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Herbert & Joe, retitled Herbert Helps Out for American audiences, is the second episode of Peter Griffin the Man and Friends. It is a parody of the Thomas and Friends episode, Edward and Gordon/Edward Helps Out.
- Herbert as Edward
- Joe Swanson as Gordon
- Animators as Edward and Gordon's crews
- The Porter as Himself
- Peter Griffin as Thomas (Cameo Role)
- Brian Griffin as Henry (Cameo Role)
- Glenn Quagmire as James (Cameo Role)
Narrator: One day, Herbert was in the neighborhood where he lived with the other men. They were all bigger than Herbert and boasted about it.
Joe: The Animator won't choose you again.
Narrator: Said Joe.
Joe: He wants strong men like us.
Narrator: But the animator felt sorry for Herbert.
Herbert's Animator: Would you like to come out today?
Herbert: Oh, yes, please!
Narrator: Said Herbert. So he had his breakfast, gained losts of stamina, and Herbert walked away.
The other men were very cross at being left behind.
Herbert had a wonderful day. The cats were very kind and the animator was very pleased.
Herbert: I'm going out again tomorrow.
Narrator: Herbert told the other men that night.
Herbert: What do you think about that?
Narrator: But he didn't hear what they thought, for he was so tired and happy, that he fell asleep at once.
Next morning, Herbert woke up to find nothing had changed. Joe was still boasting.
Joe: You watch me, little Herbert, as I rush through with the police car. That will be a splendid sight for you.
Good-bye, little Herbert. Look out for me this afternoon.
Narrator: Herbert went off to do some pushing.
He liked pushing. It was fun playing with goombas. He would come up quietly and give them a push. Then he would stop and the silly goombas would go bump into each other.
Goomba #1: Oh!
Narrator: They cried.
Goomba #2: Whatever is happening?
Narrator: Herbert played until there were no more goombas. Then he stopped to rest.
Presently, he heard some grumbling.
Joe was very cross. Instead of the nice, shining police car, he was working with goombas.
Joe: Goombas, Goombas, Goombas!
Narrator: He grumbled.
Joe: The shame of it, the shame of it, oh, the shame of it!
Narrator: Herbert laughed, and went to find some more goombas.
Then there was trouble.
Porter: Joe can't get up the hill.
Narrator: The porter called to Herbert's animator.
Porter: Will you take Herbert and push him, please?
Narrator: They found Joe halfway up, and very cross. His animator was talking to him severely.
Joe's Animator: You're not trying!
Joe: I can't do it!
Narrator: Said Joe.
Joe: The noisy goombas hold an policeman back so.
Narrator: Herbert's Animator came up.
Herbert's Animator: We've come to push.
Joe: No use at all!
Narrator: Said Joe.
Herbert's Animator: You wait and see.
Narrator: Replied Herbert's Animator.
They brought the goombas back to the bottom of the hill.
Herbert: I'm ready!
Narrator: Said Herbert.
Joe: No good.
Narrator: Grumbled Joe. They pulled and pushed as hard as they could.
Joe: I can't do it! I can't do it! I can't do it!
Narrator: Puffed Joe.
Herbert: I will do it, I will do it, I will do it!
Narrator: Puffed Herbert. Herbert pushed and puffed, and puffed and pushed as hard as ever he could. And almost before he realized it, Joe found himself at the top of the hill.
Joe: I've done it, I've done it, I've done it!
Narrator: He said proudly. He forgot all about Herbert and didn't wait to say 'Thank you'.
Herbert was left out of breath and far behind. But he was happy because he had been so helpful. At the next station, he found that his animator was very pleased with him. The animator gave him a nice long drink, and said,
Animator: I'll get out my clothes tomorrow, and give you a nice new blue outfit. Then you'll be the smartest man in Quahog.
The Sad Story of Brian/Come Out, Brian
- Footage Copyright: 20th Century Fox