- Cpl. Bauers as Elmo
- Rita as Zoe
- Frito Pendejo as Snuffy
- President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho as Ernie
- Secretary of State as Big Bird
- Dr. Lexus as Telly Monster
- Beef Supreme as Oscar the Grouch
- Upgrayedd as Baby Bear
- Brawndo CEO as Bert
- Judge Hector BMW as Cookie Monster
- Voice of the IPPA Computer as Gordon
- Secret Service Thug as Sherlock Hemlock
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