John Joseph Swartzwelder Jr. (born November 16 1950) is an American Comedy Writer and Novelist, best known for his work on the Animated Television Shows, The Simpsons, The Three Stooges and Madeline, as well as a number of Novels.
Biography[]
Swartzwelder attended High School in Renton, Washington. Swartzwelder started out with a career in advertising, after which he began writing for Saturday Night Live and Sunday Morning Live, where he met George Meyer and D.B. Sweeney. After Meyer quit Saturday Night Live and created the Magazine Army Man he recruited Swartzwelder to help him write it. Meyer noted on Army Man: "The only rule was that the stuff had to be funn and pretty short. To me, the quintessential Army Man Joke was one of John Swartzwelder's: "They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of Coffee that tastes good? It's a horrfying idea juxtaposed with something really banal---and yet there's a kind of logic to it. It's illuminating because it's kind of how Americans see things: Life's a big jumble, but somehow it leads to something i can consume. I love that. But of course you realize, this means war." In 1988, Sam Simon, a reader of Army Man, recruited both Swartzwelder and Meyer to write for a new Fox Animated Sitcom he was Executive Producing; The Simpsons.
By 1994, with the Show's Sixth Season, Swartzwelder was granted a special dispensation and allowed to no longer attend rewrite sussions with the rest of the staff, instead being allowed to send drafts of his scripts in from home so other writers could revise them as they saw fit. This is a direct result of Swartzwelder working on his first Children's Book, Pistel Pete. His longtime collaborators on The Simpsons, Al Jean and Mike Reiss, describe Swartzwelder as a huge fan of the Preston Sturges Films and loves "anything old timey American." This vaguely defined aesthetic presents itself in many of the Episode he has written in the form of wandering Hobos, Prohibition-era Speakeasies, Carnies, 19th-century Basebal Players, aging Western Movie Stars, Musical Comedies, Slapstick Car Chases and Sicilian Gangsters.
According to Matt Groening, Swartzwelder used to write Simpsons Episodes while sitting in a Booth at a Coffee Shop "drinking a cup of Coffee and sometimes Soft Drinks and eating Sandwiches, Fries and Donuts once a week". He never wanted to smoke, drink Alcohol, Gambled, deal with Drugs and use Profanity. When California passed an Anti-smoking law, Swartzwelder is also involved in that law and starts writing an Episode about Homer, Lenny, Carl, Professor Frink, Flanders, Smithers, Grimey, Dr. Hibbert, Krusty, Skinner, Chalmers, Moe, the newly reformed Snake, Kirk, Bumblebee Man, Otto, Dr. Nick, George Meyer, Jon Vitti, Matt Warburton, Marc Wilmore, Mark Hamill, Stephen Hawking and Matt Groening wanting to make Springfield a Smoke free place for everyone, entitled "Smoke on the Stooges". He is also reported to be a Tony Award-winning Playwright as well as a Gun Rights Activitist and he has been describe as an "Environmentalist". David X. Cohen once related a Story of Swartzwelder, Meyer, Vitti and Simon going to the Rain Forest to see many exotic Animals and want to protect the Earth.
Swartzwelder is one of the Writers of Madeline and The Simpsons who has a strong interest in the Envrionment and agreed to join the Conservation International.
Besides writing for Television, Swartzwelder also wrote Feature Films including The Simpsons Movie, Madeline: Lost in Portugal, The Baby-Sitters Club, How to get rich writing Cartoons, Art of Animation for Kids and The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn.
Since 2004, he has taken up writing Absurdist Fiction, beginning with the 2004 publication of Science-Fiction Detective Story The Time Machine Did It starring Private Investigator Frank Burly.
Reclusiveness[]
During the first two Season of The Simpsons, Swartzwelder was a notorious recluse and rarely made public appearances.
He did participated every Audio Commentaries on every Madeline, The Three Stooges and Simpsons DVD and VHS Sets.
References on The Simpsons and Madeline[]
Swartzwelder has been animated in the background of Episodes of The Simpsons and Madeline.
The Simpsons[]
- In "The Day the Violence Died", Swartzwelder is one of the "surprise witnesses" called by Lionel Hutz while Bart goes to the Comic Book Guy's Store to get the framed Itchy drawing.
- In "Bart the Fink", he is one of the attendees at Krusty's fake Funeral with Kermit the Frog on his arm.
- In "Home Sweet Homediddily-Dum-Doodily", his likeness appears on an equestrian statue outside the County Courthouse.
- In "Something for Everyone", he can be seen as one of the clients watching the Show in the Vaudeville Theatre.
- In "Bart After Dark", he can be seen as one of the clients watching A Trip to the Moon at the Movie House.
- In "The Front", the Itchy and Scratchy Writers are all caricatures of The Simpsons writing team, one of whom is Swartzwelder.
- In "Hurricane Neddy", he can be seen poking his head out of the door to his padded cell inside the Calmwood Mental Hospital. Later in the Episode, a sign reading "Free John Swartzwelder" can be seen during the Fanfare of Ned Flanders' release from the same Hospital behind Barney Gumble.
- In "A Fish Called Selman", a picture of him can be seen among the first group of celebrities on the wall of the Restaurant Troy McClure takes Selma to.
- In "Great Scott, it's Doomsday", he can be seen on the Blimp behind Krusty before it crashes.
- In "22 Short Films About Springfield", he can be seen on the Streets with Matt Groening and Shelley Zellman.
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Madeline[]
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The Simpsons Episodes by Swartzwelder[]
- "Great Greedy Guts" (along with Tim Conway, Don Knotts and Shelley Zellman)
- "The Call of the Simpsons"
- "Life on the Fast Lane" (along with Harvey Fierstein and Rowby Goren)
- "The Crepes of Wrath" (along with George Meyer, Sam Simon and Jon Vitti)
- "Treehouse of Horror" ("Bad Dream House" Segment, along with Jeff Martin)
- "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish" (along with Sam Simon and Rowby Goren)
- "Itchy & Scratchy & Quimby" (along with Rowby Goren)
- "Bart Gets Hit by a Car"
- "The War of the Simpsons" (along with Sam Simon and Shelley Zellman)
- "Bart the Murderer"
- "Treehouse of Horror II" (Contributor)
- "Homer at the Bat"
- "Dog of Death"
- "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?" (along with Jeff Martin)
- "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie"
- "Brother from the same Planet" (along with George Meyer, Sam Simon and Jon Vitti)
- "Whacking Day" (Main Plot only, along with Matt Groening; Sub Plot by Rowby Goren and Shelley Zellman)
- "Krusty Gets Kancelled"
- "Rosebud"
- "All in my life"
- "Homer the Vigilante" (along with George Meyer)
- "Bart Gets Famous" (along with Conan O'Brien)
- "Bart Gets an Elephant" (along with Harvey Fierstein)
- "The Sarcophagus Pearl"
- "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"
- "Itchy and Scratchy Land"
- "Homer the Great"
- "Bart's Comet"
- "Homie the Clown"
- "The Damaged Idol" (Story with Al Jean and Mike Reiss; Teleplay by Joshua Sternin and Jeffery Ventimilia)
- "Radioactive Man"
- "Treehouse of Horror VI" ("Attack of the 50-Foot Eyesores" Segment, along with Ian Maxtone-Graham)
- "Bart the Fink" (Teleplay, Story by Bob Kushell)
- "Homer the Smithers"
- "The Day the Violence Died"
- "Why You Little!" (along with Rowby Goren, Dan Greaney and Shelley Zellman)
- "You Only Move Twice" (along with Rowby Goren)
- "Rastapopolous and Muller vs. the Eighteenth Amendment"
- "The Old Man and the Lisa"
- "Coca-Homer"
- "Homer's Rival"
- "The Catridge Family"
- "Bart Carny"
- "King of the Hill"
- "The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace"
- "Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"
- "Smoke on the Stooges"
- "Maximum Homerdrive" (along with George Meyer and Jon Vitti)
- "Monty Can't Buy Me Love"
- "Homer to the Max" (along with David Mirkin)
- "Take My Wife, Sleaze"
- "The Mansion Family"
- "Kill the Alligator and Run" (along with Conan O'Brien)
- "Behind the Laughter" (Contributor)
- "A Tale of Two Springfields"
- "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes" (along with Steve O'Donnell)
- "HOMR" (along with Richard Appel, Steve O'Donnell, Al Jean, Josh Lieb, Bill Oakley, Mike Reiss, Judy Rothman Rofe, Joshua Sternin, Jeffery Ventimilia, Josh Weinstein, Steve Young and Shelley Zellman)
- "Sleeping with the Detectives" (along with Jeff Martin)
- "Simpson Safari"
- "Trilogy of Error" ("Homer's Day")
- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
- "The Latest Gun in the West"
- "I Am Furious Yellow"
- "The Sweetest Apu" (along with David Mirkin)
- "The Frying Game"
- "No Refunds"
- "Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington"
- "Uh oh, Spaghetti Os" (along with Jim Carrey and Kevin Nealon)
- "Dude, Where's My Ranch" (along with Ian Maxtone-Graham)
- "Treehouse of Horror XIV" ("Stop the World, I Want to Goof Off" Segment)
- "The San Theodoros Affair" (along with Ned Goldreyer)
- "The Regina Monologues"
- "Tis the Fifteenth Season" (Story with Michael Price; Teleplay by Ludwig Bemelmans)
- "The Garbage Man Can"
- "Mercy! My Hat!"
- "Margical History Tour" ("Henry VIII" Segment)
- "Treehouse of Horror XV" ("The Ned Zone" Segment, along with Judy Rothman Rofe)
- "Hungry, Hungry Lisa" (along with Jon Vitti)
- "Gooble, Gobble, One of us" (along with Judy Rothman Rofe)
- "Treehouse of Horror XVI" ("Survival of the Fattest" Segment, along with David X. Cohen)
- "See Captain Haddock Run" (along with Stephanie Gillis and Harvey Fierstein)
- "Simpsons Christmas Stories" ("The First Do'h-EI" Segment)
- "The Castafiore Jewels"
- "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story" (Carl's Story)
- "Marge and Homer join the Vaudville Revue" (along with Joel H. Cohen, Al Jean, Mike Reiss and Shelley Zellman)
- "Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em" (along with George Meyer, Jon Vitti and Matt Warburton)
- "Treehouse of Horror XVII" ("The Day the Earth Looked Stupid" Segment)
- "Ice Cream of Margie and Homie (with Light Blue and Brown Hair) (along with Conan O'Brien, Carolyn Omine and Shelley Zellman)
- "Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times" ("Revenge of the Geeks" Segment, along with Greg Daniels)
- "Homerazzi" (along with J. Stewart Burns)
- "Marge and Homer Gamers"
- "We Built This City on Rock and Roll"
- "Treehouse of Horror XVIII" ("Mr. & Mrs. Simpson" Segment, along with Michael Jeter)
- "Worst Award Show Ever"
- "Love, Springfieldian Style" ("Shady and the Vamp" Segment)
- "Double, Double, Boy in Trouble" (along with Bill Odenkirk and Mike Reiss)
- "Treehouse of Horror XIX" ("Untiteld Robot Parody" Segment, along with Ian Maxtone-Graham)
- "Khemedite and Boomsticks" (along with Ned Goldreyer, Rowby Goren and Marc Wilmore)
- "Screams of the Humiliated" (along with Shelley Zellman)
- "Bad Guys" (along with Marc Wilmore)
- "Treehouse of Horror XX" ("There's No Business Like Moe Business" Segment, along with Jeff Martin)
- "It was the Best of Times, it was the Blurst of Times" (along with Sam Simon)
- "Transylvania Mania"
- "Homer Trip"
- "Treehouse of Horror XXI" ("War and Pieces" Segment)
- "The Fight Before Christmas" ("The Fluppets" Segment, along with Dan McGrath)
- "Love is a Many Strangled Thing" (along with Al Jean, Bill Odenkirk and Mike Reiss)
- "Something for Everyone"
- "The Great Simpsina" (Teleplay; Story by Matt Warburton and Shelley Zellman)
- "Great Scott"
- "Treehouse of Horror XXII" (The Diving Bell and the Butterball" Segment, along with Bill Canterbury)
- "Do i get Hurt?"
- "Let go of me you Fool"
Madeline Episode by Swartzwelder[]
- "Madeline and Laurel and Hardy (along with George Meyer)
- "Madeline at Japan"
- "Madeline and the Old Violin" (along with Betty G. Birney and George Meyer)
- "Madeline in New York" (along with Susan Amerikaner, Richard Appel, Howard Ashman, Betty G. Birney, James L. Brooks, Kent Butterworth, Betty Comden, Jennifer Crittenden, Pete Doctor, Diana Fresco, Judy Freudberg, Tony Geiss, Ned Goldreyer, Rowby Goren, Dan Greaney, Adolph Green, Matt Groening, Jim Henson, Richard Hunt, Peter Jackson, Al Jean, William Joyce, Jerry Juhl, Jay Kogen, John Lasseter, George Lucas, Jeff Martin, George Meyer, Martha Moran, Frank Mula, Jerry Nelson, Bill Oakley, Frank Oz, Joe Ranft, Mike Reiss, Judy Rothman Rofe, Sandra Ryan, Richard Sakai, Mike Scully, Bruce Shelly, Katie Shelly, Sam Simon, Janice Sonski, Andrew Stanton, David M. Stern, D.B. Sweeney, Jon Vitti, Josh Weinstein, Steve Whitmire, Marc Wilmore, Wallace Wolodarsky and Shelley Zellman)
- "Madeline and the Gold Rush"
- "Madeline and the Treasure Hunt" (along with Betty G. Birney)
- "Madeline in India" (along with George Meyer)
- "Madeline and the Loch Ness Monster"
- "Madeline's Holiday with Mr. Grump" (along with Al Jean, George Meyer, Stan Phillips, Mike Reiss, Judy Rothman Rofe, D.B. Sweeney and Jon Vitti)
- "Madeline and the Greeks"
- "Madeline on Safari" (Teleplay; Story by Susan Amerikaner and Judy Rothman Rofe)
- "Madeline's Accident" (along with James L. Brooks and Sam Simon)
- "Madeline in the Ice Cave"
- "Madeline and Goliath"
- "Madeline the Icicle Musician"
- "Madeline goes to the Desert"
- "Madeline and the Bunyip" (along with George Meyer and Jon Vitti)
- "Madeline at the Wharf"
- "Madeline at the Scrapyard" (along with Betty G. Birney, Jeff Martin and Martha Moran)
- "Madeline's Tales of France" (along with George Meyer, Mike Reiss, Matt Selman and Jon Vitti)
- "Madeline's St. Patrick's Day"
- "Madeline's Fears of Death"
- "Madeline and the White Lie" (Teleplay with Diana Fresco and Shelley Zellman; Story by Pete Doctor and Jon Vitti; additional materials by George Meyer, Matt Warburton and Jon Vitti)
- "Madeline at the Pacific Ocean"
- "Madeline in Oklahoma"
- "Madeline at Grand Central" (Teleplay; Story by D.B. Sweeney)
- "Madeline and Ben Turpin"
- "Madeline and the Tea Party" (along with Susan Amerikaner, Tim Conway, Don Knotts and Jeff Martin)
- "Madeline and the Carribean"
- "Madeline at Penn Station"
- "Madeline gets in trouble" (along with George Meyer and Jon Vitti)
- "Madeline and the Squrriels" (Story; Teleplay by Al Jean and Mike Reiss)
- "Madeline and the Seven Heavenly Virtues"
- "Madeline's Halloween Stories" (Something Wicked this way comes Segment, along with Jon Vitti)
- "Madeline and the Ghosts"
- "Madeline and Pistol Pete"
- "Madeline in Theatre" (along with Jeff Martin, George Meyer, Frank Mula, Al Jean, Conan O'Brien, Mike Reiss and Jon Vitti)
- "Madeline and the Bad Weather"
- "Madeline's Stories of Treasure" (Contributor)
- "Madeline and the Abomimable Snowman"
- "Madeline's Valentine" (Story with Martha Moran; Teleplay by George Meyer)
- "Madeline and the Perfume Factory" (Story with Shelley Zellman; Teleplay by David M. Stern)
- "Madeline and the Band"
- "Madeline and the True Friends"
- "Madeline in Vaudeville"
- "Madeline's Comedy Revue" (Contributor)
- "Madeline protects the Innocent"
- "Madeline at the North Pole" (Story with Betty G. Birney, George Meyer, Judy Rothman Rofe and Jon Vitti; Teleplay by Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein)
- "Madeline and Santa" (Story with Betty G. Birney, George Meyer, Judy Rothman Rofe and Jon Vitti; Teleplay by Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein)
- "Madeline and the Refugees"
- "Madeline's Spooky Adventures and Tales" (Contributor)
- "Madeline goes on a Cruise"
- "Madeline in Nature" (along with George Meyer, Matt Selman and D.B. Sweeney)
- "Madeline's Double Trouble" (along with Steve Tompkins and David X. Cohen)
- "Madeline and the Buffoons"
- "Madeline and the Toads"
- "Madeline and the Stooges" (Sub Plot only, with George Meyer, Main Plot by Dan Greaney)
- "Madeline and the Instruments" (along with Phil Harnage, Carolyn Omine and Shelley Zellman)
- "Madeline goes to the Opera" (along with Jon Vitti)
- "Madeline and the Thinker" (along with Al Jean, Jeff Martin, George Meyer, Mike Reiss, Sam Simon and Jon Vitti)
- "Madeline and Andy Clyde" (along with Al Jean and George Meyer)
- "Madeline at Soviet Union"
- "Madeline at Vischnu"
- "Madeline and the Stonecutters"
- "Madeline at 42nd Street"
- "Madeline and the Robe"
- "Madeline in Syldavia" (Teleplay with Marc Wilmore; Story by Greg Daniels and Conan O'Brien)
- "Madeline goes from Rags to Riches" (along with Greg Daniels, Tim Long, George Meyer, David Mirkin, Conan O'Brien, Matt Selman and Mike Scully)
- "Madeline and the Meekers (along with David M. Stern)
Bibliography[]
- The Time Machine Did It (2004)
- Double Wonderful (2005)
- How I Conquered Your Planet (2006)
- The Exploding Detective (2007)
- Dead Men Scare Me Stupid (2008)
- Earth vs. Everybody (2009)
- The Last Detective Alive (2010)
- The Fifty Foot Detective (2011)