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Jake & Friends: The Complete First Season is a Jake & Friends spoof to the first season of Thomas & Friends, each containing all twenty-six Season 1 episodes narrated by Ringo Starr for the UK.

Cast

  • Jake Long (from American Dragon: Jake Long) as Thomas
  • Kuzco (from The Emperor's New School) as Edward
  • Dave The Barbarian (from Dave The Barbarian) as Henry
  • Mike Chilton (from Motorcity) as Gordon
  • Randy Cunningham (from Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja) as James
  • Todd Daring (from The Replacements) as Percy
  • Milo Murphy (from Milo Murphy's Law) as Toby
  • Janna Ordonia and Hope Hadley (from Star vs. The Forces of Evil) as Annie and Clarabel
  • Princess Jasmine (from Aladdin) as Henrietta
  • Winnie The Pooh (from The New Adventures of Winnie The Pooh) as Bertie
  • Sebastian The Crab (from The Little Mermaid) as Terence
  • Mickey Mouse (from House of Mouse) as Sir Topham Hatt
  • Minnie Mouse (from House of Mouse) as Lady Hatt
  • Dipper and Mabel Pines (from Gravity Falls) as Stephen and Bridget Hatt
  • Mary Poppins (from Mary Poppins) as Mrs. Kyndley

Episodes

  1. Jake and Mike
  2. Kuzco and Mike
  3. The Sad Story of Dave
  4. Kuzco, Mike and Dave
  5. Jake's Flowers
  6. Jake and The Pirates
  7. Jake and The Breakdown Crane
  8. Randy and The Flowers
  9. Troublesome Pirates
  10. Randy and The Express
  11. Jake and The Guard
  12. Jake Goes Fishing
  13. Jake, Sebastian and The Snow
  14. Jake and Pooh
  15. Disney Characters and Turntables
  16. Trouble In The House
  17. Todd Runs Away
  18. Medicine
  19. The Flying Kipper
  20. Whistles and Sneezes
  21. Milo and The Stout Mouse
  22. Jake In Trouble
  23. Dirty Objects
  24. Off The Road
  25. Down The Mine
  26. Jake's Christmas Party

Script

Jake and Mike

  • Ringo Starr: Jake is an American Dragon who lives in a big station in Disneyland. He's a cheeky little character with black sneakers, a black and green hair, a red shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He's a fussy little character too. Always pulling coaches about ready for the big characters can take on long journeys. And when trains come in, he pulls the empty coaches away so that the big characters can go on rest. Jake thinks no character works has hard as he does. He loves playing tricks on them, including Mike the biggest and proudest character of all. Jake likes whistling rudely at him.
  • Jake: Wake up, lazybones. Why don't you work hard like me?
  • Ringo Starr: One day after pulling the big express, Mike had arrived back on the sidings very tired. He was just going to sleep when Jake came up in his cheeky way.
  • Jake: Wake up, lazybones. Do some hard work for a change. You can't catch me!
  • Ringo Starr: And off he ran laughing. Instead of going to sleep again, Mike thought how he can back at Jake. One morning, Jake wouldn't wake up. His driver and fireman couldn't make him start. His fire went out and there was not enough steam. It was nearly time for the express. People are waiting, but the coaches weren't ready. At last, Jake started.
  • Jake: Oh dear, oh dear!
  • Ringo Starr: He yawned. He fussed into the station where Mike was waiting.
  • Mike: Hurry up, you!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Jake: Hurry yourself.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Jake. Mike began making his plan.
  • Mike: Yes.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: I will.
  • Ringo Starr: And almost before the coaches had stopped moving, Mike reversed quickly and was coupled to the train.
  • Mike: Get in quickly, please!
  • Ringo Starr: He whistled. Jake usually pushed behind the big trains to help them start, but he was always uncoupled first. This time, Mike start so quickly they forgot to uncouple Jake. Mike's chance had come.
  • Mike: Come on, come on!
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Mike to the coaches. The train went faster and faster. Too fast for Jake, he wanted to stop, but he couldn't.
  • Jake: Peep peep! Stop, stop!
  • Mike: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • Ringo Starr: Laughed Mike.
  • Coaches: You can't get away, you can't get away!
  • Ringo Starr: Laughed the coaches. Poor Jake was going faster than he had ever gone before. He was out of breath and his feet hurt him, but he had to go on.
  • Jake: I shall never be the same again.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought sadly.
  • Jake: My feet will be quite worn out.
  • (Mike continues to speed ahead)
  • Ringo Starr: At last, they stopped at the station. Jake was uncoupled and he felt very silly and exhausted. Next he went on to the turntable thinking of everyone laughing at him. And then he ran on to a siding out of the way.
  • Mike: Well, little Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: Chuckled Mike.
  • Mike: Now you know what hard work means, don't you?
  • Ringo Starr: Poor Jake couldn't answer. He had no breath. He just puffed slowly away to rest and had a long long drink. He went home very slowly and was careful afterwards never to be cheeky to Mike again.

Kuzco and Mike

  • Ringo Starr: One day, Kuzco was in the house where he lived with the other characters. They were all bigger than Kuzco and boasted about it.
  • Mike: The driver won't choose you again.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: He wants strong characters like us.
  • Ringo Starr: But the driver and fireman felt sorry for Kuzco.
  • Driver: Would you like to come out today?
  • Kuzco: Oh yes, please.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Kuzco. So they lit his fire, made lots of steam and Kuzco puff away. The other characters were very cross of being left behind. Kuzco worked hard all day. The coaches thought he was very kind and the driver was very pleased.
  • Kuzco: I'm going out again tomorrow.
  • Ringo Starr: Kuzco told the other characters that night.
  • Kuzco: What do you think at that?
  • Ringo Starr: But he didn't hear what they thought, for he was so tired and happy that he fell asleep at once. Next morning, Kuzco woke up to find nothing had change. Mike was still boating.
  • Mike: You watch me, little Kuzco, as I rush through with the express. That will be a splendid sight for you. Goodbye, little Mike. Look out for me this afternoon.
  • Ringo Starr: Kuzco went off to do some shunting. Kuzco like shunting. It was fun playing with Beedrill. He would come out quietly and gave them a push. Then he would stop, and the silly Beedrill will go bump into the each other.
  • Beedrill: Oh!
  • Ringo Starr: They cried.
  • Beedrill: Whatever is happening?
  • Ringo Starr: Kuzco played till there were no more Beedrill. Then he stopped to rest. Presently, he heard a whistle. Mike was very cross. Instead of pulling shiny new coaches, he was pulling a very dirty Beedrill.
  • Mike: A goods train, a goods train, a goods train!
  • Ringo Starr: He grumbled.
  • Mike: The shame of it, the shame of it, oh, the shame of it!
  • Ringo Starr: Kuzco laughed and went to find some more Beedrill. Then, there was trouble.
  • Porter: Mike can't get up the hill.
  • Ringo Starr: The porter called to Kuzco's Driver.
  • Porter: Will you take Jason and push him please?
  • Ringo Starr: They found Mike halfway up, and very cross. His driver and fireman were talking to him severely.
  • Driver: You're not trying.
  • Mike: I can't do it!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: The noisy Beedrill hold a character back so!
  • Ringo Starr: Kuzco's driver came up.
  • Driver: We've come to push.
  • Mike: No use at all!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Driver: You wait and see.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Kuzco's driver. They brought the train back to the bottom of the hill.
  • Kuzco: I'm ready.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Kuzco.
  • Mike: No good.
  • Ringo Starr: Grumbled Mike. They pulled and pushed as hard as they could.
  • Mike: I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it!
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Mike.
  • Kuzco: I will do it, I will do it, I will do it!
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Kuzco. Kuzco pushed and puffed and puffed and pushed as hard as ever he could. And almost before he realized it, Mike found himself at the top of the hill.
  • Mike: I've done it, I've done it, I've done it!
  • Ringo Starr: He said proudly. He forgot all about kind Kuzco and didn't say thank you. Kuzco was left out of breath and far behind. He ran off to the next station and there he found that the driver and fireman were very pleased with him. The fireman gave him a nice long drink and the driver said...
  • Driver: I'll get out my paint tomorrow, and give you your beautiful coat of blue with red stripes, then you'll be the smartest character in the shed.

The Sad Story of Dave

  • Ringo Starr: Once a barbarian attached to some flowers was afraid of a few drops of rain. It went into a tunnel and squeaked through its funnel, and wouldn't come out again. The character's name is Dave. His driver and fireman argued with him, but he would not move.
  • Dave: The rain would spoil my lovely green paint and red stripes.
  • Ringo Starr: He said. The guard blew his whistle till he had no more breath, and waved his flag till his arms ached, but Dave still stayed in the tunnel and blew steam at him.
  • Dave I'm not going to spoil my lovely green paint and red stripes for you.
  • Ringo Starr: Then, along came Mickey Mouse, the mouse of charge of all the characters on Disneyland.
  • Mickey: We will pull you out.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey. But Dave only blew steam at him. Everyone pulled except Mickey.
  • Mickey: Because... (clears his throat)
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mickey: ...my doctor has forbidden me to pull.
  • Ringo Starr: But still, Dave stayed in the tunnel. Then, they tried pushing from the other end. Mickey Mouse said...
  • Mickey: One, two, three, push!
  • Ringo Starr: ...but he didn't help.
  • Mickey: (clears his throat) My doctor has forbbiden me to push.
  • Ringo Starr: He said. They pushed, and pushed, and pushed, but still, Dave stayed in the tunnel. At last, Jake came along. The guard waved his red flag and stopped him. Everyone argued with Dave.
  • Everyone: Look, it has stopped raining.
  • Ringo Starr: They said.
  • Dave: Yes, but it will began again soon.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Dave.
  • Dave: And what will become with green paint with red stripes then?
  • Ringo Starr: Jake pushed and puffed and pushed as hard as ever he could, but still Dave stayed in the tunnel. Eventually, even Mickey Mouse gave up.
  • Mickey: We shall take away your rails...
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mickey: ...and leave you here for always and always and always.
  • Ringo Starr: They took up the old rails, and built a wall in front of him so Dave couldn't get out of the tunnel anymore. All he could do was to watch the trains rushing through the other tunnel. He was very sad, because he thought no one would see his lovely green paint and red stripes again. As time went on, Kuzco and Mike would often pass by. Kuzco would say...
  • Kuzco: Peep, peep! Hello!
  • Ringo Starr: And Mike would say...
  • Mike: Boop, boop, boop! Serves you right!
  • Ringo Starr: Poor Dave had no steam to answer. His fire had gone out. Soot and dirt from the tunnel had spoilt his lovely green paint with red stripes anyway. He wondered if he would ever be allowed to pull flowers again. But I think he deserved his punishment, don't you?

Kuzco, Mike and Dave

  • Ringo Starr: Mike always pulled the express flowers. He was proud of being the only character strong enough to do so. It was full of important people like Mickey Mouse and Mike will see how fast he can go.
  • Mike: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Flowers: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock, tricktey-trock!
  • Ringo Starr: Said the flowers. In a minute, Mike will see the tunnel where Dave stood bricked up and lonely.
  • Dave: Oh, dear.
  • Ringo Starr: Thought Dave.
  • Dave: Why did I worried about rain spoiling my lovely coat of paint? Will Mickey Mouse ever forgive me and let me out again?
  • Mike: I'm going to boop boop at Dave.
  • Ringo Starr: He was almost there when... (wheesh) And there was proud Mike going slower and slower in a cloud of steam. His driver stopped the train.
  • Mike: What has happen to me?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked Mike.
  • Mike: I feel so weak.
  • Driver: You burst your safety valves.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the driver.
  • Driver: You can't pull the train anymore.
  • Mike: Oh dear.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: We were going so nicely too. And look, there's Dave laughing at me.
  • Ringo Starr: Everyone came to see Mike.
  • Mickey: Hmph.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • ​Mickey: I never like these big characters always going wrong. Send for another character at once.
  • Ringo Starr: While the guard went to find one, they uncoupled Mike who had enough puff to slink on the siding out of the way. Kuzco was the only character left.
  • Kuzco: I'll come and try.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mike: Hmph.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: That's no use. Kuzco can't push the train.
  • Ringo Starr: Kuzco puffed and pushed and pushed and puffed but he couldn't move the heavy flowers.
  • Mike: I told you so.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: Why not let Dave try?
  • Mickey: Yes.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • ​Mickey: I will. Will you help pull this train, Dave?
  • ​Ringo Starr: He asked.
  • Dave: Oh yes.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Dave. When Dave had got up steam, he puffed out. He was dirty and covered with cobwebs.
  • Dave: Oh, I'm stiffed, I'm stiffed.
  • Ringo Starr: He groaned.
  • Mickey: Have a run to ease your joints and find a turntable.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse. When Dave came back, he felt much better. Then they coupled him up.
  • Kuzco: Peep peep.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: I'm ready.
  • Dave: Peep peep peep.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Dave.
  • Dave: So am I. Pull hard, we'll do it! Pull hard, we'll do it!
  • Ringo Starr: They puffed together.
  • Kuzco and Dave: We've done it together! We've done it together!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Kuzco and Dave.
  • Flowers: You've done it hurray! You've done it hurray!
  • Ringo Starr: Sang the flowers. Everyone was excited. Mickey Mouse leaned out on the window to wave at Kuzco and Dave. But the train was going so fast, that his hat blew off into a field where a goat ated for tea. They never stopped til they came to the station at the end of the line. The passengers all said thank you, and Mickey Mouse promised Dave a new coat of paint. One their way home, Kuzco and Dave helped Mike back to the shed. All three characters are now great friends. Dave doesn't mind the rain now. He knows that the best way to keep his paint nicely not to run into tunnels, but to ask his driver to rub him down when the day's work was over.

Jake's Flowers

  • Ringo Starr: Jake Long was grumbling to the other Disney characters.
  • Jake: I spent my time pulling coaches about ready for you to take out on journeys.
  • Ringo Starr: The other characters laughed.
  • Jake: Why can't I pull passenger trains too?
  • Mike: You're too impatient.
  • Ringo Starr: They said.
  • Mike: You'd be sure to leave something behind.
  • Jake: Rubbish!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: I'll show you.
  • Ringo Starr: One night, he and Dave were alone. Dave was ill. The men worked hard, but he didn't get better. He felt just as bad next morning. Dave usually pull the first train and Jake had to get his flowers ready.
  • Jake: If Dave is ill.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought.
  • Jake: Perhaps I shall pull his train.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake ran off to find the flowers.
  • Jake: Come along, come along.
  • Ringo Starr: He fussed.
  • Flowers: There's plenty of time, there's plenty of time!
  • Ringo Starr: They grumbled. Jake took them to the platform and wanted to run round at once. But his driver wouldn't let him.
  • Driver: Don't be impatient, Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake waited and waited. The people got in, the guard and stationmaster walked up and down, the porter banged the doors and still Dave didn't come. Jake got more and more excited. Mickey Mouse came to see what was the matter, and the guard and stationmaster told him about Dave.
  • Mickey: Find another character.
  • Ringo Starr: He ordered.
  • Both: There's only Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: They said.
  • Mickey: You'll have to do it then, Jake. Be quick now.
  • Ringo Starr: So Jake ran round to the front and back down on the flowers ready to start.
  • Driver: Let's not be impatient.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Driver: We'll wait till everything was ready.
  • Ringo Starr: But Jake was too excited to listen. What happened then, no one knows. Perhaps they forgot to couple Jake to the train, or perhaps the Driver pulled the leather by mistake. Anyhow, Pooh started without his coaches. As the pass the signal tower, men waved and shouted, but he didn't stop.
  • Jake: They're waving because I'm such a splendid character.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought importantly.
  • Jake: Dave says it's hard to pull trains, but I think it's easy. Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed, pretending to be like Mike.
  • Jake: People had never seen me pulling a train before. It's nice of them to wave.
  • Ringo Starr: And he whistled.
  • Jake: Peep peep! Thank you.
  • Ringo Starr: Then he came to a signal at danger.
  • Jake: Bother!
  • Ringo Starr: He thought.
  • Jake: I must stop, and I was going so nicely too. What a nuisance signals are.
  • Ringo Starr: He blew an angry "Peep peep!" on his whistle. The signalman ran up.
  • Signalman: Hello, Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Signalman: What are you doing here?
  • Jake: I'm pulling the train.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: Can't you see?
  • Signalman: Where are your coaches then?
  • Ringo Starr: Jake looked back.
  • Jake: Why bless me.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Jake: If we hadn't leave them behind.
  • Signalman: Yes.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the signalman.
  • Signalman: You better go quickly and fetch them.
  • Ringo Starr: Poor Jake was so sad he nearly cried.
  • Driver: Cheer up.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Driver: Let's go back quickly and try again.
  • Ringo Starr: At the station, all the passengers were talking at once. They were telling Mickey Mouse what a bad railway it was. But when Jake came back, they saw how sad he was and couldn't be cross. He was coupled to the train, and this time he really pulled it. But for a long time afterwards, the other characters laughed at Jake and said...
  • Dave: Look! There's Jake, who wanted to pull the train, but forgot about the flowers.

Jake and The Pirates

  • Ringo Starr: Jake Long wouldn't stop being a nuisance. Night after night, he kept the other characters awake.
  • Jake: I'm tired of pushing flowers. I wanna see the world.
  • Ringo Starr: The other characters didn't take much notice, for Jake was a little character with a long tongue. But one night, Kuzco came to the shed. He was a kind little character and felt sorry for Jake.
  • Kuzco: I've got some pirates to take home tomorrow. If you take them instead of me, I'll push flowers in the yard.
  • Jake: Thank you.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: That would be nice.
  • Ringo Starr: Next morning, Kuzco and Jake asked their drivers, and when they said "yes", Jake ran off happily to find pirates. Now pirates were silly and noisy. They talked a lot and don't attend to what they are doing. And I'm sorry to say they play tricks on a character who is not used to them. Kuzco knew all about the pirates. He warned Pooh to be careful but Jake was too excited to listen. The shunter fastened the coupling and when the signal dropped, Jake was ready. The guard blew his whistle.
  • Jake: Peep Peep.
  • Ringo Starr: Answered Jake and started off. But the pirates weren't ready.
  • Pirates: Oh! Oh! Oh!
  • Ringo Starr: They screamed.
  • Pirates: Wait, Jake, wait!
  • Ringo Starr: But Jake wouldn't wait.
  • Jake: Come on come on.
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed.
  • Pirates: All right, all right, don't fuss! All right, don't fuss!
  • Ringo Starr: Grumbled the Pirates. Jake began going faster and faster.
  • Jake: Whee!
  • Ringo Starr: He whistled, as he rush through Dave's tunnel.
  • Jake: Hurry, hurry.
  • Ringo Starr: Called Jake. He was feeling very proud of himself. But the pirates grew crosser and crosser. At last Jake slowed down as he came to Mike's Hill.
  • Driver: Steady, now, steady.
  • Ringo Starr: Warned the driver, as he reach the top. He began to put on the brakes.
  • Jake: We're stopping, we're stopping!
  • Ringo Starr: Called Jake.
  • Pirates: No, no, no, no!
  • Ringo Starr: Answered the pirates bumping them to each other.
  • Pirates: Go on! Go on!
  • Ringo Starr: Before the driver could stop them they had pushed Jake down the hill and were rattling and laughing behind them. Poor Jake tried hard to stop them from making him go too fast.
  • Jake: Stop pushing, stop pushing!
  • Ringo Starr: He hissed. But the pirates took no notice.
  • Pirates: Go on! Go on!
  • Ringo Starr: They giggled in their silly way.
  • Jake: There's the station! Oh dear, what shall I do?
  • Ringo Starr: He cried. They rattled straight through and swerved into the goods yard. Jake shut his eyes.
  • Jake: I must stop!
  • Ringo Starr: When he opened his eyes, he saw he had stopped just in front of the buffers. There watching him was Mickey Mouse.
  • Mickey: What are you doing here, Jake?
  • Ringo Starr: He asked.
  • Jake: I brought Kuzco's pirates.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake answered.
  • Mickey: Why did you come so fast?
  • Jake: I didn't mean to. I was pushed.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Mickey: You've got a lot to learn about pirates, Jake. After pushing them about here for a few weeks you'll know almost as much about them as Kuzco. Then you'll be a really useful character.

Jake and The Breakdown Crane

  • Ringo Starr: Every day, Mickey Mouse came to the station to see the Disney characters.
  • Mickey: Hello.
  • Ringo Starr: He always said to Jake.
  • Mickey. Remember, don't be impatient, Jake. You can never be as strong and fast as Mike, but you can be a Really Useful Bear. Don't let the silly pirates tease you.
  • Ringo Starr: There were lots of pirates and Jake worked very hard pushing and pulling them into place. There was also a small coach and two strange things his driver called cranes.
  • Driver: That's the breakdown train.
  • Ringo Starr: He told Jake.
  • Driver: The cranes are for lifting heavy things like characters and flowers and pirates.
  • Ringo Starr: One day, Jake was in the yard. Suddenly he heard an character whistling.
  • Randy: Help! Help!
  • Ringo Starr: A goods train came rushing through much too fast. The character was Randy and he was frightened. His brake blocks were on fire.
  • Randy: They're pushing me, they're pushing me.
  • Ringo Starr: He panted.
  • Pirates: On, on, on!
  • Ringo Starr: Laughed the Pirates. Still whistling...
  • Randy: Help! Help!
  • Ringo Starr: Poor Randy disappeared.
  • Jake: I like to teach those pirates a lesson.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake Long.
  • (We hear an alarm ringing)
  • Ringo Starr: Soon came the alarm.
  • Signalman: Randy is off the line. The breakdown train quickly.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake was coupled on and off they went. Jake worked his hardest.
  • Jake: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed. He wasn't predenting to be like Mike. He really meant it.
  • Pooh: Bother those pirates and their tricks. I hope poor Randy isn't hurt.
  • Ringo Starr: Randy's driver and fireman were feeling him all over to see if he was hurt.
  • (Cows mooing)
  • Driver and Fireman: Never mind, Randy.
  • Ringo Starr: They said.
  • Driver and Fireman: It wasn't your fault. It was those wooden blocks they gave you. We always said they were no good.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake pushed the breakdown train alongside. Then he pulled away the unhurt pirates out of the way.
  • Pirates: Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
  • Ringo Starr: They groaned.
  • Jake: Serves you right, serves you right.
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Jake. He was hard at work puffing backwards and forwards all afternoon.
  • Jake: This'll teach you a lesson, this'll teach you a lesson.
  • Ringo Starr: He told the pirates. And they answered...
  • Pirates: Yes it will, yes it will.
  • Ringo Starr: They left the broken pirates. Then with two cranes they put Randy back on the rails. He tried to move, but he couldn't so Jake helped him back to the shed. Mickey Mouse was waiting anxiously for them.
  • Mickey: Well, Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mickey: I heard all about it and I'm very pleased with you. You're a really useful character. Randy shall have some proper brakes and a new coat of paint and you shall have a branch line all to yourself.
  • Jake: Oh thank you, sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake. Now Jake is as happy as can be. He has a branch line and two girls called Janna and Hope. He puffs proudly backwards and forwards with them all day. He is never lonely. Kuzco and Dave stop quite often and tell him the news. Mike is always in a hurry but never forgets to say...
  • Mike: Boop Boop.
  • Ringo Starr: And Jake always whistles...
  • Jake: Peep Peep.
  • Ringo Starr: In return.

Randy and The Flowers

  • Ringo Starr: Randy was enjoying his life in Disneyland, but he still had a lot to learn.
  • Mickey: You're a special mixed traffic character.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey.
  • Mickey: You can pull flowers or pirates quite easily, but you must learn by your mistakes.
  • Ringo Starr: Randy knew what Mickey Mouse meant. He could well remember that dreadful accident on his first day.
  • Kuzco: Be careful with the flowers, Randy.
  • Ringo Starr: Said kind Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: They don't like being bumped.
  • Ringo Starr: Everyone came to admire Randy.
  • Randy: I'm a really splendid character.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought and suddenly let off steam. A shower of water fell on Mickey's nice new top hat. Just then, the guard blew his whistle and Randy thought they had better go.
  • Randy: Go on, go on!
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed to Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: Don't push, don't push!
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Kuzco. The flowers were grumbling too.
  • Flowers: Don't go so fast, don't go so fast!
  • Ringo Starr: But Randy wouldn't listen. When at last they stopped at the next station two flowers were beyond the platform. They have to go back to let the passengers out. But no one seems to know about Mickey's new hat so Randy felt happier. Presently they came to the station where Jake was waiting with his two girls.
  • Jake: Hello, Randy.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: Feeling better? That's right. Oh, that's my guard's whistle. I must go. I don't know what Mickey Mouse to do without me to run this branch line.
  • Ringo Starr: And he puffed off importantly. Kuzco and Randy passed the field where Randy had had his accident. The fences were mended and the cows were back again. They ended their journey and rested before setting off for home. Randy was still wondering what Mickey would have to say about his new hat. Next morning, Mickey Mouse spoke severely to him.
  • Mickey: If you can't behave, I shall take away your red coat and have you painted blue.
  • Ringo Starr: Randy didn't like that at all. He was very rough with the grumbling flowers as he brought them to the platform.
  • Randy: Don't talk, come on!
  • Ringo Starr: He called to them.
  • Randy: Mike never fetches his own flowers.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought to himself.
  • Randy: And he's only a Burner.
  • Ringo Starr: To make Randy even more cross, this time no one came near him.
  • Randy: I'll show them.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought.
  • Randy: They think Mike is the only character who can pull flowers. Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Randy.
  • Flowers: You're going too fast, you're going to fast!
  • Ringo Starr: Replied the flowers. Randy laughed and tried to go faster, but the flowers wouldn't let him.
  • Flowers: We're going to stop!
  • Ringo Starr: They said.
  • Flowers: We're going to stop!
  • Randy: What's the matter?
  • Ringo Starr: Randy asked his driver.
  • Driver: The brakes were on, leak in the pipe most likey. You banged the flowers enough to make a leak in anything.
  • Guard: How should we mend it?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked the guard.
  • Driver: We'll do it with newspaper and a leather bootlace.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied the driver.
  • Guard: Well, where's the bootlace coming from?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked the guard.
  • Driver: Ask the passengers.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the driver.
  • Guard: You have a leather bootlace there I see, sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the guard to a smartly dressed man.
  • Guard: Please give it to me.
  • Man: I won't.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the man.
  • Guard: Then....
  • Ringo Starr: Said the guard.
  • Guard: I'm afraid the train will just stop where it is.
  • Ringo Starr: The passengers all said what a bad railway it was. Then they told the man how bad he was instead. Everyone was very cross. At last, he handed his laces over. The driver tied a pad of newspapers tightly round the hole in the brake pipe, and Randy was able to pull the train. But he was a sadder and wiser Randy, and took care never to bump flowers again.

Troublesome Pirates

  • Ringo Starr: Randy had not seen Mickey Mouse for several days. He was left alone for being naughty and was not even allowed out to work with flowers or pirates in the yard.
  • Randy: Oh dear.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought.
  • Randy: I shall have to stay in here for always and no one will see my red coat again. All because I went so fast that I made a hole in one of my flowers that had to be mended with, of all things, a passenger's bootlace.
  • Ringo Starr: At last Mickey Mouse arrived.
  • Mickey: I see you are sorry, Randy.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mickey: I hope now you will be a better kid. You have given me a lot of trouble. People are laughing at my land and I don't like that at all.
  • Randy: I'm very sorry, sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Randy.
  • Randy: I will try hard to behave.
  • Mickey: That's a good boy.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • ​Mickey: I want you to pull some pirates for me.
  • Ringo Starr: Randy was delighted and puffed away.
  • Jake: Here's your pirates, Randy.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: Have you got some bootlaces ready?
  • Ringo Starr: And he ran off laughing.
  • Pirates: Oh, oh, oh!
  • Ringo Starr: Said the pirates.
  • Pirates: We want a proper character, not a red monster.
  • Ringo Starr: Randy took no notice and started as soon as the guard was ready.
  • Randy: Come along, come along.
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed.
  • Pirates: We won't, we won't.
  • Ringo Starr: Screamed the pirates. But Randy didn't care and he pulled the screeching pirates stermly out of the station. The pirates tried hard to make him give up but he still kept on. Sometimes their brakes will slip on and sometimes their axles will run hot and each time the trouble had to be put right and each time Randy will start again, determined not to let them beat him.
  • Pirates: Give up, give up! You can't pull us! You can't, you can't!
  • Ringo Starr: Called the pirates.
  • Randy: I can and I will! I can and I will!
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Randy and slowly but surely, he pulled them along the line. At last they saw Mike's Hill.
  • Driver: Look out for trouble, Randy.
  • Ringo Starr: Warned his driver.
  • Driver: We'll go fast and get them up before they know it. Don't let them stop you.
  • Ringo Starr: So Randy went faster and soon they were halfway up.
  • Randy: I'm doing it, I'm doing it.
  • Ringo Starr: He panted.
  • Randy: Will the top never come?
  • Ringo Starr: Then with a sudden jerk, it all came easier.
  • Randy: I've done it, I've done it.
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed.
  • Randy: Hooray! It's easy now.
  • Ringo Starr: But his driver shut off steam.
  • Driver: They've done it again. We've left our tail behind. Look.
  • Ringo Starr: The last pirates were running backwards down the hill. A coupling had snapped. But the guard stopped the pirates and got out to warn approaching characters.
  • Randy: That's why it was easy.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Randy as he backed the other pirates carefully down.
  • Randy: What silly things pirates are. They're might have been an accident.
  • Kuzco: Shall I help you, Randy?
  • Ringo Starr: Called Kuzco.
  • Randy: Uh, no thank you.
  • Ringo Starr: Answered Randy.
  • ​Randy: I'll pull them myself.
  • Kuzco: Good, don't let them beat you. You're doing well!
  • Ringo Starr: Whistled Kuzco as Randy slowly struggled up the hill.
  • Randy: I can do it, I can do it.
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed. He pulled and puffed as hard as he could.
  • Randy: I've done it, I've done it!
  • Ringo Starr: He panted. They reached their station safely and Randy was resting in the yard when Kuzco pulled up.
  • Kuzco: Peep peep!
  • Ringo Starr: He whistled. Then, Randy saw Mickey Mouse.
  • Randy: Oh dear, what will he say?
  • Ringo Starr: He asked himself. But Mickey Mouse was smiling.
  • Mickey: I was in Kuzco's train and I saw everything.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mickey: You made the most troublesome pirates on the line behaved. After that, you deserved to keep your red coat.

Randy and The Express

  • Ringo Starr: One night, Dave and Mike were alone with Randy. Although Mickey Mouse was beginning to think well of them. Whenever a chance came the other characters will talk of nothing but bootlace.
  • Dave: Remember when they had to use a bootlace to get you out of trouble, Randy?
  • Ringo Starr: They would tease. Randy tried to get back by talking about Dave who got shut up in a tunnel and Mike who got stuck on a hill. But they wouldn't listen.
  • Mike: You talk too much little Randy?
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: A fine strong character like me has something to talk about. I'm the only character who can pull the express. When I'm not there, they need two characters. Think of that. I've pulled expresses for years, and have never once lost my way. I seem to know the right line by instinct.
  • Ringo Starr: Every wise character knows of course that the signalman sets the points to make the characters run on the right track. But Mike was so proud he had forgotten.
  • Mike: Wake up, Randy?
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike next morning.
  • Mike: It's nearly time for the express. What are you doing? Odd Jobs? Ah well. We all have to begin somewhere, don't we? Run along and get my coaches. Don't be late.
  • Ringo Starr: Randy went to get Mike's coaches. They were all shining with new paint. He was careful not to bump them and they followed him smoothly into the station, singing happily...
  • Coaches: We're going away, we're going away.
  • Randy: I wish I was going with you.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Randy.
  • Randy: I should love to pull the express and go flying above the line!
  • Ringo Starr: Mike with much noise and blowing off steam, got ready to back on to the train. Mickey Mouse was on the train with other important people and as soon as they heard the guard's whistle, Mike started.
  • Mike: Look at me now! Look at me now!
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed and the coaches glided after him.
  • Mike: Boop boop boop boop boop! Goodbye, little Randy, see you tomorrow!
  • Ringo Starr: Randy watched the train disappeared and then went back to work. He pushed some pirates into their proper sidings and went to fetch the coaches for another train. Randy had just brought the coaches into the platform when he heard a mournful noise. There was Mike trying to sneak into the station without being noticed.
  • Randy: Hello, Mike. Is it tomorrow?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked Randy. Mike didn't answer. He just let off steam feebly.
  • Randy: Did you lose your weight, Mike?
  • Ringo Starr: Said Randy.
  • Mike: No, it was lost for me. I was switched off the main line onto the loop. I have to go all around and back again.
  • Randy: Perhaps it was instinct.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Randy. Meanwhile, all the passengers hurried to the ticket window.
  • Passengers: We want our money back!
  • Ringo Starr: They shouted. But Mickey Mouse climbed onto a cart and blew the guard's whistle so loudly that they all stopped to look at him. Then he promised a new train at once.
  • Mickey: Mike can't do it.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mickey: Will you pull it for us, Randy?
  • Randy: Yes sir, I'll try.
  • Ringo Starr: So Randy was coupled on, and everyone got in.
  • Mickey: Do your best, Randy.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey.
  • Randy: Come along, come along!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Randy.
  • Coaches: You're pulling us well, you're pulling us well!
  • Ringo Starr: Sang the coaches. Bridges and stations flashed by the passengers cheered and they soon reached the station. Everyone said thank you to Randy and Mickey Mouse was very impressed.
  • Mickey: Well done.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mickey: Would you like to pull the express sometimes?
  • Randy: Yes, please.
  • Ringo Starr: Answered Randy. Next day when Randy came by, Mike was pushing pirates.
  • Mike: I like some quiet work for a change.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mike: I'm teaching these pirates manners. You did well with those coaches I hear. Good, we'll show them.
  • Ringo Starr: And he gave his pirates a bump. Randy and Mike are now good friends. Randy sometimes takes the express to give Mike a rest. Mike never talks about bootlaces, and they are both quite agreed on a subject of pirates.

Jake and The Guard

  • Ringo Starr: Jake Long is very proud of his route. He thinks it's the most important part of the whole university. His two girls, Janna and Hope, agree with him. Janna could only take passengers but Hope can take passengers, luggage and the guard. They were both old and need new paint but Jake loves them very much. As they run backwards and forwards along the line, they sing songs to each other. When Jake starts from the station he sings...
  • Jake: Oh, come along, we're rather late. Oh, come along, we're rather late.
  • Ringo Starr: And the girls sang...
  • Janna and Hope: We're coming along. We're coming along.
  • Ringo Starr: They don't mind that Jake says to them because he know he was trying to please Mickey Mouse, and to know to that if Jake is cross, he's not cross with them. One day, they have to wait for Dave's train which made Jake very cross.
  • Jake: How could I run my line properly if Dave is always late? He doesn't realize that Mickey Mouse depends on me.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake whistled impatiently. He wanted to leave, but he have to wait for Dave's passengers. At last Dave came.
  • Jake: Where have you been, lazybones?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked Jake.
  • Dave: Oh dear, my system is out of order. No one understands my case. You don't know what I suffer.
  • Ringo Starr: Moaned Dave.
  • Jake: Rubbish!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: You're too fat. You need exercise.
  • Ringo Starr: The guard blew his whistle and Jake started so quickly that he left him behind. The guard waved his red flag to stop Jake, but he was on his way steaming out of the station.
  • Jake: Come along, come along.
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Jake, but Hope didn't want to come.
  • Hope: I've lost my nice guard, I've lose my nice guard.
  • Ringo Starr: She sobbed. Janna tried to help Jake what had happened.
  • Janna: We haven't a guard, we haven't a guard!
  • Ringo Starr: But he was hurrying and wouldn't listen. Janna and Hope tried to put on their brakes, but they couldn't without their guard.
  • Janna and Hope: Where is our guard? Where is our guard?
  • Ringo Starr: They cried, but Jake didn't stop till they came to a signal.
  • Jake: Bother that signal.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: What's the matter?
  • Driver: I don't know.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Driver: The guard will tell us in a minute.
  • Ringo Starr: They waited and waited but the guard didn't come.
  • Jake: Peep peep peep, where is the guard?
  • Ringo Starr: Whistled Jake.
  • Janna and Hope: We've left him behind!
  • Ringo Starr: Sobbed Janna and Hope together. Everyone looked, and there he was running as fast as he could along the line, with his flag on one hand and his whistle in the other. He was very hot, so he had a drink, and told them all about it.
  • Jake: I'm very sorry, Mr. Guard.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Guard: It wasn't your fault, Pooh.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied the guard.
  • Guard: Look, the signal's down. We can go. Let's make up for lost time.
  • Ringo Starr: Janna and Hope were so pleased to have their guard again, but they sang...
  • Janna and Hope: As fast as you like, as fast as you like!
  • Ringo Starr: ...to Jake all the way. They reached the end of the line quicker than ever before.
  • (Jake arrives at the last station)

Jake Goes Fishing

  • Ringo Starr: When Jake walked along his route, he always looked forward to something special: the sight of the river. As they rumble over the bridge, he would see people fishing. Jake often wanted to stay and watch, but his driver said...
  • Driver: No! What would Mickey Mouse say if we were late?
  • Ringo Starr: Every time he met another character he say...
  • Jake: I want to fish.
  • Ringo Starr: But they all had the same answer.
  • Randy: Characters don't go fishing.
  • Jake: Silly stick in the muds.
  • Ringo Starr: Thought Jake. One day, he stopped as usual to take him water at the station by the river. Out of order.
  • Jake: Bother!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake:
  • Jake: I'm thirsty.
  • Driver: Never mind.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Driver: We'll get some water from the river.
  • Ringo Starr: They found a bucket and some rope and went to the bridge. Then the driver left the bucket down to the water. The bucket was old and have five holes, so they had to fill it, pull it up, and empty it into Jake's tank as quickly as they could several times over. They finished at last.
  • Jake: That's good, that's good.
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Jake and Janna and Hope ran happily behind. Suddenly, Jake began to feel a pain in his boiler. Steam began to hiss with his safety valve in an alarming way.
  • Driver: There's too much steam!
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Jake: Oh dear!
  • Ringo Starr: Groaned Jake.
  • Jake: I'm going to burst! I'm going to burst!
  • Ringo Starr: They damped down his fire and struggled on.
  • Pooh: I've got such a pain, I've got such a pain!
  • Ringo Starr: Jake hissed. They stopped just outside the last station, uncoupled Janna and Hope and ran Pooh, who was still hissing fit to burst, on a siding right out of the way. Then, while the guard telephoned for an engine inspector, the driver found notice in large letters, which he hung on Jake in front and behind. Danger: Keep Away. Soon, the inspector and Mickey Mouse arrived.
  • Inspector: Cheer up, Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: They said.
  • Inspector: We'll soon put you right.
  • Ringo Starr: The driver told them what had happened.
  • Inspector: So the feed pipe is blocked.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the inspector.
  • Inspector: I'll just look in the tanks.
  • Ringo Starr: He climbed up and peered in, then he came down.
  • Inspector: Excuse me, sir, please look in the tank and tell me what you see.
  • Mickey: Certainly, inspector.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Mickey Mouse. He clambered up, looked in and nearly fell off in surprise.
  • Mickey: Inspector.
  • Ringo Starr: He whispered.
  • Mickey: Can you see fish?
  • (Jake is horrified upon hearing this)
  • Mickey: Gracious goodness me! How did the fish get there, driver?
  • Driver: We must have fished them from the river with our bucket.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Jake's driver.
  • Mickey: Well Jake, so you and your driver had been fishing. But fish don't suit you. We must get them out.
  • Ringo Starr: They all took turns and fishing into Jake's tank while Mickey Mouse looked down and told them how to do it. When they had caught all the fish, they had a lovely picnic supper of fish and chips.
  • Mickey: Mmm. That was good.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey.
  • Mickey: But fish don't suit you, Jake, so you mustn't do it again.
  • Jake: No, sir, I won't.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake sadly.
  • Jake: Characters don't go fishing. It's too uncomfortable.

Jake, Sebastian and The Snow

  • Ringo Starr: Autumn had come to Disneyland. The fields were changing from yellow stubble to brown earth and an tractor was hard at work as Jake puff along. Later, Jake saw the crab close by.
  • Sebastian: Hello.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the crab.
  • Sebastian: I'm Sebastian, I'm plowing.
  • Jake: I'm Jake, I'm pulling a train. What ugly wheels you got.
  • Sebastian: They're not ugly, they're caterpillars.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Sebastian.
  • Sebastian: I can go anywhere. I don't need rails.
  • Jake: I don't want to go anywhere.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: I like my rails, thank you.
  • Ringo Starr: Winter came with dark clouds full of snow.
  • Driver: I don't like it.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake's driver.
  • Driver: A heavy fall is coming. I hope it doesn't stop us.
  • Jake: Huh!
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Jake.
  • Jake: Soft stuff, nothing to it.
  • Ringo Starr: And he puffed on feeling cold but confident. They finished their journey safely but by now the country was covered.
  • Driver: You need your snowplough for the next journey, Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Jake: Huh! Snow is silly soft stuff it won't stop me.
  • Ringo Starr: The snowplough was heavy and uncomfortable and made Jake cross. He shook it and he banged it and when they got back it was so damaged that the driver had to take it off.
  • Driver: You're a very naughty boy.
  • Ringo Starr: He said to Jake. Next morning, Jake's driver and fireman came early and worked hard to mend the snowplough, but they couldn't make it fit. Jake was pleased.
  • Jake: I shan't have to wear it, I shan't have to wear it.
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed to Janna and Hope. But they were rather worried.
  • Janna and Hope: I hope it's all right, I hope it's all right.
  • Ringo Starr: They whispered to each other. The driver was worried too.
  • Driver: It's not bad here.
  • Ringo Starr: He said to the fireman.
  • Driver: But it's sure to be deep in the valley.
  • Jake: Silly soft stuff.
  • Ringo Starr: Huffed Jake.
  • Jake: I didn't need that stupid old thing yesterday and I shan't today. Snow can't stop me.
  • Ringo Starr: He rushed into a tunnel thinking how clever he was. But there was trouble ahead.
  • (Crash)
  • Jake: Flatten my flames!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: I'm stuck.
  • Ringo Starr: And he was.
  • Driver: Back, Jake, back.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver. Jake tried but his feet run and he couldn't move. The guard went back for help while everyone else tried to dig the snow away. But as fast as they dug, more snow slipped down until Jake was nearly buried.
  • Jake: Oh, my feet and coupling rods. I shall have to stop here till I'm frozen. What a silly trainer I am.
  • Ringo Starr: And Jake began to cry. At last the bus came to rescue the passengers. And then who should come to Jake's rescue but Sebastian. Snow never worries him. He pulled the empty girls away, then came back for Jake. Jake's feet were clear but still spun when he tried to move. Sebastian tugged and slipped and slipped and tugged and at last dragged Jake clear of the snow ready for the journey home.
  • Jake: Thank you, Sebastian. Your caterpillars are splendid.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Driver: I hope you'll be sensible now, Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Jake: I'll try.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake and he puffed hummily away.

Jake and Pooh

  • Ringo Starr: Jake was waiting at the junction when a bear arrived.
  • Jake: Hello.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: Who are you?
  • Pooh: I'm Winnie the Pooh. Who are you?
  • Jake: I'm Jake. I run this branch line.
  • Pooh: So you're Jake, eh? I remembered now. You got stuck in the snow. I took your passengers and Sebastian pulled you out. I've come to help you with your passengers today.
  • Jake: Help me?
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: I can go faster than you.
  • Pooh: You can't.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Pooh.
  • Jake: I can.
  • Ringo Starr: Huffed Jake.
  • Pooh: I'll race you!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Pooh. Their drivers agreed for the race going ahead. The stationmaster said...
  • Stationmaster: Are you ready? Go!
  • Ringo Starr: Jake never could go fast at first and Pooh drew in front.
  • Janna and Hope: Why don't you go fast, why don't you go fast?
  • Ringo Starr: Called Janna and Hope.
  • Jake: Wait and see, wait and see.
  • Ringo Starr: Hissed Jake.
  • Janna and Hope: He's a long way ahead.
  • Ringo Starr: They wailed. But Jake didn't mind. He remembered the level crossing. There was Pooh fuming at the gates while they sail gaily through.
  • Jake: Goodbye, Pooh!
  • Ringo Starr: Called Jake. After that the road left the railway so that they couldn't see Pooh. Then, they had to stop at the station to let off passengers.
  • Jake: Peep peep peep! Quicky please!
  • Ringo Starr: Called Jake and off they went again.
  • Jake: Come along, come along.
  • Ringo Starr: Sang Jake.
  • Janna and Hope: We're coming along, we're coming along.
  • Ringo Starr: Sang Janna and Hope.
  • Jake: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • Ringo Starr: Panted Jake, then he looked ahead. There was Pooh tooting triumphly on his horn.
  • Jake: Oh deary me, oh deary me!
  • Ringo Starr: Groaned Jake.
  • Driver: Steady, Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Driver: We'll beat Pooh yet.
  • Janna and Hope: We'll beat Pooh yet, we'll beat Pooh yet.
  • Ringo Starr: Echoed Janna and Hope.
  • Jake: We'll do it, we'll do it.
  • Ringo Starr: Panted Jake.
  • Jake: Oh bother! There's the station.
  • Ringo Starr: Then he heard Pooh.
  • Pooh: Goodbye, Jake. You must be tired. Sorry I can't stop. We bears have to work here you know. Goodbye.
  • Jake: Oh dear.
  • Ringo Starr: Thought Jake.
  • Jake: We've lost.
  • Ringo Starr: But he felt better after a drink. The signal dropped.
  • Jake: Hurrah, we're off! Hurrah, we're off!
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Jake. As they crossed the bridge, they heard an impatient...
  • Pooh: Honk honk!
  • Ringo Starr: There was Pooh waiting at the traffic lights. He started with a roar and chased on after Jake once again. Now Jake reached his full speed. Pooh tried hard but Jake was too fast. Whistling triumphantly he plunged into the tunnel leaving Pooh toiling far behind.
  • Jake: We've done it, we've done it!
  • Ringo Starr: Panted Jake.
  • Janna and Hope: We've done it, hooray! We've done it, hooray!
  • Ringo Starr: Chanted Janna and Hope as they whooshed into the last station. Everyone was there to celebrate Jake's victory. But they gave Pooh a big welcome too.
  • Pooh: Well done, Jake.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Pooh.
  • Pooh: That was fun. But to beat you over that hill, I should have to grow wings and be an airplane.
  • Ringo Starr: They now kept each others very busy. They often talked about their race, but Pooh's passengers don't like being bounced like peas in the frying pan, and Mickey Mouse has warned Jake not to race at dangerous speeds. So although, between you and me, they would like to have another race. I don't think they ever will, do you?

Disney Characters and Turntables

  • Ringo Starr: Dave and Mike were lonely when Jake left the yard to run his route. They missed him very much. They had more work to do and had to fetch some more coaches. They didn't like that. Randy grumbled too.
  • Dave: We get no rest, we get no rest!
  • Ringo Starr: They all complained. But the coaches only laughed.
  • Coaches: You're lazy and slack, you're lazy and slack!
  • Ringo Starr: They answered. All together, the characters were causing Mickey Mouse a great deal of trouble. The big stations both ends on the line each have a turntable. Mickey Mouse had made them so that the tender characters can be turned round because it is dangerous for them to go fast and backwards. Characters like Jake don't need turntables. They can go just as well backwards as forwards. But to hear Mike talk, he would've thought that Mickey Mouse had given him a tender just to show how important he was.
  • Mike: You don't understand, little Jake. We Big Characters have a position to keep up. It doesn't matter where you go, but we are important, and for Mickey Mouse to make us shunt pirates, fetch coaches and go on some of those dirty sidings it's, it's, well, it's not the proper thing.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake chuckled and went off with Janna and Hope.
  • Mike: Disgraceful!
  • Ringo Starr: Mike hissed as he ran backwards to the turntable. The turntable was in the windy place close to the sea, and he was not on it just right, he put amount of balance and made a difficult to turn. Today, Mike was in the bad temper, and the wind was blowing fiercly. His driver tried to make him stop in the right place but Mike wasn't trying. The fireman tried to turn the handle, but Mike's weight and the strong wind prevented him.
  • Driver: It's no good.
  • Ringo Starr: They said at last.
  • Driver: Your tender upsets the balance. If you're a little character, you be all right. Now you have to pull the next train backwards.
  • Boys: Look!
  • Ringo Starr: Called some boys.
  • Boys: There's a new character! Oh, it's only Mike, back to front.
  • Jake: Hello!
  • Ringo Starr: Called Jake.
  • Jake: Playing little characters? Sensible character. Take my advice, scrap your tender and have a nice bunker.
  • Ringo Starr: Mike said nothing. Even Randy laughed when he saw him.
  • Mike: Take care.
  • Ringo Starr: Hissed Mike.
  • Mike: You might stick too.
  • Randy: No fear.
  • Ringo Starr: Chuckled Randy.
  • Randy: I'm not so fat as you. I mustn't stick.
  • Ringo Starr: Thought Randy. He stopped on just the right place to balance the table. It could now swing easily. Mike arrived and time to see everything. Randy turned much too easily. The wind puffed him round like a top. He couldn't stop!
  • Mike: Well, well!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: Are you playing roundabouts?
  • Ringo Starr: Poor Randy feeling quite giddy rolled off to the shed without a word. That night, the three characters had an indignation meeting.
  • Mike: It's shameful to treat tender characters like this. Mike has to go backwards and people think he's a tank character, Randy spins like a top and everyone laughs at us. And added to that, Mickey Mouse makes us all shunt in dirty sidings. Blech! Listen.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike. He whispered something to the others.
  • Mike: We'll do it tomorrow. Mickey Mouse will look silly.
  • Ringo Starr: The characters had decided to go on strike.

Trouble In The House

  • Ringo Starr: Mickey Mouse sat in his office listening to the noise outside. The passengers were angry. The stationmaster came in.
  • Stationmaster: There's trouble in the library, sir. Dave was sulking. There's no train and the passengers are saying this is a bad railway.
  • Mickey: Indeed.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • Mickey: We cannot allow that.
  • Ringo Starr: He found Mike, Randy and Dave looking very cross.
  • Mickey: Come along, Dave. It's time your train was ready.
  • Mike: Dave's not going!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: We won't shunt like common characters. That was Jake's job. We are important tender characters. You fetch our coaches and we will pull them. Tender characters don't shunt.
  • Mickey: Oh, indeed.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • Mickey: We'll see about that. Characters on my railway do as they are told.
  • Ringo Starr: And he hurried away to find Kuzco.
  • Mickey: The yard has never been the same since Jake left to run his branch line.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought sadly. Kuzco was shunting.
  • Mickey: Leave those pirates please, Kuzco.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey.
  • Mickey: I want to push coaches for me in the yard.
  • Hercules: Thank you, sir. That will be a nice change.
  • Mickey: That's a good boy. Off you go then.
  • Ringo Starr: So Kuzco found coaches for the three characters and that day, the train's ran as usual. But next morning, Kuzco looked unhappy. Mike came clanking pass hissing rudely.
  • Mickey: Bless me!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey.
  • Mickey: What a noise!
  • Kuzco: They all hissed me, Sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Answered Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: They say tender characters don't shunt and last night they said I have black feet. I haven't have I, sir?
  • Mickey: No Kuzco, you have nice blue ones, and I'm proud of you. Tender characters do shunt, but all the same we do need another character here.
  • Ringo Starr: He went to the workshop and they showed them all sorts of characters. At last, he saw a little kid with orange hair.
  • Mickey: That's the one.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought.
  • Mickey: If I choose you, will you work hard?
  • Todd: Oh sir, yes sir.
  • Mickey: That's a good boy. I'll call you Todd.
  • Todd: Yes sir, thank you sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Todd. And Mickey Mouse brought him back to the yard.
  • Mickey: Kuzco.
  • Ringo Starr: He called.
  • Mickey: Here's Todd. Will you show him everything?
  • Ringo Starr: Todd soon learned what he had to do and they had a happy afternoon. Then Dave came by hissing as usual.
  • Todd: Wheesh!
  • Ringo Starr: Went Todd. Dave jumped and ran back to the shed.
  • Kuzco: How beautifully you wheeshed him!
  • Ringo Starr: Laughed Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: I can't wheesh like that.
  • Todd: Oh.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Todd.
  • Todd: That's nothing. You should hear them in the workshop. You have to wheesh loudly to make yourself heard.
  • Ringo Starr: Next morning, Jake arrived.
  • Jake: Mickey Mouse sent to me. I expect he wants help.
  • Ringo Starr: He said to Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: Sh, sh, here he comes.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Kuzco.
  • Mickey: Well done, Jake, you've been quick. Listen, Dave, Mike and Randy are sulking they say they won't shunt like common characters, so I have shut them up and I want you both to run a line for a while.
  • Jake: Common characters indeed.
  • Ringo Starr: Snorted Jake.
  • Jake: We'll show them.
  • Mickey: And Todd will help too.
  • Todd: Oh sir, yes sir, please sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Answered Todd. Kuzco and Jake worked the main line greeting each other as they pass by. Todd puffed along the branch line. Jake was anxious about Janna and Hope, but both driver and guard promise to take care of them. They were fewer trains but the passengers didn't mind. They knew the three other characters were having a lesson. Mike, Randy and Dave were cold, lonely and miserable. They wish now they haven't been so silly.

Todd Runs Away

  • Ringo Starr: Dave, Randy and Mike were miserable. They had been shut up for several days for being naughty and longed to be let out again. At last, Mickey Mouse arrived.
  • Mickey: I hope you are sorry.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mickey: And understand that every job on the railway is important. We have a new character named Todd who helps pull coaches and Jake and Kuzco had worked the main line nicely, but I will let you now if you promise to work hard.
  • Mike: Yes sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the three characters.
  • Randy: We will.
  • Mickey: That's right, but please remember that this no shunting nonsense must stop.
  • Ringo Starr: He then told Todd, Kuzco and Jake that they can go and play on a branch line for a few days, and they ran off happily to find Janna and Hope at the junction. The two ladies were very pleased to see Jake again. Kuzco and Todd played with the pirates.
  • Pirates: Stop, stop, stop!
  • Ringo Starr: Screamed the pirates as they pushed them to their proper sidings. But the two boys laughed and went on shunting till the pirates were tightling arranged. Next, Kuzco took some empty pirates from the quarry. Todd was left alone. He didn't mind that a bit. He like watching trains and being cheeky to the other characters.
  • Todd: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • Ringo Starr: He would call, and they got very cross. After a great deal of shunting, Todd was waiting for the signalman to set the points so that he can go back to the yard. He was eager to work, but was being rather careless and not paying attention. Kuzco had warned Todd.
  • Kuzco: Be careful on the main line. Whistle to the signalman that you are there.
  • Ringo Starr: But Todd didn't remember to whistle, and so the busy signalman forgot him. Todd waited and waited. The points were still against him so he couldn't move. Then, he looked along the main line.
  • Todd: Peep, peep!
  • Ringo Starr: He whistled in horror, for rushing straight towards him was Mike with the express.
  • Mike: Oh!
  • Ringo Starr: Groaned Mike.
  • Mike: Get out of my way!
  • (Mike approaches Todd, who then shuts his eyes and the big character comes to a frightening halt)
  • Ringo Starr: Todd opened his eyes. Mike had stopped with Todd's buffers a few inches from his own. But Todd had began to move.
  • Todd: I won't stay here, I'll run away!
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed. He ran straight through Kuzco's station, and was so frighetend that he ran right up Mike's hill without stopping. After that, he was tired, but he couldn't stop. He had no driver to shut off steam and applied his brakes.
  • Todd: I want to stop! I want to stop!
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed. The man in the signalbox saw Todd was in trouble, so he kindly set the points. Todd puffed wearly onto a nice empty siding, ending in a big bank of earth. He was too tired now to care where he went.
  • Todd: I want to stop, I want to stop! I have stopped!
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed thankfully.
  • Workmen: Never mind, Todd.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the workmen as they dug him out.
  • Workmen: You shall have some drink and some coal and then you feel better.
  • Ringo Starr: Presently, Mike arrived.
  • Mike: Well done, Todd. You started so quickly that you stopped the nasty accident.
  • Todd: I'm sorry I was cheeky.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Todd.
  • Todd: You were clever to stop.
  • Ringo Starr: Then Mike helped pull Todd out from the bank. Todd is still cheeky because he's that sort of character. But he was always most careful that he goes out on the main line.

Medicine

  • Ringo Starr: One morning, Dave was feeling very sorry for himself. Sometimes he can pull trains, but sometimes he felt he had no strength at all.
  • Dave: I suffer dreadfully and no one cares.
  • Randy: Rubbish, Dave!
  • Ringo Starr: Snorted Randy.
  • Randy: You don't work hard enough!
  • Ringo Starr: Mickey Mouse spoke to him too.
  • Mickey: You're too expensive, Dave. You have lots of new parts and new paint too, but they've done you no good. If we can't make you better, we must get another character instead of you.
  • Ringo Starr: This made Dave, his driver and fireman very sad. Mickey Mouse was waiting when Dave came to the platform. He had taken off his hat and coat and put on overalls. Dave managed to start but his fireman was not satisfied.
  • Fireman: Dave is a bad steamer.
  • Ringo Starr: He said to Mickey Mouse.
  • Fireman: I built up his fire, but it doesn't give enough heat.
  • Ringo Starr: Dave tried very hard, but it was no good. He didn't have enough steam, and came to a stop outside Kuzco's station.
  • Dave: Oh dear!
  • Ringo Starr: Thought Dave.
  • Dave: I shall have to go away! Oh dear, oh dear!
  • Ringo Starr: All he could do is to go slowly onto a siding, and Kuzco took charge of the train. Mickey Mouse and the Fireman went on discussing Dave's troubles.
  • Mickey: What do you think is wrong, fireman?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked Mickey.
  • Fireman: Excuse me, sir.
  • Ringo Starr: He answered.
  • Fireman: But the fact is the medicine was wrong. We've had a poor lot lately, and today's it's worse. The other characters can manage. They had big fireboxes. Dave's is small and can't make the heat. With Welsh medicine, he'd be a different character.
  • Mickey: It's expensive.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • Mickey: But Dave must have a fair chance. Randy shall go and fetch them.
  • Ringo Starr: When the Welsh medicine came, Dave's Driver and Fireman were excited.
  • Fireman: Now we'll show 'em, Dave old fellow.
  • Ringo Starr: They carefully made his fire, putting large lumps of coal like a wall round the outside, then the glowing middle part was covered in smaller lumps.
  • Dave: You're spoiling my fire.
  • Ringo Starr: Complained Dave.
  • Fireman: Wait and see.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the fireman.
  • Fireman: We'll have a roaring fire just when we wanted.
  • Ringo Starr: The fireman was right. When Dave reach the platform, the water was boiling nicely, and he had to let off steam.
  • Mickey: How are you, Dave?
  • Dave: Peep, peep!
  • Ringo Starr: Whistled Dave.
  • Dave: I feel fine!
  • Mickey: Have you a good fire, driver?
  • Driver: Never better, sir, and plenty of steam.
  • Mickey: No record breaking.
  • Ringo Starr: Warned Mickey.
  • Mickey: Don't push him too hard.
  • Driver: Dave won't need pushing, sir. I'll have to hold him back.
  • Ringo Starr: Dave had a lovely day. He had never felt so well of his life. He wanted to go fast, but his driver wouldn't let him.
  • Driver: Steady old fellow.
  • Ringo Starr: He would say.
  • Driver: There's plenty of time.
  • Ringo Starr: They arrived early at the station. Jake puffed in.
  • Dave: Where have you been, lazybones?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked Dave.
  • Dave: Oh, I can't wait for dawdling characters like you. Goodbye.
  • Jake: Whoosh!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake to Janna and Hope.
  • Jake: Have you ever seen anything like it?
  • Ringo Starr: Both Janna and Hope agreed that they never had.

The Flying Kipper

  • Ringo Starr: One winter evening, Dave's driver said...
  • Driver: We'll be out early tomorrow. We've got to take the Flying Kipper. Don't tell Mike, but I think if we pull the Kipper nicely, Mickey Mouse will let us pull the express. The special medicine they gave you is working well.
  • Dave: Hurrah!
  • Ringo Starr: Cried Dave.
  • Dave: That will be lovely.
  • Ringo Starr: All kinds of ships use the harbour at the big station by the sea. There are passenger ships, cargo ships and fishing boats also come here. They unload their fish on the key. Some of them goes the shops in the town, and the rest in a special train to other places far away. This is the train the railwaymen called the Flying Kipper. Dave was ready at 5:00. There was snow and frost. Men hustled and shouted loading the vanes with the crates of fish. The last door banged, the guard showed his green lamp, and the Flying Kipper was ready to go.
  • Dave: Come on, come on, don't be silly, don't be silly.
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Dave to the vans. The vans shuttered and groaned.
  • Vans: Trock-trock, trock-trick, all right, all right!
  • Dave: That is better, that is better.
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Dave. Clouds of smoke and steam poured from his funnel into the cold air, and the fire's light shown brightly.
  • Dave: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
  • Ringo Starr: Panted Dave. They were going well. The light grew better, signal light shown green as they passed. Then, a yellow signal appeard ahead. His driver prepared to stop, but the home signal was down.
  • Driver: All clear, Dave. Away we go.
  • Ringo Starr: They couldn't know the switches from the main line to a siding were frozen, and a home signal should have been set a danger, but snow had forced it down. A goods train was waited in a siding to let the Flying Kipper past, and a Driver and Fireman were drinking cocoa in the break van.
  • Guard: The Kipper is due.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the guard.
  • Fireman: Who cares?
  • Ringo Starr: Said the Fireman.
  • Fireman: This is good cocoa.
  • Ringo Starr: The driver got up.
  • Driver: Come on, fireman, back to our engine.
  • Ringo Starr: They got out just in time.
  • (Dave crashes into the break van and comes off the rails completely)
  • Ringo Starr: Dave's driver and fireman had jumped clear before the crash, but Dave lay dazed and surprised. Mickey Mouse came to see him.
  • Dave: The signal was down, Sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Dave.
  • Mickey: Cheer up, Dave. It wasn't your fault. Ice and snow cause the accident. I'm sending you to Crewe, a fine place for sick characters. They'll give you your new shape and a larger firebox. You'll feel a different character, and won't need special medicine anymore. Won't that be nice?
  • Dave: Yes, sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Dave doubtfully. Dave liked being a Crewe, but was glad to come home. A crowd of people waited to see him arrive in his new shape. He looked so splendid and strong that they gave him three cheers.
  • Dave: Peep, peep!
  • Ringo Starr: He whistled.
  • Dave: Thank you very much!
  • Ringo Starr: I'm sorry to say that a lot of little children were often late for school, because they waited to see Dave go by. They often see him pulling the express. He does it so well that Mike is jealous. But that's another story.

Whistles and Sneezes

  • Ringo Starr: Mike was cross.
  • Mike: Why should Dave have a new shape?
  • Ringo Starr: He grumbled.
  • Mike: A shape good enough for me is good enough for him. He goes gallivanting off to crewe, leaving us to do his work, and comes back saying how happy he feels. It's disgraceful. And there's another thing: Dave whistles too much. No respectable character ever whistles loudly at stations. It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it.
  • Ringo Starr: Poor Dave didn't feel happy anymore.
  • Todd: Never mind.
  • Ringo Starr: Whispered Todd.
  • Todd: I'm glad you're home again. I like your whistling.
  • Mike: Goodbye, Dave.
  • Ringo Starr: Called Mike.
  • Mike: We're glad to have you with us again. But remember what I said.
  • Ringo Starr: Later, Dave stopped at Kuzco's station.
  • Kuzco: Hello, Dave.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: You look splendid. I was pleased to hear your happy whistle yesterday.
  • Dave: Thank you, Kuzco.
  • Ringo Starr: Smiled Dave.
  • (We hear a screeching noise)
  • Dave: Shh, shh. Can you hear something?
  • Kuzco: It sounds like Mike.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: And it ought to be Mike. But Mike never whistles like that.
  • Ringo Starr: It was Mike. He came rushing down the hill of a tremendous rate. He didn't look at Dave and he didn't look at Kuzco. He screamed straight through the station and disappeared.
  • Kuzco: Well.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Kuzco.
  • Dave: It isn't wrong.
  • Ringo Starr: Chuckled Dave.
  • Dave: But we just don't do it.
  • Ringo Starr: And he told Kuzco what Mike had said. Meanwhile, Mike screeched along the line. The noise was awful. At the station, everyone held their ears. Mickey Mouse held his ears too.
  • Mickey: Take him away!
  • Ringo Starr: He bellowed.
  • Mickey: And stop that noise!
  • Ringo Starr: Mike puffed sadly away. But he wouldn't stop whistling until two fitters climbed up and knocked his whistle valve in place. That night, Mike slunked into the shed. He was glad it was empty.
  • Dave: It isn't wrong.
  • Ringo Starr: Murmured Dave to no one in particular.
  • Dave: But we just don't do it.
  • Ringo Starr: No one mentioned whistles. Next morning, Dave was enjoying himself enormously.
  • Dave: I feel so well, I feel so well.
  • Ringo Starr: He sang.
  • Coaches: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock.
  • Ringo Starr: Hummed his coaches. Then he saw some boys on a bridge.
  • Dave: Peep-peep. Hello.
  • Ringo Starr: He whistled.
  • (The boys smash the coaches' windows with stones)
  • Dave: Ohh.
  • Ringo Starr: He called. The boys didn't wave and take his number. They thought it fun to drop stones on him instead.
  • Coaches: They've broken our glass, they've broken our glass.
  • Ringo Starr: Sobbed the coaches. The passengers weren't hurt, but they were cross.
  • Passengers: Call the police!
  • Driver: No.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Leave it to Dave and me.
  • Passengers: What will you do?
  • Ringo Starr: They asked.
  • Passengers: Can you keep a secret?
  • Dave: Yes, yes.
  • Driver: Well then.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Dave is going to sneeze at those boys.
  • Ringo Starr: Lots of people were at the station just before the bridge. They wanted to see what would happen.
  • Driver: Dave has plenty of ashes.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the driver.
  • Driver: Please keep all windows shut until we haved passed the bridge. Dave's is excited as we are. Aren't you, old fellow?
  • Ringo Starr: Dave felt more stuffed up. Soon, they could see the boys. And they all had stones.
  • Driver: Are you ready, Dave?
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Driver: Sneeze hard when I tell you. Now.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Dave: Ah-choo!
  • (Dave sneezes at the boys and they were covered in ashes)
  • Driver: Well done, Dave.
  • Ringo Starr: Laughed his driver. Dave went home, very pleased with himself. He had told Mike and silly boys a lesson with a whistle and a sneeze.

Milo and The Stout Mouse

  • Ringo Starr: Milo is a 13-year-old. He has brown hair and brown eyes and doesn't look like a character at all. He takes pirates from farms and villages to the main line and is cheerful to everyone he meets. He has a princess called Jasmine who has seen better days.
  • Jasmine: It's not fair at all.
  • Ringo Starr: She grumbles remembering she used to be full and nine pirates would rattle behind her. Now there were only 3 or four for the farms and factories send their goods mostly by truck. Milo is always careful. The cars, buses and lorries often had accidents. Milo hasn't had an accident for years. But the buses are crowded and Jasmine is empty. A lady and a stout mouse stood on Milo's platform. He was of course Mickey Mouse But Milo didn't noticed yet.
  • Dipper and Mabel: Come on, father.
  • Ringo Starr: Cried the children.
  • Dipper and Mabel: Do look at this character.
  • Mickey: That's a Murphy boy, Dipper.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • Mabel: Is it a fraud?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked Mabel.
  • Milo: Whoosh!
  • Ringo Starr: Hissed Milo.
  • Dipper: Shh, shh!
  • Ringo Starr: Said her brother.
  • Dipper: You've offended him.
  • Mabel: But Murphy boys are frauds, aren't they?
  • Mickey: They are mostly, and this is a Murphy boy.
  • Dipper and Mabel: May we go in it, father, please?
  • Mickey: Stop!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse to the guard. They all scrambled into Jasmine.
  • Jasmine: Hip-hip hooray!
  • Ringo Starr: Chanted Jasmine. But Milo didn't sing.
  • Milo: Electric indeed! Electric indeed!
  • Ringo Starr: He snorted. He was very hurt.
  • Mickey: What is your name?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked Mickey.
  • Milo: Milo, sir.
  • Mickey: Thank you, Milo, for a very nice ride.
  • Milo: Thank you, sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Milo. He felt better now.
  • Milo: This gentleman...
  • Ringo Starr: He thought.
  • Milo: ...is a gentleman who knows how to speak to characters.
  • Ringo Starr: The children came every day for two weeks. Sometimes they rode with the guard, sometimes in empty pirates. On the last day of all the driver invited them into his cab. All were sorry when they had to go away and Mickey Mouse and his family thanked everyone.
  • Milo: Come again soon.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Milo.
  • Children: We will, we will.
  • Ringo Starr: Called the children. And they waved till Milo was out of sight. The months passed. Milo had few pirates and fewer passengers.
  • Driver: Our last day, Milo.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver one morning.
  • Driver: The manager says we must close tomorrow.
  • Ringo Starr: That day, everyone will have a chance of a last ride. The passengers joked and sang, but Milo and his driver wish they wouldn't.
  • Passengers: Goodbye, Milo.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the passengers afterwards.
  • Passengers: We are sorry your line was closing down.
  • Milo: So am I.
  • Ringo Starr: Sighed Milo.
  • Milo: Nobody wants me.
  • Ringo Starr: Milo thought and went unhappily to sleep. Next morning, the shed was flung open and he woke with a start to his driver waving a piece of paper at him.
  • Driver: Wake up, Milo!
  • Ringo Starr: He shouted.
  • Driver: And listen to this! It's a letter from the stout gentleman!
  • Ringo Starr: Milo listened and... But I musn't tell you anymore, or I'll shall spoil the next story.

Jake In Trouble

  • Ringo Starr: There's a line to a quarry at the end of Jake's path. It goes to some distance along the road. Jake was very careful to whistle here in case anyone was coming. Early one morning, a large policeman was sitting close to the line. Jake liked policemen. He had been a great friend of the officer who had just retired.
  • Jake: Peep! Peep!
  • Ringo Starr: He whistled.
  • Jake: Good morning.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake expected that the new officer would be friendly too. But was sorry to see that he didn't look friendly at all. He was red in the face and very cross.
  • Policeman: Disgraceful!
  • Ringo Starr: He spluttered.
  • Policeman: I didn't sleep a wink last night. It was so quiet, and now bears come whistling suddenly behind me.
  • Jake: I'm sorry, sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: I only said good morning.
  • Ringo Starr: The policeman pointed to Jake.
  • Policeman: Where's your cowcatchers?
  • Ringo Starr: He asked.
  • Jake: But I don't catch cows, sir.
  • Policeman: Don't be funny.
  • Ringo Starr: Snapped the policeman. He looked at Pooh's feet.
  • Policeman: No side plates either.
  • Ringo Starr: And he wrote in his notebook.
  • Policeman: Characters goin on public roads must have their shoes covered and a cowcatcher in front to protect people and animals from being dragged under the wheels if they stray under the line. You haven't so you are dangerous.
  • Driver: Rubbish.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake's driver.
  • Driver: We've been along here hundreds of times and never had an accident.
  • Policeman: That makes it worse.
  • Ringo Starr: The policeman answered. He wrote Regular Law Breaker in his book. Jake puffed sadly away. Mickey Mouse was having breakfast he was eating toast and marmalade. The butler came in.
  • Butler: Excuse me, sir, you're wanted on the telephone.
  • Mickey: Bother that telephone!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • (Phone chattering)
  • Mickey: I'm sorry, my dear.
  • Ringo Starr: He said to his wife.
  • Mickey: Jake is in trouble with the police and I must go at once.
  • Ringo Starr: At the station, Jake's driver told Mickey Mouse what had happened.
  • Mickey: Dangerous to the public indeed. We'll see about that.
  • Ringo Starr: Mickey Mouse spoke to the policeman. But however much he argued with him it was no good.
  • Policeman: The law is the law.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Policeman: And we can't change it.
  • Ringo Starr: Mickey Mouse felt exhausted.
  • Mickey: I'm sorry, driver.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Mickey: It's no use arguing with the policeman. We will have to make those cowcatcher things for Jake I suppose.
  • Jake: Everyone will laugh, sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: They say I look like a Murphy boy.
  • Ringo Starr: Mickey Mouse stared, then he laughed.
  • Mickey: Well done, Jake. Why didn't I think of it before. We want a Murphy boy. When I was on my holiday, I met a nice man called Milo. He takes pirates from the farms but the lorries have taken most of his work and he needs a change. He has brown hair and brown eyes. I'll write to this controller at once.
  • Ringo Starr: A few days later, Milo arrived.
  • Mickey: That's a good man.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • Mickey: I see you brought Princess Jasmine.
  • Milo: You don't mind, do you, sir?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked Milo.
  • ​Milo: The stationmaster wanted to use her as a hen house, and that would never do.
  • Mickey: No indeed.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • Mickey: We couldn't allow that.
  • Ringo Starr: Milo made the silly pirates even better than Milo did.
  • Policeman: Oi you!
  • Ringo Starr: At first, Jake was jealous, but he was so pleased when Milo rang his bell and frightened the policeman, they've been firmed friends ever since.

Dirty Objects

  • Ringo Starr: Milo and Princess Jasmine are enjoying their new job in Disneyland, but they do look old fashioned and need new paint. Randy was very rude whenever he saw them.
  • Randy: Ugh! What dirty objects!
  • Ringo Starr: He would say. At last, Milo lost patience.
  • Milo: Randy?
  • Ringo Starr: He asked.
  • Milo: Why are you red?
  • Randy: I am a splendid boy.
  • Ringo Starr: Answered Randy.
  • Randy: Ready for anything. You never see my paint dirty.
  • Milo: Oh.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Milo earnestly.
  • Milo: That's why you once needed bootlaces to be ready I suppose.
  • Ringo Starr: Ron went redder than ever and snorted off. It was such an insult to be remind how the time the bootlace have been use to mend a hole in his coaches. At the end of the line, Randy left his coaches and got out to his next train. It was a slow goods, stopping at every station to pick up and set down pirates. Randy hated slow good trains.
  • Randy: Dirty pirates from dirty sidings! Yech!
  • Ringo Starr: Starting an only a few, he picked up more and more pirates at each station till he had a long train. At first, the pirates behaved well, but Randy bumped them so crossly that they were determined to get back at him. Presently, they approached the top of Mike's Hill. Heavy good trains halt here to set the brakes. Ron had had an accident with pirates before and should have remembered this.
  • Driver: Wait, Randy, wait!
  • Ringo Starr: Said the driver, but Randy wouldn't wait. He was too busy thinking what he would say to Milo when they next met. The pirates' chance had come.
  • Pirates: Hurrah! Hurrah!
  • Ringo Starr: They laughed, and banging their buffers they pushed him down the hill.
  • Pirates: On, on, on!
  • Ringo Starr: Yelled the pirates.
  • Randy: I've got to stop, I've got to stop!
  • Ringo Starr: Groaned Randy. Through the station they thundered, disaster lay ahead. (Crash!) Something sticky splashed all over Randy. He had run into two tar wagons, and was black from smokebox to cab. He was more dirty than hurt, but the tar wagons and some pirates were all to pieces. Milo and Todd were sent to help and came as quickly as they could.
  • Milo: Look here, Todd!
  • Ringo Starr: Explained Milo.
  • Milo: Whatever is that dirty object?
  • Todd: That's Randy, didn't you know?
  • Milo: It's Randy's shape.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Milo.
  • Milo: But Randy is a splendid boy and you'll never see his paint dirty.
  • Ringo Starr: Randy pretended he hadn't heard. Milo and Todd cleared away the unhurt pirates and help Randy home. Mickey Mouse met them.
  • Mickey: Well done, Todd and Milo.
  • Ringo Starr: He turned to Randy.
  • Mickey: Fancy letting your pirates run away. I am surprised. You're not fit to be seen. You must be cleaned at once. Milo shall have a new coat of paint.
  • Milo: Please sir, can Jasmine have one too?
  • Ringo Starr: Said Milo.
  • Mickey: Certainly, Milo.
  • ​Milo: Oh thank you, sir. She will pleased.
  • Ringo Starr: All Randy could do is watched Milo as he ran off happily with the news.

Off The Road

  • Ringo Starr: Mike was resting in a siding. Sometimes he thought...
  • Mike: It's really tiring to be such a large and splendid character, one does have to keep up appearance is so.
  • Dave: Peep peep peep peep! Hello, fat face!
  • Ringo Starr: Whistled Dave.
  • Mike: What cheek!
  • Ringo Starr: Spluttered Mike.
  • Mike: That Dave is too big for his feet. Fancy speaking to me like that. Me who has never had an accident.
  • Todd: Aren't jammed whistles and burst safety valves accidents?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked Todd innocently.
  • Mike: No indeed. High spirits. Might happen to any character. But to come off the path like Dave did. Well, I ask you. Is that right? Is it decent?
  • Ringo Starr: Then it was Dave's turn to take the express. Mike watch him getting ready.
  • Mike: Be careful, Dave. You're not pulling the flying kipper now. Mind you keep on the rails today.
  • Ringo Starr: Dave went off in a huff, and Mike yawned and went to sleep. But not for long.
  • Driver: Wake up, Mike.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Driver: A special train's coming and we're to pull it.
  • Mike: Is it coaches or pirates?
  • Driver: Pirates?
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Mike: Pirates!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: Puh.
  • Ringo Starr: Mike's fire was slow to start, so Kuzco had to push Mike to the turntable to get him facing the right way.
  • Mike: I won't go, I won't go!
  • Ringo Starr: Grumbled Mike.
  • Kuzco: Don't be silly, don't be silly.
  • Ringo Starr: Puffed Kuzco. At last, Mike was on the turntable. The movement had shaken his fire. It was now burning nicely and making steam. Mike was cross and didn't care what he did. He waited till the table was halfway round.
  • Mike: I'll show them, I'll show them.
  • Ringo Starr: He hissed. He moved slowly forward to jam the table, but he couldn't stop himself and slithered into the ditch.
  • Mike: Oosh!
  • Ringo Starr: He hissed.
  • Mike: Get me out, get me out!
  • Driver: Not a hope.
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver and fireman.
  • Fireman: You're stuck, you silly great character. Don't you understand that?
  • Ringo Starr: They telephoned Mickey Mouse.
  • Mickey: So Mike didn't want to take the special train and ran into a ditch? What's that you say? The special's waiting? Tell Kuzco to take it please. And Mike? Oh, leave him where his is. We haven't time to bother with him now.
  • Ringo Starr: On the other side of the ditch, some little boys were chattering.
  • Boy 1: Coo, doesn't he look silly?
  • Boy 2: They'll never get him out.
  • Ringo Starr: They began to sing.
  • Boys: Silly old Mike fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, silly old Mike fell in a ditch all in the Monday morning.
  • Ringo Starr: Mike layed in the ditch all day.
  • Mike: Oh, dear.
  • Ringo Starr: He thought.
  • Mike: I shall never get out.
  • Ringo Starr: But that evening, they lifted Mike and made a rope of sleepers under his feet to keep him from the mud. Strong ropes were fastened to his back end, and Randy and Dave pulling hard, managed to bring him to safety. Late that night, Mike crawled home, a sadder and wiser character.

Down The Mine

  • Ringo Starr: One day, Jake was at the junction when Mike shuffled in with some pirates.
  • Jake: Phew!
  • Ringo Starr: Remarked Jake.
  • JAKE: What a funny smell. Can you smell a smell?
  • Janna: I can't smell a smell.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Janna.
  • Jake: A funny musty sort of smell.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Mike: No one noticed until you did.
  • Ringo Starr: Grumbled Mike.
  • Mike: It must be yours.
  • Ringo Starr: Not long ago, he had fallen into a dirty ditch. Jake enjoyed teasing him about it.
  • Jake: Janna, Hope, do you know what I think it is? It's ditchwater.
  • Ringo Starr: Before Mike could answer, Jake puffed away. Janna and Hope could hardly believe their ears.
  • Janna: He's dreadfully rude I feel quite ashamed.
  • Hope: I feel quite ashamed he's dreadfully rude.
  • Ringo Starr: And to Jake they said.
  • Janna and Hope: You musn't be rude, you make us ashamed.
  • Ringo Starr: But Jake didn't care a bit.
  • Jake: That was funny, that was funny.
  • Ringo Starr: He chuckled. He felt very pleased with himself. Janna and Hope were deeply shocked. They have great respect for Mike Chilton. Jake left the coaches at the station and went off to a mine for some pirates. Long ago, miners digging there have made tunnels under the ground. Their rooves are strong enough to hold up pirates but not the weight of characters. A large notice warns them not to enter the area: Danger! Characters must not pass this board.
  • Jake: Silly old board.
  • Ringo Starr: Thought Jake. He had often tried to pass it but had never suceeded. But this morning he had made a plan. The fireman went to throw the points.
  • Jake: Now for my plan!
  • Ringo Starr: Huffed Jake. Bumping the pirates fiercely he jerked his driver off the footplate and followed them into the siding.
  • Driver: Come back!
  • Ringo Starr: Yelled his driver.
  • (A loud splash is heard as Jake falls to the mine)
  • Jake: Fire and smoke!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: I'm sunk.
  • Ringo Starr: And he was.
  • Jake: Oh, dear.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Jake: I am a silly character.
  • Mickey: And a very naughty one, too. I saw you!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • Jake: Please let me out. I won't be naughty again.
  • Mickey: I'm not sure. We can't lift you out with the cranes. The ground's not firm enough. Hmm, let me see. I wonder if Mike could pull you out.
  • Jake: Yes sir.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake, but he didn't want to meet Mike just yet.
  • Mike: Down the mine is he? Ha, ha, ha!
  • Ringo Starr: Laughed Mike.
  • Mike: What a joke! Boop boop! Little Jake, we'll have your out in a couple of puffs.
  • Ringo Starr: Strong cables were fastened between the two characters.
  • Mickey: Are you ready? Heave!
  • Ringo Starr: It was a lot harden than they all thought. But at last Jake was free.
  • Jake: I'm sorry I was cheeky.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Mike: That's all right, Jake. You made me laugh.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Mike.
  • Mike: I'm in disgrace.
  • Jake: So am I.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Mike: Why so you are Jake. Shall we form an alliance? You help me and I help you.
  • Jake: Right you are.
  • Ringo Starr: Agreed Jake.
  • Mike: Good. That's settled.
  • Ringo Starr: Rumbled Mike. And buffer to buffer the allies puffed home.

Jake's Christmas Party

  • Ringo Starr: It was Christmas in Disneyland. All the characters were working hard. Jake and Milo were busy carrying people and parcels up and down the branch line. Everyone was happy. Only the girls Janna and Hope were complaining.
  • Janna and Hope: It's always the same before Christmas.
  • Ringo Starr: They groaned.
  • Janna and Hope: We feel so full, we feel so full.
  • Jake: Oh, come on!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: Where's your festive spirit? Christmas day is almost here.
  • Ringo Starr: By the side of the track was a little cottage with a familiar figure waving to them.
  • Jake: It's Mary Poppins!
  • Ringo Starr: Whistled Jake.
  • Jake: Peep, peep! Happy Christmas!
  • Ringo Starr: Jake always felt better for seeing her.
  • Jake: Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without Mary Poppins.
  • Ringo Starr: When work was over, Jake went to see the other characters. All their coats had been polished.
  • Mike: Huh!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mike.
  • Mike: Just look at us. Your driver will have to work fast to get you as smart as us.
  • Jake: Never mind that.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Jake.
  • Jake: I've something important to say. Do you realize it's been a whole year since Mary Poppins saved us from a nasty accident. You remember when she was ill in bed and...
  • Kuzco: Yes of course.
  • Ringo Starr: Interrupted Kuzco.
  • Kuzco: You told us how she waved her red dressing gown out of her window to warn you about a landslide ahead.
  • Todd: And you and Milo gave her presents.
  • Ringo Starr: Todd joined in.
  • Todd: And Mickey Mouse sent her to Bournemouth to get better.
  • Dave: But...
  • Ringo Starr: Said Randy and Dave together.
  • Dave: The rest of us have never thanked her properly.
  • Jake: Exactly.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: So now I think we should all give her a special Christmas party.
  • Ringo Starr: Everyone was getting very excited. The drivers felt sure that Mickey Mouse will agree as indeed he did. The characters were all busy making plans, when silence fell. Mickey Mouse had bad news.
  • Mickey: The weather's changed badly. Mary Poppins is snowed up. Milo says he'll help to rescue her. You must help too, Jake. There's no party unless you do.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake hated snow, but he said bravely.
  • Jake: I'll try, sir. We must rescue her, we must.
  • Mickey: There's a good boy. You and Kuzco will manage splendidly.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake charged the snowdrifts fiercely. Sometimes he swept them aside, sometimes they stuck fast and the men had to loosen them. But at the cutting near the cottage, they could go no further.
  • Fireman: Look at that!
  • Ringo Starr: Exclaimed Jake's fireman.
  • Jake: Peep, peep, peep! Here we are.
  • Ringo Starr: Whistled Jake. An answering wave came from an upstairs window. Then they heard a familiar sound.
  • Jake: That's Sebastian.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Jake.
  • Jake: He's come to help too.
  • Ringo Starr: Sure enough, Sebastian had a snowplough and was working hard to clear a patch to the railroad line to safety. At long last, the rescue was complete. Todd took the tired workmen home. Sebastian said goodbye to Mary Poppins and promised to take care of her cottage as he watched them all set off. The characters made good time. No more snow had fallen, but the yard was dark. Jake's heart sank. Suddenly, all the lights went on. What a marvelous site awaited Mary Poppins.
  • Mickey: Well done!
  • Ringo Starr: Said Mickey Mouse.
  • Mickey: I'm really proud of you all.
  • Ringo Starr: Mary Poppins especially thanked the smaller characters.
  • Mary: Jake and Milo are old friends.
  • Ringo Starr: She said.
  • Mary: And now Todd, you are my friend too.
  • Ringo Starr: Todd was very pleased.
  • Todd: Three cheers for Mary Poppins!
  • Ringo Starr: He called.
  • Todd: Peep, peep, peep!
  • Ringo Starr: They all whistled.
  • Characters: (singing) We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
  • Ringo Starr: Jake Long and his friends thought it was the best Christmas ever and Mary Poppins could think of nowhere she would rather live than here with them on Disneyland.

See Also

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