?

279: Dude, screw you.

280: Send Batista to OVW and job him out to Paul Burchill

281: Ask HBK what's going on

282: What's that? Jimmy fell down the old well?!

283: Did he have the title on him?

284: He didn't? Oh thank God...

285: Fire Jimmy Wang Yang

286: Woulda cost a thousand bucks to replace that thing...

287: But human life is more expendable!


289: Get off the pot, man!

290: What? Now you're saying he has a bomb strapped to him?

291: And he's throwing Condoms at people?

292: ....see if you can get me a couple of those condoms...

293: Quick, everyone, hide under Triple H's nose! It'll be our bomb shelter!

294: Hass! I said Triple H! And I said nose!

295: I'll call 9-1-1!

296: Try to remember the number for 9-1-1

297: Look in recent calls on my cell phone

298: Call 9-1-1




302: Fire Jamie Noble

303: Stupid 9-1-1. I am never calling their 800 number again!

304: Try to find Jeff Hardy and take him down.

305: Start by looking inside Mickie James ass.... >.>

306: Quiet ma'am! This is a matter of national security!

307: Search for Jeff Hardy inside the bathroom

308: Find Jeff Hardy inside the Women's bathroom

309: Have sex with Layla

310: Jeff, put. the gun. down.

311: Jeff, JEFF! That is not a pipe! Get that gun out of your mouth!

312: Dude, don't pull the trigger!

313: Oh my lord, he pulled the trigger...

314: Wellllllllllll **** that, now Jeff is dead...

315: Take Jeff's gun

316: Loot Jeff's corpse

317: Burn Jeff's body

318: Take pictures of his burning body

319: Post pictures on his website for all the horny fangirls to see

320: Send Brother Hardson von Matthews a message about his brother's tragic demise

321: Receive message from Matthews thanking me for complimenting his mothers fantastic eyes

322: Bang head against the wall a few times.

323: Fire Brother Hardson von Matthews by disguising myself as the TNA owner

324: Rehire Matt Hardy

325: Tell Matt Hardy his brother commited suicide while on pot

326: Comfort a crying Matt Hardy

327: Fire Matt Hardy

328: Throw his bawling ass on the curb

329: Get everyone out from under Triple H's nose

330: Get Hass out of Triple H's underwear drawer

331: Push Hass down a cliff

332: oh no! He jumped off the cliff!

333: oh goody! there's a rescue crew down there to save him!

334: oh no! the rescue crew's saftey trampoline isnt unfolding!

335: oh goody! those nice kitties broke his fall to save him!

336: oh no! those are mountain lions!

337: oh goody! they're licking his face!

338: oh no! they're EATING his face!

339: oh goody! he's fighting them off with a spike of rock!

340: oh no! he's using the rock to stab himself in the head!

341: oh goody! he missed his head!

342: oh no! he hit his neck!

343: oh goody! the spike is corking the blood so it doesnt come out!

344: oh no! he fell down again and is heading for those spikes!

345: oh goody! he missed the spikes!

346: oh no! he's falling toward the even bigger spikes!

347: oh goody! that eagle caught him before he hit them!

348: oh no! that's a pterodactyle!

349: oh goody! it brought him to the rescue crew!

350: oh no! vemon arrived and is going to eat him!

351: oh goody! he isnt eating him after all!

352: oh no! he's going to attack him with his tentacle!

353: oh goody! he's-

354: ...

355: Well...... nevermind then...

356: Plan Charlie Hass' funeral

357: Hire team to get what's left of Hass' body. Which, as far as I can tell, are an arm, a small portion of his torso and one massive erection...

358: I mean, I know the tentacle went upwards from a reverse area, but DAMNIT HASS! THAT'S ****ING DISGUSTING!

359: Fire Jeff Hardy..... what? He's technically still on the payroll!

360: Eat lunch

361: Alright, let's start booking the next RAW!

362: Fire Beth Phoenix

363: Jericho has cancer?!

364: And Edge has AIDS?!

365: How the hell did Edge get AIDS?!


367: Have sex with Lita

368: Well damnit, now I have AIDS....

369: Well anyways, now I need another new WWE champion...

370: Ugh, I hate that stupid spinner belt.... why the **** do we still have it?

371: Well, I don't want it, and what I say goes!



374: Have sex with Victoria

375: Devise a plan to rid of the WWE spinner belt

376: Disguise myself as a panda

377: Sneak into the World Wildlife Foundation

378: Take vial of Poisen out of pocket

379: Fire Mr. Kennedy

380: Leak poisen into the water supply

381: Sneak out

382: Stop by McDonalds for some great choices on their dollar menu! Double Cheeseburgers, French Fries, and a nice Medium Soda to wash it all down! McDonalds! I'm Lovin' It!

383: Watch the news

384: See a report about the WWF on the news

385: Kennedy!

386: Watch as my poisen kills all the pandas

387: Watch the WWF go out of business

388: Announce that it is with "A heavy heart" that I switch my company name back to the World Wrestling Federation

389: And now that there isn't a WWE, that means no more WWE spinner belt!


391: Find out I have an illegitamate son

392: Well no ****ing ****, I've slept with half the roster!

393: No, I didn't use protection! Condoms are for morons who want children...

394: Well, actually no, I never did take Sex-ed. How'd you know that?

395: Oh, just a guess, huh?


397: Hire The Rock

398: Give The Rock the brand shiney new WWF Title belt

399: Y'know, teh intarwebz must love me now

400: I fired John Cena, I fired Khali, I posted pictures of Jeff Hardy'z burning body on his website for all the fat emo chicks to see, I slept with Stephanie. Twice.

401: They must think I'm God

402: Log onto the PWB



405: What do you MEAN "Bring Cena back!" You ****ers hated him!

406: You MISS the Great Khali?!?

407: Oh, goddamnit guys!

408: Call Stephanie

409: Get her voicemail

410: Tell her how much I miss her

411: And how much I need her

412: And... and how I can't stop thinking about her

413: About her... AND her HUGE boobies!!


415: Fire Altell

416: Book Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay for the Intercontinental Champion

417: Shelton botched and got on the wrong flight?!

418: And now he's stuck out on a Jet Blue flight?!

419: Okay then, put Finlay in the match!

420: Of course he can fight himself!

421: Oh fine, just give him the damn title...

422: Need filler.....

423: Bring back Mr. Kennedy

424: Have him cut an hour long promo

425: Start RAW

426: Get a 7.9 rating

427: Wow, this job is SO easy! All I do is have sex with people and make **** up, and get PAID for it!

428: Book a date with Michelle McCool

429: Show up at date with Michelle McCool

430: What? Michelle McKwan? How do you mix up McCool and McKwan?!

431: That's not even her name!

432: Fire assistant

433: Fire Booker T

434: Fire Mark Henry

435: Torrie, if you want to keep your job, then you have to give me one.

436: ORTON! We have toilets here for a REASON!

437: Give Orton a massive push

438: Kennedy!

439: Book Edge vs. Triple H for the World Heavy Title in a Hell in a Cell match

440: Prepare sick bum ending

441: ...Wow, that arm popped straight off, didn't it?

442: Oh, that's not pretty...

443: Oh no! Edge is hanging from the top of the cell, caught by his thong!

444: That has GOT to HURT!

445: Send Triple H to the hospital

446: Send Edge to the hospital

447: Send RVD to rehab

448: Check email

449: Oh, look! Email from Jeff Hardy! I wonder what he's up to? Swell guy, that Jeff.

450: Return Jeff's email

451: Lick Mickie

452: What? Orton trashed his hotel room?

453: Okay Orton, you pushed your luck for the last time!

454: Give WWF Title to Orton

455: There, I think you've finally learned your lesson now, haven't you?

456: Hire Christian Cage

457: Give Christian Cage the World Heavyweight Title

458: Have Christian Cage fued with MVP for the World Heavyweight Title

459: What do you mean he's dead? Still?

460: Geez, he's sure taking his time down there...


462: Freak out

463: Call a psychic

464: Can't find one, so get the next best thing

465: Hire Ariel

466: Ariel, if you want to keep your job, you have to have sex with me

467: Have sex with Ariel

468: Fire Ariel

469: Oh, wait...

470: Hire Ariel

471: Ask Ariel to contact Jeff...... from beyond the grave......

472: And possibly MVP, so I can get him back in the ring for his title match

473: Okay, I lied, I'm sorry. Just do it, will you?

474: No, I don't have a 100$ deposit

475: Hey, Tomko, spot me a hundred bucks.

476: Whaddya mean, "No."?!

477: Dude, do you even work for me?!

478: No? Well, do you want to?

479: Okay

480: Hire Tomko

481: Fire Tomko

482: Yeah, cause that's how I roll, *****.

483: Hey, Batista, spot me a hundred bucks.

484: No, dude, I SWEAR I'll pay ya back.

485: Duuuuuude! I'm cool for it, you know that?

486: I got millions after I banged Stephanie and counter-sued her!

487: What? No!

488: Ugh, okay, fine.... I agree; basketballs do not hold grudges.... geez...

489: Pay Ariel the hundred dollars.

490: Fire Umaga

491: Jeff is alive?! Dude, he SHOT HIMSELF

492: And I BURNT his CORPSE

493: Then I pee'd on his grave and farted in his general direction!

494: Reincarnated? As who?

495: You aren't allowed to tell me, but.............

496: It's one of the superstars standing around the ring right now...


498: Dude..... storyline of the year.... cha-CHING!

499: Start marketing new "I'm Jeff Hardy, reincarnated!" T-Shirts

500: Start going around and asking wrestling if they're Jeff Hardy

501: Maybe it's KHALI?!

502: Oh, right.... he's fired.

503: And in the hospital

504: For the last time, no, I do NOT want to send him flowers!

505: Visit RVD in rehab

506: Find out RVD lit a joint which burnt down rehab

507: Put out a warant for the arrest of RVD


509: Loot Sabu's corpse

510: Loot Mercury's corpse

511: Loot CM Punk's corpse

512: Slap Finlay

513: Pick Batista's pocket

514: ........ I don't think that was a pocket v.v

515: Go to therapy

516: Well therapist that an evil reincarnated spirit is in the body of one of my workers

517: Oh! And that I may or may not have groped another mans junk

518: Get prescription for tranqualizers

519: ddDDUUUUuuddDDddeeee..... my hands..... there so.... so.... handy.....


521: I want a brownie...

522: A pink brownie....

523: Oh! OH! I want a pinky!



526: Wake up the next morning in antlantic city with cactus and a barbie doll

527: Send CM Punk back to rehab for abusing tranqualizers...... >.>

528: Go into lockerroom, looking for the body of which Jeff reincarnated into

529: Talk to Kane

530: Chesnuts roasting on a....? Dude, it's September. Christmas is months from now

531: ****ing moron....

532: Talk to Jamie Noble

533: "WWE has come to terms on the release of Jamie Noble. We wish him the best of luck in all future endevours."

534: Rey Rey, if you want to keep your job, you have to have sex with m-...... a cow....


536: Suspend Rey Mysterio

537: Put out internet reports saying John Cena will lose the WWE title to Randy Orton

538: Sit back and laaaaaauuuuuggghhhhhh

539: Smoke a joint, and continue to ***** about my workers being on drugs

540: Interview Matt Hardy, to see if Jeff Hardy is in his body

541: CAT ORGY!

542: Get call from CM Punk in Rehab

543: What do you mean, "You spent all your contract on marijuana"?!?

544: Dude, you are without a doubt the worst straight-edge guy I have EVER met!

545: No, you can't have a raise! I'm in deep enough **** as it is!

546: Hold meeting to discuss our funding issues

547: Okay, I know a lot of you are getting pissy cause you haven't been paid

548: So, in order to keep paying the better, cooler, popular superstars, I need to fire the rest of you ****ers

549: So when you here your name called, please kindly get the fudge out of my WWE'z, m'kay?

550: Jesse, your fired

551: Snitsky, your fired

552: Melina's fired

553: Shannon Moore, get out

554: Victoria

555: Torrie

556: Hornswaggle

557: Duece? Yeah, you too

558: And you might as well hit the bricks too Domino

559: Candice, have sex with me

560: Have sex with Candice

561: Okay, I know I asked you all to be here for a meeting, but watching is just plain rude!

562: And Triple H? Give me the camera...

563: Alright, that's all for the firings people. Thanks for coming, see you next week!

564: Except for Balls, Thorn, and Elijah

565: Cause you ****ers are fired

566: Who wants pizza?

567: Nunzio, go make us some pizza.

568: Duh, cause you're Italian?

569: All Italians can make pizza. It's in your blood.

570: Damnit Nunzio, I've fired people for less than this! Make the Goddamn pizza, or lose your job!

571: Fire Nunzio

572: Damn it! Now I have to pay for the pizza... as if we didn't have enough financial issues

573: Call Dominos

574: Yes, I'd like to order four large cheese pizzas please...

575: No? What do you- DAMNIT TOMKO! What the HELL are you doing at DOMINOS?!

576: Dude, you've hit rock bottom... how could things get any worse for you?

577: Sleep with Tomko's wife

578: Yeah, maybe next time you'll give me my ****ing pizza!

579: Oh God, she's pregnant....

580: It's not mine!

581: It was a one night thing!

582: She's a hoe! She just wants my money!

583: I wasn't in town that weekend!

584: No, I won't go on Maury!

585: Wait.... Maury....... maybe he could do DNA tests to find out who my reincarnated killer is!

586: Fly out to New York with everyone

587: Cancel show in Arkansas

588: Book Maury vs. Triple H in a Steel Cage Match at Unforgiven

589: Triple H kills Maury

590: Weeellllllll ****, so much for that idea...

591: God, the media is going to freak out on me...

592: And Triple H is a big star! I can't lose him to prison!

593: Just don't bend over, I suppose....

594: Wait.... that's IT!

595: Suspend 10 random superstars for failing the WWF wellness policy

596: Plant steroids in Batista's locker

597: Put a bomb in the vice presidents soup

598: There, that oughtta be enough news to keep people from noticing Maury is dead!

599: Triple H ran over the President?!

600: Oh, God DAMNIT Triple H! Why are you still around?!

601: Oh, you sleep with the boss' daughter?

602: I got a secret for you. come'ere

603: Closer...

604: A little closer....


606: Even I slept with her, but I don't get out of trouble for free

607: YOU ran over the President, YOU deal with it on your own.

608: And take your nose with you!

609: .....did I just fire Triple H?

610: Fire Triple H

611: Well I'll be damned, I fired Triple H

612: Breaking News: TNA has just signed The Artillary Himself, Three HxH

613: What, is TNA's office in the dumpster alley out back?! He JUST left for Christ's sake!

614: Scratch my ass

615: Look over this months financial statement

616: Scratch my ass

617: is losing business? Why the hell would it lose business?!

618: Because I keep firing people?

619: And without those people, we don't have merchandise?

620: Scratch my ass

621: Dude, that's ****ing stupid! We are not losing fans! They love us!

622: Why wouldn't they love us? We told them to!

623: Oh, you don't know what you're talking about. We just.... just.... need to change the site layout!

624: Scratch my ass

625: Make it pink! That'll attract a lot of attention!

626: Oh, and- and put a bunch of half naked divas holding up the items!

627: That'll make the hormonious 14 year old teenagers mistake it for pr0n

628: And then - PROFIT!

629: Scratch my ass

630: What? Just make better products and lower prices?

631: Pffft, **** that, you're fired.

632: Moron...

633: Augh, what is up with my ass today?!?

634: Fire ________

635: Make a doctors appointment

636: Ask Sophie how the company is doing

637: Sophie, Betty, whatever the **** your name is

638: Your name is Sophie now

639: No, Belinda

640: No, Gert!

641: Definatly Gert!

642: Scratch my ass

643: Why? Because Gert is sexy, that's why!

644: Sounds like a foreign word for a female sex organ........

645: ............ wanna have sex?

646: Just thought I'd ask

647: Sratch my ass

648: Wait, what do you mean we don't have enough people on the roster?

649: Ha! Shows what you know! They weren't laid off, I fired them!

650: Stupid *****

651: Fine, then we'll end the brand split!

652: End brand split

653: Shut up Gert, it's a great idea. Everyone hates the brand split. Teh intarwebz told me so

654: And when is the internet EVER wrong?

655: Scratch my ass

656: It was the internet that told me to tell the nice penguin my credit card number, and it's only been profitable!

657: They just said my thousands of dollars got lost in the mail...

658 UGH! I'm going to the doctor now. **** an appointment....

659: Yes! My ass itches like crazy! I don't get what's so hard about this!

660: No, I would not like a second opinion! One doctor hovering around my butt is bad enough!

661: What?

662: Ass cancer?!?

663: I have ass cancer?!

664: What is ass cancer?!

665: I swear you're making that up... I probably just forgot to wipe or something....

666: zOmG SaTAn!!!!!!!!!!1111111oneone111oneeleventyone

667: Oh, ass cancer is gotten when having butt sex with someone who has STDs. I see....

668: WHOA!

669: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!

670: Whoa

671: Whoa whoa whoa!

672: Whoa

673: ..............whoa

674: .........................................................whoa

675: Whoa, dude, I do not swing that way!

676: I like boobies!

677: No, I am not in denial! I swear to God, my ass has never been dude rammed!

678: Rape? What? I don't understand.............wait....


680: Fire Charlie Hass

681: What's that doctor?

682: WHAT?!


684: Eat dinner

685: Oh no, only two weeks to live?

686: But this company will suffer if I die!

687: Looks like I'll need to find my successor...

688: Oh, right.... still looking for Jeff...

689: Has it been three months?

690: Damn....

691: So I need to find out who Jeff reincarnated in....

692: Who will run the company when I die....

693: Who I'm going to fire next.....

694: And deny being the father of Tomko's wife's baby

695: All in just two weeks....

696: Well hell, considering all this has happened in like, 7 hours, I'll be just fine!

697: Fire Beth Phoenix

698: One down!

699: Now, time to be shifty and stealthy....


701: Are you Jeff?!!

702: Are you sure?!!

703: Are ya LYING?!!

704: You're stories full of holes man! I'll break you!!


706: No, no bad Edge! Don't hump the carpet!

707: ...well, that doesn't mean you can go hump Vickie instead!

708: You're both fired!!

709: Except for Edge

710: Cause I play favorites

711: Just like Vinnie Mac did (God rest his soul may he rest in peace)

712: Hey, Jericho! Just the man I wanted to see!

713: You mind if I cut your chest open? I need to see if there's an extra soul floating around in there....

714: No, dude, I swear I know how to do this...

715: Of course I'm a liscensed doctor guy, why would I lie to you?

716: Jeff's soul!!!!

717: Stab Jeff Hardy'z soul

718: .....Oh..... that was his heart......

719: Oh...... oh ****

720: Ummm.....

721: Kick Jericho's body underneath the carpet

722: Walk away slowly and casually....

723: Kill any witnesses

724: Suspend Mr. Kennedy!

725: ...................................Kennedy!

726: ............'s microphone

727: Yeah, you laugh, but that mic makes more money than Hogan and Jericho combined!

728: God rest their souls may they rest in peace

729: Oh, you didn't know Hogan was dead?

730: He was teaching his son how to drive, aparently...

731: Tragic...

732: I want Stephanie back... I miss her....

733: Book a Tag Team Title match on Smackdown!

734: What do you mean I don't have a full roster?

735: Look, I only fired them because they were ********!

736: Oh, what do you know? We'll just have Batista go out and-

737: DAMN IT!

738: We'll just have Cena do a special Smackdown! appearance and-

739: DAMN IT!!

740: What if we brought back Jericho...

747: AUGH!!!

748: Ratings are dropping...

749: But my team of yesman told me the fans love us!

750: I give everyone what they want, but our ratings still go down...

751: Well, it's not like I'm losing money... Vince traded me the WWE for my soul

752: Sucker.... I sold my soul to the devil years ago!

753: Who ever would have guessed that Dennis Kucinich was the devil?

754: Pfft, he's got my vote.

755: So... what can I do to raise the ratings....

756: Hmm...

757: Dude!

758: Celebrity champion!

759: Call K-Fed

760: Yo, Fed, get your nose out of Britney's ass. We've got work to do!

761: Come on! Everyone loves white boy rapper wannabes! Look at Eminem!

762: He's ****ing rich! You'll do great!

763: Oh my God..... you killed Lashley!


765: Well YEAH!! Didja just think people survive random sledgehammer attacks in real life?!

766: God damnit, you are SO fired!

767: Fire Kevin Federline

768: Damn damn damn damn damn! Lashley was the closest thing to a main eventer I had left!

769: Wait, did I fire Nitro?

770: Oh right, he's Morrison now...

771: What? You're saying now he's Johnny Hendrix?

772: Dude, fire him!

773: I already did? Then my work here is done....

774: Y'know, I was thinking...

775: They say gay people have a sort of "gaydar"

776: So I thought... theoretically then, dead people must have a "deadar"!

777: ZOMG I WON THE LOTTERY!!!!!11111oneeleven6pie

778: So if I find a dead guy, he can lead me to Jeff's reincarnated body!

779: And then........ profit!

780: Prepare to sell the Jeff Hardy merchandise

781: So.... who's dead?

782: ...................

783: Y6J

784: Y5J

785: Y4J

786: Y3J

787: Y2J

788: Break the walls down!

789: ZOMG! It's Chris Jericho! *marks out*

790: Right, I killed him! He can help me!

791: Oh ****.... how do I ask him if he's dead?

792: .....

793: I got it!

794: Gay guys get boners for other guys, right?

795: So theoretically; dead guys get boners for other dead people!

796: Kelly! Kelly! Kelly Kelly!

797: Have you seen Jericho's dick?



800: Fire Kelly Kelly

801: Stephanie! She'll know where it is! She's seen everyone's!

802: But she's still mad at me....

803: How can I make her not mad at me?

804: Hmm..... What would Jesus do?

805: I got it!

806: Meet with Stephanie McMahon

807: Stephanie! You see right here a a glass of ordinary water!

808: Now, now turn around.

809: Go, just turn around.

810: Okay, now turn back.

811: Look! I have turned it into wine!

812: Get sued.

813: Hmmm... so Jericho's dick is in his pants, eh?

814: Wait... I knew that!

815: Ugh, you are SO not any help!

816: Have sex with Stephanie

817: Didn't I push Jericho's body underneath the carpet?

818: Wow, considering it happened only an hour ago, you'd think I'd have remember that sooner, eh?

819: Find Jericho's dead body

820: Hmm... this is too much to carry..... I got it!

821: Cut off Jericho's penis.

822: Now I just have to carry it around and point it at people till to grows a little! Then that person must be Jeff Hardy!

823: Wow, this is so smart!

824: .... and a little gay...

825: Ste-Steph, Steph! Get that out of your mouth! It is not a toy!

826: Ugh... filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal bottom feeding trash bag hoe...

827: Go into the lockerroom

828: Okay everyone, I'm holding Jericho's dick and- STOP LAUGHING!

829: This is serious! One of you guys is harboring Jeff Hardy'z reincarnated soul, and I'm gonna find out who!

830: Charlie, stop pulling it! It'll grow too soon!

831: I thought you ****ing died!

832: No? Well in that case you're fired.

833: Rene, get over here now.

834: Let's see...

835: Well, right boner, wrong dick... next!

836: Saxon? Shouldn't you be on gameFAQs?

837: Well, you're clear... next!

838: Gasp! So, it was Rey Mysterio all along!

839: You think you know me...

840: *guitar riff*

841: Wait, hold up everyone! Edge is cashing it in! He's cashing it in! He's cashing it the **** in!

842: Take Edge's MitB briefcase

843: Watch Edge spear Mysterio

844: Here is your winner, and new vessel of Jeff Hardy'z soul; EDGE!

845: Watch Edge hump the mat

846: Gasp! So, it was Edge all along!

847: Well, congratulations on your victory Edge, but now I- Edge, stop humping my leg!

848: But now I'm afraid I have to kill you

849: Kill Edge

850: Watch Edge hump the floor...

851: Watch the humps slow down...

852: Watch Edge do one final hump, then never hump again. Permanatly.

853: Watch Edge's body rise up.

854: So, Jeff Hardy. We meet again...

855: What? You're not Jeff Hardy? Then... who....

856: Oh... My.... God!

857: You.... you're....

858: Perry Saturn!

859: No? Ummm... then... who?

860: Who? o.O

861: Chris.... Benwho?

862: Ben-oit?

863: B-Benpit?

864: ooOOHHhh, Benwah!

865: ...who the hell is Chris Benoit?

866: In the triple threat match for the title at WM XX? Pfft, you're lying you liar.

867: It's common fact that that match was between Triple H and HBK.

868: Though.... though for the life of me, I can't remember who won it...

869: Hmmm........

870: So, "Chris Benoit", if that even is your true name, what do you want from me?

871: You look like you'd make a good wrestler... maybe a technician? Want a job?

872: You're dead? What the **** man, then how are you......

873: Oh...

874: My...

875: God...

876: AM I DEAD?!?

877: No?! Jesus' ****, don't scare me like that!!!

878: Then you're obviously lying. Why should I believe you?

879: Cause you're 4REAL? PFFFFFT.

880: Why must you keep lying? You are in NO WAY 4REAL.

881: I've seen a lot of 4REAL people in my day, but you sir are NOT 4REAL.

882: ....but then again, those tights are pretty REAL..... maybe... at least... 3REAL...

883: Okay, so you're dead. What do you want?

884: What? My company is dying?

885: My workers are getting fired?

886: It's all being run into the ground?!

887: Whatever shall I do?!?

888: There's only one hope left that can save the WWE? Who man, WHO?!!

889: J-J-John.... Cena...?




893: Try to catch breath

894: Heh....hehe....hehehaha....hahahahahaha....ahhhhhhhhhh......

895: Okay, I'll go rehire Cena.

896: What, there's more?

897: He'll need to learn... more moves? Him? Cena? John Cena?




901: Try to catch breath

902: Heh....hehe....hehehaha....hahahahahaha....ahhhhhhhhhh......

903: Okay, now that is ****ing impossible. Haven't you seen the little pokemon thing?

904: Cena just can't learn more than four moves!

905: Are you ****ing stupid?

906: Seek out the wise one? Who the **** is that?

907: Wait, no! Don't go! I have one last question!

908: Do you know where Jeff is? It's killing me inside....

909: The answer will come in time? A lot of ****ing good THAT is Mr. Dead Guy!

910: God I hate guiding spirits.... all so full of themselves....

911: Hey, he left his tights behind... hey, Benpit, or whatever the hell your name was!

912: You forgot your tights! Hey, hey! Oh Goddamnit....what am I supposed to do with these?

913: >.>

914: <.<

915: Put on Chris Benoits tights.

916: Huh........ kinda comfy....

917: Hmm... well, if I were a suck ass WWE superstar who got fired in disgrace, where would I go?

918: Hmmm....

919: Go to the TNA World Headquarters, Tire Change and Hair Care Center

920: Angle! Angle! Is John Cena here?

921: It's true? It's damn true?? Tell me man, where is he?! The fate of the WWE rest on it!!

922: What? Oh yes, nice olympic gold medal, but where's Cena?!

923: R- Of course it's bloody real! It's damn real! You're ****ing wearing it right now!


925: **** YOU!!

926: Jeff! Jeff Jarret! Where's Cena?

927: You're pissed off?

928: You're about to be pissed on if I don't find John Cena and a bathroom within the next five seconds!!

929: Use the bathroom

930: Have sex with Christy Hemme

931: Christian! Chumpstain! Tell me where Cena is right now!

932: He's at the deli?

933: GASP!

934: He must be having a ham sammich!!

935: Curses, where is the deli?!

936: Down the hall next to the Hair Care Hall? Thanks!

937: Oh, hey, want a job?

938: Tsk, it was worth a shot.

939: Go into the deli

940: Cena! Get over here! You're re-hired!

941: ... Yes, I can see you. You're hiding behind the plate.

942: Damnit Cena, stop being such a child and get in the car! We have a company to save!

943: Run back to the parking lot

944: Get in Cena!

945: .... Ugh, yes I can still see you! That's a bush! Hurry the **** up!

946: We have to find the wrestling sage to teach you more than five moves....

947: STOP LAUGHING CENA! This is serious!

948: Now, according to this sheet of paper that Benoit didn't give me that I pulled out of my ass at just this moment, he lives right around the corner.

949: Ain't that convenient?

950: Oh ****, I think we just ran over CM Punk.

951: It's okay, he's smokin' a joint. He probably can't feel a thing.

952: Okay this is it, where's the damn sage?

953: Go inside the sage's house.

954: HULK HOGAN?!?

955: Oh, you better be ****ing kidding me, wait wait wait;

956: Cena needs a bigger moveset and to learn how to job and be more entertaining in the ring

957: So, to teach him how to learn more moves, how to job, and stop being hated, we're having him taught by Hulk Hogan...

958: Am I the only one who sees the irony in this??!!!

959: Okay Hogan, let's get this straight right now:

960: I don't like you, and you don't like me

961:, you don't.

962: don't.


964: Ugh, egotistical son of a....

965: Sniff the air

966: Do.... do I smell... pie?

967: I swear to God I smell-


968: OMFG, The Rock is here too?!

969: You're Hulk Hogan's roomate? Dude, you could do SO much better

970: Why not bunk with-

  • glass shatters*

971: Oh Jesus Christ, you too?!

972: Shouldn't you be in heaven with your dad? Oh, hi Austin.

973: So, Cena is going to be trained by Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Jesus Christ and Stone Cold Steve Austin?

974: Wait, there's one more? Who could it-

The best there is...

The best there was...

And the best there ever will be!

975: Bret Hart?!!

976: Huh? ....... DAMNIT HBK! We're not in ****ing Montreal!

977: Yes, I know, "You screwed Bret" we ALL- 978: Last night? No, it was in nineteen ninety...... oh....

979: ......ooOOHHhh.......

980: Wait approx. 18.9 seconds for akward pause and silence before speaking again

981: So Cena needs to learn 5 new moves to replace his old 5MoD...

982: Hulk is going to teach him the Atomic Leg Drop...

983: The Rock is going to teach him the People's Elbow and the Sharpshooter...

984: Stone Cold is going to teach him the Stunner....

985: And HBK is going to teach him the Heart Break Elbow Drop?

986: Wait, so why is Jesus here?

987: Oh, and nice haircut Jesus...

988: Wait.... one.... second....

989: Look at Jesus

990: Look at wall

991: Look at Jesus

992: Look at wall

993: Look at Jesus' hair

994: Go to and look at Jeff Hardy'z hair

995: Look at Jesus' hair

996: Look at Jeff'z hair

997: Ponder for a moment

998: Oh my God! Jesus Christ!

999: You're Jeff Hardy!

999: Chase Jesus Hardy down the street

999: Dodge traffic

999: Fire Shane O' Mac

999: Damnit, stop running! I want to...err..... show ya something!

999: Ugh, Jesus Christoph, he can run fast.....

999: Hmmm.... I need a trap...

999: But what can trap Jesus, short of selling my soul?

999: Ponder...

999: Have sex with the hole of a manhole cover

999: I got it! If Jesus is Jeff Hardy reincarnated, then.....

999: Some time pases...

999: Bait a box held up by a stick with a rope tied to it with marijuana inside

999: Giv'm a couple a dem botches too. He's had dem botch b'fo...

999: Wait....

999: Wait....

999: Wait for it....

999: Wait for it....

999: Wait for it....

999: Hmmm... need to pass the time...

999: Fire Kevin Thorn

999: Hire Jeff Jarret

999: Hire his seldom seen african-asian american half brother, Matt Jarret

999: Call them Team Relatively Interesting Generic Spot Monkey's... no, Monkey'z. With a Z.

999: Ah, there's Jesus Hardy!

999: Wait for Jesus Hardy to take the bait

999: is he turning the pot into wine?!!

999: Oh, thanks a lot, that pot only cost me a ****ing fortune in police bribery...

999: Oh, great, now he's giving the wine to all the people on the street from one bottle

999: SHOW OFF!

999: armbar

999: Wait.... wait, who are those people grabbing him?

999: What, tie him- no, you can't do that! It's ****ing Jesus! He'll kill you!

999: Don't kidnap Jesus, you assclowns!!!

999: Say the word "No" drawn out in a slower tone than normal

999: Only one group would dare to kidnap Jesus....

999: Crab People!

999: I'll have to assemble the greatest team possible to save him!

999: Huh? Rock?

999: You say Cena is having trouble learning to do the Rock Bottom?


999: Slap the taste out of Cena's mouth

999: Just do it mother ****er!!

999: Go back to the WWE HQ

999: Shannon! I'm glad you're still here! You're rehired!

999: The Crab People are back, and this time...

999: Do a dramatic pause

999: ...they've kidnapped Jesus Hardy!

999: Yup, that's right; IT'S MOORE-PHIN TIME!

999: Give my apologies to the guy I borrowed that from

999: Come Moore, we need Moore people if we wish to save Jesus...

999: Find the Undertaker

999: Taker! It's your lucky day!

999: Yes it is!

999: I don't have time to come up with a witty, charismatic way to make your death sound poetic and justiceful, so I'm just going to stab you

999: Stab the Undertaker to death

999: Sacrifice Undertaker's body to bring MVP back to life

999: MVP! We need your help. Hear that?

999: Start a "Power Ranger" chant

999: That's right; we need your suit! No time to explain!

999: Whistle

999: Stand there aimlessly

999: Poke the wall

999: Let's go! We need one more person!

999: Find Rey Rey

999: Rey Rey! Put on your shiniest, most herioc looking mask!

999: We're off to save Jesus!

999: Now we have Moore's Moore-phin powers, MVP's Power Ranger Suit, Rey Mysterio's Masks,

999: And Benoit's tights on our side! We shall prevail!

999: We are the WWE 4! We are....... 4REAL!!!!!

999: .........or.....maybe....something less.....corny...

999: Huh.... who would have guessed the Crab People HQ was in Paris Hilton's explecitive area?

999: Though Lord knows it's big enough....

999: Cause she's a slut.

999: No, actually cause she's a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal bottom feeding trash bag hoe!

999: Hey, no, Rey, stop that!

999: That is not a toy!

999: You'll wake her up too, dummy!

999: Now be quiet! We have to find Jesus, in the non-spiritual born again kinda way.

999: In the literal sense

999: As in a person who happens to be named Jesus, but isn't in the termonology of Christ and savior and is in no way meant to be taken as me pushing my religion.

999: There, that oughtta please the Ahtiests....

999: Get Sweet Chin Music'd by HBK

999: Ow...

999: Fire Paul London

999: :D

999: Well........ since I'm here......

999: Have sex with Paris Hilton

999: I feel so dirty....

999: . . . did it just get darker in here?

999: Oh my God, someone is blocking the exit!

999: Dude, she's sleeping! That can't be legal!

999: . . . Err, yes MVP. They're blocking it with a "rock"

999: A very special kind of rock.

999: When we get out of here, me and you'll have a special talk. I've got a picture book we can go through together.

999: Gasp

999: Look!

999: A condom!

999: And a pencil pointing in that general direction!

999: We must be getting closer...

999: Y'know guys, I was rereading this topic the other day

999: Looking for something I could do again and 3 Week Rule it...


999: And I realized how sacriligious this topic is....

999: And I'm ****ing Christian....

999: Yyyuuuuuuuupp. I'ma goin' to hell fer sure.

999: I really wish I didn't have to fill in these silences...

999: So I'm not going to talk until something happens.








999: Sneeze






999: Gesundheit.








999: Ah, there they are.

999: Okay, here's the plan:

999: Rey Rey, you go in there and fight all the tall, big guys. Overcome the odds.

999: MVP, you go and brag about yourself. Maybe they'll bore themselves to death.

999: Shannon Moore; Just go in there and look cool. Maybe punch a guy if he gets too close.

999: Me? I'll stay right here smokin' a joint and seeing hallucinations of Barney in a tutu. I'll most likely wake up in Boston with a barbie doll and crawl back to the WWE HQ, taking all the credit for the rescue.

999: Then I'll have sex with all the hot divas who think I'm a hero and want to keep their jobs. Meanwhile, I'll most likely fire all of you for no particular reason whatsoever, and burn all of your underwear.

999: Sound like a plan?

999: Geez, where'd I put that blun...

999: What? Oh Jesus Christ...

999: If you're here, then what happened to Jeff?

999: He bit the dust?!! Was there no food around??

1000: Oh, he died....

999: **** that, he was already dead!

999: Jesus, you lied to me!

999: Which means you really aren't Jesus after all!

999: Wow, I'm running out of paper.....

999: I'll have to go to Wall-Mart and buy some more... it's so damned cheap there!

999: Need.... filler......

1: Wake up

2: Really wake up

3: Okay, now wake up

4: Khali, you're fired

5: MVP, you're the new World Heavyweight Champion

6: Edge, you're the new co-owner of the World Heavyweight Championship

7: Stephanie, if you want to stay in this business, you have to have sex with me

8: Have sex with Stephanie

9: MVP and Edge turn on each other

10: MVP and Edge have an epic battle

11: Wow, that bump went badly...

12: Visit MVP in the hospital

13: Oh and by the way, Cena you're fired

14: Orton, you're the new WWE champion

15: No wait, make that Trips.

16: No, Orton.

17: Trips, definatly trips.

18: Y'know what? Jericho, get your ass back here

19: Appoint Jericho new WWE champion

20: ****, MVP died...

21: Go to MVPs funeral

22: Stephanie, if you want to stay in this business, you have to have sex with me

23: Have sex with Stephanie

24: Wait, I need a new US champ now. Well, ****

25: How about Matt Hardy?

26: Geez, all I said was I have an idea and he runs off to TNA

27: Call Brother Hardy von Matthews

28: Leave a message to Brother Hardy von Matthews

29: What do you mean, Mastes failed the drug test?!

30: Steroids? Orton?! Nah, get the **** out.

31: .... well I'll be damned, steroids and Orton....

32: Release Eugene for being on steroids so I can keep Orton

33: Release Cryme Tyme... just for the hell of it

34: Cade, your fired

35: Murdoch, your fired

36: Hmmm... yeah, and Striker too.

37: Fire the whole writing staff

38: Hire TNAs writing staff

39: Fire the whole writing staff

40: Be my own writer

41: Stephanie, if you want to stay in this business, you have to have sex with me

42: Huh... it worked the last two times

43: Fire Stephanie

44: Fire Triple H

45: Wait, keep Triple H

46: Call Hulk Hogan

47: Have Trips job to Hogan

48: SWERVE! Trips pins Hogan cleanly

49: Fire Hogan

50: Ah damn, forgot about the IC title...

51: Oh, still need a US champion...

52: This is harder than I thought it'd be...

53: Okay, Jeff, you go to Smackdown! and be the new US champion

54: Shelton, you're the new IC champion


56: Goddamnit, Hass, you're the new IC champion

57: Whaddya mean Jeff is injured?!

58: ooOOHHhh.... "injured". I got ya.

59: Send Jeff to the "injury" clinic

60: Wait, now Khali is injured?!

61: Wait, didn't I fire him?

62: No, I don't want to send him a get well soon card! I fired him!

63: Stephanie is suing me? ****!

64: I quit....

65: Sell WWE to TNA.

1001: Ah, there we go

1002: Can you believe this **** was only 35 cents? On sale too!

1003: And it came with a lawn mower, free of charge!

1004: armbar!

1005: Oh, right- LUCIFER!!

1006: Ugh, damnit damnit damnit! I knew Jeff wasn't religious!

1007: Damnit damnit damnit!

1008: Fire Nunzio

1009: Fire Orlando Jordon

1010: Fire Nunzio

1011: Fire Orlando Jordon

1012: Fire Nunzio

1013: Fire Orlando Jordon

1014: Fire Nunzio

1015: Fire Orlando Jordon


1017: Hunt down and destroy the PWB'er who wrote on my ****ing list!

1018: Listen mother ****ers, this is my list! MINE DAMNIT MINE!

1019: Mount a sign that says "Mine" on my list

1020: Weeeeelllllllll ****, now I got a giant hole in my list.

1021: I hope you're happy now! Weeks of work so totally ruined!


1023: Oh ****, I'm standing next to Satan. Forgot.

1024: What? Oh shut up Rey! You can fight without arms just as well with them!

1025: Hospital? **** that, that's like, two miles from here. I ain't walking that ****in' far.

1026: Put some ice on it!

1027: Why the hell would I know where to find ice in Paris Hilton's vagina? God....

1028: Whiney *****...

1029: Okay Satan, I really have to ask

1030: You're the epitome of all things evil in this world and the damnator of souls

1031: Where did you find the free time to take over Jeff Hardy'z dead soul and pose as Jesus?

1032: And more importantly..... why?

1033: You're.... trying to take over the world?

1034: By taking over the WWE, and using their powerful humans as your soldiers?

1035: I can't believe I'm going to say this, but...


1037: Look, Dennis, wrestling isn't real.

1038: We write the storylines, and book the endings.

1039: My wrestlers are trained proffessionals who give it there all

1040: And in their free time, sniff crack.

1041: Yeah, sorry to **** up your plans.

1042: Oh, and can I have my soul back? I kinda told my girlfriend it was all hers...

1043: Tsk, just thought I'd ask.

1044: What?

1044: WHOA!

1045: Oh, Satan did NOT just call me a man whore!

1046: Fire Satan

1047: **** this, I got a PPV to put on...

1048: Alright, time for Cyber Sunday!

1049: Sophie! Gimme some advice!

1050: I need to hire at least 30 more workers?

1051: Our small roster makes us look unproffessional?

1052: Pffffft, **** that, you're fired.

1053: Alright, WWF World Title match opponents

1054: Either HBK, Kennedy, or Mystery opponent

1055: Everyone is voting Kennedy and HBK?


1057: What do you mean, unethical? I was just talking to SATAN for Christ's sake!

1058: You're ****ing fired!

1059: Fine then...

1060: WWF has come to terms of the release of Ken Kennedy. We wish him all the best in future endevours.

1061: WWF has come to terms of the release of Shawn Michaels. We wish him all the best in future endevours.

1062: There, now they have to vote mystery opponent...

1063: Who is the very man stated in the save_us.222 promos!

1064: Boy, is the IWC going to be pissed off and disappointed...

1065: Alright, we need more stipulations!

1066: WHC title match! The title is vacant, since MVP died over 1022 things to do ago

1067: So you can choose either to give the title to Batista

1068: Have a six man battle royal for the title

1069: Or a triple threat Hell in a Cell for the title

1070: ...

1071: For Christ's sake, give it to Batista? Are you ****ers stupid?!!

1072: You're supposed to think what I tell you to think, damn it!

1073: I'm pissed, I gotta fire somebody....

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