- Cpl. Bauers as Kermit the Frog
- Rita as Miss Piggy
- Frito Pendejo as Rizzo the Rat
- President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho as Gonzo the Great
- Secretary of State as Fozzie Bear
- Dr. Lexus as Dr. Teeth
- Beef Supreme as Uncle Deadly
- Upgrayedd as Beauregard
- Brawndo CEO as Floyd Pepper
- Judge Hector BMW as Sam the Eagle
- Voice of the IPPA Computer as Jim Henson
- Secret Service Thug as Lips
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