• Cpl. Bauers as Elmo
  • Rita as Zoe
  • Frito Pendejo as Snuffy
  • President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho as Ernie
  • Secretary of State as Big Bird
  • Dr. Lexus as Telly Monster
  • Beef Supreme as Oscar the Grouch
  • Upgrayedd as Baby Bear
  • Brawndo CEO as Bert
  • Judge Hector BMW as Cookie Monster
  • Voice of the IPPA Computer as Gordon
  • Secret Service Thug as Sherlock Hemlock

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