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January 11 2007
Yesterday, Ben Kweskin, master propagandist, decided to google himself. He came with some shocking results, such as a mysterious "Wikipedia" that claimed he had died multiple times.
This "Wikipedia", in reality a satirical newspaper called the "UnCorral", claimed that he had died some interesting deaths, such as shot by Jacob Didier in a school shooting, shot by US Military action as a Councilman of Egypt, and other interesting deaths.
Mr. Kweskin begged the UnCorral not to be killed again, in the article "GLOBE WARMS, KWESKIN SUPPORTERS DENY". This wish was granted by UnCorral writing staff.
Except Chris Zhang, who has already successfully lasered his ass under the guise of "giving him an article from TIME magazine about Vladimir Putin"