Haunted Homer is the eleventh episode of the fifth season of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends, and the one hundred and fifteenth episode overall. It is a parody of the Thomas and Friends episode, Haunted Henry.
- Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
- Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry
- Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
- Grandpa Lou Pickles (from Rugrats) as Old Bailey
- Goombas (from Mario) as The Troublesome Trucks
- Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon (does not speak)
- RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas (cameo)
- Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James (cameo)
- Patty (from The Simpsons) as Annie (cameo)
- Selma (from The Simpsons) as Clarabel (cameo)
- Everyone else as Themselves
Narrator: "It was a moonlit night, and Homer was working with Edd. The big TV character was taking some goombas to the station by the lake."
Edd: "Whenever that owl hoots, a mist rolls in."
Narrator: "Murmured Edd."
Edd: "There's a legend that when the mist's about, there's a ghost about, too. Take care on the old line, Homer."
Homer: "Stupid bird!"
Narrator: "Said Homer."
Homer: "Owls, mist, ghosts, Edd's going soft in the head. There's no mist."
Narrator: "But Homer was wrong."
Homer: "What's that?"
Narrator: "Cried Homer."
Homer's Driver: "It's an amber lamp."
Narrator: "Murmured his driver."
Homer's Driver: "That means 'proceed with caution'.
Narrator: "No one replied.
Homer crept slowly forward. He stopped by a tree. It had a sign nailed to it. 'BEWARE OF THE VIADUCT'.
The driver was surprised."
Homer's Driver: "No one warned us about that before. And look! The light's red, and the gates are closed! A-a-a-and there's a fogman's coat! But where is its owner?"
Narrator: "Then, they saw a light move within the station building."
Narrator: "Exclaimed Homer."
Homer: "Edd was right!"
Homer's Driver: "Something very strange is happening."
Narrator: "Said his driver."
Homer's Driver: "I think it's best we go back."
Homer: "So do I!"
Narrator: "Agreed Homer.
By morning, the mist had cleared. An workman was talking about the unsafe viaduct."
Workman: "Lucky you didn't cross it last night."
Homer's Driver: "Yes, but we don't know who warned us!"
Narrator: "Replied Homer's driver.
Later that day, he spoke to Homer."
Homer's Driver: "The viaduct has been repaired. We can take our goombas back along the old line tonight."
Narrator: "Homer really didn't want to.
But when nightfall came, he was sizzling nicely. Suddenly, an owl hooted, and then Garfield thundered by."
A Goomba: "Oh, look, Homer's spooked."
Narrator: "Said a goomba, and the others giggled in their silly way."
Homer: "Be quiet!"
Narrator: "Snapped Homer."
Homer: "I'm not scared!"
Narrator: "But he was.
A little later, the fog came down.
As they approached the same area, they saw the amber light again."
Homer's Driver: "Here we go."
Narrator: "Said Homer's driver.
Then, unknown to Homer, the gates mysteriously closed by themselves, and the light went red. The monkeys had seen all, and they were spooked."
Goombas: "Faster! Faster! There's a ghost about!"
Homer: "Stop! Stop!"
Narrator: "Yelled Homer."
(Homer and the goombas crash though the gate)
"A mysterious figure watched Homer go by. Ahead was a landslide blocking the line. Homer stopped hard, but the goombas hit some of the rubble and plunged into the ravine."
"Just then, Homer's driver saw a strange sight coming towards them."
Homer's Driver: "What's that?"
Narrator: "He said, the fireman laughed."
Homer's Fireman: "That's our ghost. It's Lou Pickles, the fogman."
Narrator: "Lou Pickles was very cross."
Grandpa Lou Pickles: "I tried to warn you about the viaduct. Why didn't you pay attention?"
Homer's Driver: "We're sorry we ignored your warnings."
Narrator: "Replied the driver."
Homer's Driver: "Is there anything we can do to thank you.
Grandpa Lou Pickles: "I'd like to operate that old station. If you let me, I promise it won't spook Homer."
Narrator: "And in a little while, Lou Pickes' wish was granted."
Mayor Adam West: "You and your station will be really useful."
Narrator: "Said Mayor Adam West."
Mayor Adam West: "Let's hear a hearty 'thank you' to the friendliest, uh, ghost in TV Land."
Narrator: "Everyone cheered, Especially Homer, who was the happiest of all."