Christopher Gross helped found the group with other members of the Big 5 at a lunch table in Hell. Known affectionately as Fatty Fat Fat, his love of all things unhealthy for him, including spicy foods, booze, The Hobbit's Weed, and Leah led him on a strict and straight path to the bowels of perdition.

The Early Years


Lorenzo Lard

In the earliest known records, Chris was known as The Belly, and he was everything and anything. Worshipped as a God, but mocked like the Devil, he found solace in the shifting sands of peace and chaos that inhabited this planet so far from his home at the center of the galaxy.

The Earth was not kind to Chris, though. The gravitational pull fought him at every turn, making it hard for him to move. So he began studying the arts of Shaq-Fu to work on his mobility.

Chris in Group Politics

Chris was outspoken and easily angered. Those who opposed him became devoured by his gaping donkeylips, and in doing so became one with the Multiverse. This was the greatest blessing that Chris was known to give. His greatest contributions to Group Policy included his strong stances against Jews, Frenchies, and Pepsi-Cola.

The Downfall of Chris

Chris' final form was that of The Box. During his final days in the group, his decline into madness and his constant and unbridled ambition to work on Things made him almost unreachable for many years. Oh yeah, and there was Leah as well.

Some Nicknames for Chris

  • The Fat Guy
  • Fatty Fat Fat
  • Minnesota Fats
  • Fatty McGee
  • Shitty
  • Shitstain
  • Trash Man
  • Grungy Beaver
  • Bullfrog
  • Fatass
  • Sack of Monkey Shit
  • X-Box
  • Cock-Box
  • X-Bitch
  • Kissy Fur
  • Beaver Man-Lover
  • Mr. Belvedere
  • Lorenzo Lard

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