"I'am Alive and Buried" is the first episode of One Wheel in the Heap.


At the age of 50, Paige McCullough is retired from her job as a school security guard to be replaced by a box and a recorded message for Lurleena Lumpcoon's first day as her housekeeper. As she contemplates her future, Lurleena gets a visit from Nick Swainey's charity for the elderly and decides to go for a job interview.


Mrs Inglis: Twenty-six years sitting behind a reception desk, what must that do to a woman's brain?
Mrs Jellis: I shouldn't think it does a lot of good, myself.
Mrs Inglis: Mmm. I suppose it's a bit like one of those polar bears that just suddenly snap and ends up lumbering round its cage bellowing at everyone in a rather irrational manner.
Mrs Jellis: Huh. Either way it'll be a merciful release. God, early retirement at fifty; you'd jump at the chance.
Mrs Inglis: Anyone would.
Mrs Jellis: How did he take it when you told her?
Mrs Inglis: Oh, great, great. No problem. Well...
Mrs Jellis: You have told her?


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