- (Peter Griffin opens the door and realises to his shock that Quagmire is a Pokémon)
- Peter: Holy crap! Quagmire, what happened to you?! You're some sort of underwater animal!
- Quagmire (as a Quagsire): Quagsire! Giggity! Quagsire!
- Peter: Damn creatures. (turns to audience) Listen here, viewers. This thing is are so retarded that their language is hard to crack. Unless you have one of these handy babies.
- (Peter gets out a PokéDex and uses the 'Translator' app)
- Peter: (reading Quagmire's translation) "Help, Peter! Some stupid bitch has turned me into one of those ugly Pokémon! No wonder they're so sensitive! And my penis is so small I can no longer jack off! Please, Peter! Turn me back into regular ol' Quagmire!" (goes to the PokeDex stats)
- PokéDex: Quagsire, the Water Fish Pokémon. The Quagsire makes its home in clean freshwater lakes. The Quagsire is covered by a slippery layer of skin, making this Pokémon especially difficult to handle.
- Peter: Whatever it is, it sounds a lot like you. How's it goin', Quagsire ... I mean Quagmire ... OH, FORGET IT!!!
(End of preview)