- Cpl. Bauers as Thomas
- Rita as Emily
- Frito Pendejo as Percy
- President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho as Edward
- Secretary of State as Murdoch
- Dr. Lexus as Henry
- Beef Supreme as Diesel
- Upgrayedd as Duck
- Brawndo CEO as James
- Judge Hector BMW as Gordon
- Voice of the IPPA Computer as Sir Topham Hatt
- Secret Service Thug as BoCo
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