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Kids' WB!, FOX Kids, The FOX Box and 4KidsTV/It's Only Snow & Other Stories is a US Parody spoof featuring audio from It's Only Snow & Other Stories (the US version of The Chocolate Crunch & Other Stories) and clips from Saturday Morning shows.

Cast

  • Ash Ketchum (from Pokemon) as Thomas
  • Kevin Keene (from Captain N: The Game Master) as Edward
  • Tai Kamiya (from Digimon) as Henry
  • Scott Summers (from X-Men: Evolution) as Gordon
  • Al Smith (from Hoop-a-Joop) as James
  • Mushra (from Shinzo) as Percy
  • Puss In Boots (from The Adventures of Puss In Boots) as Toby
  • Freakazoid (from Freakazoid) as Terence
  • Sonic The Hedgehog (from Sonic X) as Bertie
  • Bugs Bunny (from The Looney Tunes Show) as Sir Topham Hatt
  • Virgil Hawkins (from Static Shock) as Duck
  • Bumpty The Penguin and Raphael The Raven (from Tetris Attack) as Bill and Ben
  • Ken of the PMC (from Wish Upon A Star Shape and Crazy As A Lunatone) as Diesel
  • Falkner (from Fighting Flyer With Fire) as Harold
  • Lily Parker (from Glitter Force) as Mavis
  • Rikochet (from Mucha Lucha) as Skarloey
  • Omi (from Xiaolin Showdown) as Rheneas
  • Loud Kiddington (form Histeria!) as Peter Sam
  • Casey Matthews (from Phantom Investigators) as Rusty
  • Buzz O! (from Generation O!) as Duncan
  • King Bowser Koopa (from Mario) as Cranky
  • Morton "Big Mouth" Koopa Jr. and Roy "Bully" Koopa (from The Adventures of The Koopalings) as 'Arry and Bert
  • Malinda Doe (from Marilyn) as Elizabeth
  • Scooby-Doo (from Scooby-Doo) as Jack
  • Diddy Kong (from Donkey Kong Country) as Alfie
  • Larry "Cheatsy" Koopa (from The Adventures of The Koopalings) as Max
  • Streaky (from Krypto The Superdog) as Kelly
  • Captain Simian (from Captain Simian and The Space Monkeys) as Oliver
  • Knuckles The Echidna (from Sonic X) as Byron
  • Candy (from Glitter Force) as Isabella
  • Poochy (from Tetris Attack) as Ned
  • Lt. Felina Feral (from SWAT Kats) as Miss Jenny
  • Commander Ulysses Feral (from SWAT Kats) as The Foreman

Script

Mushra's Chocolate Crunch

  • Alec Baldwin: Bugs Bunny's characters love being shiny and clean. It makes them feel cheerful as they walk across the land of Cartoons. Mushra often has the dirtiest work to do, but he likes to be clean as well as any other character, so showers are important to Mushra. But Bugs Bunny had bad news.
  • Bugs: Due to a water shortage...
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Bugs: ...No character shall have more than one washdown a day. Usefulness before cleanliness.
  • Alec Baldwin: He added and left. Mushra was upset.
  • Mushra: I get dirty.
  • Alec Baldwin: He complained.
  • Mushra: I need washdowns. Scott only does it to feel important.
  • Scott: I am important.
  • Alec Baldwin: Scott sniffed.
  • Scott: I'm an express character.
  • Al: You're a pouty puffer, Mushra.
  • Alec Baldwin: Teased Al.
  • Mushra: No, I'm not.
  • Alec Baldwin: Wheeshed Mushra and he chuffed away. Mushra was loading Beedrill at the docks. He was trying extra hard to stay clean. But the Beedrill were being naughty. As Mushra pushed them under the coal chute, they sang out.
  • Beedrill: On! On! On!
  • Alec Baldwin: They cried. Mushra found himself under the chute and coal dust flew everywhere.
  • Mushra: Oh, no. (coughs)
  • Alec Baldwin: Coughed Mushra.
  • Mushra: I'm filthy.
  • Alec Baldwin: Mushra felt awful, but he knew he had to carry on. On the way to Callan Station, the Beedrill teased Mushra even more.
  • Beedrill: Clickety clack, don't look back, dirty Mushra's on our track!
  • Mushra: Be quiet!
  • Alec Baldwin: Mushra snapped. When Mushra arrived at Callan Station he was very upset.
  • Mushra: From now on I am only doing work where I wont get dirty.
  • Alec Baldwin: Falkner the gym leader was at Callan station picking up medical supplies.
  • Falkner: Hello, Mushra.
  • Alec Baldwin: He called. And he took off blowing cinders and ashes everywhere.
  • Mushra: Not again!
  • Alec Baldwin: Cried Mushra.
  • Mushra: I want a washdown.
  • Driver: Usefulness before cleanliness.
  • Alec Baldwin: Reminded his driver.
  • Mushra: I want to be useful where I can't get dirty.
  • Alec Baldwin: Mushra huffed.
  • Driver: There's a load of sugar going to the chocolate factory.
  • Alec Baldwin: His driver said.
  • Driver: We can take the sugar cars.
  • Mushra: Sugar.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Mushra.
  • Mushra: That's nice and clean.
  • Alec Baldwin: Mushra was pleased. Mushra didn't know that earlier a leaky Beedrill had spilled oil on the track. When he approached the chocolate factory, his driver applied the brakes. But Alex's feet just skidded on the oily rails.
  • Mushra: Oh, no!
  • Alec Baldwin: Hooted Mushra.
  • (Mushra crashes into the factory and six windows splat themselves as he pops out)
  • Mushra: Yuck!
  • Alec Baldwin: He groaned.
  • Mushra: I've never been this dirty.
  • Alec Baldwin: He was covered from funnel to firebox in sticky gooey chocolate. Back at the sheds, everyone thought it was very funny.
  • Ash: You look good enough to eat.
  • Alec Baldwin: Ash hooted.
  • Al: Bon-bon Mushra.
  • Alec Baldwin: Teased Al.
  • Tai: Choc-ice on wheels.
  • Alec Baldwin: Chipped in Tai.
  • Scott: Disgraceful.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Scott pompously.
  • Bugs: Ahem.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said a stern sounding voice. It was Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: You had had a trying day, Mushra.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Mushra: Yes, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Replied Mushra from beneath the chocolate.
  • Bugs: But you showed us all that usefulness does come before cleanliness. So...
  • Alec Baldwin: He added.
  • Bugs: You shall have your washdown.
  • Mushra: Oh, sir.
  • Bugs: And a new coat of paint.
  • Alec Baldwin: Mushra just beamed.

Scooby-Doo Jumps In

  • Alec Baldwin: It was a tingly spring morning on the land of Cartoons. Ash was excited. Bugs Bunny had sent him to pick up a special from Felina Feral.
  • Lt. Feral: Spot on, Ash!
  • Alec Baldwin: Lt. Feral said.
  • Lt. Feral: You'd make a mother proud!
  • Ash: Thanks, Lt. Feral.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Ash: Is this my special?
  • Lt. Feral: Very special.
  • Alec Baldwin: She answered.
  • Scooby: I'm Scooby-Doo.
  • Alec Baldwin: He whirred proudly.
  • Scooby: I can load and unload and carry lots of things.
  • Ash: I can haul and shunt.
  • Alec Baldwin: Boasted Ash.
  • Lt. Feral: And I can get you two chatterboxes off to the quarry.
  • Alec Baldwin: Laughed Lt. Feral.
  • Ash: Is this your first job at the quarry?
  • Alec Baldwin: Called Ash.
  • Scooby: It's my first job on the island!
  • Alec Baldwin: Scooby called back.
  • Ash: Look out for Larry.
  • Alec Baldwin: Ash added.
  • Ash: He's trouble.
  • Alec Baldwin: Soon, Ash delivered Scooby to the quarry. All the machines were busy preparing the site for new railway tracks. Scooby couldn't wait to join in. He scooted towards a big excavator.
  • Scooby: I'm Scooby-Doo. Can I help?
  • Captain Simian: Oh my, no.
  • Alec Baldwin: Captain Simian replied kindly.
  • Captain Simian: Help Knuckles.
  • Alec Baldwin: Knuckles the Echinda was shoving rock and rubble with his giant blade.
  • Scooby: I'm Scooby-Doo. Can I help?
  • Knuckles: I don't need help.
  • Alec Baldwin: Boomed Knuckles.
  • Knuckles: Try Streaky.
  • Scooby: I'm Scooby-Doo.
  • Alec Baldwin: He whirred cheerfully.
  • Candy: Mind my paint!
  • Alec Baldwin: Snapped the pixie.
  • Streaky: Candy!
  • Alec Baldwin: Scolded Streaky.
  • Candy: Sorry. Welcome to the pack.
  • Streaky: And if you want to work...
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Streaky.
  • Candy: See Commander Ulysses Feral.
  • Alec Baldwin: Candy said cheekily.
  • Candy: He's in charge.
  • Alec Baldwin: Commander Ulysses Feral introduced Scooby-Doo to his oiler.
  • Scooby's Oiler: I'm here to help you work safely.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said the oiler.
  • Commander Ulysses Feral: No speeding and no horse playing.
  • Alec Baldwin: Added Commander Ulysses Feral.
  • Commander Ulysses Feral: Now go help Diddy Kong.
  • Scooby: Yes sir!
  • Alec Baldwin: Replied Scooby eagerly and he raced off.
  • Scooby's Oiler: Remember...
  • Alec Baldwin: Called the oiler.
  • Scooby's Oiler: Safety first.
  • Alec Baldwin: Diddy is the kong. He makes the hardest job seem like play.
  • Scooby: I'm Scooby-Doo. I'm here to help.
  • Diddy: More help means more dirt, more dirt means more fun. I'm Diddy Kong.
  • Alec Baldwin: Scooby and Diddy Kong were working hard and having wonderful fun. Suddenly, a huge koopa roared by.
  • Diddy: Larry!
  • Alec Baldwin: Diddy cried.
  • Scooby: So that's Larry.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Scooby.
  • Scooby: Ash was right, he is trouble.
  • Diddy: Look out, Scooby!
  • Alec Baldwin: Cried Diddy. Larry stopped just in time. Scooby refused to move.
  • Scooby: Stop bullying!
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Scooby bravely.
  • Larry: Can't you take a joke?
  • Alec Baldwin: Larry grumbled and dieseled away.
  • Diddy: Thank you, Scooby.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Diddy Kong. Then Commander Ulysses Feral shouted...
  • Commander Ulysses Feral: Captain Simian, move this rock!
  • Scooby: I'll do it!
  • Alec Baldwin: Cried Scooby. Scooby scooped a bucket full of rock.
  • Scooby's Oiler: Stop!
  • Alec Baldwin: Shouted his oiler, but he didn't stop. He was too eager to help.
  • Candy: No!
  • Alec Baldwin: Shouted Candy. But it was too late.
  • Scooby: Oh no!
  • Alec Baldwin: He cried.
  • Scooby: Oops!
  • Alec Baldwin: Scooby sputtered. Lt. Feral was glad Scooby wasn't hurt but she was disappointed.
  • Lt. Feral: Safety first!
  • Alec Baldwin: She said firmly.
  • Lt. Feral: Means you don't rush in where you don't belong.
  • Scooby: I'm sorry, Lt. Feral.
  • Alec Baldwin: Scooby said sadly.
  • Lt. Feral: Maybe you're not be ready for the pack.
  • Alec Baldwin: Sighed Lt. Feral.
  • Lt. Feral: We'll see if you can do better tomorrow.
  • Alec Baldwin: After Lt. Feral returned to the yards, Scooby was sad. Candy could see he was unhappy.
  • Candy: You're a good front loader.
  • Alec Baldwin: She said.
  • Diddy: And a good friend.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Diddy Kong.
  • Ash: Being a good friend is important.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ash. That made Scooby feel just a bit better.

It's Only Snow

  • Alec Baldwin: It's winter holiday time on the land of Cartoons. It's very cold, but the characters don't mind. They loved this time of year when the stations looked jolly in their decorations. There was plenty of work with passengers and parcels to be delivered no matter what the weather.
  • Kevin: Driver says there's more snow on the way.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Kevin.
  • Al: We'll soon be wearing our snowploughs.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Al.
  • Tai: You'll enjoy that. Won't you, Ash?
  • Alec Baldwin: Teased Tai.
  • Ash: You know I wont.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: I don't like my snowplough.
  • Alec Baldwin: Sure enough that night, the wind blew and the snow fell heavily. The next morning, Bugs Bunny arrived. He told the characters they would have snowploughs fitted.
  • Bugs: And you are to collect a special from Callan Station. It's needed for the village feast on Puss' branch line.
  • Alec Baldwin: Ash was excited about his special, but not about his snowplough.
  • Ash: Please sir. My plough is awkward and uncomfortable. Do I have to wear it?
  • Bugs: Everyone has to wear a snowplough.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Bugs Bunny. The fitters, his driver and fireman all helped with Ash's snowplough.
  • Ash's Driver: We'll have to try that again.
  • Alec Baldwin: Laughed his driver.
  • Ash: Big horrid awkward thing.
  • Alec Baldwin: Ash grumbled. He was much happier when he arrived at Callan Station and saw his special. It was a beautiful Christmas tree.
  • Kevin: The tree will have lights and stand in the middle of the village.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Kevin.
  • Kevin: Make sure you get it to Puss safely.
  • Ash: I will.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ash. Ash arrived at Maithwaite and Puss was very happy to see him.
  • Puss: The villagers will be delighted with this tree.
  • Alec Baldwin: Puss said.
  • Puss: I'm glad you had your snowplough. I can't clear the snowdrifts by myself.
  • Alec Baldwin: Ash couldn't see there was a huge rock buried under the snow. Suddenly, his snowplough hit the rock.
  • Ash: Bouncing buffers!
  • Alec Baldwin: Exclaimed Ash.
  • Ash: My plough is broken!
  • Alec Baldwin: His driver tried to stop but the broken plough hit the water tower.
  • Ash: Cinders and ashes!
  • Alec Baldwin: Exclaimed Ash.
  • Ash's Driver: We can't go any further.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ash's driver.
  • Ash's Driver: And there's no one to help us.
  • Ash: But the villagers need their tree.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ash.
  • Ash: Let me try again, I'm sure I can make it.
  • Alec Baldwin: It wasn't easy without a snowplough. But Ash was determined. He pushed and he pushed and he pushed. Ash was trying as hard as he could, but there was just one snowdrift after another. Finally, Ash and Puss were pulling into the village station. Ash whistled and the villagers cheered when they saw their beautiful tree.
  • Villagers: Hooray!
  • Alec Baldwin: They said.
  • Villagers: Hooray!
  • Alec Baldwin: The next day, Bugs Bunny sent for Ash. Ash was worried. What would Bugs Bunny say about his broken snowplough? But Bugs Bunny wasn't cross, he was very pleased.
  • Bugs: The villagers had a wonderful feast.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Bugs: You were very brave to take on that snow without a plough.
  • Ash: Thank you, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ash.
  • Bugs: As you know...
  • Alec Baldwin: Continued Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: ...there are no spare snowploughs. So, you'll just have to do without yours for a while.
  • Ash: Oh, thank you, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Grinned Ash.

The World's Strongest Poke Boss

  • Alec Baldwin: The characters on the land of Cartoons like being responsible, reliable and really useful. They worked hard to compete their jobs on time. They don't like confusion and delay. But the troublesome Beedrill delighted mischief and their mischief causes trouble as poor Tai found out.
  • Bugs: Tai has had an accident and been sent for repairs.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: There are no other characters available. So Ken will help until Shaggy returns.
  • Characters: Yes sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Huffed the characters, but they weren't happy. The characters didn't like Ken he was always being rude and always showing off.
  • Mushra: I hope Tai's mended soon.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Mushra.
  • Ash: He moves more Beedrill than three villains put together.
  • Alec Baldwin: Agreed Ash.
  • Scott: Beedrill are no one's friends.
  • Alec Baldwin: Huffed Scott. The next day, Ken was working at the docks.
  • Ken: When Bugs Bunny sees how good I am.
  • Alec Baldwin: He bragged to the Beedrill.
  • Ken: He'll get rid of steam characters once and for all.
  • Alec Baldwin: This gave the troublesome Beedrill an idea. As Ken was shunting them together, they started to sing.
  • Troublesome Beedrill: (singing) Is that all you can haul, Tai loads are longer, is that all you can haul, Tai must be stronger.
  • Alec Baldwin: Ken was cross. He was sure to be stronger than Tai.
  • Ken: I'll push you all at the same time.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said. The Beedrill giggled.
  • Troublesome Beedrill: (singing) Push us all, that's the longest, push us all, you'll be the strongest.
  • Ken: That's me.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ken.
  • Ken: The world's strongest Poke Boss.
  • Alec Baldwin: And Ken shunted five Beedrill together, then ten, then fifteen. Soon he had an enormous line of twenty Beedrill.
  • Mushra: What's Ken doing?
  • Alec Baldwin: Cried Mushra.
  • Ash: He thinks he's the world's strongest Poke Boss.
  • Alec Baldwin: Replied Ash. Ken didn't know the shunters have the brakes on the Beedrill. The troublesome Beedrill knew, but encouraged Ken to push anyway.
  • Troublesome Beedrill: Push, push, push!
  • Alec Baldwin: Ken pushed and he pushed and he pushed, but the Beedrill didn't move. So Ken decided to pull the Beedrill instead.
  • Troublesome Beedrill: (singing) Heave ho, heave ho, you can pull but we wont go.
  • Alec Baldwin: Sang the Beedrill. This made Ken very cross. He pulled and he pulled and he pulled.
  • Ken: Help!
  • (Ken falls into a barge)
  • Ken: Grease and oil!
  • Alec Baldwin: Ken sulked as the trucks laughed and laughed. Bugs Bunny looked down crossly at Ken.
  • Bugs: I thought you would be a proper dockyard villain, but I was wrong.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Bugs: Can you make up for lost time, Tai.
  • Tai: Oh yes, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Tai replied happily. He backed up to the Beedrill and the shunters released the brakes. Then Tai pulled away as easy as pie. And the characters cheered. Ken was sent home in disgrace, but the characters had learned a lesson.
  • Ash: Even troublesome Beedrill can do you a favor sometime.
  • Alec Baldwin: Chuffed Ash.
  • Mushra: Like getting rid of a smelly old Ken.
  • Alec Baldwin: Puffed Mushra.

Middle Boy

  • Alec Baldwin: Bugs Bunny's characters love their work. Scott likes pulling the express, Ash likes his branch line and Mushra likes taking the mail. But none of them likes being a middle character. It's no fun being stuck in a middle. One morning, Mushra was cheerfully collecting Beedrill in the smelter's yards, where Morton and Roy worked. They like to play tricks on steam characters. Mushra didn't want to fall for their tricks again. But before he knew it, he was stuck in the middle.
  • Mushra: Oh, Bother!
  • Alec Baldwin: Huffed Mushra crossly.
  • Morton: Little green piggy in the middle!
  • Alec Baldwin: Morton teased. Mushra's driver was cross. With Beedrill in front and Beedrill behind, Mushra had to go slower. Al was in the yards when Mushra was steamed slowly by.
  • Al: Ha, ha! It's Pokey Mushra!
  • Alec Baldwin: Al laughed.
  • Mushra: You wouldn't be laughing if you were stuck in the middle.
  • Alec Baldwin: Mushra fumed. And he fumed all the way to the coaling plant. One by one, he shunted the Beedrill onto the tipper's loading ramp and the coal was unloaded. Mushra was not allowed to cross the loading ramp until the tipper had been turned off. It was against the rules. But as soon as his driver and fireman left, there was trouble. Tai arrived to pick up coal. He bumped into the Beedrill and the Beedrill bumped into Mushra. Mushra was pushed onto the loading ramp.
  • Mushra: Help!
  • Alec Baldwin: Cried Mushra. Mushra was hoist it up, tipped over and brought back down again. After Mushra was load back down to the ground, the manager was very cross.
  • Manager: You have caused confusion and delay!
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Manager: I'll have to report this to Bugs Bunny.
  • Alec Baldwin: That night, Bugs Bunny spoke severely to Mushra.
  • Bugs: I'm very disappointed you, Mushra.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Bugs: You know it's against the rules to go on to the tipper's loading ramp.
  • Mushra: Sorry, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Mushra said sadly.
  • Mushra: But it wasn't my fault. It's because those koopas made me a middle character.
  • Bugs Bunny: Never the less, you will shunt Beedrill in the yard until I can get to the bottom of this.
  • Al: Pah!
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Al, thinking that he can hear.
  • Al: I can handle those koopas with bent buffers and a busted boiler!
  • Bugs: Then you will do Mushra's run in the smelter.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Bugs Bunny.
  • Al: Yes sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Al. The next day, Al arrived at the smelter. He was determined to be tricked by Morton and Roy.
  • Morton: Hello, Al.
  • Alec Baldwin: Oosed Morton.
  • Morton: Come to learn a thing or two from those who know?
  • Al: Just get my Beedrill ready and stay out of my way.
  • Alec Baldwin: Huffed Al importantly.
  • Roy: Yes, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Roy chimed gricely. Al cheerfully backed up to his Beedrill. He was certain he had fooled Morton and Roy but he was wrong.
  • Morton: Little red piggy in the middle!
  • Alec Baldwin: Chortled Morton.
  • Roy: Just like Mushra.
  • Alec Baldwin: Jeered Roy.
  • Al: I am not like Alex.
  • Alec Baldwin: Puffed Al.
  • Al: I am not a middle character and I am not moving.
  • Alec Baldwin: And he didn't. When Bugs Bunny heard the news he sent Mushra to fetch Al. This made Mushra happy. He buffered up to Al and took him along with all the Beedrill to the docks.
  • Manager: Right on time.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said the manager.
  • Manager: But what does that big red character doing in the middle?
  • Mushra: Learning.
  • Alec Baldwin: Mushra replied.
  • Manager: Learning what?
  • Mushra: Learning to be a middle character.
  • Alec Baldwin: Mushra laughed. Al covered himself in steam hoping no one would recognize him, but it was good. It was only big red character on the island and everyone knows his name is Al!

Feather Bother

  • Alec Baldwin: Bumpty and Raphael are quarry animals. They are birds. They play together, they arrange Beedrill together. They even get up to naughtyness together. Wherever you find Bumpty, you will find Raphael. Wherever you find Raphael, you will find Bumpty. Bugs Bunny come to inspect his quarry characters. He found that Lily and Bumpty were in fine working order.
  • Bugs: Unfortunately, Raphael.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bugs Bunny.
  • Bugs: Your feathers are fallen. You must report to the engine works inmediately for a new set of buffers. Lily, you will have to work with Bumpty until Raphael returns.
  • Lily: Yes, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Replied Lily and Bugs Bunny drove away. Raphael was happy.
  • Raphael: I'm going to get new feathers!
  • Alec Baldwin: He gloated to Bumpty.
  • Bumpty: Well I should get new feathers too.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bumpty complained.
  • Bumpty: We're birds. We do everything together.
  • Raphael: But you don't need new feathers.
  • Alec Baldwin: Raphael teased.
  • Bumpty: You're getting new feathers because you're getting clumsy.
  • Alec Baldwin: Snorted Bumpty enviously.
  • Raphael: No I'm not!
  • Bumpty: Yes you are!
  • Raphael: No I'm not!
  • Bumpty: Yes you are!
  • Lily: Will you two stop being crackpots?
  • Alec Baldwin: Lily scolded.
  • Lily: Now come on, Bumpty, we've got work to do.
  • Alec Baldwin: Raphael couldn't wait to get new feathers. Later, Bumpty watched as Raphael chuffed away to the engine works. He was green with envy, he wanted new feathers too. Bumpty returned to his job but he wasn't thinking about work. All he could think about was Raphael's new feathers.
  • Bumpty: Ooh!
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Bumpty.
  • Bumpty: (sneezes)
  • Lily: Be careful.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Lily.
  • Lily: And stop thinking about Raphael's new feathers.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bumpty tried thinking about birds, he tried thinking about trees, he tried thinking about anything but Raphael and his brand new feathers. But it didn't work.
  • Bumpty: I want new feathers too!
  • Alec Baldwin: He cried.
  • Lily: Just be happy you're in good working order.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Lily.
  • Bumpty: It's not fair!
  • Alec Baldwin: Bumpty huffed and he wheeshed soot all over Lily.
  • Lily: Bumpty!
  • Alec Baldwin: Gasped Lily.
  • Bumpty: Oops, sorry.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Bumpty. Bumpty tried his best to get with his work. But the Beedrill have spotted a chance for a tease.
  • Beedrill: Poor poor Bumpty, he works, he suffers, while Raphael his friend gets brand new feathers!
  • Bumpty: I might not have new feathers.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Bumpty: But I still know how to biff Beedrill.
  • Lily: No!
  • Alec Baldwin: Lily cried. But it was too late. Raphael puffed into the quarry with his shiny new feathers just in time to hear...
  • Bumpty: Bust my buffers!
  • Alec Baldwin: Cried Bumpty.
  • Raphael: I think you have.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Raphael. When Bugs Bunny arrived and saw Bumpty's broken feathers, he was not happy.
  • Bugs: You behaved badly Bumpty.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bugs Bunny said.
  • Bugs: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
  • Bumpty: Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Bumpty.
  • Bugs: Before you get new feathers.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bugs Bunny continued.
  • Bugs: I want you to think what it means to be a responsible reliable character.
  • Bumpty: Yes, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Answered Bumpty weakly. After Bugs Bunny left, Raphael rolled up to Bumpty with his new feathers gleaming.
  • Bumpty: They are nice feathers.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bumpty said.
  • Raphael: Thanks.
  • Alec Baldwin: Raphael said.
  • Raphael: I'm sorry I teased you.
  • Bumpty: That's all right.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Bumpty.
  • Bumpty: I was naughty too.
  • Raphael: Of course you are.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Raphael.
  • Raphael: We're birds.

Ash and The Jet Skates

  • Alec Baldwin: Scott is a very proud X-Man. He's the fastest character on the land of Cartoons. He loves speeding along his line with the wind blowing across his funnel.
  • Driver: You've broken the record again.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said his driver.
  • Scott: I'm the fastest!
  • Alec Baldwin: Boasted Scott. But not all the characters were impressed.
  • Al: Speed isn't everything.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Al smugly.
  • Ash: But being reliable and useful is.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ash.
  • Scott: You slow characters will never understand.
  • Alec Baldwin: Snorted Scott.
  • Scott: Because you'll never go as fast as me.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bugs Bunny arrived with news of a special for Ash.
  • Bugs: I want you to collect the jet engine and take it to the airfield.
  • Mushra: What's a jet engine?
  • Alec Baldwin: Asked Mushra?
  • Bugs: A jet engine goes forward by pushing hot air out of its back.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bugs explained.
  • Ash: Just like you blow up a balloon and let it go.
  • Alec Baldwin: Added Ash.
  • Ash: It's very fast.
  • Alec Baldwin: Ash likes making special deliveries for Bugs Bunny. It makes him feel special. But secretly, he wished he could go as fast as Scott, just once. Ash arrived at the docks, excited to see the jet engine. It was shiny and modern and Ash had never seen anything like it. He couldn't wait to start his journey, but Bowser was taking his time.
  • Ash: Hurry up!
  • Alec Baldwin: Puffed Ash.
  • Ash: This is a special special.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bowser did not like being told what to do especially by a trainer. He became so cranky, that he was careless with his hook. His hook knocked the switch and the switch started the jet engine and the engine began to wind. The wind got louder and louder and louder.
  • Bowser: Uh, oh.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Bowser. Before he could say anything else, the jet engine was rocketing Ash up the track.
  • Ash: Whoa!
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Ash. The driver tried to put on the brakes, but Ash couldn't stop.
  • Ash: Whoa boy!
  • Alec Baldwin: The stationmaster called ahead.
  • Signalman: Clear the lines, it's a runaway train!
  • Alec Baldwin: Signals were changed and points were switched. Ash had never been so exciting. Ash flew by Al and rocketed passed Tai and raced by Mushra. They were amazed. Sonic was excited when he saw Ash flying down the track.
  • Sonic: Want a race, Ash?
  • Alec Baldwin: Beeped Sonic.
  • Sonic: Ah, never mind.
  • Alec Baldwin: No one had ever seen a trainer go so fast. Scott had no idea that Ash racing along the main line.
  • Scott: I am the fastest.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Scott proudly.
  • Ash: Hi Scott, bye Scott.
  • Alec Baldwin: Scott could not believe what he had seen. At last, the jet engine ran out of fuel and Ash was back under his own power. He steamed gently back into Knapford Station.
  • Ash: Sorry for overtaking you back there, Scott.
  • Alec Baldwin: Teased Ash.
  • Scott: Overtake me? I didn't notice.
  • Alec Baldwin: Scott huffed.
  • Tai: You didn't notice the fastest trainer on the land of cartoons?
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Tai.
  • Ash: Yes, I am the fastest.
  • Alec Baldwin: Puffed Ash. Mushra felt a little sorry for Scott.
  • Mushra: Scott doesn't have to go as fast as a jet engine. He's a teenager.
  • Al: But he's still full of hot air.
  • Alec Baldwin: Whistled Al and Scott wheeshed away.

Dunkin' Buzz

  • Alec Baldwin: Casey, Omi and Rikochet walked cheerfully through the Cartoon countryside. The characters were going to help Buzz with an important job at the incline railway. The characters enjoyed working at the incline railway. They like the way the loaded slate Beedrill rolled down the incline pulling the empty slate Beedrill up. But they are always careful. Buzz doesn't like working at the incline railway. He is always impatient to get back at the junction. This makes him careless and gets him in a lot of trouble. Casey hoped Buzz would stay out of trouble today, but he was already in too much of a hurry.
  • Buzz: I'm a plain speaking kid.
  • Alec Baldwin: Gruffed Buzz.
  • Buzz: So collect your slate Beedrill and be quick about it.
  • Alec Baldwin: And off he steamed.
  • Omi: Bossy boots.
  • Alec Baldwin: Chuffed Omi.
  • Rikochet: Pushy puffer.
  • Alec Baldwin: Huffed Rikochet. They didn't like Buzz telling them what to do.
  • Casey: He just wants to get back to the bustle of the junction.
  • Alec Baldwin: Casey said. Buzz wanted everyone to work faster.
  • Buzz: You're supposed to be helping me.
  • Alec Baldwin: He grumbled.
  • Buzz: But you're as slow as snails.
  • Casey: We're proper engines.
  • Alec Baldwin: Casey huffed crossly.
  • Casey: We followed the rules.
  • Omi: We can't send up more than four slate Beedrill at a time.
  • Alec Baldwin: Chuffed Omi.
  • Buzz: Then work faster.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Buzz impatiently. Later that day, Buzz was working at the incline.
  • Buzz: I'll show you how fast a really useful character can work.
  • Alec Baldwin: Buzz called as he hastily biffed one slate Beedrill into another and then another. Soon, Buzz had his four slate Beedrill.
  • Buzz: Nothing to it!
  • Alec Baldwin: He boasted to Casey.
  • Casey: Those slate Beedrill will pay you back.
  • Alec Baldwin: Warned Casey.
  • Casey: Beedrill don't like to be biffed.
  • Buzz: I can handle Beedrill.
  • Alec Baldwin: He cried. The three little characters could see Buzz was not going to listen. They carefully chuffed away from the incline with their slate Beedrill full of slate. Buzz was so impatient he became even more careless.
  • Buzz: I'll show that smelly kid and those lazy steamers.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said to his driver.
  • Buzz's Driver: Careful.
  • Alec Baldwin: Cautioned his driver.
  • Buzz's Driver: You're asking for trouble.
  • Alec Baldwin: And he got it. Buzz didn't notice his chain was tangled in the coupling of the slate Beedrill in front of him. Suddenly, he was being pulled up the track by the empty slate Beedrill.
  • Buzz: Bouncing bogies!
  • Alec Baldwin: He cried.
  • Buzz: It's got me!
  • Alec Baldwin: Buzz's driver jumped clear. Casey returned to see Buzz being pulled up the incline.
  • Casey: I tried to warn him.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Casey.
  • Casey's Driver: He never listens.
  • Alec Baldwin: The little kid's driver said. The chain pulling Buzz's slate Beedrill couldn't hold the weight. It suddenly snapped. Buzz plummeted down the incline.
  • Buzz: Help!
  • Alec Baldwin: He yelled.
  • (Buzz falls into a pond)
  • Buzz: Glub, glub, glub.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Buzz: Bluggle my bloiler.
  • Alec Baldwin: Buzz felt foolish and very wet. When Bugs Bunny arrived, he spoke severly to Buzz.
  • Bugs: You have not been a responsible character.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Bugs: Your impatience has caused confusion and delay and you owe these characters in apology.
  • Buzz: Sorry.
  • Alec Baldwin: Buzz said to Casey, Buster and Rikochet.
  • Bugs: Once you have been repaired.
  • Alec Baldwin: Bugs Bunny said.
  • Bugs: You will work at the incline until you learned to be patient and careful.
  • Buzz: Yes, sir.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Buzz.

Faulty Voices

  • Alec Baldwin: It was early morning on the land of Cartoons. Buzz was waiting for Loud who was bringing some Beedrill for him to take to Strawberry Grove. Buzz was also to take Edgar Philips and the new organ. While they waited, Edgar played a lively tune. Loud had steamed all through the night to bring Buzz his wagons. But as he approached the junction, a low hanging branch knocked his whistle off. This meant he couldn't work until he got a new one.
  • Loud: I can't run on the tracks without my whistle.
  • Alec Baldwin: Chuffed Loud.
  • Loud: That would be dangerous.
  • Buzz: A character's not a character without a whistle.
  • Alec Baldwin: Boasted Buzz and just to prove it, he let off a big blast. But the rest of the characters just ignored him. Buzz chuffed away in a big huff. He was cross.
  • Buzz: They're jealous of my fine whistle.
  • Alec Baldwin: Buzz puffed as he steamed through the countryside. He whistled at some sheep. They were too busy eating grass to take notice.
  • Buzz: Bah!
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Buzz.
  • Buzz: I need to whistle louder and longer next time.
  • Alec Baldwin: Soon, Buzz approached the level crossing where Malinda Doe waited with a farmer's prized bull. This time, Buzz as loud and as long as he could.
  • Bull: (roars)
  • Alec Baldwin: Said the bull.
  • Malinda: Stop that nonsense, Buzz.
  • Alec Baldwin: Malinda called. Buzz carried on cheerfully down the track. But he hadn't noticed his whistle had come loose. Then, Buzz saw Freakazoid plowing a field.
  • Buzz: He'll get the loudest and longest whistle yet.
  • Alec Baldwin: He chortled to himself. And he blew so hard, his whistle shot off like a mighty rocket and landed out of sight. Everyone searched for Buzz's whistle but it was nowhere to be seen.
  • Driver: We're stuck.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said his driver.
  • Driver: We can't move without a whistle. It would be too dangerous.
  • Edgar: Leave it to me.
  • Alec Baldwin: Edgar said. For the rest of the day, Buzz didn't make a sound. But Edgar's organ did. As Buzz delivered his Beedrill, Edgar tooted the organ at every crossing and every stop. It alerted everyone just as a whistle would. Although Buzz didn't think so. Finally Buzz finished delivering the last of his Beedrill.
  • (She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain playing on organ)
  • Alec Baldwin: Buzz steamed quietly back to the junction as Edgar played the organ.
  • Casey: Look.
  • Alec Baldwin: Casey teased.
  • Casey: It's Buzz the musical character.
  • Omi: Let's whistle along.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Omi.
  • Rikochet: (whistles)
  • Alec Baldwin: Whistled Rikochet. But Loud who had a shiny new whistle felt sorry for Buzz.
  • Loud: You really did well to deliver your goods without a whistle.
  • Alec Baldwin: He said.
  • Buzz: Did you think so?
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Buzz cheering up a bit.
  • Loud: Absolutely.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Loud.
  • Loud: Even though a character's not a character without a whistle.
  • Edgar: Or an organ.
  • Alec Baldwin: Chuckled Edgar and he tooted the organ. And all the characters tooted back except Buzz, who just grinned.

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